Flakey Farang Stories

[Joel Barlow 23]

Anyone who has been here for a while has stories of amazingly weird characters they’ve encountered. They can be interesting, funny, informative, and sometimes mind-bending.

First time I had a beer in a Jet Yod bar, something called New Moon or Blue Moon, after I’d been living in Amphoe Muang a couple months, I was half way through the beer when two guys started walloping on each other. Soon they were wrestling on top of the bar, and utensils were flying. Cops were called. An American from southern California went to wait outside for them, and when the arrived, told them, “We don’t need you here. Go away.”

Another time I was waiting to have dinner in Overlander Café, ChiangMai. I decided to visit the restroom. To get there, I brushed by a guy standing in the path to it, and felt some decidedly hostile tension. Back at my seat, my food came, and as I was about to dig in, there was a flurry of sudden movement. All the beers on the bar were quickly thrown into the town moat by the guy I’d brushed by. Apparently he’d bought two for two other guys, and they’d not bothered to say “Thank you”.

But those incidents hardly rival a couple I heard of:

A guy who ran a guest-house in ChiangMai and did translating work for the police tells of another guy who went into a police station, slammed a large packet down on the front counter, and exclaimed, “I got ripped off! This heroin’s no good!”

Back here in ChiangRai a story got around about a guy with a furnished apartment, who decided to try some Viagra, got all excited, had a heart attack and died. The very weird part: he’d been all alone…

Another time, at a print shop, the owner asked that I speak with a young Aussie who wanted some books made, but couldn’t decide how many. He was thinking about 200. I suggested he start with just a few, and asked if I could see the manuscript. His reply? “No.”

[jubby 43]

The Famous Joel Barlow

I haven't seen any odd farangs lately, not really odd anyway

I dont get out round town very late these days, so if it still goes on, I dont know about it.

Maybe I dont attract them anymore either

The Whistling farang was the only one I've heard about recently. But VF's seems to have gone to the back of the Bus these days and maybe he's took his whistle with him

Hey, Joel ; dont be a stranger

[sceadugenga 2,822]

Welcome back Joel, good to see you again.

I think there's two types of expats in Thailand, those who are flakey when they come here, and those who acquire flakiness after arriving.

There's good daytime people watching to be had around town, some even take my attention from the girls for a while.

[kandahar 17]

Jubby is quoted:

"Maybe I dont attract them anymore either."

The only way to avoid them is to be just a little more bizarre than they are. So, what are you telling us here?

[jubby 43]

Jubby is quoted:

"Maybe I dont attract them anymore either."

The only way to avoid them is to be just a little more bizarre than they are. So, what are you telling us here?

Nah, Sounds like Joel went through a stage where he attracted them too. Maybe he's lost his attractiveness same me

[jubby 43]

Jubby is quoted:

"Maybe I dont attract them anymore either."

The only way to avoid them is to be just a little more bizarre than they are. So, what are you telling us here?

Nah, Sounds like Joel went through a stage where he attracted them too. Maybe he's lost his attractiveness same me

[kandahar 17]

Okay.

Well, I never see any of them so I must be a bit more bizarre than they are. I guess that someone who does see them should ask them if they ever see me. Then we will know for sure if I am one of them or not.

Edited September 11, 2010 by kandahar

[Limbo 6]

Great to see you again Joel!

And the 'welcome' was predictable.

Please know that many respect you highly as you are

one of the few who really have the ability to share

knowledge about Chiang Rai, because of the simple reason

that you actually have it.

My respect!

Limbo

PS: At the occasion of the coctail party at the Dusit

I met the legendary Tayto again. We missed you.

[thailandbluegrass 9]

The flakiest farang I have ever run into was in Chiang Mai. I was hired by a guy named Jason Carter as an English teacher at a pre-kindergarten and kindergarten school in Chang Puak. This flake had only been in Thailand for less then a year and was just a teacher.

The school had a problem with a Filipina teacher that was mean and all the Thai's were to afraid to fire her so they asked Jason to do it. He said how could he due to having no power so they said "ok now you're the Director of the English department". Well that was all he needed to go off on a power trip. Hahaha. He fired her asss and then had Business cards made (thousands) with is picture and new position all over them.

He bought about 8 of those huge Buddha images and attached them to a necklace like the Thai's do. When I asked him about certain monks he was wearing who they were etc he replied "I don't know but he looks cool". He used to tell me "you know dude everyone tells me I look Thai". He is as white as a ghost. Lol. Other kinds of things he said were:

I think I was Thai in my past life

I am Buddha (I think he meant he was Buddhist haha)

Now I'm ajarn yai. He thought that meant big teacher but really it's a person who is already dead and has given his organs for medical use.

