How To Stop Thai Girl From Contact My Husband

[nothailady]

I've just recently found out that my husband got to know this thai lady a yr ago from his last trip to Phuket.. since then they have been communicating via email. Althought they have not met since then but this girl had been very initiative expressive in her mails till now, expressing her love for him, Anyone can advise me how can I stop this without having confrontation?

Or if someone happen to know girl by the name of jeab <edit>, please advise her to wake up from her unrealistic dream...

Edited June 26, 2007 by Totster
Removed family name

[wolfmanjack]

I guess you have been reading the emails. Does she know he is married ? If not then letting her know might put an end to it.

If she knows then he probably told her that your marriage was on the rocks, etc, etc, etc.

By the way, I think Jeap would be a nickname not her real name.

[sbk]

Agree with wolfmanjack. Assuming this is real, Email her yourself and tell her that he is married and she isn't likely to get any money out of him.

And then sit down with your husband and find out why he feels the need to cheat on his wife.

[chinthee]

I would only add that before you accuse him of actually cheating you should dig deeper. Some men just have contact with these women for titilation, but don't actually act on this.

I know some will laugh at this, but it does happen. I had a friend like this who flirted with every girl he ever met, but stayed true to his wife.

[qualtrough]

I've just recently found out that my husband got to know this thai lady a yr ago from his last trip to Phuket.. since then they have been communicating via email. Althought they have not met since then but this girl had been very initiative expressive in her mails till now, expressing her love for him, Anyone can advise me how can I stop this without having confrontation?

Or if someone happen to know girl by the name of jeab <edit>, please advise her to wake up from her unrealistic dream...

You say her dream is unrealistic, but your concerns indicate that you fear that that might not be the case. From what you have written it sounds as if your husband may want to be in communication with her. If that is the case, there would be little you can do to stop her from contacting him one way or the other. Shouldn't you be talking to your husband about this so that he can put a stop to it?

Edited June 26, 2007 by qualtrough

[funfun]

I've just recently found out that my husband got to know this thai lady a yr ago from his last trip to Phuket.. since then they have been communicating via email. Althought they have not met since then but this girl had been very initiative expressive in her mails till now, expressing her love for him, Anyone can advise me how can I stop this without having confrontation?

Or if someone happen to know girl by the name of jeab <edit>, please advise her to wake up from her unrealistic dream...

Edited June 26, 2007 by Boo
removed unhelpful post

[sbk]

I would only add that before you accuse him of actually cheating you should dig deeper. Some men just have contact with these women for titilation, but don't actually act on this.

I know some will laugh at this, but it does happen. I had a friend like this who flirted with every girl he ever met, but stayed true to his wife.

Emotional cheating is just as bad or worse as physical cheating in my book.

[Simmo]

I'd say it's more likely she's a bar girl and her email is a standard template she mass mails out to her john's.

[eek]

What does your husband say about it all? Did he know you/married to you when he first got to know her a year ago?

I would say find out what his side of it all is. He really ought to be the one to put an end to it to be honest, but maybe send her an email written by both of you or from yourself after your husband has written to ask her to stop contacting him.

If he is unwilling to do so after you explain that its upsetting you, even if its so-called 'harmless' contact, then have a good think as to why he is happy to let it go on. In my opinion he would not be showing you much respect.

The onus should lie with him more than her and you in ending this.

[wolfmanjack]

I would only add that before you accuse him of actually cheating you should dig deeper. Some men just have contact with these women for titilation, but don't actually act on this.

I know some will laugh at this, but it does happen. I had a friend like this who flirted with every girl he ever met, but stayed true to his wife.

Emotional cheating is just as bad or worse as physical cheating in my book.

So you are saying that if you came home and found your husband in bed with another woman would not be as bad as coming home and finding your husband having cyber sex ????

[wolfmanjack]

I think when she says without confrontation she is meaning confrontation with her husband. My guess is she is secretly reading his emails and she does not want him to find out.

[sbk]

I'd kill him if I found him in bed with another woman. Problem solved

But lets face it, sex, is, for alot of men, simply physical. And its possible to repair a tattered marriage if the sex was meaningless. But if he was actually infatuated with the other woman, well then, there isn't much to fix, is there?

Anyway, the point of the OP's post is that her husband is carrying on a clandestine emotional affair over the internet with a Thai woman whom he presumably has had sex with and she is, considering how these things usually go, just interested in how much money he can send her.

