Thai "beach Boys" And The Like

[girlx]

actually i just read it again and that was a very badly written article.

[isabelle17]

Ok, you wanna know one of the cheesiest pick up lines any guys has EVER given me? Well, even if you dont I will tell you anyway!

So I went on a elephant trek with a group of friends up north and of course, we had a trekky guy (or whatever you call them.... )

He told me I should come and sit on the elephants head (or neck I guess...) and so I did and he gave be this big grin and exclaimed in thai as he pointed at a baby elephant "Narak mai?" (Is the elephant cute?)

I said "narak mak mak" (yes it is very very cute.)

And he replied, "kun narak mungun" (you are also cute.)

Wow..normally I don't like to be compared to elephants...but....it was cute! Ahaha...oh boy...

Anyway, sorry that was way off topic, but when people stared talking about the guides up north it just brought back a very entertaining memory. Sometimes the cheesy pick up lines can be amusing. Just have a laugh at them and move on.

[Blueprincess]

Hello to everyone:

A link which some might find interesting/useful.

http://www.chameleongroup.org.uk/npd/thedonts.html

BP

[mssabai]

Ok, you wanna know one of the cheesiest pick up lines any guys has EVER given me? Well, even if you dont I will tell you anyway!

So I went on a elephant trek with a group of friends up north and of course, we had a trekky guy (or whatever you call them.... )

He told me I should come and sit on the elephants head (or neck I guess...) and so I did and he gave be this big grin and exclaimed in thai as he pointed at a baby elephant "Narak mai?" (Is the elephant cute?)

I said "narak mak mak" (yes it is very very cute.)

And he replied, "kun narak mungun" (you are also cute.)

Wow..normally I don't like to be compared to elephants...but....it was cute! Ahaha...oh boy...

Anyway, sorry that was way off topic, but when people stared talking about the guides up north it just brought back a very entertaining memory. Sometimes the cheesy pick up lines can be amusing. Just have a laugh at them and move on.

Try telling men you are a teacher and see how many ask if they can be your naklieng (student) / how lucky your students must be / how they wish they were young enough to come to your school....bleurgh. It makes me laugh when people first come to Thailand and talk about how Thai men are sooo respectful and not all leery like western men can be...then they get to understand a bit of Thai and understand the truth!

[mssabai]

Hello to everyone:

A link which some might find interesting/useful.

http://www.chameleongroup.org.uk/npd/thedonts.html

BP

This is really good, but I had to laugh at this "Don't discuss your partner with your friends. This is breach of trust and confidence."

I am assuming Ludger is a man's name based on this one comment!

[Dissolution]

I've the perfect solutions to all your problems!

Come chat me up

Why get some beach bum Thai guy, when you can get a decent Asian/mixed dude who speaks your own language? (Assuming, of course, that said language is English.)

In a serious note, I've no clue why farang girls would travel halfway across the world to bed one o' these Thai beach boys. I can understand the guys coming here, but the girls? I might not have met the right people, I guess, but Thai guys aren't exactly the personification of what you'd be looking for in an ideal mate, no matter how you cut it. You'd even have to conform to a ridiculously structured (and I use the word loosely) culture, in which you lose points just for being foreign and female.

<-- clueless

Edited May 7, 2008 by Dissolution

[burman]

In a serious note, I've no clue why farang girls would travel halfway across the world to bed one o' these Thai beach boys. I can understand the guys coming here, but the girls? I might not have met the right people, I guess, but Thai guys aren't exactly the personification of what you'd be looking for in an ideal mate, no matter how you cut it.

Eh?

I read into this you understand why men come here because Thai women are better than farang women. And I also read into this that you don't understand why women come here because farang men are better than Thai men?

Is that about right? Or have I misinterpreted your post?

[Boo]

quite burman!! I've been with my "less than ideal mate" thai man for the past 7 years, married for 5 & with a nearly 1 year old child. He seems to have managed to surpass any of my relationships with non thai men by 6 years so he can't be all bad cause anyone who knows me knows I am not very tolerante & don't put up with much in terms of being pissed around!!! I love these generalisations & how easy it is for some people to pidgeon hole millions of men of one country into the same cookie cutter shaped package to make themselves feel better (???I presume!!)

[mssabai]

I've the perfect solutions to all your problems!

Come chat me up

Why get some beach bum Thai guy, when you can get a decent Asian/mixed dude who speaks your own language? (Assuming, of course, that said language is English.)

