Issan Wedding Costs

[powderpuff]

Are you forgetting that each couple of invited guests are supposed to bring a plain white envelope containing a few hundred baht? Free loaders would NOT be welcome.

300 people / 4 = 75 X 300 = 22,500 - goes a long way to defer the cost.

[FarangBuddha]

Are you forgetting that each couple of invited guests are supposed to bring a plain white envelope containing a few hundred baht? Free loaders would NOT be welcome.

300 people / 4 = 75 X 300 = 22,500 - goes a long way to defer the cost.

As I said in my posts, my intended predicts we should receive B 60,000-70,000 in gifts from the invitees/guests.

[rgs2001uk]

Are you forgetting that each couple of invited guests are supposed to bring a plain white envelope containing a few hundred baht? Free loaders would NOT be welcome.

300 people / 4 = 75 X 300 = 22,500 - goes a long way to defer the cost.

The last wedding I attended, the guests name was on the envelope they had been sent with their invitation.

There was a table just outside the reception hall manned by three young girls, the envelopes were opened and the amount in the envelope was logged in a ledger.

Those who had forgotten to bring their envelope were promptly handed one on the spot, before entering the reception hall.

Money collected and the ledger were handed over to the grooms father later in the evening.

Quite amusing to observe the alcohol on the tables, Leo and Sang Som for the masses Heineken and Black Label for the VIPs.

[EirikJohannesen]

My in laws paid for the party 70K (200 guest) whit the sin sod money.... My in laws and my wife never had any experience whit farangs, and my wife at that time age 20 had never had a boyfriend or sex. My in laws never asked me for sin sod, that was up to me how much I want to give.They only want a good life for theyr doughter. My in laws are very poor I mean lower lowest class, but the money was not that importen for them. I gave my wife 5 bhat Gold for the engagment and here parents 200K sin sod everybodey was happy and we still are 4 years later whit our 2 year old baby I am 45 if you wonder.

PS: I spent a long time to find this lovely family.

[zzaa09]

Are you forgetting that each couple of invited guests are supposed to bring a plain white envelope containing a few hundred baht? Free loaders would NOT be welcome.

300 people / 4 = 75 X 300 = 22,500 - goes a long way to defer the cost.

The last wedding I attended, the guests name was on the envelope they had been sent with their invitation.

There was a table just outside the reception hall manned by three young girls, the envelopes were opened and the amount in the envelope was logged in a ledger.

Those who had forgotten to bring their envelope were promptly handed one on the spot, before entering the reception hall.

Money collected and the ledger were handed over to the grooms father later in the evening.

Quite amusing to observe the alcohol on the tables, Leo and Sang Som for the masses Heineken and Black Label for the VIPs.

Interesting to note that Heineken is always looked upon as some high class taking, which for some is contradictory because of it's bitter after taste stereotyped history.

[Patronus]

30 and 45...sorry to disappoint you...as if it made any difference.

Which one is yours ?

[cardholder]

Are you forgetting that each couple of invited guests are supposed to bring a plain white envelope containing a few hundred baht? Free loaders would NOT be welcome.

300 people / 4 = 75 X 300 = 22,500 - goes a long way to defer the cost.

Have you actually been to a wedding ?

Many of the villagers will leave a good deal less and will ensure that they obtain maximum value from the amount of food and drink consumed (and taken away).

Do you really think that a 'turnstile' system operates at all weddings - I have seen villagers come and go with no sign of an envelope being handed over.

I do agree about the bookkeeping though - the ledgers would put some Western banks to shame !

[cardholder]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

[EirikJohannesen]

Are you forgetting that each couple of invited guests are supposed to bring a plain white envelope containing a few hundred baht? Free loaders would NOT be welcome.

300 people / 4 = 75 X 300 = 22,500 - goes a long way to defer the cost.

Have you actually been to a wedding ?

Many of the villagers will leave a good deal less and will ensure that they obtain maximum value from the amount of food and drink consumed (and taken away).

Do you really think that a 'turnstile' system operates at all weddings - I have seen villagers come and go with no sign of an envelope being handed over.

I do agree about the bookkeeping though - the ledgers would put some Western banks to shame !

Thats true, at my wedding we had 200 guest and we got 9000 Bhat back and a lot of the guest didnt pay. A Farang friend gave 60 Bhat LOL

Edited May 15, 2011 by EirikJohannesen

[FarangBuddha]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

Well I see the bitter expats are out in force now that they have found my op. They can rant against the sin-sot system to their hearts content.

I didn't ask for opinions on "buying" one's wife, only if the wedding costs I was being given sounded about right.

[cardholder]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

Well I see the bitter expats are out in force now that they have found my op. They can rant against the sin-sot system to their hearts content.

