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BANGKOK 26 May 2019 10:03
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macb

What Do I Do

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This will come as a surprise to lots of members and friends on here :

But last Saturday my wife announced she was fed up with me and wants to leave, and leave me with the daughter :

The Sunday morning I said are you in the same frame of mind she said yes, things have not been as they should be for sometime although a front has been put on by her when friends visit.

Well I took pics of my daughter showered packed a case and said I am going away, she said you cant, I hugged my little daughter and left, I met my pal Mervyn in Pattaya and had lots of Support from friends down there :

I have returned today, my daughter looked well, but my house is dirty and had to clean the kitchen she spoke not a word ( I was informed by my good friend Ron) that her mother had been yak yaking her saying she has it very good as I do everything she told her mother I was boring : I eventually said well what about last weekened verbal she said stay for your daughter:

Well yes now it all comes out I build a lovely house truck m/c give her gold etc etc : But I over the last months even longer don't feel loved and certainly not being cared for. Yes since we been in village I do cleaning laundry and most of the time cook for myself

I went up to bed but cannot sleep my wife sleeps downstairs with the daughter to much on my mind : I would not have returned from Pattaya but did for my daughter:

I feel as if this has all been planned :

We have been together 3 yrs but now I think about things, I see the things that are not there, caring loving . I cant live in this situation. I discovered the difference over the past few days between 28 yrs old and 35 yr old I was given more love and attention that was not there and never has been there in this relationship, now what do I do, I got to find my happiness and someone to care about me before the twilight years but what about my daughter

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Well yes now it all comes out I build a lovely house truck m/c give her gold etc etc : But I over the last months even longer don't feel loved and certainly not being cared for. Yes since we been in village I do cleaning laundry and most of the time cook for myself
I feel as if this has all been planned

Sorry to hear that.

Unfortunately(for the farang) it happens all the time once the house is built.

What an ungrateful, lazy *****. Get out and cut your losses and look for a decent lady.

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really sad to hear this macb, is there any way you can take your daughter to Pattaya & find a nanny to help you take care of her whilst you get back on your feet, as it sounds (unless I have read wrong) that your wife wants you to take control of the baby?

I hope whatever you do you manage to find a reasonable solution & that your daughter takes priority for both of you over any issues you may have together.

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Very sad, the most important one here is the baby . Very difficult situation, but don't make any hasty decisions. Sorry to say that this 'reeks' of a Thai boyfriend Mac! Whatever, it is your daughters future welfare that is the main issue. I wish you well & hope you can sort everything out & remember, every cloud supposedly has a silver lining.

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Very sad, the most important one here is the baby . Very difficult situation, but don't make any hasty decisions. Sorry to say that this 'reeks' of a Thai boyfriend Mac! Whatever, it is your daughters future welfare that is the main issue. I wish you well & hope you can sort everything out & remember, every cloud supposedly has a silver lining.

Agreed :o

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Very sad, the most important one here is the baby . Very difficult situation, but don't make any hasty decisions. Sorry to say that this 'reeks' of a Thai boyfriend Mac! Whatever, it is your daughters future welfare that is the main issue. I wish you well & hope you can sort everything out & remember, every cloud supposedly has a silver lining.

Agreed :o

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We have been together 3 yrs but now I think about things, I see the things that are not there, caring loving .

True love doesn't end after three years unless there was some monumental issue that extinguished the flame. If there was no issue, then you would have to wonder if genuine love existed in the first place.

The only advice that I can give you is to clear your head, forget what might have been, examine your current situation realistically, weigh up your limited options and act decisively.

Good luck.

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Sorry to hear that you are having a bad time macb.

I know that this will sound like a platitude but the tide always come back.

Things happen for a reason and life must go on.

In a few years down the line what is happening now will make more sense.

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But last Saturday my wife announced she was fed up with me and wants to leave, and leave me with the daughter :

Look on the bright side. She wants to leave, thereby presumably leaving you in the house. Stay on in the home, employ someone locally to help with the house and daughter (local labour is cheap as you know) and then in time look around locally for a new companion. Your many friends in the area can no doubt introduce you to suitable women in their extended families.