He has the "Farang gone Thai" syndrome

Anyways when salary day came the school said they could not pay us so I called him and said "What's up with this Jason? You're the English Program Director (although there are only 2 pre-school English teachers) and he told me "well if you don't like it you can find another job". <deleted>. I said "dude you're supposed to be helping the farang teachers not siding with he Thai's". His reply was "well dude I think your trouble so best you don't show up for class on Monday. Your fired !!!

What a flake this guy is. Nothing worse then a farang who goes native on us. Hahahah

Funny thing was that at some point when we talked and he seemed cool we would exchange emails and he sent me one saying that All of the Thai teachers there were lazy fux and were useless (just trying to act cool to me and trying to show his Director power hahaha).

Anyways I made sure that all of the teacher's were forwarded a copy of his email to me. </FONT></P>

Edited September 11, 2010 by thailandbluegrass

[maccaroni man 319]

i dont know if my most memorable guy qualifies as a flake but he did leave an impression. he was in his early 20's and from denmark a big, fun kid on holiday renting a bungalow from me. up to this point i had heard stories about guys coming to thailand and blowing through money like sand through fingers but had nevr met one until i met this guy. He fell in love with every bar girl he met which was every day, he immediatly took them to the gold shop, and was the cause of many a cat fight as he took all the girls from the same bar, he bought into a thai gym, he bought into a failing bar bought a pool table and sound system but the old owners required their nephew stay on as cashier. fell in love with one of his girls but she was 7mo pregnant so he married a different girl and managed to take her back to denmark. total money spent before returning home after 30 days 1,000,000 plus.

The flake of all flakes is a guy from australia, he ended up doing a runner leaving behind many debts, but the thing about him was the fact that he was a very likable guy. His main problem was that he simply did not know how to tell the truth, even on simple things he would lie. it was like a disease for him he could not help himslef, he was a cronic lier .

[Joel Barlow 23]

Then there was the “engineer” from England, who’d supposedly taught kindergarten.

I was teaching at Sammakkhi Wittayakhom, and word was out that we were hiring to start a new English language program. As nobody else wanted to deal with him, I was told to do the interview. As he sat in front of my desk, he somehow decided he needed to tell me about the three old men who often met to plot against him. They sometimes arranged to make his buttons fall off.

More to come…

[jubby 43]

Then there was the “engineer” from England, who’d supposedly taught kindergarten.

I was teaching at Sammakkhi Wittayakhom, and word was out that we were hiring to start a new English language program. As nobody else wanted to deal with him, I was told to do the interview. As he sat in front of my desk, he somehow decided he needed to tell me about the three old men who often met to plot against him. They sometimes arranged to make his buttons fall off.

More to come…

We wait with bated breath

So did he get the Job or not ? ........

Come to think of it, I know those three Guys too . Are you still Hireing ?

Edited September 12, 2010 by jubby

[sceadugenga 2,822]

I'd be worried about a kindy teacher who claimed his buttons kept falling off.....

[Joel Barlow 23]

When I was making Chiangrai guidebooks and writing Lanna history, I hoped to find a publisher, or at least distributor. A company in ChiangMai said that if I made text for a book on Thai massage, they’d do the pictures, and be favorably inclined towards publishing my other work. I replied that, although I’d experienced a lot of massage, I really didn’t know enough to write about it. They gave me 5 books on it, and told me to get information from them.

At the time, there was a pick-up volleyball game by the old airport, and a new Farang who joined in said he was hoping to study Thai massage, maybe at ChiangMai’s Old Medical Hospital. I didn’t think he could write the book, but figured he might be able to answer an important question I still had after reviewing those books, about sen lines, if he took the course offered there. We all agreed on a meeting. As my wife was there, speaking with an owner who had, like my wife, little English (the language negotiations were in), and I didn’t care much about the result, I made sure that tuition at the school and a month’s rental on a furnished apartment would be paid, then gave attention only to the conversation in Thai. The other Farang took over negotiations - and arranged the incredible deal that he and I would split all profits from foreign sales.

Then, when time came for school, he forgot, as he’d run out of pot and felt he had to rush of to Pai, MaeHongSon, to find some. There was no further discussion of publishing my other work, and I never got the massage books I’d lent to that Farang back. He later “bought” a bar on Jet Jod, but seemed to have a similar problem remembering that he ought to open it, with at least some regularity.

He liked to spray-paint the front of it, once “Loi Kratong Party” - which remained there quite a while. A few streamers and balloons, some steamer tray food, and viola, a festive occasion for all! Or, all who pay for drinks, anyway.

[jubby 43]

Is he still around Joel ? . Its not the Guy who sits stroking rabbits is it ?