To Tell Or Not To Tell That Is The Question

[stoneman]

to send a very special Thank You to a European farang

Well his GF got way behind in her gambling debts and my wife bought the motorbike from her last week at exactly 1/3 the price he paid

...It has a total of 4,000kms....

Stoneman

gloat: 2: to observe or think about something with triumphant and often malicious satisfaction, gratification, or delight

schadenfreude: to take delight in other peoples misfortune

If only we were all as smart as you eh ?

Londo...

I get the feeling that, just maybe, that was your motorbike that I bought... Can send you a picture if you would like?

Stoneman

[Mossfinn]

Lying bitch told me it cost 900k lol.

Good luck

Moss

[Milo]

Same just happened in our village, mate went home to earn enough for the next stay. Silly cow started seeing a bloke just around the corner. Talk about sh*t on your own doorstep! As a mate, figuring would appreciate the head's up myself, even if you don't want to hear it, told him. Needless to say didn't believe us all here. Think they'll both be moving out fairly shortly after his return. Just as long as he has second thoughts about the house he was going to build. Not the first time this has happened either, love certainly is blind.

[Neeranam]

It's funny - everyone knows many others that are beiing ripped off by Isan women but they never are themselves

[Twiggy44]

fool and his dosh soon part???

Som Nam Na - why would you buy a house for your gf anyways????

You're right brit....good for them...why not buy a house for me then....by the way just asking what does the Thai ladies have why many farang fall for them???

[0Mix1up]

its quite common the 'f3ck you jack i'm alright' attitude many westerners have.

[Neeranam]

Never build/buy a house with a Thai woman UNLESS you've known her for at least 5 years AND you've lived in the country and know Thai culture for 10+ years.

[Scheduler]

fool and his dosh soon part???

Som Nam Na - why would you buy a house for your gf anyways????

Just a note: You can have your name as the lease holder registered on a Chanote Land Title. Does not stop the girls from expanding their collection of Farangs but does protect your investment. One can always go a few steps further with contractual agreements drawn up good attorneys. Lastly why would any guy caugh-up that kind off cash to any woman? Didn't we learn our lessons back home?

[abdulrahman]

It's funny - everyone knows many others that are beiing ripped off by Isan women but they never are themselves

They are,we are,I am.

Gloating is not nice,to be sure.

BUT after hearing from a bloke for months,even years,how his wife/GF is unique,does everything right,spend very little,pass all the time home knitting,cook(and like)farang food,etc. a little shadenfreude should be permitted.

I'm sure you know someone that behave this way!

[unomi]

I don't see this as a matter or gloating or schadenfreude.

It is quite simply doing the right thing, I believe you should always let a person know if they are getting done wrong, doing otherwise would make you a party to it.

That said there have been times where the person I tried to set straight didn't believe me or worse, confronted his wife/gf with 'this guy said that' rather than trying to investigate for themselves. Obviously uncool.

I myself had my eyes opened to things that had gone on while I was out of the country and will always be grateful to the person that let me know. 

Silence is Defeat.

Edited September 21, 2008 by unomi

[londoedan]

My opinion is that people posting comments about the problems, difficulties etc etc that other couples are having is pretty mean-spirited. Gloating about your own financial gain arising from these problems is even worse.

Whatever happened to" "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" or "am I my brothers keeper ? ".

A lot of these posters come across like gossippy old women. I don't think anyone can really know what occurs in other peoples lives and relationships once the doors are closed and the curtains drawn.

"silence is golden" (I think that's one of Simon and Garfunkel's).

Londo

[endure]

"silence is golden" (I think that's one of Simon and Garfunkel's).

The Tremeloes actually

[londoedan]

Nice, speedy correction I'm impressed.

[robee]

i dont feel good telling this but it happens all to often. an inlaw has just sold her house to a thai girl that has two farang on the go. now the story is she has farang husband. for sure she has two boyfriends. why am i posting. well its just a heads up to you. if your australian or sweedish and youve just paid 700k bt for a house in song neuan. well you both probably paid for the same house with the same girl. i know no other info so if you think its you i,m sorry. shit happens man.

