How To Stop Thai Girl From Contact My Husband

[canadiangirl]

To Notthailady

Your situation is a lot better than mine. They are only contact by e-mail. In my case, my husband is talking to the Thai girl in Phuket by phone. I'm Thai, He is Farang. They are talking to each other everyday. I've just found out about a month ago. I caught him. He's been unfaithful to me.

We went to do the Thai wedding in Fabuary this year, I was 3 months pregnant. So, I could not go on the trip with him & his family after the wedding. He went with his family to teh north an dteh South, and the last day he was supposed to come back to the US. He changed his mind, flying by himself to Phuket. He met that lady. She is assumed as a hooker, but he doesn't believe in that.

I told him I'm upset and asked him to stop talking to her. Guess what? He told me that he couldn't control himself. He turns out to be drinking a lot and stay out really late. He wants to move to thailand, saying that life is simple and he can makes money over there by having a small business in Phuket.

He's addicted to alcohol and affair. I can't help him. I have only a few weeks to go for my pregnancy. I'm focusing me and my baby. I can't deal with him anymore. He turns to be an ass to me.

So, it's hard when men is addiacted to those two things especially the affair. I have to be strong raising my baby in the US. Life is tough, but we can make it happy.

Hi saliSa12,

I am really sorry to hear about your husband. He sounds like a bad man! Do you have many friends and family in the U.S. to help you after the baby is born? I think maybe it could be good, as someone else said, if your mother could come visit, or if you could go stay with her, to have some help after your baby comes, as a new baby is a lot of work, and it doesn't sound like your husband is very much help. A new mother needs someone to take care of her while she is taking care of her baby.

But I think (and of course this is only my opinion, as you know your own situation best), that you should consider your marriage to be over, and focus on making a good life for you and your baby, wherever you have the most support from friends and family (whether in the U.S. or Thailand). Definitely look into getting child support from your husband. I think you are right that this situation is difficult, but that if you work hard, it can turn out to be happy for you and your child.

I hope the best for you and your baby. Chok dee!

[saliSa112]

To Canadiangirl

Thank you for the message.

Yeap, I consider my marriage is over. There is no use to be together anymore. I can't be with his drinking and talking on the phone with the other woman.

He has no respect on the marriage. If he did, he would not sleep with that lady on the trip that we went for the wedding. After he came back to the U.S.only a few months, he flew to sleep with her again.

I'm still in shock what happened to me. It's like..turning the switch on and off so quickly.

I'll have a few friends come to help me. I know it'll be tough, but I'll be fine.

[GracelessFawn]

Hang in there girl. When there's a need, there's a way. If you trully need something, you will get it. Look around you. People are not dying from hunger. That's a good sign. Please keep your spirit up.

I've been through a lot, especially after I ran-away from home, but life has taught me to cope and it made me understand that I'm always gonna be fine for as long as I don't give-up on things, as long as I work hard enough to get what I want.

[Naam]

i apologize for being rude, but... get rid of your husband and look for a nice guy.

[nothailady]

Hi saliSa

returned only today and saw your posting...

I guessed I have to agreed with Bendix, men are fools and should never be left unaccompanied to Thailand, Thailand is indeed an Unsupervised, unguarded Sweetshop...

We, women on the other hand thought we can faithfully trust these men whom we are married to but foolish of us.. Trust is always taken for granted but never appreciated..

As I put up I am still observing...In the recent emails i read, I found out that they were talking on the phone too and a big fool I am. COs it was going on for almost 1yr now before I discovered. He is using another phone line behind my back to communicate with her. Whether did he visit her again, probably not in Phuket as far as I know based on his travel records .But any other parts of thailand, seriously I have no ideas cos he does travel often to different part of thailand for biz. From the emails, I can tell the girl is agressive, every line is I love u and i miss you, I want to see u and stay with u blah blah blah... Someone suggested probably was written by some email writer in Patong beach, I think maybe it's true.