In a serious note, I've no clue why farang girls would travel halfway across the world to bed one o' these Thai beach boys. I can understand the guys coming here, but the girls? I might not have met the right people, I guess, but Thai guys aren't exactly the personification of what you'd be looking for in an ideal mate, no matter how you cut it. You'd even have to conform to a ridiculously structured (and I use the word loosely) culture, in which you lose points just for being foreign and female.

<-- clueless

These girls don't come across the world specifically to sleep with a Thai guy. When most first arrive they could never imagine themselves falling for a short skinny bar boy. But the buckets, the sun, the exoticism all combine and suddenly they find themselves wound up in a holiday romance. It would be the same if these girls went to any big tourist destination. Wherever there are drunk girls in bikinis, there is some local lothario willing to help em discover the 'real' Spain/Greece/Thailand/Indonesia.....etc etc.

And it is very dangerous for a man to start assuming he knows what a woman finds attractive. Fortunately for you all, we don't only fancy Brad Pitt lookalikes.

[Dissolution]

In a serious note, I've no clue why farang girls would travel halfway across the world to bed one o' these Thai beach boys. I can understand the guys coming here, but the girls? I might not have met the right people, I guess, but Thai guys aren't exactly the personification of what you'd be looking for in an ideal mate, no matter how you cut it.

Eh?

I read into this you understand why men come here because Thai women are better than farang women. And I also read into this that you don't understand why women come here because farang men are better than Thai men?

Is that about right? Or have I misinterpreted your post?

Oh no, I might've worded it wrong. What I meant was, as a guy, I can seriously see the attraction of the females here. Even for an asian, I find that many of the girls here are more attractive than those back home on multiple levels. Not just looks, but attitude, personality, etc. That they come from a similar albeit nonidentical cultural background is of course a plus. It was never my intention to have a comparison. Having only had fleeting acquaintances with farang women, and never had the opportunity to date one, I'm simply not qualified to be comparing anything.

To clarify that portion of my post, while I can understand why the men are attracted to the women here, the local males don't seem to have many traits that I feel would entice a female to travel half way around the globe, then try to fit into an entirely different society. Especially one that is very very different from their own, and to a certain extent discriminates heavily against them.

I love these generalisations & how easy it is for some people to pidgeon hole millions of men of one country into the same cookie cutter shaped package to make themselves feel better

Congratulations on the find. I'm not usually one to generalise, but from what I gather, what I described would be the majority. Squares are always rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. Also, I'd like to think my post wasn't worded offensively. It really is an inquiry. I have some small interest in anthropology, and this baffles me.

And it is very dangerous for a man to start assuming he knows what a woman finds attractive. Fortunately for you all, we don't only fancy Brad Pitt lookalikes.

I sincerely apologise. As mentioned above, mischief was not my intention. And just as how assumptions are dangerous, isn't it important to hence understand that which I don't?

These girls don't come across the world specifically to sleep with a Thai guy

Sorry, just thought the first post and a number of other threads seemed to imply otherwise. Guess I was wrong.

I'd hoped the tongue-in-cheek, silly tone of the post would've been enough to ask a question without offending anyone's sensitivities, but it seems that I have, regardless. Again, my apologies. I'm just somewhat interested in the issue, and was actually hoping to get a better understanding of it.

Edited May 8, 2008 by Dissolution

[sbk]

I guess, to a man, it would be easy to assume that these girls are travelling half way round the world to sleep with a guy because so many men do. But, of the girls I have met who ended up with Thai men (beach boys or not), none have come here looking for a guy. I certainly didn't.

As for the assumptions about Thai men in their culture, well I have to say that to some extent what you say is true, but it is a gross generalization that doesn't always hold water. At least where I live the docile submissive little Thai wifey who does everything her husband says and the man is the boss is a myth. I know of many many relationships between Thai people where the woman is clearly in charge. I also know many where the man is in charge. And, among the younger generation, increaasingly they are partnerships between equals. Where both people are involved in the decision making.

I think you have bought into the stereotypes about Thai culture and Thai men, frankly. Of course, there are womanizers (lots!) and men who treat their women badly but if you look at western nations, especially among poorer socio-economic groups, you will find exactly the same thing. Certainly Thai culture is geared towards the male but I think you will find that attitudes are changing and among the younger generations that is no longer as true as it once was. And of course, there will always be men who don't fit into those stereotypes and to suggest that that is all that is available to a woman is mistaken.

Regardless, the beach boys in question are so far outside the norms of Thai culture that to say they somehow represent normal Thai behavior is a very large mistake.