And you know what, if a man is cheating on his wife then he has to take the chance that she will figure out something is up and read his emails. Liars will get caught.

If it were me, I would let the girl know she isn't going to be getting any money and then let him know I knew he was cheater and to get into marriage counselling immediately. After, of course, test for STD's.

Why some men can't learn to think with their big heads, I will never understand.

[chinthee]

Nothailady,

It may be helpful for members to give you some advice to know if you are living in Thailand or elsewhere, and does your husband have business or other reasons for frequent travel to Phuket or Thailand if abroad?

The reason I ask this is because if not, this "infatuation" may just die out if addressed properly.

[Erwin1011]

What is the correct English term for a female Troll ?

[chuchok]

Why some men can't learn to think with their big heads, I will never understand.

Same reason why men don't understand women sbk.

[cmsally]

What is the correct English term for a female Troll ?

Trollette

[wolfmanjack]

I'd kill him if I found him in bed with another woman. Problem solved

But lets face it, sex, is, for alot of men, simply physical. And its possible to repair a tattered marriage if the sex was meaningless.

It isn't very easy to repair if he is dead. Also I don't think any sex is meaningless. Real or virtual. I am 100% monogamous in both cases but there have been occasions where i could have very easily had sex with a 0% chance of getting caught. I just don't think i would be able to look at myself in the mirror afterwards. I know this is not the case for many men and women out there.

But if he was actually infatuated with the other woman, well then, there isn't much to fix, is there?

My opinion differs on this. Many married people are infatuated with others and it does not harm the marriage. Infatuation is not love and it usually does not last very long. My guess is with all of the chat features available many people are getting infatuated with people they have never met before. I hear about so many people supposedly "falling in love" over chat that it baffles me. I do not call it love when someone has never met. I call this infatuation that may or may not lead to love if the two ever meet. For me the infatuation would be easier to forgive than the sexual act. We are human beings and as such should be able to control our desires.

Anyway, the point of the OP's post is that her husband is carrying on a clandestine emotional affair over the internet with a Thai woman whom he presumably has had sex with and she is, considering how these things usually go, just interested in how much money he can send her.

You are probably right but I think the topic of which is worse, emotional or physical "sex" is a good discussion. I think many people may find themselves in the situation where their husband or wife has been contacted through one of the chat features and has developed an emotional connection of some sort with someone else.

And you know what, if a man is cheating on his wife then he has to take the chance that she will figure out something is up and read his emails. Liars will get caught.

Hey! I am with you on the killing of the unfaithful partner. I was making the point that many posters were telling her to confront her husband and she mentioned in her OP that she wanted to avoid a confrontation with ( I assume) her husband. I will also guess that the reason she does not want to let him know that she is reading his emails is so that she can continue to do so in the future.

If it were me, I would let the girl know she isn't going to be getting any money and then let him know I knew he was cheater and to get into marriage counselling immediately. After, of course, test for STD's.

Why some men can't learn to think with their big heads, I will never understand.

I think the number of women that cheat on their husbands is about equal to the number of men that cheat on their wives. I am doing some searching to find some data on this.

[bendix]

As a rule, i would say that it would be next to impossible to have an 'innocent' relationship with someone called jeab who he met on holiday in Phuket.

Here's the rub.

Your husband went for a sneaky shagfest to Phuket. Blah blah blah, it happens. You let him. More fool you.

Then the silly idiot gave his contact details to one of the fair daughters of isaan he met and 'enjoyed' there. More fool him.

As someone said, if you sent email to her, she probably wouldnt be able to read it anyway. The emails she sent your husband arent for him especially - they will be a standard email that she sends to anyone foolish enough to leave a contact address. Frankly, it's highly likely she can't even read the email she is sending; she will likely have bought it from the resident 'email-writer' in a Patong netcafe.

Trying to engage her in a discussion would be farcical (although it would make for the plot of a great short story - memo to self).

Ignore her. Even if she could understand your reply, she wouldnt care. She probably can't even remember your husband.

My advice. Cut your husband's dick off.

[wolfmanjack]

As a rule, i would say that it would be next to impossible to have an 'innocent' relationship with someone called jeab who he met on holiday in Phuket.

Here's the rub.

Your husband went for a sneaky shagfest to Phuket. Blah blah blah, it happens. You let him. More fool you.

Then the silly idiot gave his contact details to one of the fair daughters of isaan he met and 'enjoyed' there. More fool him.

