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kandahar

The Funny Things She Says

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A lot of you CR folks already know my wife. If you know her, you know she is sweet, smart, educated and still, she comes up with some doozies. I know some of the other CR wives and have witnessed some really good sayings from some of them as well. And we all know, each and every one of them say the funniest things sometimes, whether it is an ill-fated attempt at English, plain and simple female wittiness and humor or something that is specifically Thai that we don't quite get. So, knowing that this ISN'T a place to put down your better half, but instead is a thread to share the sayings and doings that endear these women to us, let's hear what some of your gals come up with on a regular basis.

Here's the most recent from my wife:

Her: What shirt did you wear to that restaurant last time?

Me: I dunno. That was some time ago. What difference does it make?

Her: I don't want them to think you have only one shirt. You need to make sure you don't wear the same shirt today that you wore last time you went.

Truth: I have LOTS of shirts and I really doubt that they remember what I wore last time. She's sure they do remember and will judge her on that.

Here's another, older one:

Her: Hon, what is a kaneevis?

Me: I dunno. Never heard of it. Is it Thai or English?

Her: English. You wrote it on your list of things to do today.

Me: I didn't write kaneevis on anything. Let me see the list.

Truth: Number 3 on my list- Sharpen knives. (She read "knives", which was an unfamiliar term to her, as "kaneevis".)

Edited by kandahar

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You started a thread like this on the same day you sharpened your kaneevis?

Brave man.

About the shirt.....she is not alone. I often find myself doing that also.

Everybody knows that restaurant staff keep notebooks about what customers wear and laugh at people who repeat on consecutive visits.

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You started a thread like this on the same day you sharpened your kaneevis?

Brave man.

About the shirt.....she is not alone. I often find myself doing that also.

Everybody knows that restaurant staff keep notebooks about what customers wear and laugh at people who repeat on consecutive visits.

I ain't scared. She reads this forum every day. She has her own user ID and password. She knows she cracks me up sometimes and she knows I crack her up sometimes.

But, no, I didn't start the thread on the kaneevis day. That happened about a year and a half ago. She always calls them kaneevis now though, because she knows it tickles me.

Edited by kandahar

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Travelling through a country lane in the West of England my Thai mrs exclaims,"look lubbert".

Lannaman replies, " Yes, a lot of bad people chuck rubbish down on the lanes".

"But they were cute"

"Ahhh! Rabbits."

Mrs, "We must tell Lubbert about them when we get home."

Me," Tell who? Ah! you mean Robert"

Mrs," Yes tell Lubbert and me saw lubbert and you thought me say lubbert."

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My wife has a lovely habit of mixing English and Thai in a funny way,

sometimes sticking to a Thai pronounciation even on English words.

So, when discussing dinner, she asks me:

"Tirak, do you want your ham with kai dao or man farang ?

And, maybe you can guess how she pronounces "ham"..

Wich, inevitably, gives the question a totally different meaning.. biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

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Travelling through a country lane in the West of England my Thai mrs exclaims,"look lubbert".

Lannaman replies, " Yes, a lot of bad people chuck rubbish down on the lanes".

"But they were cute"

"Ahhh! Rabbits."

Mrs, "We must tell Lubbert about them when we get home."

Me," Tell who? Ah! you mean Robert"

Mrs," Yes tell Lubbert and me saw lubbert and you thought me say lubbert."

I think that one is hilarious. Thanks.

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My wife has a lovely habit of mixing English and Thai in a funny way,

sometimes sticking to a Thai pronounciation even on English words.

So, when discussing dinner, she asks me:

"Tirak, do you want your ham with kai dao or man farang ?

And, maybe you can guess how she pronounces "ham"..

Wich, inevitably, gives the question a totally different meaning.. biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

I don't speak Thai. I don't get this one. My wife speaks Thai and English. She says this one is hilarious.

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My wife has a lovely habit of mixing English and Thai in a funny way,

sometimes sticking to a Thai pronounciation even on English words.

So, when discussing dinner, she asks me:

"Tirak, do you want your ham with kai dao or man farang ?

And, maybe you can guess how she pronounces "ham"..