In fact, i started to check on him because I noticed his sudden liking in thai stuffs, listening to thai songs, visitin thai discos even back in our own country. Till now he isn't aware of my findings but lately I have dropped obvious hints regarding Spyware on computers, Infidelity and my personal prejudice on Thai girls (sorry is a personal thoughts, hope is no offence to anyone ). If he is smart enough, he should know which direction to head.

Come to think back, I was foolish to try to stop thing from happening. If this man thinks he enjoys and wants this kind of attention rather then cherish the loved ones at Home. Let him be and let him GO.. He will regret in a matter of time..

It is so unfair we get all the pains, drop tonnes of tears for their playful adventures. so saliSa, we should stay strong for ourselves and our babies. We must protect ourselves, our babies and be Good Mummies and we will get our fair treatment. Stay strong, be a happy mama, have a smooth delivery. cheers

[Johnny69]

There are definitely some disturbing comments and advice on this thread.

Killing the husband or cutting off his penis is domestic violence. If it was a women the suggested target of such reprisals then am sure they would be up in arms. Also a women (wife or otherwise) cannot control where her husband goes nor who he see's, this controlling of freedom is also covered under domestic violence. I am sure a women would not appreciate being controlled in such a way.

In the end all we can control is our own actions, not the actions of others, even our spouses. You cannot force someone to love you and be faithful. Infidelity is not a crime in Australia atleast. So all she can do is confront her husband and attempt to work it out, or divorce. Revenge will only eat away at you, the best revenge is living well.

Johnny69

[Johnny69]

Also I dont think just turfing out the man from his house is right either, it is both their residence. He has a right to be their too. But I noted the first thing someone asked if the girl moved out was who is going to pay all your bills. So the man appears to be nothing more than a walking ATM to some on here.

Here in Australia it would be much better to leave for the man, he would then only have to pay his child support, which would not cover much beyond her rent. So I think she may need to be a bit more diplomatic if she wants more support than that.

Johnny69

[sbk]

Johnny69, I think you need to develop your sense of humor. This is the women's forum and if you don't like the jokes that women tell to give each other comfort and support, then don't read them. But to take them seriously makes me wonder.

As for the idea that he only owes child support, again each person is entitled to their opinion but I am of the opinion that when a man cheats on his newly pregnant wife he should have some consideration for the woman who has sacrificed and the child he has procreated. Ensuring that his child by his legal wife has a decent home is the only thing a decent man could want for his family. But then, I guess, decent men don't think cheating on your pregnant wife is acceptable.

[a99az]

I've just recently found out that my husband got to know this thai lady a yr ago from his last trip to Phuket.. since then they have been communicating via email. Althought they have not met since then but this girl had been very initiative expressive in her mails till now, expressing her love for him, Anyone can advise me how can I stop this without having confrontation?

Or if someone happen to know girl by the name of jeab <edit>, please advise her to wake up from her unrealistic dream...

If it is an unrealistic dream... you have nothing to fear, if not you got to work hard on your love one. Best of luck to you both.

[Johnny69]

I don't find domestic violence against men or women funny at all. The support aspect is based on what a spouse has to legally pay, if your wife kicked you out I doubt many would pay more (directly to her anyway), the aditional needs of the child can be covered if the man so choses, but here in Australia he owes no support to his spouse at all. He is assessed for the childrens needs only (if they are indeed his at all). Every country is different.

I take it then that if this is a women forum that you would not be concerned if men had man only exclusive clubs? Just a thought.

Infidelity is not a crime, domeatic violence is. How many on here would find domestic violence towards women in a joke funny?

How about what do you tell a women with two black eyes?

Nothing you told her twice already.

Funny?

Johnny69, I think you need to develop your sense of humor. This is the women's forum and if you don't like the jokes that women tell to give each other comfort and support, then don't read them. But to take them seriously makes me wonder.

As for the idea that he only owes child support, again each person is entitled to their opinion but I am of the opinion that when a man cheats on his newly pregnant wife he should have some consideration for the woman who has sacrificed and the child he has procreated. Ensuring that his child by his legal wife has a decent home is the only thing a decent man could want for his family. But then, I guess, decent men don't think cheating on your pregnant wife is acceptable.