[kato]

As a recently arrived young woman here, have read through this post with interest. I agree that the 'Beach Boy' trait can be linked with most other countries with a big Western tourist industry. I moved to Thailand last week to start a new job, after a year working in Goa, India. And, reading your posts has just made me see how stooooopid I am. I left behind my Goan boyfriend, who used to be a beach boy there, although when I met him had taken that little rung up the ladder to Barman. Having spent a lot of time in the area in the last two years, I had other stereotypical 'beach boys' as good friends, but even knowing exactly what they were like, I let myself be sucked in by this one. He fed me all the stories in the book, and we had a really good time. As it got closer to me leaving for my job here, he begged n pleaded i stay, and all the rest of it, but thankfully I stayed strong to my plans and left.

That was a week ago, and since then I've heard nothing from him. Even though he did the whole, I love you, i'll come see you in Thailand for two weeks every 2 months, you can come here on your holidays, it will work out and in 12months we can be together again, blah blah blah. Now, I went along with all this, as I do/did really like him. But deep inside I knew it was never going to happen. But I didnt think from the day I left I'd just be totally dropped. Sigh.

So, as much as I'm enjoying being here, I can't help feel the experience is being tarnished at the moment by my constant thoughts about what a mug I am. Stooooppppid girl.

Needless to stay, once bitten twice shy. So could be a lonely 12 months for me on the romantic front!!

Sorry, this isn't wholy relevant. But I do think the book idea sounds fab, go for it ladies!!!

xx

[girlx]

aw don't feel too stupid, you aren't alone. and looking at it from his point of view, you were coming here to make a new life that didn't really include him in it seriously, so he moved on. i think dropping someone with no word is a pretty calloused way to do things though.

[geriatrickid]

Have fun, stay safe, be careful and use a condom.

Papa Meadish

It's a start, but won't stop some diseases. If a reader doesn't want a lecture from granny, please skip this.

If the condom works, chances are you will dodge a deadly bullet, but Thai condoms don't seem to be as hardy as western condoms. I strongly suggest you bring your own box. Beachboys are also known to "forget" to use a condom, so check before proceeding.

I'm not as concerned about HIV and most of the STIs including every girl's nightmare of lice, as I am about the ever increasing rates of HSV (herpes)and HPV warts. Paper after paper has been published on the subject and a few are readily available on the internet or through various websites such as WHO and the CDC that go through the greater risk associated with certain sexual practices and partners.

A condom won't protect you if the male is asymptomatic or if a herpes lesion is on other parts of his anatomy such as the inner thigh and yes, the buttocks. (I mention buttocks only to reinforce the comment offered in an earlier post about the switch hitting styles of some beachboys.) There are cases of HSV on the fingers after those parts have come in contact with the shedding donor or body fluids. Herpes is transmitted through the skin and you do not necessarily need an active lesion to contract the disease. People think that they can spot warts on a guy's genitalia, but in most cases, you need a magnifying glass and good light to pick up the bumps and spots. Sure you can use a condom for vaginal sex, but how many of you will insist on a condom for oral sex? How many of you are prepared to examine the merchandise before you get busy?

Beachboys are in many ways the male equivalent of the good old bargirl, except there is one massive difference. There is an STI testing program in place for the ladies. As imperfect as it is, it does screen for hepatitis, and HIV. Beachboys are not screened. My understanding is that when a voluntary check was attempted a couple years ago on some beaches, it was an ummitigated failure as almost none of the workers wanted to be tested. Sure there are females that will come on and say hey, I'm not worried or I came out of it ok. Unfortunately, for the 5 or so that will say that, there will be 5 others that are too devastated to come on and say, I contracted genital warts or oral herpes from Kobi the hot beachboy. One thing about STIs is that no one wants to admit to having one. Because of the code of silence, people are lulled into a false sense of security.

You may think I'm generalizing but the fact is that there is a direct relationship between the numbers of sexual partners one has and the likelihood of presenting with herpes and warts. Having sexual relations with a beachboy increases a woman's risk of contracting an STI several times. Believe it or not, there are alot of Thai guys that are available that are not reservoirs of disease. Broaden your search parameters. Sometimes the cute guy working in the mall or at the shop would jump at a chance to go out with you. More importantly, you might find someone that won't be looking for another notch on his belt.

Granny lecture over.

[girlx]

excellent post!

[Nampeung]

Well said GK

[kato]

Thanks Girlx! I don't actually feel that stupid I don't think, just annoyed that he made such a big deal about me leaving, for it to lead to not even a single text/phone call or anything. And to think I let him spoil my last days there with all his melodrama, sigh!!

Well, new country, new start. Think the saying once bitten, twice shy is going to be very true in my case!!