In law, if you divorce, the home is split 50/50 - she doesn't get it all as many people think. Realistically you might get more, if the reason for the split was caused by her unfaithfullness and by virtue of the fact that you might raise your daughter.

Good luck

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Well now she is telling me to stay for the daughter:

In UK it would be divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour: ie I have been the fetch and carry or the maid:

I dont think she has ever loved me now that I look it the marriage from the outside : I think I did far to much to quickly :

Financially I can live else where ( So much for me having a big heart)

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macb, sorry to hear of your plight and best wishes for the future whatever that may hold.

But, first you say she want to leave then you say she want you to stay for your daughter. You, in your confused state, may have erroneously stated the situation but assuming the statements are correct I would say she is going through some kind of lifestyle crisis and may snap out of it with or without help.

The alternative is, as has been inferred, she has aquired her target possessions and want to lose the baggage (sorry for the insensitive terminology).

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Well now she is telling me to stay for the daughter:

In UK it would be divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour: ie I have been the fetch and carry or the maid:

I dont think she has ever loved me now that I look it the marriage from the outside : I think I did far to much to quickly :

Financially I can live else where ( So much for me having a big heart)

You're in a difficult situation.

First your wife wants to leave you and you to take care of the baby (10 months old, right?). Now she wants you to stay.

Hmmm, very difficult since 'love' and caring in the marriage is gone-with-the-wind so to speak.

Could it be she is suffering from a post-natal depression (maybe without realizing it) ?

Think and act careful but you have to think about yourself also....I'm sure you will take care of the future of your daughter but she has a longer life in front of her than you.

LaoPo

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Hi Mac

I am very sorry to hear about your present situation. Although we have never met, I can see by your posts that you are a good,reliable, thoughtful person. You will hopefully get some good advice from good friends here and I hope you can keep a clear mind (most of the time) to make very important decisions about the future. I hope you will be attending the FC xmas bash, cos it would be a pleasure to meet you.

I went thru hel_l and high water a few years ago and thats why I am very grateful for wot I'v got now. I'v learnt from it and am a better person,in a better situation now. You will be too, I know its hard to imagine right now and I actually went a bit doo-lally. I even gave up drink for about six months :o cos I thought it would get me into more trouble.

I hope to meet you some day and my door is always open for friends. Come on down

Kind Regards

David

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Hi Mac

I am very sorry to hear about your present situation. Although we have never met, I can see by your posts that you are a good,reliable, thoughtful person. You will hopefully get some good advice from good friends here and I hope you can keep a clear mind (most of the time) to make very important decisions about the future. I hope you will be attending the FC xmas bash, cos it would be a pleasure to meet you.

I went thru hel_l and high water a few years ago and thats why I am very grateful for wot I'v got now. I'v learnt from it and am a better person,in a better situation now. You will be too, I know its hard to imagine right now and I actually went a bit doo-lally. I even gave up drink for about six months :o cos I thought it would get me into more trouble.

I hope to meet you some day and my door is always open for friends. Come on down

Kind Regards

David

Oh Dear Mac

Sorry to read your post and don't know what to say that has not already been said.

Dave the Dudes post sums it up and is sound advice. Be strong and don't rush things

TBWG :D

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Hello Mac,

I am very sorry to hear your news. We have not met although I feel I know you quite well through your many postings on this forum. I have no words of wisdom for you although I will say something very similar happened to me some five years ago although their were no children involved. I lost the lost the lot, house and car included! Now four years on I have been very happily married for over three years and we have a lovely 2 1/2 year old daughter too. We have a very loving relationship and that has helped us overcome our recent tradegy. Sadly, my wife has just mis-carried child No.2 (at 11 weeks) and we are in the process of picking up the mental pieces and carrying on. There is no moral to this story - just the wish that things work out as well for you as they have done for me. Good luck and good wishes.

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