I didn't ask for opinions on "buying" one's wife, only if the wedding costs I was being given sounded about right.

The wedding costs will not sound 'about right' if you are including sin sod. Sin sod rants are in numerous other threads.

Please note, there is absolutely no bitterness in my post and I am certainly not a bitter expat. I thoroughly enjoy my life in Thailand and most things about the country.

Where did you meet your wife ?

[EirikJohannesen]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

You dont buy your wife. Sin sod is a gift. Some Farang just have more money to spend on their wife than other. 500K from my contry is not that much at all. small money spent on a wedding party in Norway.

[janverbeem]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

You dont buy your wife. Sin sod is a gift. Some Farang just have more money to spend on their wife than other. 500K from my contry is not that much at all. small money spent on a wedding party in Norway.

So in Norway they also buy their wives?

[sarahsbloke]

Well I see the bitter expats are out in force now that they have found my op. They can rant against the sin-sot system to their hearts content.

I didn't ask for opinions on "buying" one's wife, only if the wedding costs I was being given sounded about right.

I'm sorry you wish to view some of us as bitter, but many of us have seen friends fleeced by the 'village wedding' scams and really don't want it to happen to another foreigner.

It's not being bitter but using common sense. I really do hope your lady is honest and genuine.

But on the other hand, I know some girls who do a 'village wedding' every year. I can assure you they all feel the same way about their girls as you do.

And nobody in the village ever lets on about what is happening. If I may repeat, you have tried to discover why a 30yo girl has never been married and has no children?

I really do hope you know better that I do and have a happy future together.

[EirikJohannesen]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

You dont buy your wife. Sin sod is a gift. Some Farang just have more money to spend on their wife than other. 500K from my contry is not that much at all. small money spent on a wedding party in Norway.

So in Norway they also buy their wives?

I didnt say that.

[janverbeem]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

You dont buy your wife. Sin sod is a gift. Some Farang just have more money to spend on their wife than other. 500K from my contry is not that much at all. small money spent on a wedding party in Norway.

Since when is the amount of a gift stipulated by the receiving party.

It surely gives a different meaning to the phrase " gift "

[EirikJohannesen]

Well I see the bitter expats are out in force now that they have found my op. They can rant against the sin-sot system to their hearts content.

I didn't ask for opinions on "buying" one's wife, only if the wedding costs I was being given sounded about right.

I'm sorry you wish to view some of us as bitter, but many of us have seen friends fleeced by the 'village wedding' scams and really don't want it to happen to another foreigner.

It's not being bitter but using common sense. I really do hope your lady is honest and genuine.

But on the other hand, I know some girls who do a 'village wedding' every year. I can assure you they all feel the same way about their girls as you do.

And nobody in the village ever lets on about what is happening. If I may repeat, you have tried to discover why a 30yo girl has never been married and has no children?

I really do hope you know better that I do and have a happy future together.

My neighbor is 30+ and singel, never marired and 0 children she is just to shy, another neighbor girl have a wedding every year and rip off farang.So do your reserch verywell

"And nobody in the village ever lets on about what is happening" this is very true........

[sarahsbloke]

When making any financial decisions, I always try and do a best case, worst case, risk assessment

For a village wedding

1) Best case, you get everything you have estimated back and a loving wife.

2) Worst case, everything you pay out for is gone (sinsot, wedding fees, gold)

So you should base your wedding payments on what you can afford to lose, if a zero return causes you no harm (and I know loads of guys who would not worry about losing 500,000bht too much), then go for it and enjoy.

Edited May 15, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[EirikJohannesen]

Thanks allot for the mostly very helpful and informative replies (minus the usual T-V troll and bitter-expat posts).

Would those be the ones that don't accord with your own views ?

Sin Sot of B 200,000; from this, bride's parents will pay for the above described wedding at a cost of around B 100,000, with the parents to keep any remainder.

Are you happy to buy your wife for $6,500 ?

the B 45,000 of gold, which, though "hers" is actually property of the marriage. So it looks like a net out of pocket cost to me of around B 200,000 or about US$ 6500.

Should the marriage not prove to be a long-term success I doubt that the gold would be regarded as 'property of the marriage'.

Does that sound pretty reasonable for a never before married girl with no kids (who is also the only daughter in the family [so only one sin sot] who is partially college educated and a very "nice [i.e. non-bar]" girl?

How did you actually meet ?

Please don't misunderstand my comments, I genuinely wish you every success and happiness for the future - I just don't share your perceptions.

You dont buy your wife. Sin sod is a gift. Some Farang just have more money to spend on their wife than other. 500K from my contry is not that much at all. small money spent on a wedding party in Norway.

