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I once met a man in Hanoi who warned me about spending too much time in Thailand.


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9 minutes ago, holy cow cm said:

Yeah or knowing enough to hear them trying to tell you: you too big.

If they can squeeze a baby out ......... it'll fit.

Edited by BritManToo
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I used to be the life and soul of the party, but then I became a moderator!

Plenty of grumpy, dissatisfied, misanthropic old men the world over!  I'd wager those living in Thailand are having more fun!

morning all, today's anecdote is about the time I bumped into a gentleman in a restaurant in downtown Hanoi. He was a middle aged man and I was a young sprog who just moved to asia. at

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

If they can get a baby out ......... it'll fit.

Unfortunately that is what they always try to do as in getting knocked up, and in reality being here too long that would make you a sour person to what this subject is about.... But your point is well on the point.

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1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I met my Brit schoolteacher wife in a bar ......... so what?

In fact, once I was old enough to enter bars, every relationship I ever had started in a bar. 

From what i remember that worked out well?

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5 hours ago, WineOh said:

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

This is me now after returning here in Sept 2017 after going back home for 3 1/2 years to qualify for age pension . I stay indoors only going out to the supermarket or pharmacy , cant stand being around in laws only the step daughter and grand kids when they come visit and the wife and i well its pretty much over just waiting to be told to get out which i would do now but nowhere to go .

Such is life and i don't mind being alone its been a part of my life since i was in primary school (very short) and subject to bullies which changed as i got older and 188 cm tall in high school . These days i wont take s**t from anyone .

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Appreciate the OP sharing his experience. No harm in that. I'm happy here overall myself. But I give credit to @WineOh as there has been moments when I have seriously contemplated the extent or level in which this society loves mediocrity without much deviation person to person and for lack of a better word 'bland' when it comes to getting to know people the same way you would with westerners. To me, the question is, am I better than this? Surrounding myself with it. Slow life is slow for a reason. It's beautiful too.

 

Do what makes you happy is all you can do at the end of the day! Or work towards it!

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27 minutes ago, keith101 said:

These days i wont take s**t from anyone .

That's got to be a bit difficult living in LOS. Is it not? I mean how is that working out with Thai people?

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I've lived here for 20 yrs and have really enjoyed it. It beat the heck out of continuing down the path I was on. Unfortunately after staying away from the bars except for the once or twice a month frolic a new boss came to town and he was a 2 to 3 night a week guy (and he wanted company). Down the rabbit hole I went. I don't blame him. I don't blame the girls. I don't blame anyone, but me.  I've broken all those bad activities and am happy to be here. The 'boss' I mentioned earlier is still a friend. This is a great place to live. (I just wish I hadn't wasted so, so much money).

 

Now, 16-20 years later, I miss a lot of friends from back in the US, but my home is here...

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Hang on, you are right.

 

Let me just go back to the UK and get married to Mildred then sit in a chair and wait to die.

 

The highlight of my week will be watching a programme called Countryfile where I get to see some udders on a cow.

 

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, jvs said:

From what i remember that worked out well?

It worked out as well as 50% of marriages and lasted 30 years.

Although the highlight of my week WAS watching Countryfile! 

But that was the last white virgin, educated, with her own income, from a good family I ever touched.

Now I just go for bar girls, no waiting, no agonising, no needless expense or drama.

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2 hours ago, Solinvictus said:

That's got to be a bit difficult living in LOS. Is it not? I mean how is that working out with Thai people?

As i said in my post i don't associate wit6h them so no problem for me .

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My opinion: If you become a misanthrope while living in Thailand, it's because you had it in you, not because of Thailand. Same if you become an axe murderer.

 

Sure, there are people who shouldn't live in Thailand, because they are prone to going off the rails. Being far away from home can both trigger or amplify that. Back home, it's easier to get the help and support they need.

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9 hours ago, WineOh said:

morning all,

today's anecdote is about the time I bumped into a gentleman in a restaurant in downtown Hanoi.

He was a middle aged man and I was a young sprog who just moved to asia.

at that time I was a free agent and was still looking for a place to settle.

He was dressed well and seemed like he knew the ropes so I decided to strike up a conversation. 

Turns out he was from Cornwall and had just moved to Vietnam after 33 years in Thailand.

I pumped him for info all night and some of what he told me shocked me a little.

 

I had just visited Thailand for the first time at that point and had a real blast,

I was still well into the 'honeymoon' phase and hadn't (at that point) heard anything even remotely negative about the place.

that evening, all that was about to change.

I asked him why did he leave Thailand?

It took him a while to answer but finally he did.

what he said was that living in Thailand for 33 years had turned him into a misanthrope.

he was now avoiding all contact with people and only talked to me as I reminded him of his son.

He asked me what was I doing all the way out here when I should be back in the UK playing footie with the lads and chasing tail

I told him I was after some adventure that back home could not offer me.

he said that's fine, but please don't make the same mistake that he made. 

He said have fun, fill your boots but do not live there.

No good will come of it.

 

At that time I thought he was mad, which he may well have been.

But his words now have some resonance with me.

He may have been right.

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

but it sure is interesting as I seem to be heading down the exact same path as the elderly man from cornwall.

 

Do any of you have similar experiences as myself or the man from cornwall? 

It's about getting older.

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22 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I think most males avoid other males where I live as they don't want to compare their girlfriends/wives. What can you say to someone who met his wife in the Pink Pussy bar?

 

Snap ?

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I like people who can make it brief. Bill Gross is such one and says: "You need something to look forward to, something to do and someone to love". The ability to do so comes from your own qualities and from the opportunities in your surroundings. I don't think for me other countries would make a big difference. We are different. Others may be more 'sensitive' to surrounding country?