First rule:do NOT invest in Thailand any money that you are not ready to lose.

Second rule:If you do,don't come to TV for comfort.

Personal thought:why don't I follow my own advice?

Of course it regards everybody else than you ...................................and me

2 good rules ima remember. But doing that's another thing.

[Milo]

I don't see this as a matter or gloating or schadenfreude.

It is quite simply doing the right thing, I believe you should always let a person know if they are getting done wrong, doing otherwise would make you a party to it.

That said there have been times where the person I tried to set straight didn't believe me or worse, confronted his wife/gf with 'this guy said that' rather than trying to investigate for themselves. Obviously uncool.

I myself had my eyes opened to things that had gone on while I was out of the country and will always be grateful to the person that let me know. 

Silence is Defeat.

Exactly. Know I'd feel pretty sh*tty if further down the line she takes him for everything and I'd kept my mouth shut. Wouldn't have been much of a mate, would I?

[Gary A]

If stupidity were painful, some of these guys would be in a world of pain. Lust is blind and you can't tell a blind person to take a closer look. MYOB.

[gpdjohn]

If stupidity were painful, some of these guys would be in a world of pain. Lust is blind and you can't tell a blind person to take a closer look. MYOB.

I couldn't agree more.

Unless he is a close friend, I mean someone who I knew back in the world, I would just keep my mouth shut.

I figure if you do not live in Thailand with her but spend on a house, motorcycle, vehicle, etc.. and expect everything to be normal while you are gone for 6 to 10 months, then you are a fool.

Not just Thailand but I would guess it goes on most everywhere when the partner leaves for almost a year.

Ever heard of " Jody" or maybe a "WestPac widow"...

But like Gary has stated..

Sometimes being a nice guy here can prove fatal. Trying to inform every goof ball that his pooying is a cheat, heck...it could become a fulltime job.

( and I wonder how many of you cheat on her when you are back "home". )

3 more

[Geekfreaklover]

What would you guys do if you couldn't sit around bitching and gossiping about people who weren't as "smart" or as "clued-up" or who have failed to follow someone's "rules" for living in Thailand.

What really sticks in my throat is the evident delight you seem to take in the up's and down's of other peoples lives.

If only we were all as clever as you lot eh ?

Sad.

Londo

True. You never think that it will happen to you. Until it does.

[huggybear]

Exactly. Know I'd feel pretty sh*tty if further down the line she takes him for everything and I'd kept my mouth shut. Wouldn't have been much of a mate, would I?

Still, even as a mate it's a tough deal.

I know of a guy, somewhat of a friend of mine who has built the house, married the girl, takes care of her son too, has new baby on the way, but he works outside of the country and when he leaves the Thai boyfriend (a cop no less), possibly the father of both kids, is right on the scene.

Now the guy I know is very happy with the Thai wife and kids. Am I a better friend for ruining his happiness by flapping my lips? I think not.

[Lucifer]

The question is, if your woman was cheating on you, would you want a ''friend'' to tell you?

[gpdjohn]

The question is, if your woman was cheating on you, would you want a ''friend'' to tell you?

Heck yeah, and would get pissed off if he didn't.

[rick75]

The old saying "damned if you do , damned if you don't" is spot on, no guy is going to be happy that he has found out that his lady has been playing up, I am one of the guys who stays away a great deal of time, I joke with my lady about her other boyfriends she swears black and blue that I am the only one, but she would say that now wouldn't she. I have not bought the family a house and don't send her any cash, so in my mind I have nothing to lose, if things don't work out I will move on. I think its Ok to have a chuckle about others misfortunes in this case, there is no excuse for a guy getting involved with a Thai lady and not knowing what he is getting involved in, the combination of heat alcohol and beautiful women seems to ensure that men leave there brain in the airport.

[prakhonchai nick]

Obviously neither him nor you know that you CANNOT own land here in Thailand. Why would you think he could have his name on the deed?

