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Just windering if anyone can shed some light on the following...

 

I've been very happily married to my Thai wife for 4 years now.  I have been travelling back and forth from Canada regularily as I finish up work there and prepare to move here permanently.  I went back to Canada in January 2020 and was to come home to stay for good in April.  Then COVID hit.  Finally got back here in December...

 

Now here's the situation.  My wife has totally changed.  One of the biggest changes is in bed.  After sex she used to put her PJs back on, snuggle up to me and go to sleep.  Now she immediately rolls off, gets up and showers, demands I have one, too.  I ask why, and she says this is the way Thai people are.  Always clean themselves after sex.

 

So my question is, is this normal.  For 3-1/2 years it sure wasn't normal.  And on top of that, she always was very affectionate with lots of kisses, now she barely gives me a kiss good night. So what's with that?

 

Any answers out there?  

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If you sense something wrong then there probably is. You were gone a long time 

Looking for answers from strangers who don't know your wife?    

This is NOT the way normal thai girls are at all.   this is how bar girls operate when they are banging 7/8 clients in a day.    you know where the bin is,  time to take out the

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Hard to say...could simply be a reaction to Covid fears, or could be something more sinister. Any other behavioral changes besides sex that you've noticed since you've been back ?

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20 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

Looking for answers from strangers who don't know your wife?

 

 

The question was not about my wife, per se. I was asking if it is a thai culrural practice to shower and clean ones body immediately after having sex?  And I ask because for three years this was not the norm. 

 

So far no one has addressed the question, only the actions leading up to the question.  

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1 minute ago, WinterGael said:

Interesting ... there is a couple in our village that she now calls brother and sister.  Say they look after her while I eas gone.  And yes, she does like to go spend time with them a lot.  This is new, too. 😞😞

so what, that means nothing on the face of it.  Don't get paranoid. 

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14 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

so what, that means nothing on the face of it.  Don't get paranoid. 

Not paranoid ... just scratching my head a lot and windering what's going on in her head. Know it's very Thai to try and sweep issues under the rug rather than create marital discord.

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we shower before we get into bed... but that is not important to what you do... 

 

in relationships, things change... thats pretty normal. 

 

calling everyone brother and sister is typical of Thai, but what might be more indicative is how much time she spends w/them and whether or not she includes you comfortably in visiting w/them... what goes on outside the house is likely more indicative than what goes on inside.. 

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1 minute ago, 1FinickyOne said:

we shower before we get into bed... but that is not important to what you do... 

 

in relationships, things change... thats pretty normal. 

 

calling everyone brother and sister is typical of Thai, but what might be more indicative is how much time she spends w/them and whether or not she includes you comfortably in visiting w/them... what goes on outside the house is likely more indicative than what goes on inside.. 

That's what concerns me, too. In the first year the biggest change to my life style was the continual, "Tirak, we go friends house eat rice drink beer." Now, not so much.  Most times she hust goes alone.

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After sex shower or not who cares?  If there is anything to the relationship, that should not be an issue really.  

 

If she is saying it is Thai custom and it is not so what?  The point is she is telling you that is what she prefers.  

 

She may have something going on but he does for sure.

 

 

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1 hour ago, WinterGael said:

The question was not about my wife, per se. I was asking if it is a thai culrural practice to shower and clean ones body immediately after having sex?  And I ask because for three years this was not the norm. 

 

So far no one has addressed the question, only the actions leading up to the question.  

 

What is 'normal' Thai practice after sex? I'd have thought there are as many variations of that as there are of the sex act itself. What is important is that you are aware something in your relationship dynamics has changed and are unsettled by it. Looking at one symptom rather than the cause is a red herring. 

You've made the first step of recognition and acknowledgement that something has changed, but what exactly, and what the remedy may be, is for you to discover - unfortunately nobody at this distance can do it for you (and you're likely to get more infantile comments by posting on TV). It could simply be your wife's experience of the past few months without her partner, it could be something more serious, but it is for you to use your best, sensitive efforts to discover what has altered and how to deal with it if you want to 'clear the air'.

 

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1 hour ago, WinterGael said:

No... when i met her she was working in a government office.

Ok, not a clue then. Maybe she just got angry waiting for you to come back, so that she show you disappointment now. Or it might just be that she changed in her feeling thowards you.

Whatever it is, you must just ask the questions you need answer on. If you do not like the answers, try to reason. (Not easy with a Thai woman, or any Thai at all.)

If all fail, it´s your decision, what to make out of it. Hang in or go for the next seasonal fruit plates of delicious flavours.

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