[sannebkk]

Hi,

What an interesting discussion!

the beach boy, Indeed i am a ' victim' of one!

slight comment: some beach boys do get tested, i have heard in some cases that the bosses of those resorts/bugalow places request all employee to take a drug as well as blood test at least 2 a year, If you do not pass you can forget about your job. in my experience guys always have this in the back of their heads when they have their latest drunken farang catch!Their respect to their boss is generally higher then that catch.

This exactly what i am thinking about lately, me and my boyfriend met late november, i live in bkk (dutch international student) he is from ko chang (originally kalasin) but i used to spend weeks there. The thing is his friends are (most of them) all like the beachboys described above. my man is (was, he left his job after we were getting serious together) the typical example: he played (tried to) those trics on me too. he is a fire master, bar tender, guitar player, quiet but cheeky, used the : hi what is your name, where do you come from line.

And offcourse I trust him and i am convinced he does not play those tricks on me, but how do you know ( So I am not REALLY convinced;).

Everyday i see his friends; girlfriends/ gigs from seweden,australia england come and go. they all think their man has been faithfull and they really believe it! they are convinced in that matter as much as I am!

i do not want to generalise my man in this beach category, though i know he is a great liar, our first conversation appears to have been lies only, now we laugh about this. But How can i ever be sure I am not so blind as all the others?

Does any of you have experience in this?I do want to doubt him but due to the environment(although we only visit his friends now and he has left) you start doubting right?

any tips?

we do invest a lot (both side) in our future together, recently we got 'engaged' in his birth place, i have met his family, already know his mother well, speak reasonable thai, understand the cultural differences in our relationship and we had the whole ceremony and spirit and ghost blessings.

how far do Thai man go to decieve someone?

hihi I really do not want to generalise him and just trust him, but when i look around it is not that easy, that is the reaon why i came to this forum to find woman who do have positive experiences.

please help!

[sannebkk]

Kato,

did you contact him already?

from experiencing around me:

if you are not very clear about you coming back and he is very scared, he might not trust you even coming back. therefor he will not call you and show no attachement to the matter, he will easily just block it and move on.

Some of them have heard many times: ' yes I will come back for you, i love you bladiebla," but most of those girls never show up. They whait for those farang girls and maybe he got dissapointed in a previous relationship??

If you are almost sure you both had true feelings, don't dismiss it to easily.

good luck

[Boo]

sannebkk, only you can chose to trust or not. none of us know your bf or you so no one can really say, "forget him, once a beach boy liar always a beach boy liar " or the opposite "yes he has changed & will be honest & faithful to you forever"

I never ask advice on my relationship as it involves 2 people only, me & my husband. No one knows our relationship except us & no matter what anyone elses expereinces with men, thai or otherwise, no one can tell me what he is or isn't like.

Some women on here have only had bad expereinces so will be continually negative & place blame on the man for being thai, being a beach boy, being brought up in a different culture etc & use their own negativity to brand all thai men the same. Others, like myself, will have had a mixed expereinces, I have know good & bad, some were so called respectable men, with good jobs who were big old users & liars, others were dirt poor, less educated but would have given me the shirt off their back, so I don't like to make generlaisations based on a little bit of info.

SO my advice, if you want it is - care less about what other people say & use your own judgement but remember to listen to your own interal warning signs.

If it looks like a lemon, smells like a lemon & tastes like a lemon, then odds are, it will be a lemon.

[sannebkk]

Thank you boo,

i do appreciate your opinion!

There are not so many 'succesfull-relation' story's between farang ladies and thai man , that is all.not so common either.

I think I /we are still very young, and sometimes I feel like I need some example from someone who can show me: look it does exist!

bad experience and the first time i share this realtionship with somone from a total different culture creates this insecure feeling.

Thanks anyway ,I will continue reading these posts, some are really helpfull, though( 9 out of 10 these are messages of warning;))

[Boo]

Sannebkk, I think you may think there are not many succesful relationships between farang women & thai men based on your own demographic. I know personally of more than 10 long term relationships between western women & thai men that are still going strong with me & my husband one of the newer ones (7+ years so far)

All of these couples are either living in thaialnd or the Uk & they dont' have any of the issues you will hear described here. The men are all decent, hard working & many have thier own businesses. They have plenty their own money & I know of at least 6 of these couples where the women is supported by her husbands earnings whilst she either looks after kids or has a lesser paid job. No different to a lot of my UK-UK couple friends.

That said, I am 10 years older than you as are my freinds but I cant see why a younger couple can't work out if you both want it to as we & many of my freinds were of a similar age when starting our relationships.