Since when is the amount of a gift stipulated by the receiving party.

It surely gives a different meaning to the phrase " gift "

Thats the point, the reciver shall not set the amount of sin sod if you follow the rules of sin sod, you shall do that. they can refuse your offer but I never heard that a sin sod have been refused.My brother in law come home realy upset after his GF parents asked for 100K in sin sod, my father in law refused him to marrie here, he said: somthing is wrong, thats not the way it shall be done.

[EirikJohannesen]

When making any financial decisions, I always try and do a best case, worst case, risk assessment

For a village wedding

1) Best case, you get everything you have estimated back.

2) Worst case, everything you pay out for is gone (sinsot, wedding fees, gold)

So you should base your wedding payments on what you can afford to lose, if a zero return causes you no harm (and I know loads of guys who would not worry about losing 500,000bht too much), then go for it and enjoy.

Have a divorce in farang countries then 500K is coins LOL then we talking millions of BhatB)

And btw its no problem to find a girl for free...

[SantiSuk]

I would say ZERO was the correct amount to spend on a village wedding.

Feeding a load of people you don't know, just so the in-laws can have a big brag.

What do I know though!

That's just about the most miserable comment I have seen on TV in a long time. I wouldn't want to be Sarah.

[kdc1899]

There really is no tradition in Thailand related to an engagement ring ( 2 months salary in farangland?)

Been married for 5 years here. First and only marriage. Have not yet done village wedding (Amphur only).

If I do a village wedding I will consider the sin sod and party expenses as the same as what a engagement ring would cost in our culture.

Never will I purchase a gold colored rock though.

The culture thang can't be all one sided

[prakhonchai nick]

Village weddings for Thais come in 2 parts. Part 1 is individul parties for the bride and groom at their respective homes. This is an all day event on the wedding day eve. Envelopes are collected from those that give - and some do really give as little as 20bt and othere nothing! Part 2 is the following morning when the wedding actually takes place, the dowry is displayed to the oohs and ahs of those that can be bothered to come, more drinking and eating follows and it all comes to an end.

Just returned from a Part 1 party of the groom - my next door neighbour. he's 18. His wife whom he will marry this morning is 15 and still at school! <deleted>! Never saw the "husband to be" last night. He was off in the town drinking with his mates.

I am not a bitter farang, nor do I believe Cardholder is nor anyone else. We are realists. I have seen many marriages fail, only for the girl to go through the same again a few months later with more huge dowries. And no doubt planning further follow ups. They seem not to be shy about this!

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I am totally against dowries. I have given my wife a nice home and everything she could never have expected had she married the local lad that MIL picked out for her 13 years ago, solely because he offered 40,000bt + gold. And the wife had never even met him! Fortunately I arrived on the scene at the same time, and she told her Mother she would not marry the local lad. That 13 years was a crime in rural Isaan. Girls are expected to do what Mothers want.

Waste your money if you want on dowries, parties for the villagers (none of whom will ever say thank-you). Perhaps you have enough! Otherwise plough it into the future. Your home, and perhaps future children.

Whatever - Good Luck to both of you. Just hope you never regret the expense.

[prakhonchai nick]

Thats the point, the reciver shall not set the amount of sin sod if you follow the rules of sin sod, you shall do that. they can refuse your offer but I never heard that a sin sod have been refused.My brother in law come home realy upset after his GF parents asked for 100K in sin sod, my father in law refused him to marrie here, he said: somthing is wrong, thats not the way it shall be done.

So what you are saying is that you offer an amount to marry the daughter, the parents can refuse if they think it is not enough,

Rather like an auction with a reserve price.

NEXT BIDDER PLEASE!

[FarangBuddha]

Well I see the bitter expats are out in force now that they have found my op. They can rant against the sin-sot system to their hearts content.

I didn't ask for opinions on "buying" one's wife, only if the wedding costs I was being given sounded about right.

I'm sorry you wish to view some of us as bitter, but many of us have seen friends fleeced by the 'village wedding' scams and really don't want it to happen to another foreigner.

It's not being bitter but using common sense. I really do hope your lady is honest and genuine.

But on the other hand, I know some girls who do a 'village wedding' every year. I can assure you they all feel the same way about their girls as you do.

And nobody in the village ever lets on about what is happening. If I may repeat, you have tried to discover why a 30yo girl has never been married and has no children?

I really do hope you know better that I do and have a happy future together.

Thank you for your good wishes and I appreciate your concerns. As we all know, any relationship is fraught with uncertainties, and cross-cultural ones all the more so. I mean, do any of us "really" know what we are getting...either the groom or the bride? And yes, anyone who has spent some amount of time in Thailand has horror stories to tell of relationships and marriages that have been disasters for various reasons (including the "serial bride").

