Problems With My Thai Girlfriend

[Theyreallrubbish]

To give an added perspective, I've had a few GFs here who were never happier than when I had NO money. As they thought that since I couldn't afford to go out other women wouldn't be able to see me and steal me away.

If your woman just wants you to stay home all the time so she can cook all day to feed you up to get you fat so other women won't want you, then its probably genuine love.

I've had a few like this and I'm nothing special, so they're not impossible to find.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

The main problem in this thread is the OP stated he is in his mid 20's and this forum is mostly populated by 60+ pensioners.

Obviously their comments refer to the experience of a "mature" person dating a much younger lady.

Maybe TV should set up a section for seniors and one for younger people ?

I don't understand your point.

The lady is obviously being up-front and sincere, big kudos to her. She is essentially demanding a very high dowry in exchange for a commitment.

Are you suggesting that the fact that he's young means she's more likely to honor that commitment?

I think it's true that if he were a fat bald old guy the price would be higher, but even if the above is true I think it's very good advice that he go look for another mate, not only is her price too high, the brazen manner in which she made her demands is in everyone's opinion here (except yours?) a very poor indicator of future peace and harmony in the relationship.

[Longbow212]

and what exactly is she bringing to the table? She views you as a cash cow. She does not respect you otherwise she would never ask for something like that. I would be willing to bet her family put her up to this......

About the culture difference - you both need to compromise, tell her this and that in Thai culture a Thai man that can provide all that she is asking for would not be interested in her - only people in the same position in society.

Get rid mate she is taking the piss. Plenty of nice girls out here that would really value a normal decent guy and never disrespect you in this way.

[rijb]

my wife's response... "so stupid"

[DP25]

Don't believe this story for a second. Look at the guy's other topics, he apparently speaks and reads Thai and only last year had another girlfriend that suddenly left him to marry her brother. Guy in his 20s that speaks and reads Thai seriously being in this situation is ridiculous.

[SlyAnimal]

Troll??

If not a troll, then for gods sake run from this girl.

When you're a similar age, good thai girls will look for similar qualities that western women look for. Financial stability is of course still important, eg no retiring at 30 and expecting to live off her income. But so long as you have around 20-30k+ a month, so that you can provide for a family it should be fine, although of course more is always better

If she really wants more than that (30k is about the equivalent of a Thai guy in isaan with a doctorate in a good job), then she's aiming very high indeed and must be super duper hot lol

[Jake829]

I can't see any positive replies at all? She's a very nice lady and she will be a very good wife. She said in her culture, the boyfriend pays for everything. I tried explaining to her that sometimes we can go dutch when we go out for meals. But she said if the boyfriend doesn't pay for the girlfriend, then what's the point of being a boyfriend to a thai lady.

Tell her, in your culture the wife works hard while the man relax all the day to recover from having sex all the night.....And you expect that she gives you half her salary for beer allowance. And you need more than one wife because she just don't earn enough....

LOL might try that one out sometime

[Styx]

Don't understand why some guys in Thailand do things they would never do back home. If a western girl ask for two houses, car etc. would he

provide it? In Thailand it's just enough to accept "it's not her fault they are poor and she just wants to make her parents happy"

and the guy hands out his credit card.

[elektrified]

If I choose to break up with her, I am potentially risking losing a very good and rare thai wife.

Nonsense you would be doing yourself a favor. Very good and 'rare' wife? LOL

Dump her. There are millions available in this country and many don't want anything from you.

[gentman]

Generally speaking, all these conditions will need a lifetime to build up...to have them in 2 years you might as well ask her to fly kite...

[edwinclapham]

The Op is very confused./ bored etc.

" Posted 2011-07-16 15:06:19

To robblok : I know there must be plently of nice Thai girls around. I consider myself a very choosy person when it comes to looking for a partner and this is why I chose her. She is a very nice girl. Sometimes she treats me and I treat her. In the end, it turns out this little "angel" of mine is a devil in disguise."

farang000999, on 2011-07-16 15:08:52, said:

Consider an STD test. Who knows how many brothers she has.

"Thanks for the warning. Now I have to do a test in 1 month's time and and then another one 6 months later. "

Despite having never partaken in sexual intercourse

"We never had sex before. If she were to have sex with me after meeting me the first time or subsequent times, I will be very wary of her. She even said she will only do it after marriage. You see, she is not a bargirl, doesn't engage in sex easily, has a decent job. She paints herself as an innocent and nice girl and I thought I found a decent girl.I guess even angels have their wicked schemes."

Edited by AngelofDeath, 2011-07-16 15:56:31.

