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How Much Help (do you need) from Relatives At Home?

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On 12/5/2020 at 12:25 PM, Pilotman said:

Feeling rather guilty again about the amount of help I request and need from my kids back in UK, that I never anticipated.  They don't mind at all, but I do.  Makes me feel that I can't manage my own affairs from here, but companies based in UK, and probably in many other of our Home Countries,  don't make it easy to contact them from Thailand.  Amazon is a prime  example ( sorry about the pun).  Want to cancel Prime, can't do it from here.  Want to sort of my ISA, can't do it from here.  Want to tell of a change of phone number, very difficult., deal with government departments from here, not at all easy.  Getting replacement credit and debit cards forwarded on, a pain. The kids are a valuable resource in doing all this stuff for their dear old Dad,  but I don't think they expected it to be so much. Goodness knows how expats manage who don' t have those resources in their home country.   

Thanks for your reply, Pilotman. I totally sympathize with you about the guilt we can burden ourselves with! Fortunately I didn't have to ask my kids for much more than help with the mail, collecting and forwarding credit & debit cards, etc. It was one of the reasons why I changed my status to "Resident in Thailand" - one of the worst decisions I've made, and I regretted it from the day it was granted. It looks, though, that I can revert back to UK Resident with a bit of admin moves here and there

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Pretend they are not there, you will find away to achieve what you need. Humans are great at challenges and overcoming them.   I am not saying you are taking the easy option, but sub co

Feeling rather guilty again about the amount of help I request and need from my kids back in UK, that I never anticipated.  They don't mind at all, but I do.  Makes me feel that I can't manage my own

an ISA  in the uk,  when residing full time in Thailand says it all. next. 

On 12/5/2020 at 8:07 AM, Lacessit said:

I have a CARE package hopefully arriving from my son in Australia soon. Vegemite, shaving cream, sunblock and golf gloves. In a year's time, repeat.

I request technical assistance from my son on computer matters, we usually sort them out via LINE or Skype. While I am not computer illiterate, he is quite a few streets ahead of me.

I feel no guilt about asking for help, as I assisted him quite substantially when he bought the house he lives in.

He is caring for his mother, who has Alzheimer's. As he says, he has a vested interest in me staying healthy and compos mentis for as long as possible.

Why not doing the computer assistance via Teamveawer? It´s perfect. I ue that with my wife.


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We aren't relying on any friends or family members in the U.S. to help us.  I've seen that go wrong for too many people.  


We set up an account with a commercial mail forwarding service (USABox.com) before we left and they forward things like credit cards, Amazon orders, etc.  It's important to select a service that will use USPS in addition to FedEx/UPS/DHL so you can get items from Amazon via USPS and avoid duty charges.  As mentioned, I've found that many items I was ordering via Amazon are available via Lazada, so my Amazon business has declined recently.


Our credit union services the HQ of a Fortune 50 company, so they are used to their customers being all over the globe.  No problem with them.  We have a MagicJack account and the area code is the same as the address for the mail forwarding service.  When the credit union needs to send us one of those OTPs, they will do it verbally, so all I have to do is have the MagicJack set up to receive a phone call from their OTP robot.


A few years ago, our investment manager firm came up with a rule that they can't service clients with overseas addresses, but we'd been with them for over 40 years, very happily.  So we set up a POA with our long-time lawyer in our previous U.S. town and he sits in on our phone calls with the investment firm.  That seems to satisfy their requirements.  In theory, our lawyer could clean out our account, but I don't think he will.  I don't think he really pays attention during the calls and most of the time I have to remind him to bill us for his time.  Recently we started to do the calls via Zoom and he didn't want to turn on his camera.  I think he does other work during the calls.


It's handy to have the U.S. Consulate here in Chiang Mai the few times we've needed a notary.  As retirees, our financial life is fairly simple.  

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I have no chldren but have an identical twin brother back in the UK who has helped me live abroad for lengthy stints on and off for the last 20 years, but now in our retirement the last 10 years his services are invaluable, even if not too onerous. I learned quickly to simplify what I need him to do without p33ing him off.


Latest venture, being twins, is we are both applying for our UK pension as we both turn 66 soon. All he had to do was take 5 minutes to apply online on the gov.uk site, wait 4 days and he got a confirmation letter in the mail of the amount and when his first payment would be made.


I had to fill in a 24 page international appllication form, part of which asks for dates and addresses for every home address you have lived at, as well as every UK job and staff number you ever worked in the UK. PITA. Print it, sign it and mail it.


This I mailed Thai post to him and he forwarded it registered and emailed me the proof of delivery. Am now waiting for what I assume will be a written confirmation to my Thai address. 7 weeks have passed. I worry they will ask me to send original copies of birth and marriage certificates. It always worries me mailing originals. Will see how this goes, fingers crossed, but they did say due to covid they 'may' accept copies.


He also had had power of attorney which we have never needed to use in anger, and anyway ,being identical twins, I am pretty sure he could pass off as me in person any day of the week 🙂



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On 12/5/2020 at 2:25 PM, Kwasaki said:

Don't ask much of my offspring most of them come here every year and stay with us except this year of course.


My UK bank has my address here so they send my credit cards and debit cards here.


My family is quite large so some of them can't always get over so we just keep in touch all year by facebook messager.

What's the name of the bank

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