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warfie

Worst Joke Ever

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And without further ado I give you:

Several nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out. The nuns took their habits off and tied them together to make a rope to get out of the building via the window.

After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?"

"No," replied the old nun "don't you know...

...old habits are hard to break?" :)

NEXT!

Not bad actually quite good. :D

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Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel roomand Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was,'Do you have a condom?'

Donald frowned and said, 'No.'

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

'Maybe they sell them at the front desk,' she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they hadcondoms.

'Yes, we do,' the clerk said and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, 'Would you like me to put them on your bill?

'No!' Donald quacked, I'll thucking thuffocate ...

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"How did you get jam and custard in your ears?"

"Sorry, what was that? I'm a trifle deaf"

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Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel roomand Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was,'Do you have a condom?'

Donald frowned and said, 'No.'

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

'Maybe they sell them at the front desk,' she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they hadcondoms.

'Yes, we do,' the clerk said and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, 'Would you like me to put them on your bill?

'No!' Donald quacked, I'll thucking thuffocate ...

Duck Patrol Here :)

See post #17

:D

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Two Texans were having a drink at a bar, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few seats away, turning blue from chocking. The first Texan drawled, "Think we oughta help?"

"Yep," said the second Texan.

The first Texan got up, hitched up his jeans and walked over to the lady. He asked, "Kin ya breathe?"

She shook her head no.

"Kin ya speak?" he asked.

She again shook her head no.

With that, he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt, dropped her panties and started licking her butt!

She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.

The first Texan turned back to his friend and said.....

"That thar Hind Lick Manoeuvre works ever' time!"

groan rating please?

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A tourist walked into a Brighton curio/antique shop.

After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze Statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but

it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway.

He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?'

The owner replied: 'its 12 quid for the rat, and 100 quid for the story.'

The tourist gave the owner his 12 quid and said: 'I'll just take the rat, You can keep the story.'

As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the sewers and

begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a

couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching

in a very menacing way. He increased his speed & ran on towards the beach, and as he ran, he looked

behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster & faster.

By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze Rat far out into the

water. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.

The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said: 'Ah, you've come back for the story

then?'

'No,' said the tourist, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim Fundamentalist Cleric, a couple

of illegal immigrants, a Poof, a Manchester United supporter, and anything French!'

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Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before

making love to your wife in future?'

'Bejaysus Why?' Paddy asked.

'Because,' said Mick, 'the whole street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.'

Paddy said, 'Stupid bastards, the laugh's on them...I wasn't home yesterday’.

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^^^

|||

that's too good for this thread :)

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Two moles running up their burrow one behind the other.

The back mole says "I can smell sugar".

The front mole says "I can't, lets swap places".

They swap positions.

On they go, now the new back mole says "Ah, now I can smell something sweet, but it's not sugar, it's molasses".

Boom Boom !!!!!

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Two moles running up their burrow one behind the other.

The back mole says "I can smell sugar".

The front mole says "I can't, lets swap places".

They swap positions.

On they go, now the new back mole says "Ah, now I can smell something sweet, but it's not sugar, it's molasses".

Boom Boom !!!!!

A new low .............. well done :)

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Two moles running up their burrow one behind the other.

The back mole says "I can smell sugar".

The front mole says "I can't, lets swap places".

They swap positions.

On they go, now the new back mole says "Ah, now I can smell something sweet, but it's not sugar, it's molasses".

Boom Boom !!!!!

you're not my friend anymore... :)

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