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ozzy111

To Tell Or Not To Tell

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A bloke that lives in the same village as me wife's is doing the dirty. Although I've only known him a short time he is a good guy he dos'nt live in Thailand full time but he is planning on moving over next year. Now normally this sort of thing would'nt bother me it just comes with the territory, but this poor bloke is about to pour 3mil into a house that he has just started constuction on while he's wife has a thai husband. Can I let myself just watch this guy throw his hard earned money away or should I pull him aside over a few quiet beers and let him know.To tell or not to tell that is my problem any advice.

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He needs to find out without your involvement, you live there, think of the repercussions.

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I stronglt suggest you tell him so he doesnt waste the money.Also he needs to be aware that a thai guy is involved and that could be the death penalty.Killing a pig or chicken is same same as a farang for some thai men.

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I stronglt suggest you tell him so he doesnt waste the money.Also he needs to be aware that a thai guy is involved and that could be the death penalty.Killing a pig or chicken is same same as a farang for some thai men.

A bit over dramatic eh?

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A bloke that lives in the same village as me wife's is doing the dirty. Although I've only known him a short time he is a good guy he dos'nt live in Thailand full time but he is planning on moving over next year. Now normally this sort of thing would'nt bother me it just comes with the territory, but this poor bloke is about to pour 3mil into a house that he has just started constuction on while he's wife has a thai husband. Can I let myself just watch this guy throw his hard earned money away or should I pull him aside over a few quiet beers and let him know.To tell or not to tell that is my problem any advice.

NOW!!

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assuming that this is more than just a short term fling on her part then i think he should be told , how you go about doing it without getting yourself into trouble with other locals is the hard part.

you could be saving him a lot of trouble down the line.

you need to be very very sure of your facts before you consider doing anything......and be sure that this guy will thank you for the information and not punch you in the face.

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Would you tell his wife if he was playing around?

Maybe she is a bit lonely and having a fling. Are you sure it's her husband? Unless he was a close friend, I would think long and hard about telling him- and even if he was a friend I wouldn't go rushing in. Sometimes it is better not to know about this things. If the guy is happy in his relationship so what if his wife is having a bit on the side. If all the people who ever cheated were caught tomorrow there would be very few relationships left - and I don't just mean in Thailand. If he is about to pour money into a house he is obviously convinced by her. He might not take too kindly to being told she is a cheat.

If you think it is better to tell I would do it anonymously.

Edited by garro

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Very dangerous ground, you could toally isolate yourself or even worse. If the guy is so stupid to pour money in then he is gullible and no amount of "wink wink know what I mean" will change his mind.

It really annoys me that there are so many stupid, niaive, ignorant brain dead men around who fall for the first smile etc etc

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He needs to find out without your involvement, you live there, think of the repercussions.

Agree entirely. If you tell him and he packs up and leaves it will be your fault, YOU caused the problem by telling him. That's THAI logic!

But I agree that he needs to know. I have a friend in my village in a similar position. But how can he be told anonymously, without anyone suspecting who did the telling?

Any suggestions?

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Sometimes it is better not to know about this things

true , but sometimes it is better to know , so that the worse case scenario can be avoided.

that is when the house is built , the car is bought , the life insurance is up and running and the bank account is healthy and then boyfriend or husband comes knocking on the door with a mate or two and a gun.

...... it does happen.

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The guy needs to find out - period. How many sob stories do we read about with the guy losing the lot to some un-scrupulous scam & then doing the five second flying lesson?

Condsider it your one good deed, however, if you can let the guy know without him knowing it is you that would be far better.

Adultery - un-pleasant but manageable.

Outright scam to get the guy for every penny - unforgivable.

This looks like the latter.

Soundman.

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try and find out if he has an e mail then get a unconnected third part y drop him a line as a "concerned" countryman.

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Sometimes it is better not to know about this things

true , but sometimes it is better to know , so that the worse case scenario can be avoided.

that is when the house is built , the car is bought , the life insurance is up and running and the bank account is healthy and then boyfriend or husband comes knocking on the door with a mate or two and a gun.

...... it does happen.

The thing is though that the word 'husband' means a whole different thing here in Thailand and that is especially true in a Thai village. I taught in a village school for a few years and a lot of these girls and boys begins serious relationships from the time they are thirteen. By the time they leave school most have official or unofficial husbands. A lot of these relationships don't work out.

Any westerner who moves to his girlfriends village would be foolish to think that there is not an old flame somewhere. There is always the chance that this can rekindle - especially if she is feeling lonely or neglected. But these thing don't last for the same reason they didn't in the beginning. She doesn't believe she will get caught and probably sees it as harmless fun.

These situations are hard to judge and sometimes ignorance is bliss. The guy and this Thai woman might have many happy years in front of them despite her little fling. Wouldn't it be a shame to destroy it. Of course, she might just be chuck him after she gets the big house.

Edited by garro

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