animatic Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I can feel the sobriety flowing in all directions like a man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen Like private parts to the Gods are we, they play with us for their sport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChangers Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 ******NEWSFLASH****** Incident at Chiang Mai Kebab stall .......... Farang found ordering kebab before 01:30 hrs ......... farang found complaining of taste, texture and quality....... Incident at Chiang Mai "Nightclub" ...... Farang spotted wearing distinct loud shirt and shorts.....looking ashamed in the company of what they are trying to describe as great niece........ Incident Chiang Mai ........... Late middle age Farang ........ moment of crisis ...... wearing vest, shorts, balding and pony tail ........ just noticed young people laughing at him ...... Recommend 2 nights suicide watch CMU Major Incidents ...... farang getting run over ...... not appearing to have "God like" status crossing roads ..... seemed to be full of "Reality drug" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I was running on memory from the TV from back in the 80's? Never offended Rubl or I would have stood on a bucket with a frog on my shoulder and gone "Wibble" at passers by ....... Black Adder 2 Totally unprofessional, my dear chap. I've got the scripts on my PC, that's how it should be done. Mind you, far be it from me to complain, I'd rather have my tongue beaten wafer-thin by a steak tenderizer and then stapled to the floor with a croquet hoop Major Star, Blackadder goes forth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DumFarang Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Dr. Johnson: (places two manuscripts on the table, but picks up the top one) Here it is, sir: the very cornerstone of English scholarship. This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language. Prince George: Hmm. Edmund: Every single one, sir? Dr. Johnson: (confidently) Every single word, sir! Edmund: (to Prince) Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafribularities. (or maybe `contrafribblarities', coming from the word `fribble'. A closed-caption decoder would help here.) Dr. Johnson: What? Edmund: `Contrafribularites', sir? It is a common word down our way... Dr. Johnson: dam_n! (writes in the book) Edmund: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm anispeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulation. Dr. Johnson: What? What? WHAT? Ink and Incapability, Blackadder II From the same ...... "Once upon a time there was a sausage called Baldryick and he lived happily ever after" "Sausage? SAUSAGE!?!?!!" Ok off topic but we need a bit of humour to prepare for the next few weeks of doom and gloom xx No offence, but my version says Baldrick: And *this* is mine (takes a small piece of paper from the front of his trousers). My magnificent octopus. Edmund: (takes it) This is your novel, Baldrick? (unfolds it) Baldrick: Yeah -- I can't stand long books. Edmund: (reads) "Once upon a time, there was a lovely little sausage called `Baldrick', and it lived happily ever after." Baldrick: It's semi-autobiographical. Edmund: And it's completely utterly awful. Dr. Johnson will probably love it. Timeless. It'll be funny in a thousand years as long as records are kept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animatic Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Dr. Johnson: (places two manuscripts on the table, but picks up the top one) Here it is, sir: the very cornerstone of English scholarship. This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language. Prince George: Hmm. Edmund: Every single one, sir? Dr. Johnson: (confidently) Every single word, sir! Edmund: (to Prince) Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafribularities. (or maybe `contrafribblarities', coming from the word `fribble'. A closed-caption decoder would help here.) Dr. Johnson: What? Edmund: `Contrafribularites', sir? It is a common word down our way... Dr. Johnson: dam_n! (writes in the book) Edmund: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm anispeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulation. Dr. Johnson: What? What? WHAT? Ink and Incapability, Blackadder II From the same ...... "Once upon a time there was a sausage called Baldryick and he lived happily ever after" "Sausage? SAUSAGE!?!?!!" Ok off topic but we need a bit of humour to prepare for the next few weeks of doom and gloom xx No offence, but my version says Baldrick: And *this* is mine (takes a small piece of paper from the front of his trousers). My magnificent octopus. Edmund: (takes it) This is your novel, Baldrick? (unfolds it) Baldrick: Yeah -- I can't stand long books. Edmund: (reads) "Once upon a time, there was a lovely little sausage called `Baldrick', and it lived happily ever after." Baldrick: It's semi-autobiographical. Edmund: And it's completely utterly awful. Dr. Johnson will probably love it. Timeless. It'll be funny in a thousand years as long as records are kept. Once more onto the beach dear friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I'm Brian and so's my (non Isaan) wife! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChangers Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I was running on memory from the TV from back in the 80's? Never offended Rubl or I would have stood on a bucket with a frog on my shoulder and gone "Wibble" at passers by ....... Black Adder 2 Totally unprofessional, my dear chap. I've got the scripts on my PC, that's how it should be done. Mind you, far be it from me to complain, I'd rather have my tongue beaten wafer-thin by a steak tenderizer and then stapled to the floor with a croquet hoop Major Star, Blackadder goes forth Just tucking into Edmund: Oh god, this place stinks like a pair of armoured trousers after the Hundred Years War! Baldrick, have you been eating dung again? Percy: (rushes out the living room, dirtied) My Lord! Success! Edmund: What? Percy: (drags Edmund into the living room) After literally an hour's ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold. PURE GOLD! Edmund: Are you sure? Percy: Yes, My Lord! Behold! (uncovers the top; their faces get bathed in green light) Edmund: Percy, it's green. Percy: That's right, My Lord. Edmund: Yes, Percy, I don't want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold -- that's why it's called gold. What you have dis- covered, if it has a name, is some green. thank you Rudl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I hope that with my small and rather limited participation in this discussion I've helped ensure that at least some ex-pats in Thailand have behaved a bit better than normally can be expected from high-standing gentlemen and ladies who are deprived of their well-earned alcoholic drink. Good night all of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robsamui Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Whats the point in a satirical post like this? Ah... Thai visa does enjoy winding up the expats with antagonistic posts like the above ive just wasted 10 minutes of my life again... thanks TV for another great informative post... sorry - satirical.... what is the point in wit? What is the point in sarcasm? Te point in satire is that . . . here it comes . . . it's satirical. I have noticed that a significant number of people don't 'read' any more - they 'scan'. which doesn't say much for the overall quality of the responses on the more general topics! R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I'm Brian and so's my (non Isaan) wife! He's not the messiah...he's a very naughty boy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FOODLOVER Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Would they be shirtless to avoid being labelled? I believe black, red, yellow and multi colors are already taken, so shirtless seems the best option I think the Ministry of Boobs may find this illegal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TongueThaied Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Notthenation really does manage to encapsulate the humour of Thailand fantastically. Someone should nominate it for an award. I nominate it for "The Onion Award." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outofoz Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animatic Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) And the Delirium Tremens are hitting a fever pitch, farangs seen careening off of soi dogs and Tuk Tuks. Some even remember where they are through the shakes. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools: For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway. He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. --Dean Martin Edited July 3, 2011 by animatic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm Brian and so's my (non Isaan) wife! He's not the messiah...he's a very naughty boy.... Life of Brian took about 15 hours, so it's midday on Election Day, my wife has voted, picked up some more beer (hidden in a noodle box), moving on to the Holy Grail! I'll report back later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geriatrickid Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 At the inauguration I have to wear the Russian Codpiece it always scares the red shirts. ....it seems you having a cunning plan... Ahh another fan of BA. Truly, an example of creative genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DumFarang Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 "Black Adder the Third" Ink and Incapability (1987) [about the dictionary] Blackadder: No, sir, it is not. It's the most pointless book since How To Learn French was translated into French. Prince George: You haven't got anything personal against Johnson, have you Blackadder? Blackadder: Good Lord, sir, not at all. In fact, I had never heard of him until you mentioned him just now. Prince George: But you do think he's a genius...? Blackadder: No, sir, I do not. Unless, of course, the definition of "genius" in his ridiculous Dictionary is "a fat dullard or wobblebottom; a pompous ass with sweatly dewflaps". Prince George: Ha. close shave there, then. Lucky you warned me. I was about to embrace this unholy arse to the royal bosom. Blackadder: I'm delighted to have been instrumental of keeping your bosom free of <deleted>, sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm Brian and so's my (non Isaan) wife! He's not the messiah...he's a very naughty boy.... Life of Brian took about 15 hours, so it's midday on Election Day, my wife has voted, picked up some more beer (hidden in a noodle box), moving on to the Holy Grail! I'll report back later! And now (later) for something completely (same, same but) different! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DumFarang Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm Brian and so's my (non Isaan) wife! He's not the messiah...he's a very naughty boy.... Life of Brian took about 15 hours, so it's midday on Election Day, my wife has voted, picked up some more beer (hidden in a noodle box), moving on to the Holy Grail! I'll report back later! And now (later) for something completely (same, same but) different! A man with two butts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) And now (later) for something completely (same, same but) different! A man with two butts! The Man with Two Brains is one of Steve Martins best - I'll dig that out next! Bless'ed' are the cheesemakers! Miss Muuurmeallmelay! (That's not a Thai lady politician) Edited July 3, 2011 by trevorg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Bless'ed' are the cheesemakers! Are you the Judean's peoples front ?..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyDee Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Bless'ed' are the cheesemakers! Are you the Judean's peoples front ?..... well I am the peoples front of Judea so he must be a splitter if he is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johncat1 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 The sober ex pats can buy their booze from the drunken Thais no problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf5370 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) Darn its a joke - I was looking forward to the free booze via IV at the local hospital On the advanced election the other day, I forgot and went into 7-11 to get a bottle of Sang Som (folks were over) - "no can do", 7-11 girl says, pointing at sign in Thai saying election day no drinking - my father was with me and not being able to read Thai looked at me. The girl then says, "No alcohol today - erection" - to whit I took full advantage and explained to my dad that she refused him alcohol because she feared for his erection! BTW crossed the road and puchased a bottle for 39 baht cheaper at a mum and dad's grocery store (after wading through the outside tables littered with drunk Thai tuktuk drivers). Edited July 3, 2011 by wolf5370 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Bless'ed' are the cheesemakers! Are you the Judean's peoples front ?..... well I am the peoples front of Judea so he must be a splitter if he is Ah but, have you got your own Venezuelan beaver, several cheese supplying websites need you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanuman1 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Bless'ed' are the cheesemakers! Are you the Judean's peoples front ?..... well I am the peoples front of Judea so he must be a splitter if he is Ah but, have you got your own Venezuelan beaver, several cheese supplying websites need you. Well I've got a lesser-spotted Thai beaver but I do like dairy products. Am I viable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Ah but, have you got your own Venezuelan beaver, several cheese supplying websites need you. Well I've got a lesser-spotted Thai beaver but I do like dairy products. Am I viable? If you can milk it, you have a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coastalmatty Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 You can only laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Stay on topic please. One post removed for profanities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theanimaster Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I think this pretty much sums up what they have always been thinking about us.... all along. All this time. Well, it's good to have gotten ~that~ off the chest, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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