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BANGKOK 24 May 2019 15:56
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Mikenmod

Dowry In Rural Issan

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Also, the term 'love' to me is defined VERY DIFFERENTLY in Thailand than in the West. I've found most Thai women don't 'fall in love' the way Western women do. Instead, it's a feeling that grows over time as the man provides support for the wife/family over time. Only by helping the wife's family over time (starting with sinsod) does the Thai wife understand/realize how much the man loves her and she returns that love in kind.

Your observation is definitely spot on. However, I'd like to add that it's true only because the Thai women have had double standards with the way the term "love" is defined. Thai women do fall in love "pretty fast" in pretty much the same manner as Western women, but only with Thai men. Thai women will talk bad about Thai men, that they're lazy and irresponsible etc. They complain, but at the same time they willingly toll their fragile bodies under the scorching afternoon heat to help make end meets. Thai women love without asking for any in return, but the Thai men continue to lace around and spend more than they earn.

It's only with Farangs and Tangchak that they Thai women would have you believe that marriage is a union of two families, and in order to integrate into their families, the Farang or Tangchak husbands would have to "support" the Baan. If only they had applied the principles onto their Thai boyfriends, you wouldn't be witnessing so many single parents and jerks around.

The poorer Thais have a "crutch mentality" and this not helped by the discriminating policies of the Rattabaan. I had a Thai local guide who brought me to Khao Yai National Park. He paid 40 baht as official entrance fee; I paid 400 baht. When I related this incident to my Thai acquaintances, they told me it was only right because "Farangs and Tangchaks are rich". That was their justification. It's not the Thais who are privileged and asked to pay less; it's the Farangs and Tangchaks who are "penalized" for being rich.

The double standards will continue. We can continue to kid ourselves by thinking that if we work hard and shower the Thai women with financial support and love, eventually they will reciprocate because it's part of the culture that Thai women are "shy" and "slow" when expressing their love and emotions. At least we don't feel stupid by thinking along that line. It's a cleverly contrived "culture" that the Thai women would like you to believe in the way it's presented as a deep-rooted culture. In the same way that we don't feel stupid thinking in that direction, it also goes a long way to allaying their fear of "losing face" while families and relatives continue to live off their more affluent Farang relatives.

Of course there are always exceptions. It's an observation that by no means defines "every" Thai woman. And you should continue to believe that while the facts may be similar, your encounter is more likely the exception. My advice is believe in anything that makes you feel good.

What is Rattabaan?

Thanks

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What is Rattabaan?

Thanks

รัฐบาล rát-tà-baan government

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I know a farang from this area who just got married. I won't call him a friend because I don't particularly like the guy. He paid 100,000 baht and never blinked an eye. His new bride is 22 years old, never been married and doesn't speak a word of English. He's in his mid 40's. His previous wife ran off with another farang. I didn't really blame her. :o

Make her pregnant every year,give her the bare minimum to feed herself and the children,beat her every time she speak to a male outside the family,or beat her just for the sake of it;she'll never run away! :D

Sh*t,can't do it,am not Thai,only a farang! :D

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In the past 2 years, I've heard many stories about Issan weddings. I've been warned by many who've left broken hearted and broke.

But I will tie the knot with a fine lady of 30, a graduate of Ubon Ratchisima University, who worked as a quality control specialist at cpk, earning 18K bhat per month, a decent salary. She's a virgin. Is that really possible? Are women like this real?

Knowing that many a farang has settled in Issan with their love, I'd appreciate your stories and advise. Especially about dowry, gold Bhat, and wedding costs. If Dad gets a dowry, is that it? Or am I expected to help the family with each "emergency"?

Maybe this issue has been discussed many times before, but I'm new to the Forum, and hope to hear some good stories. Mike

Do you believe in ghosts because most Thai people do? I don't.

I will never pay a cent for a girl. In some (many) respects I think my culture is superior than Thai culture (yes I know that political correctness states that all cultures are equal, not) and that dowry stuff is one of the issues I will never ever accept.

BTW, why get married? Its old-fashioned in your culture (well in mine it is, BeNeLux), why go back in time and marry a Thai girl. In that way you don't even have to think of a 1st century concept called dowry.

MBL

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NW Europe ?

sounds like you are ashamed of your home-land????

Although I must admit, I don't completely disagree with your sentiments.

Dave

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Come on now...

I'm retired, 54, married to a NON-BG ( family has twice the money I could ever hope to have) and ready to take on the world...

I live here because it is just that much better than elsewhere..for right now.

Some of us retiree's just might surprise ya!

Sorry to say PM me your in the laws electric bill ( I bet free electric) and yours I already send copy of mine which you can see is 17,600 baht for last month.

My in laws are richer then yours because my wife and I gave them money. My wife was a *****. So there

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