Remember this, it is very rare for someone to start a topic just saying how great life is, how happy they are with their thai man (or women) how they are decent & kind. They wont bother cause they are just busy being happy with life, it is generalyl only when there is a problem that someone starts a topic which is why a lot of people get the wrong idea abut these relationships & why the negative will always get more press than the positive.

[girlx]

some beach boys do get tested, i have heard in some cases that the bosses of those resorts/bugalow places request all employee to take a drug as well as blood test at least 2 a year

really?! i have never heard of testing at resorts but it's a great idea!

[Boo]

some of these guys were players & one or two were working on the beach but it doesn't make them less able to have a decent relationship or be a good guy in the end.

One couple spent the first several years having an "open" relationship, she went out & fooled around & so did he. They were both aware of it & both accepted it. Only rule was not to see anyone twice. They are now totally monogamous & been together for over 10 years. So it takes all sorts

[pattayaheaven]

There is good and bad everywhere in the world and your heart finds the right person.How many stories do you here on this board about farangs being ripped off by thai women,then you here wonderful stories about brilliant relationships.

I do feel that many women get a bad deal in europe and places like west indies and turkey.

I had many friends who were west indians in the uk and they talked about white bitches who would have sex much easier than west indian women.We also know too well about what turks think of the easy, english girls,as they mostly,dont have sex before marriage so take as many ladies in the holiday season.

[GracelessFawn]

I think it's wrong to type-cast all beach boys as criminals, liars, perverts, etc. It simple isn't fair. There are some that work as beach boys in order to go to school or make some sort of money. True, there are those with bad and dubious character but, I think it's wrong to stereotype. Who am I to judge them? Just my thoughts.

[sbk]

Well, sanne, I didn't marry a beach boy, but we were young ----very young now that I look back

I was 23 and he was 21 when we got married. We celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next year and still have a strong relationship. So, successful relationships do exist, and it can be the right person even when you are young. I learned a long time ago to not make assumptions about people based on what everyone else thinks. Go with your instincts and don't let yourself be fooled, either by him or by others who will try to influence your relationship. As you said, he could be a good liar, but if you can't give him the benefit of the doubt now then your relationship will not last.

[Antimony]

Thanks OP! Very useful info!

This is an eye opener for me. Never heard of the "beach boys".

Dayumn, lucky shrimpdicks get laid too?

(Just kidding!!!!!!)

Edited June 7, 2008 by Antimony

[kato]

Kato,

did you contact him already?

from experiencing around me:

if you are not very clear about you coming back and he is very scared, he might not trust you even coming back. therefor he will not call you and show no attachement to the matter, he will easily just block it and move on.

Some of them have heard many times: ' yes I will come back for you, i love you bladiebla," but most of those girls never show up. They whait for those farang girls and maybe he got dissapointed in a previous relationship??

If you are almost sure you both had true feelings, don't dismiss it to easily.

good luck

Hi Sannebkk,

Yes, we aer back in contact, and he had a very good excuse for his silence when I first arrived, which I've had verified by a friend I truly trust to tel me the truth. So, looks like my instincts were right after all, and he is a good guy....

But, although we are talking now, and I do think we could have had something good if we were together, I have decided I cannot spend the next 11 months (and maybe longer) in a long distance relationship with him, because my reaction to not hearing from him before proves to me I don't trust him enough for a relationship with him to survive that.

So, he might not be an arsehol_e, but the timing just isn't right for us

Hope you find the answers to your questions about your guy

xx

[himachal]

here in bali the beach boys are rampant. what would a 43 year old woman do with a 25 year old boy?

Dear Donna

Where can I get a cheap ticket to Bali? This 44 yr old can think of a few uses for a 25 yr old 'boy'!

No, seriously. Beach boys will always be with us, for good or bad. Just another way tourists and their cash are seperated, their dreams dispelled/fantasies realised - or dashed. I think most young tourists are aware of the need for protection from STDs, pregnancy, etc. Similarly (and this relates more to women, I suppose) most are aware of the need to excercise caution when strolling off to the dark end of a beach at night with someone they don't know. Unfortunately, as several posters have pointed out, tourists tend to leave their common sense in a locker at the airport and any number of tragic things can, and do, happen. God, I should know! I think it's all pretty inevitable. We can only hope that these tragic incidents occur as infrequently as possible.

Having said that, the OP is great advice. As a previous poster observed, though, might be more effective elsewhere, say in Lonely Planet and on the island ferries.

Happy and safe travelling, all.