Edited July 13, 2007 by Johnny69

[sbk]

We've had this discussion about a men's forum already and you will not hijack the thread with your agenda here.

And how many times has someone said, "I'm going to kill him (her, whatever)" and you believed they meant it? If so, then you need to get a reality check on language.

Not sure why you are so fixated on Australia as neither poster with marital issues has ever stated she is residing in Australia. If they were, then perhaps your dogged persistence of bringing Australian law up would have some relevance, but for now, it doesn't.

I am not sure what your issues are here but may I suggest that if you have some relevant HELPFUL advice to offer then do so.

[Johnny69]

Not hijacking anything just raised a few points, as for my ref: to Aust, thats because its where I am. I don't think women are in any position to dictate what a decent or real man would do, as they have no practical experience to base it on, more so it just a ruse used to gain compliance from men.

But thats another story, peace out.

ame='sbk' date='2007-07-13 20:10:30' post='1416424']

We've had this discussion about a men's forum already and you will not hijack the thread with your agenda here.

And how many times has someone said, "I'm going to kill him (her, whatever)" and you believed they meant it? If so, then you need to get a reality check on language.

Not sure why you are so fixated on Australia as neither poster with marital issues has ever stated she is residing in Australia. If they were, then perhaps your dogged persistence of bringing Australian law up would have some relevance, but for now, it doesn't.

I am not sure what your issues are here but may I suggest that if you have some relevant HELPFUL advice to offer then do so.

Edited July 13, 2007 by Johnny69

[saliSa112]

Dear all;

Definitely, I have to leave my husband. Tonight, after he got loose, he told me that he is in love with that Phuket girl. He wants to leave for Thailand by the early next year. He's ready to go. What an evil.!!The baby will arrive in two weeks, he has already planned out to leave. What a wonderful father!! In a way, I'm glad that he'll leave, so I don't have to deal with him anymore.

He told me that he needs me to sign the paperwork saying that I wouldn't sue him for alimony. He said he didn't mind paying for child support, but he didn't want to do anything with me. Well, when men are in lust, Is it always like this?

Now, I know that I'm married with the evil. He didn't think about how we met at the university anymore. , Back then he always admired me that I value on education, family, etc. Now, he values simple life style in Phuket with teh hooker. that's sad.

[girlx]

don't worry, chances are he will feel really stupid down the road when he realized he gave up his family for a hooker and his bad karma hits. forget about him. take care of your baby and make a good life. success is the best revenge. good luck!

[Johnny69]

don't worry, chances are he will feel really stupid down the road when he realized he gave up his family for a hooker and his bad karma hits. forget about him. take care of your baby and make a good life. success is the best revenge. good luck!

He may regret the lost time and experiences with his child (you will never love your spouse as much as you do your own flesh and blood), but a wife or companion can easily be replaced. I guess it a matter of being true to himself, if its what he really wants then I guess he has to travel that road. Whether it turns out good or bad it is his bed and he will have to lie in it.

[saliSa112]

I don't know what happens to him, he is such an idiot. He makes pretty good money in the U.S. The job, he has, provides many good benefits including retirement plan. He's 34. How can he retire that young age? What can he do in Phuket beside being a pimp? He plans to open up a business over there and also wants to buy a house. He asked me if I can help him to buy property over there. He wants to put everything under my name. What an ass.

I'm glad he'll be gone. I want to tell that lady " welcome to the hel_l, thank you for taking over". I don't think anybody can be with him. He drinks a lot everyday, likes to party really hard. Once he's unfaithful to me, why can't he do it again with the other lady?

At this point, I don't really care what he wants to do or who he wants to be with. If he does move to Phuket, I'll be glad to get a full custody.

[mikethevigoman]

I've just recently found out that my husband got to know this thai lady a yr ago from his last trip to Phuket.. since then they have been communicating via email. Althought they have not met since then but this girl had been very initiative expressive in her mails till now, expressing her love for him, Anyone can advise me how can I stop this without having confrontation?