As someone said, if you sent email to her, she probably wouldnt be able to read it anyway. The emails she sent your husband arent for him especially - they will be a standard email that she sends to anyone foolish enough to leave a contact address. Frankly, it's highly likely she can't even read the email she is sending; she will likely have bought it from the resident 'email-writer' in a Patong netcafe.

Trying to engage her in a discussion would be farcical (although it would make for the plot of a great short story - memo to self).

Ignore her. Even if she could understand your reply, she wouldnt care. She probably can't even remember your husband.

My advice. Cut your husband's dick off.

Then flush it down the toilet.

[PlainJane]

Leave your cheating husband.

If he'll do it once, he'll do it twice, then he'll do it over and over again! He is not worth it.

Cheating is not only intercourse, but it also involves breach of trust, knowingly making a fool of you. He has been cheating on you. Don't stick around. People like him ain't worth a ######.

If he didn't cheat on you, this sort of letter(s) won't be floating around. I doubt that the girl knows he's married, or maybe he told her some lie about your marriage as being on the rocks.

[PhilHarries]

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer is he? He's having this cyber affair with a loose tart he met on a "business trip" and he's storing the e mails on, presumably, the home computer.

You mention her e mails to him. Have you seen any of his to her? Is it a one or a two way street?

If there are outbound e mails in his sent folder and they support the mutual attraction theory then the best thing is to follow PlainJane's and/or Bendix's advice above.

If there are no outbound e mails in his sent folder there are three possibilities.

1. There is two way traffic but he's smart enough to delete them from his sent folder - unlikely given that he's dumb enough to keep the incomings - then follow the advice above.

2. There is two way traffic but the e mail system doesn't automatically save sent e mails and he hasn't figured out how to do it - entirely possible given that he's dumb enough to keep the incomings - then follow the advice above.

3. It's all one way traffic and she can't read his replies telling her to clear off and she keeps punting out these mail shots to all her customers hoping for a positive reply and a Western Union MTCN. In this case all is well and you can apologise for cutting his dick off and, provided you haven't flushed it down the bog, it can be reattached. I believe Thailand leads the world in penis reattachment surgery, other forum members can probably give you the number of a good hospital in Phuket.

You could set yourself up an anonymous hotmail account and send him an e mail along the lines of "You don't know me but I know you and what you were getting up to in Phuket last year. Pack it in or my next e mail goes to your wife".

Alternatively you could be just another troll in which case congratulations you've wasted fifteen minutes of my life but it was mildly entertaining.

[oxymoron]

What is the correct English term for a female Troll ?

Is it Troll_op ????

[garro]

I find it strange that you are jealous enough to read his emails but not jealous enough to stop him going to Thailand by himself.

[bernie66]

1. Respond to her next letter with one of the following responses, pretending to be your husband..

Dear Jeab,

My wife has been reading my E-mail. She has read your letters and some from other woman I have been seeing. We are having a hard time working this out but we have agreed to try. I love my wife and I am going to stop contacting you and the other woman I have been seeing. Thank you for everything but please do not respond or try to contact me anymore.

Take care of yourself,

Jhon the married guy

Spend a couple of days getting to his mail before he has a chance to read her responses and delete them.

Dear Jeab,

I care for you dearly but there is something I must tell you. I can't keep this from you because I have the utmost respect for you and love you dearly. I have been getting sick lately. This month has been the worst. My wife convinced me to go to the hospital because of a very high temperature I was running. I went to the Hospital where they informed me that I have contracted HIV. To make things worst I gave it to my wife and she is not taking it to well. The doctors have given her medication to calm her down but I fear she might try to kill herself. I have no Idea where I got it and I feel it is the right thing to do to try and contact every body I have slept with. This will be difficult as I do not think I contracted the disease from a woman. I always used condoms when I slept with women. And I have no idea how to find the men I have been with. And their were some nights I was so drunk I don't know what happened to me. Please be careful and don't make the same mistakes with your life that I have made.

I will love you always,

Jhon the dying guy

I don't think she will be responding to this one but best to check..55555555

2 Make another email account using his name. Send her a letter pretending to be your husband. Saying that you think you wife is reading your e-mail and give her the new e-mail address. Use this to find out where she works and go give her the beating she diserves..

3 I could be wrong but I believe there are some pretty serious Thai laws that enable you to file a lawsuit or have her arrested. See a lawyer and send the bill to your husband after it is over. And never tell him how you found out.