As previously stated, I have lived in Thailand for over a decade, speak Thai well enough to make myself understood (and understand others). I have know my fiancee for about 9 months, and have also visited the family upcountry. As for why she has never been married, she has been working hard in Bangkok in a low-paying service job for the past 6-7 years (and has the friends and photos to prove it) to help support her family and never had the time or money for much socializing.

Again, thank you for your concern but at some point, if the right one presents herself, one has to take the plunge

[prakhonchai nick]

For the benefit of all, and the consideration of Farang Buddha and anyone considering a village wedding, I will update post number 53.

This morning at the specific request of my wife and daughter, I took them to the wedding ceremony. We joined a convoy of cars and trucks from our village to the Brides village some 15kms distant. On the way the convoy carrying some 100 people stopped 3 times to buy bottles of whisky, most of which had been consumed upon arrival.

At the Brides village vehicles were parked and then commenced the usual walk through the village with music and many drunk people "dancing". At 8.30 we reached the Brides home and everyone sat at the tables. However the groom had to come separately, and a group of people and the music makers went off to fetch him. He arrived almost 1 hour later.

During that hour, everyone had eaten and drunk what was provided. One old lady on our table surreptitiously took the bottle of lao cow and put it in her bag. I noticed that the lao cow had also disappeared from the other tables

The groom disappeared into the home of the bride for the marriage ceremony, which was a signal for most of the "guests" to depart. Nobody got to see the 15 year old Bride!

In the background a large fight took place between half a dozen drunk lads, which had to be broken up by some of the older women.

The Brides home was a corrugated iron shack with an earth floor. It would be nice to think that the dowry would be used to at least provide a concrete floor, but as she has 2 older sisters both married with dowries duly paid, it would seem not to be a priority!

This situation is far from unusual. Guests rarely wait to see the ceremony and bottles regularly are taken away and fights happen often. Sad but true.

If that is someones idea of fun and happiness - think again!

[cardholder]

For the benefit of all, and the consideration of Farang Buddha and anyone considering a village wedding, I will update post number 53.

This morning at the specific request of my wife and daughter, I took them to the wedding ceremony. We joined a convoy of cars and trucks from our village to the Brides village some 15kms distant. On the way the convoy carrying some 100 people stopped 3 times to buy bottles of whisky, most of which had been consumed upon arrival.

At the Brides village vehicles were parked and then commenced the usual walk through the village with music and many drunk people "dancing". At 8.30 we reached the Brides home and everyone sat at the tables. However the groom had to come separately, and a group of people and the music makers went off to fetch him. He arrived almost 1 hour later.

During that hour, everyone had eaten and drunk what was provided. One old lady on our table surreptitiously took the bottle of lao cow and put it in her bag. I noticed that the lao cow had also disappeared from the other tables

The groom disappeared into the home of the bride for the marriage ceremony, which was a signal for most of the "guests" to depart. Nobody got to see the 15 year old Bride!

In the background a large fight took place between half a dozen drunk lads, which had to be broken up by some of the older women.

The Brides home was a corrugated iron shack with an earth floor. It would be nice to think that the dowry would be used to at least provide a concrete floor, but as she has 2 older sisters both married with dowries duly paid, it would seem not to be a priority!

This situation is far from unusual. Guests rarely wait to see the ceremony and bottles regularly are taken away and fights happen often. Sad but true.

If that is someones idea of fun and happiness - think again!

Is this particular to your village or, is it pretty typical of Thai villages in general ?

I have been to 4 weddings (and unlike the film, 2 funerals) and whilst I have not witnessed any fights I have certainly seen excessive drinking at all of them (many of the Thai guys at 8.00 a.m. just seemed to be 'topping up' from the night before). The biggest scavengers though have been women and I have seen them shoveling food into carrier bags to take home.

[TheWalkingMan]

cardholder,

I have only been to one wedding in Issan and there was a pretty big fight. I was really surprised and I was also surprised and the number of security people there. Sort of a shocker to me.

TheWalkingMan

[prakhonchai nick]

Most of the weddings I have attended have been close to my village and they have all been the same. This one was 15kms away near to Ban Kruat. I have no reason to believe anywhere else is any different.

[prakhonchai nick]

cardholder,

I have only been to one wedding in Issan and there was a pretty big fight. I was really surprised and I was also surprised and the number of security people there. Sort of a shocker to me.

TheWalkingMan

Security people are usually in attendance at all local weddings. Cannot speak for the rest of Thailand. At a joint wedding 2 farangs and 2 thai sisters, there were more than a dozen security (not sure what they were) but they had 3 AK47's between them!

However no security today.