Or if someone happen to know girl by the name of jeab <edit>, please advise her to wake up from her unrealistic dream...

i feel your problem lies closer to home, he is to blame full stop, if he tells her he dosent want anything to do with her and he means it it will end, if it dosent and he hasnt/wont, therin lies your problem,

[mikethevigoman]

What is the correct English term for a female Troll ?

Trolless ? i was thinking the same

[mikethevigoman]

As a rule, i would say that it would be next to impossible to have an 'innocent' relationship with someone called jeab who he met on holiday in Phuket.

Here's the rub.

Your husband went for a sneaky shagfest to Phuket. Blah blah blah, it happens. You let him. More fool you.

Then the silly idiot gave his contact details to one of the fair daughters of isaan he met and 'enjoyed' there. More fool him.

As someone said, if you sent email to her, she probably wouldnt be able to read it anyway. The emails she sent your husband arent for him especially - they will be a standard email that she sends to anyone foolish enough to leave a contact address. Frankly, it's highly likely she can't even read the email she is sending; she will likely have bought it from the resident 'email-writer' in a Patong netcafe.

Trying to engage her in a discussion would be farcical (although it would make for the plot of a great short story - memo to self).

Ignore her. Even if she could understand your reply, she wouldnt care. She probably can't even remember your husband.

My advice. Cut your husband's dick off.

or neuter him, it stopped our dog shagging everything in sight and wondering off !

[mikethevigoman]

What is the correct English term for a female Troll ?

Is it Troll_op ????

TROLLOP ! love it ,my favourite so far ,..

[mikethevigoman]

I'd kill him if I found him in bed with another woman. Problem solved

Where I come from, it is legally acceptable to kill a husband/wife if you catch them having intercourse. You can get away with it. There might be a case against you, but if you could prove that you caught them having intercourse, the law won't send you to jail.

I would not even bother killing a cheating fool. A guy like that is not worth it! Why put blood in your hands for some fool? I'd kill to defend my family, I'd bury a body with my friends and bring a shovel (figuratively), but I wont dirty my hands with someone unworthy.

It is best to leave things to Karma.

totally agree, move on and wash your hands of it and hold your head up like you have just emptied a smelly bin,if you do anything stupid you will live to regret it as the easist option is to move on, i know i did it and considered the alternative,

[LaReina]

Also I dont think just turfing out the man from his house is right either, it is both their residence. He has a right to be their too. But I noted the first thing someone asked if the girl moved out was who is going to pay all your bills. So the man appears to be nothing more than a walking ATM to some on here.

Here in Australia it would be much better to leave for the man, he would then only have to pay his child support, which would not cover much beyond her rent. So I think she may need to be a bit more diplomatic if she wants more support than that.

Johnny69

Johnny.. lets put this all in perspective.

Lets make you feel a little bit more for the situation at hand. If your mother, had been pregnant (with you), and your dad had decided to cheat, break her heart and leave. That is fine. He is a man, and he deserves to be happy. Now honestly speaking, would you have expected your father to bail out on YOUR MOTHER, and not help her support herself, when she was in her final month of pregnancy. Full to the tilt. Waddling around. Hand on her back, just ready to pop you out. Can't see her feet, can't sleep well at night, but thrilled that she is having you.

Now honestly speaking, would you feel, that your father should leave her to fend for herself, not due to bad health, but just beacuse he has an itch. Bad enough that he is dumping your mother, but heck, after the birth, all alone, in some pain, with a new born child, her very first, no previous expereince. Sleepless nights, tending to you, worried about how she long it will take to get back on her feet, so that she can hit the road and start making money.

Ahh who will take care of you. A new born? All alone in the world, with only your mothers love.

Just exactly what would be your view of your father and what excatly would you have expected of him?

AHHH but in Australia, its okay. RIGHT!

I don't know what happens to him, he is such an idiot. He makes pretty good money in the U.S. The job, he has, provides many good benefits including retirement plan. He's 34. How can he retire that young age? What can he do in Phuket beside being a pimp? He plans to open up a business over there and also wants to buy a house. He asked me if I can help him to buy property over there. He wants to put everything under my name. What an ass.