4 Show him the letters and tell him your going to jump in bed with the next guy you get the chance with.You will do to him the same thing he is doing to you and your not going to tell him. In the future you will know he is cheating on you because he will act as if you are cheating on him.Good luck, but I do believe only violent confrontation will guarantee that he wont do it again.

Edited June 26, 2007 by bernie66

[LaoPo]

1. I'd kill him if I found him in bed with another woman. Problem solved

2. But lets face it, sex, is, for alot of men, simply physical. And its possible to repair a tattered marriage if the sex was meaningless. But if he was actually infatuated with the other woman, well then, there isn't much to fix, is there?

Anyway, the point of the OP's post is that her husband is carrying on a clandestine emotional affair over the internet with a Thai woman whom he presumably has had sex with and she is, considering how these things usually go, just interested in how much money he can send her.

And you know what, if a man is cheating on his wife then he has to take the chance that she will figure out something is up and read his emails. Liars will get caught.

If it were me, I would let the girl know she isn't going to be getting any money and then let him know I knew he was cheater and to get into marriage counselling immediately. After, of course, test for STD's.

3. Why some men can't learn to think with their big heads, I will never understand.

1. But the problem is not solved for you, sbk, if you'd kill him...I hear that Thai prisons for women are not really a 5* hotel; better pack your bags instead of killing him. Hypothetical speaking of course.

2. sex is also physical for -a lot of- women...(some) women do cheat also...

3. (some) women also think with their.....

LaoPo

[garro]

All the blame seems to be directed at the husband and some girl he met on holiday. It should be obvious that it can't be much of a marriage if the wife is sneaking around behind the husbands back and checking his emails. Maybe he left the emails to check on her sneaky ways. Trust is very important in a relationship.

Perhaps the wife should see the signs; even though he may not have found Miss right this time he is certainly on the look out for her.

BTW, Bernie66, HIV is quite a serious issue and telling someone that they could possibly be infected (when the aren't) is not only a sign of a deranged lunatic but also illegal.

Edited June 26, 2007 by garro

[darkside]

What is the correct English term for a female Troll ?

Trollette????

[TanjaB]

Dear Jeab,I care for you dearly but there is something I must tell you. I can't keep this from you because I have the utmost respect for you and love you dearly. I have been getting sick lately. This month has been the worst. My wife convinced me to go to the hospital because of a very high temperature I was running. I went to the Hospital where they informed me that I have contracted HIV. To make things worst I gave it to my wife and she is not taking it to well. The doctors have given her medication to calm her down but I fear she might try to kill herself. I have no Idea where I got it and I feel it is the right thing to do to try and contact every body I have slept with. This will be difficult as I do not think I contracted the disease from a woman. I always used condoms when I slept with women. And I have no idea how to find the men I have been with. And their were some nights I was so drunk I don't know what happened to me. Please be careful and don't make the same mistakes with your life that I have made.

I will love you always,

Jhon the dying guy

I do have a sense of humour... but this is just wrong. Even if she knew he was married, and even IF she had a sexual relationship with him... she's not the one who betrayed the wife, that was all him. He did not have to go along with it. Making up a story like that is just evil minded and sick.

[bernie66]

All the blame seems to be directed at the husband and some girl he met on holiday. It should be obvious that it can't be much of a marriage if the wife is sneaking around behind the husbands back and checking his emails. Maybe he left the emails to check on her sneaky ways. Trust is very important in a relationship.

Perhaps the wife should see the signs; even though he may not have found Miss right this time he is certainly on the look out for her.

BTW, Bernie66, HIV is quite a serious issue and telling someone that they could possibly be infected (when the aren't) is not only a sign of a deranged lunatic but also illegal.

If they are innocent than their is no way she is infected that’s why I didn’t say "have yourself checked." so she will stay away because he has it. she is most likely a prostitute and needs to be checked anyway. And if she is not a prostitute it serves her right for messing around with a married man. This poor woman not only needs to stop her husband’s affair but she needs to feel like she got a little revenge to help her sleep at night. She needs to pull no punches. She needs to feel that she took control of the situation for her own well being. I have been where she is and I know how she feels. Concerning herself with the feelings of a woman screwing her husband is absurd. Oh hel_l no! your wrong not me.

[GuestHouse]

Print his emails, book a house party for his mates and then plaster the emails on the bathroom wall... with 'just enough' time for him to find them before his mates turn up.

Plaster up one sheet of paper with a big red border and the name card of a law firm stuck in the middle.

I say stick these in the bathroom because when he finds them he's gonna shit himself.