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10 hours ago, Denim said:

 

It's old age that does that to you. Nothing to do with living in Thailand. Hence the term ' grumpy old men '

 

I'm only a half misanthrope as I still like women with a passion , its just the males I avoid.

Misanthrope? No idea what it means

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12 hours ago, WineOh said:

morning all,

today's anecdote is about the time I bumped into a gentleman in a restaurant in downtown Hanoi.

He was a middle aged man and I was a young sprog who just moved to asia.

at that time I was a free agent and was still looking for a place to settle.

He was dressed well and seemed like he knew the ropes so I decided to strike up a conversation. 

Turns out he was from Cornwall and had just moved to Vietnam after 33 years in Thailand.

I pumped him for info all night and some of what he told me shocked me a little.

 

I had just visited Thailand for the first time at that point and had a real blast,

I was still well into the 'honeymoon' phase and hadn't (at that point) heard anything even remotely negative about the place.

that evening, all that was about to change.

I asked him why did he leave Thailand?

It took him a while to answer but finally he did.

what he said was that living in Thailand for 33 years had turned him into a misanthrope.

he was now avoiding all contact with people and only talked to me as I reminded him of his son.

He asked me what was I doing all the way out here when I should be back in the UK playing footie with the lads and chasing tail

I told him I was after some adventure that back home could not offer me.

he said that's fine, but please don't make the same mistake that he made. 

He said have fun, fill your boots but do not live there.

No good will come of it.

 

At that time I thought he was mad, which he may well have been.

But his words now have some resonance with me.

He may have been right.

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

but it sure is interesting as I seem to be heading down the exact same path as the elderly man from cornwall.

 

Do any of you have similar experiences as myself or the man from cornwall? 

I was oblivious as to what you were going say in your post but having read it I have to agree. I to was happy and gregarious now I am morbid most days after 20 years here.

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13 hours ago, cdemundo said:

Disappointed.  I thought it was gonna be a Limerick.

I once met a man in Hanoi

Who claimed the Thai lasses were boys.

I asked "Don't you mind?"

To which he replied:

"Not much, I play with all toys."

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45 minutes ago, onebir said:

I once met a man in Hanoi

Who claimed the Thai lasses were boys.

I asked "Don't you mind?"

To which he replied:

"Not much, I play with all toys."

There was a young lady from Bude,

who went for a swim, in a lake,

A man in a punt,

stuck a pole in her ear,

and said , you cant swim here it's private.

 

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14 hours ago, polpott said:

Try learning Issan. The things those bar girls say about you when they think you don't understand. If you're not thick skinned (I am) your self esteem could hit zero very quickly.

I speak a bit of thai,and my esteem won,t hit zero,the only thing that,ll hit zero is any hope of me buying a them a lady drink,anything can be bought in the los,friendship,respect,etc and its all a delusion.last thing i,m concerned about when out and about is what a ho,s opinion of me is.

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15 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I think most males avoid other males where I live as they don't want to compare their girlfriends/wives. What can you say to someone who met his wife in the Pink Pussy bar?

How much?

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20 hours ago, WineOh said:

morning all,

today's anecdote is about the time I bumped into a gentleman in a restaurant in downtown Hanoi.

He was a middle aged man and I was a young sprog who just moved to asia.

at that time I was a free agent and was still looking for a place to settle.

He was dressed well and seemed like he knew the ropes so I decided to strike up a conversation. 

Turns out he was from Cornwall and had just moved to Vietnam after 33 years in Thailand.

I pumped him for info all night and some of what he told me shocked me a little.

 

I had just visited Thailand for the first time at that point and had a real blast,

I was still well into the 'honeymoon' phase and hadn't (at that point) heard anything even remotely negative about the place.

that evening, all that was about to change.

I asked him why did he leave Thailand?

It took him a while to answer but finally he did.

what he said was that living in Thailand for 33 years had turned him into a misanthrope.

he was now avoiding all contact with people and only talked to me as I reminded him of his son.

He asked me what was I doing all the way out here when I should be back in the UK playing footie with the lads and chasing tail

I told him I was after some adventure that back home could not offer me.

he said that's fine, but please don't make the same mistake that he made. 

He said have fun, fill your boots but do not live there.

No good will come of it.

 

At that time I thought he was mad, which he may well have been.

But his words now have some resonance with me.

He may have been right.

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

but it sure is interesting as I seem to be heading down the exact same path as the elderly man from cornwall.

 

Do any of you have similar experiences as myself or the man from cornwall? 

..somethings missing in your and you're allowing depression to take over..get on top of it. But you are still here and the Hanoi guy isn't.

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19 hours ago, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

Indeed. I’ve worked with a lot old folks back in the States, and eventually got a similar spiel from them.

 

Why are you wasting your time with that? It doesn’t pay well, it’s a scam. Stay away from women, they’re all out to get you. Never get married, you’re bound to lose in the end. Never drink, you’ll become a raging alcoholic. Don’t see a doctor for that, what do they know? Oh, you’ve been to that place (in the States)? Nothing but crazies there. You should find Jesus, he saved me. Or don’t find Jesus, it’s a cult. Yadda yadda.

 

I suppose they might mean well. What you’re hearing each time they do this are their own tales of woe, the missteps they’ve taken, and they don’t want you down the same paths. But who knows, perhaps you’ll succeed where they have erred. And if you followed all their advice, you’d never do anything.

...seems to me the OP has succumbed to temptation and needs to regroup and resume his 'adventuring'.

 

 

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