Whilst a foreigner cannot own land in Thailand it is possible to have your name of the land title (chanote). I did, and it gave me much security.

If you lend money for the purchase (or bailing out ) of the land, you can be the mortgagor, and have your name shown as such on the chanote. Also since you have advanced money on the land, you are entitled to hang on to the chanote in the same way a bank would do.

It cannot be sold until you sign that you have received your loan back. You are then in the driving seat!

[coventry]

You are then in the driving seat!

Not neccessary true. I have someones Chinote but a Thai lawyer tells me it's worth nothing without a loan contract. Some times known as a Khai Fark agreeement. You may have the Chinote but that's it. He can still live and farm the land but can't sell it or take a loan out on it. Where as you can't claim it without a contract. Edited September 22, 2008 by coventry

[Thaddeus]

Obviously neither him nor you know that you CANNOT own land here in Thailand. Why would you think he could have his name on the deed?

Whilst a foreigner cannot own land in Thailand it is possible to have your name of the land title (chanote). I did, and it gave me much security.

If you lend money for the purchase (or bailing out ) of the land, you can be the mortgagor, and have your name shown as such on the chanote. Also since you have advanced money on the land, you are entitled to hang on to the chanote in the same way a bank would do.

It cannot be sold until you sign that you have received your loan back. You are then in the driving seat!

As far as I am aware that is correct.... you can never own the land, but you can hold the Chanote for an outstanding loan, if the loan is repaid you surrender the Chanote to the borrower, if it isn't repaid, you can transfer the debt via the Chanothe to another person (preferably Thai, and the borrower really doesn't want that to happen)

You can control who owns the land, but you can't own it yourself, just the paperwork.

[prakhonchai nick]

Not neccessary true. I have someones Chinote but a Thai lawyer tells me it's worth nothing without a loan contract. Some times known as a Khai Fark agreeement. You may have the Chinote but that's it. He can still live and farm the land but can't sell it or take a loan out on it. Where as you can't claim it without a contract.

[/quote

That's true. A chanote as security for any loan is no good without a loan contract. In the case I outlined, the Land Office will add your name to the chanote as mortgagor, but you must have a legal mortgage(loan) contract.

Thanks Thaddeus for the additional info, Wasn't aware the debt could be sold on. Useful to now.

[egg]

The question is, if your woman was cheating on you, would you want a ''friend'' to tell you?

Heck yeah, and would get pissed off if he didn't.

agreed ,,, and along a similar line ,,, l know a woman that has taken a couple of million baht from a guy ,, e.g ,, house, furnishings ,bike ,, bank account , etc,etc ,, and has tried the same scam on others ,,,, should l warn them ? or as my wife says , mind my own business (that is not Thai custom) ,,, if it was me , l think l would like to know her track record

cheers

egg

[GungaDin]

The question is, if your woman was cheating on you, would you want a ''friend'' to tell you?

Heck yeah, and would get pissed off if he didn't.

agreed ,,, and along a similar line ,,, l know a woman that has taken a couple of million baht from a guy ,, e.g ,, house, furnishings ,bike ,, bank account , etc,etc ,, and has tried the same scam on others ,,,, should l warn them ? or as my wife says , mind my own business (that is not Thai custom) ,,, if it was me , l think l would like to know her track record

cheers

egg

Same here !

You have to be aware of little things going on.

Add them up and you've got a liar.

[farmerjo]

Had a mate who lost a house and car,the g/f was with a local cop.

Now mate in bangkok happly married.

Policeman was forced to transfer out.

G/f sold car and has nothing.

Moral,Dont take them out of there enviroment,give them to much spending money and they will shop around.

[Maigo6]

I know a Farang that' fuxs around regular with anything in sight, should I tell his trusting Isaan wife that is always there for him , or not ?

Shall I break up their marriage ?

Shall I break her heart or his ?

Or is it,

Best I just keep myself to myself ?

Probably best you do the same !

Sticking your hooter in other peoples problems will only cause you problems yourself.

Edited September 23, 2008 by Maigo6