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Kanada

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2 hours ago, Kanada said:

What an interesting comment!

I have found when you have some money you soon find it’s a short term answer to any problem!
It certainly does not trump your integrity or your reputation!

 

It's dog eat dog. If you have enough money nothing else matters.

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What you describe is more than FACE, you have described Thainess.  I would ask questions of my now Thai Ex-Wife when we were married, she would look at me and say "You have eyes, you can see, why ask the question"  The same as when we would be driving and I would ask her something while I was looking down the road and driving the vehicle, sometimes I never heard a word, and if I happened to fail to turn my head and miss the blinking of her eyes, her way of answering, and when I asked her the same question again she would sternly make the same statement again "You have eyes you can see".  Never learned.  It would cause me great consternation sometimes when she would not talk for many days.....lol

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20 minutes ago, bermondburi said:

Yes, you are fortunate. One of the lucky ones privileged by the fortune of your birthplace.

 

I would suggest that 99.9% of most people's problems are caused by the lack of money. That you have found differently is indeed your good fortune. 

I understand but I wasn’t born with a crooked spine or missing limbs or deaf or mute or lost my parents early in life or any of a hundred other things that money has little effect on.....It’s way down the list on the top 10 important things in life....

Unfortunately many use it as a measuring stick for themselves...

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1 hour ago, ThailandRyan said:

What you describe is more than FACE, you have described Thainess.  I would ask questions of my now Thai Ex-Wife when we were married, she would look at me and say "You have eyes, you can see, why ask the question"  The same as when we would be driving and I would ask her something while I was looking down the road and driving the vehicle, sometimes I never heard a word, and if I happened to fail to turn my head and miss the blinking of her eyes, her way of answering, and when I asked her the same question again she would sternly make the same statement again "You have eyes you can see".  Never learned.  It would cause me great consternation sometimes when she would not talk for many days.....lol

Haha I run into that at times too....it’s maddening....seems we’re used to long conversations and Thais are just well.        “not”!

As you mentioned former wife I take it you didn’t just “shut the h””” up”????

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1 hour ago, Kanada said:

I understand but I wasn’t born with a crooked spine or missing limbs or deaf or mute or lost my parents early in life or any of a hundred other things that money has little effect on.....It’s way down the list on the top 10 important things in life....

Unfortunately many use it as a measuring stick for themselves...

99.9% of people's problems don't include crooked spines and the like.

 

Consider yourself fortunate that it's way down your list. Billions would love to be in your position.

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7 hours ago, Lacessit said:

IMO the easiest way to avoid face issues in Thailand is to be non-confrontational.

There are times one has to go with the flow when it's official. OTOH, I get bad service or a dud product, I walk away, and never go back.

100%....???? a cool and level head

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8 hours ago, bermondburi said:

99.9% of people's problems don't include crooked spines and the like.

 

Consider yourself fortunate that it's way down your list. Billions would love to be in your position.

I worked hard for many years to raise four sons and get them all educated and on their way....it took money of course and lots of it but mostly what they needed was my time to build their confidence and keep them moving in the right direction.

I worked for the “attaboys” I’m embarrassed to say...(I was a little short of those growing up)...the money just came!
It was never my reason for getting up in the morning!!

 

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10 hours ago, bermondburi said:

Yes, you are fortunate. One of the lucky ones privileged by the fortune of your birthplace.

 

I would suggest that 99.9% of most people's problems are caused by the lack of money. That you have found differently is indeed your good fortune. 

I was born in one of the best countries in the world....grew up on a great farm full of animals and John Deere equipment) with parents that disliked each other intensely...good friends...great cars (it was the ‘60’s)...mediocre education and a $5. allowance...good in school and sports....happy as hell

Not a bit of it was perfect and no one worked harder than I did

 

I took advantage of it all....sad to say many of my friends didn’t and they’re still running around looking for money and happiness!

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On 5/15/2021 at 11:06 AM, Kanada said:

Thais take Face to the next level where they will say Yes even when they mean No i

That is not face, but trying to avoid confrontation... confrontation provokes anger and anger is not cool... 

 

For many, a direct "NO" is impolite so they try and work around it if they can [mai chai = not yes].. some will agree w/you just not to be confrontational...

 

And losing face is very important in the West too... if you look for it... my father in his late 80s would be asleep in front of the TV 95% of the time... the phone would ring and he would tell whoever - "I have been very busy" - because in that world - being busy = important and productive and that is cool... sleeping in front of the tv all day would be a loss of 'face' - for him. You might find it overlaps w/pride. 

 

For your relations w/Thai there will likely be a sliding scale... you wife might be more direct w/you than a stranger who will agree with anything as they can walk away w/o conflict or concern... 

 

There are alot of fine lines in this subject matter... 

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unfortunately here and in other close by countries its an expression of most things negative.an inability to listen and learn,always be right even though your obviously not and poorly educated in many cases.trying to help people better themselves and learn is usually taken onboard gratefully but.......apologising when wrong or mistaken is a character plus not a minus.arrogance ...yes call it as it is,just look at the illustrious ruling classes!lying!well if thats your thing!

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Ok yes Thais hate losing face, but neither do farangs, and sometimes Thais enjoy seeing farangs lose face, and for no reason except that they don't like farangs. A lot of Thai Face is due to Thai vanity. What goes around, comes around.

Edited by Card
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35 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

You really have issues, try to focus on the topic.

The topic is losing face.

 

Often happens when people just can't face up to the reality of a situation, or someone else points out the reality which then causes loss of face.

 

Something that not only affects Thais it seems.

 

 

Edited by RobMuir
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