Wich, inevitably, gives the question a totally different meaning.. biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

I don't speak Thai. I don't get this one. My wife speaks Thai and English. She says this one is hilarious.

ham [ Thai version ] = slang for the male genital

kai dao [ Thai ] = fried eggs, but also slang for small breasts on a female

man farang [ Thai ] = potatoes, but it can also mean "man" ( oily, fat ) or slang for a female being horny

which gives -> "man farang" = "horny for a farang", or even "female body fluid for a farang"..

Quite hilarious indeed if you understand the double-speak biggrin.gif

My friend told me he had seen a Thai movie ( the silly-joke type ) where a Thai woman wanted to tell her Farang boyfriend

she wished to have sex with him, so she asked someone how she could say "man farang" [you make me horny] in English.

In the next scene you hear her screaming from the bedroom "potato, potato"... biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif very funny, actually..

Edited by JohanV

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My wife has a lovely habit of mixing English and Thai in a funny way,

sometimes sticking to a Thai pronounciation even on English words.

So, when discussing dinner, she asks me:

"Tirak, do you want your ham with kai dao or man farang ?

And, maybe you can guess how she pronounces "ham"..

Wich, inevitably, gives the question a totally different meaning.. biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

I don't speak Thai. I don't get this one. My wife speaks Thai and English. She says this one is hilarious.

Reason for edit: Already answered in the most delicate and tactful way imaginable. ;)

Edited by villagefarang

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Nice posts, very funny!

I've had a few confusing conversations with my g/f, once when she tried to describe a cock-fight 'same like a muay Thai but not same, not have people' 'HUH?' 'no, not have people, have chicken, boxing chicken!....honey, why you laugh? not funny, boxing chicken I don't like! Mai Dee!'

Another memorable moment of confusion was when we were discussing her sisters finances which involved the phrase 'help yourself'. Now this may, on the face of it, appear to be a rather innocuous phrase. I was tryiing to say that if her sister saved some money of her own every month (not likely, hasn't happened yet!) then maybe we could start helping her out a little bit as well.

So, I said , 'if your sister can help herself then maybe I can help her too, but if she can't help herself then I won't give her any money'

Deathly silence, fire behind the eyes, things are not looking good!

'Why you talk bad about my sister hmm?' followed by a string of Thai words which scared the dogs and had the children running for cover! (the cat raised an ear and went back to sleep. but cats are like that).

Turns out my knowledge of English is not as good as I thought it was... 'help yourself' is not something I should be saying when offering biscuits around, because it refers to masturbation!

I still get a clip round the ear when we're eating out and I offer her some food, 'here darlin, help yourself :D'

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Me: You know, when we had the party for our wedding at your house, your older brother told me that if I ever have trouble with you, I should just tell him and he will fix you.

Her: Yes. And now we see who fixes whom in my family. So, don't waste your time telling him about any troubles.

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Me: You know, when we had the party for our wedding at your house, your older brother told me that if I ever have trouble with you, I should just tell him and he will fix you.

Her: Yes. And now we see who fixes whom in my family. So, don't waste your time telling him about any troubles.

:lol: and now you got the brother in law in trouble!

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It's nice to see you two guys - kandahar and bifftastic - talking here.

it is obvious you know each other, and I just realize I'm in a CR thread, whilst living in Nong Khai rolleyes.gif

Actually, the idea in this thread is very funny and I think it might interest people outside CR.

Could it be possible to move it to a more nationwide section ??

Just an idea. I'm enjoying this either way.

Cheers wink.gif

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It's nice to see you two guys - kandahar and bifftastic - talking here.

it is obvious you know each other, and I just realize I'm in a CR thread, whilst living in Nong Khai rolleyes.gif

Actually, the idea in this thread is very funny and I think it might interest people outside CR.

Could it be possible to move it to a more nationwide section ??

Just an idea. I'm enjoying this either way.

Cheers wink.gif

Good idea, I think, like most threads, it's probably been done before but no harm in re-hashing it in my opinion.

Anyway, just jump in (you did already didn't you? :) )

I don't think Kandahar meant for this to be a CR only thread.

I liked the 'kai dow/man farang' quote btw :)

Edited by bifftastic

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