I'm glad he'll be gone. I want to tell that lady " welcome to the hel_l, thank you for taking over". I don't think anybody can be with him. He drinks a lot everyday, likes to party really hard. Once he's unfaithful to me, why can't he do it again with the other lady?

At this point, I don't really care what he wants to do or who he wants to be with. If he does move to Phuket, I'll be glad to get a full custody.

Salisa: Actually I think I like your husband afterall. Forget about signing any paperwork. Hog wash. Tell him to let you be.

BUT! I think I like the idea of buying a house and putting it in your name, as long as you are not having to sign for a loan. If he can buy it on his own, in your name, then by all means. Let your child be able to have some property one day. This is not for you, let it be the one thing your childs father did, for your child.

[canadiangirl]

Salisa: Actually I think I like your husband afterall. Forget about signing any paperwork. Hog wash. Tell him to let you be.

BUT! I think I like the idea of buying a house and putting it in your name, as long as you are not having to sign for a loan. If he can buy it on his own, in your name, then by all means. Let your child be able to have some property one day. This is not for you, let it be the one thing your childs father did, for your child.

Haha la Reina, I think I agree with you. If he's stupid enough to treat her like this, and then think he should buy some property in her name, let him! I'm quite against ripping off people in general, but I think that a man who would abandon his pregnant wife two weeks before the birth in this way deserves anything he gets. And you're right, keep the property for the child.

[Nienke]

Salisa: Actually I think I like your husband afterall. Forget about signing any paperwork. Hog wash. Tell him to let you be.

BUT! I think I like the idea of buying a house and putting it in your name, as long as you are not having to sign for a loan. If he can buy it on his own, in your name, then by all means. Let your child be able to have some property one day. This is not for you, let it be the one thing your childs father did, for your child.

That could be a good option: investment for the child. But then make sure the land is somewhere where it can't be hit by a tsunami or something. On the other hand, if you do sign for land, and the hubby hits the brick wall and leaves, don't you need someone who will look after this land? Maybe something to consider as well. Or do I think too difficult, now?

[saliSa112]

That'll be nice if the Tsunami hit on the property that he pays for. That means God gives him the reward from his deed.

Whatever he wants to do, I can careless. I don't see him as a human anymore, he's an evil. How can he come talk to me that he wants a divorce when I'm ready about to have a baby in two weeks? Also, he wants to put up the baby for adoption. I don't know what part of his brain he used. Thai people will say

" he use his foot not his brain". (As you know Thai people believe that foot is the lowest part of the body, it show disrespect or ignorance).

He wants a divorce really bad, so he can take off to Thailand to live with the girl in Phuket.

He told me he's in love. Yeah right, how can someone say he/she is in love after they meet only twice? in love or in lust, give me a break.

He wants a divorce. Yeah, I'll give him one.. a very good one.

I'm turning myself to be more American girl not Thai girl anymore. I'm more assertive now, not shy and submissive like a typical Thai girl anymore.

[LaReina]

Do not LOOOOOOSE yourself, nor what makes you a special person.

Do not become jaded nor bitter from this experience.

Stay like a Thai girl, be sweet and smile, and think only of the positive things in life and all that you should be grateful for everyday. Your health, your baby, a roof over your head.

DO NOT loose yourself, because once you do, it is hard to come back.

Trust me, I turned the mean swtich on, and I have been looking for months but I can't find the switch to turn it off again.

[sbk]

baiting is against the rules. Lets try to keep this on topic and with some helpful responses. Posts have been deleted. Do not repost such attempts at baiting again or you will find yourself suspended

[Boo]

you beat me to it sbk & agree 100%. Next time anyone tries to post with their own pointless agenda will be on the receiving end of break from thaivisa.

[britmaveric]

don't worry, chances are he will feel really stupid down the road when he realized he gave up his family for a hooker and his bad karma hits.

Or he may be very happy for the first time in his life. Give the lad credit least he is in the open now and ending things with his wife.

[bruceboy]

What good could come out of leaving one's family for a hooker?