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The Baaad Christmas Jokes Thread 2020 - Old, New, Ancient, Prehistoric - We don't care just make them Bad.


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I can't recall where it came from but at least 30 years ago we sang in the pub at Xmas.........and I only remember it from 5.

5 Choir boys queer

4 Sh.. house doors

3 French whores

2 pairs of drawers   and my Lord Montague of Buleigh .        ok ,ok wrong spelling of Bewly .

 

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But, seriously, to all fellow members of Thai Visa.  Well, most many some of them at least:

 

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2021, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make the country great. Not to imply that this country is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only country in the world. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.

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1 hour ago, toofarnorth said:

I can't recall where it came from but at least 30 years ago we sang in the pub at Xmas.........and I only remember it from 5.

5 Choir boys queer

4 Sh.. house doors

3 French whores

2 pairs of drawers   and my Lord Montague of Buleigh .        ok ,ok wrong spelling of Bewly .

 

RN version, hopefully redacted sufficiently to avoid the attentions of the bad words police.

 

Twelve t**ts a twitching
Eleven legs a locking
Ten tits a trembling
Nine knees a knocking
Eight aching a***h***s
Seven syphilitics
Six convicted vicars
(falsetto) Five choirboys queer
Four s***house doors
Three French whores
Two pairs of draws
and Lord Montague of Beaulieu. (Beaulieu incorrectly pronounced as Beau-li-eu)

 

I seem to remember several variants of the last line involving a dose of VD and a used "French letter" (condom).

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On 12/8/2020 at 10:55 AM, ballpoint said:

What do you call a blind dinosaur ?
Doyouthinkhesawus.

Have to correct you here

 

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesawus

 

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Heneversawus

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