"Yes I did mentioned the STD tests. Because we frenched before and I don't know if she has any ulcers when we frenched. I can assume that I won't get 'freebies' from her but I don't think that's a responsible way of behaving. Anything can happen. I'm just being careful. After all, I'm dealing with an unfaithful person. I don't know what other secrets she has. "

http://www.thaivisa....l__angelofdeath

Edited May 3, 2012 by edwinclapham

[Madivad]

Tell her, in your culture the wife works hard while the man relax all the day to recover from having sex all the night.....And you expect that she gives you half her salary for beer allowance. And you need more than one wife because she just don't earn enough....

Exactly right, and as Styx has said just above, why would anyone put up with crap like this? You wouldn't at home, so don't put up with it here

[JurgenG]

The main problem in this thread is the OP stated he is in his mid 20's and this forum is mostly populated by 60+ pensioners.

Obviously their comments refer to the experience of a "mature" person dating a much younger lady.

Maybe TV should set up a section for seniors and one for younger people ?

I don't understand your point.

The lady is obviously being up-front and sincere, big kudos to her. She is essentially demanding a very high dowry in exchange for a commitment.

Are you suggesting that the fact that he's young means she's more likely to honor that commitment?

I think it's true that if he were a fat bald old guy the price would be higher, but even if the above is true I think it's very good advice that he go look for another mate, not only is her price too high, the brazen manner in which she made her demands is in everyone's opinion here (except yours?) a very poor indicator of future peace and harmony in the relationship.

First remove the Thai nationality of the girl from the equation. I come from European middle class. To have fun, you can have fun with everybody. But before getting married, especially for a girl, you check if your future husband will fit with your friends and family and will provide you and your kids with the life style you expect. It's a bit straight forward but it's true.

Then put back the culture and language difference in the equation and you have the reason of the blunt, brazen manner the question has been asked.

I don't say the OP should stay with his girlfriend but because he seems to like her, first make sure to understand why she asks what she asks.

[David48]

Is that a stylised version of the OP for critical appraisal,

The potential Fiancée’s 'brother',

Or something that you finding strolling the Toll Roads in Thailand ... did I spell that correctly ... I'm not sure?

[carra]

It seems like the overall consensus is that her expectations are over the top. I thought I was the only one who think that way. But, if you were to look it in another way, her expectations are very challenging. I'm sure most guys wouldn't back down to this type of challenges, isn't it?

Yes, I agreed that my girlfriend is being honest. Hopefully I can change her mind. I have 2 years to change her mind.

If I choose to break up with her, I am potentially risking losing a very good and rare thai wife.

As I mentioned, I am tired of going in and out of relationship. I'm sure some of you felt the same way as I do.

How are you losing a good and rare thai wife, she is blackmailing you. do what she says or she will leave. Don't even wait 2 years, get shut of her right now

[chrisinth]

Is that a stylised version of the OP for critical appraisal,

The potential Fiancée’s 'brother',

Or something that you finding strolling the Toll Roads in Thailand ... did I spell that correctly ... I'm not sure?

Think it might be the potential wife................

[Jake829]

Beginning to think its a troll to stir up a reaction yet again on this never ending topic, if it is genuine he's gotta ask himself would he give in to those demands from a girl from his own country..I think not..case closed

[koknia]

troll

Edited May 3, 2012 by koknia

[GreenSnapper]

Don't understand why some guys in Thailand do things they would never do back home. If a western girl ask for two houses, car etc. would he

provide it?.

Millions of Western men do it.

It's called "divorce".

[Madivad]

Don't understand why some guys in Thailand do things they would never do back home. If a western girl ask for two houses, car etc. would he

provide it?.

Millions of Western men do it.

It's called "divorce".

I have to disagree... The result of NOT doing/providing those things is divorce. ROFL

[bunnaag]

Beginning to think its a troll to stir up a reaction yet again on this never ending topic, if it is genuine he's gotta ask himself would he give in to those demands from a girl from his own country..I think not..case closed

if he is old enough to have a girl friend he should be able to solve this problem without asking TV members for advice.

[David48]

Beginning to think its a troll to stir up a reaction yet again on this never ending topic, if it is genuine he's gotta ask himself would he give in to those demands from a girl from his own country..I think not..case closed

Better when you use one of these ...

[jackinbkk]

Can't believe people are replying to this. <Thinks to himself, oh sh*t! I just replied >

[AngelofDeath]

I don't know why so many people want to call me troll. I know I rarely post here but that doesn't make me a troll. Besides, this forum is mostly catered for things happening in Thailand. Point number 2 would be that there are a lot of posters who has decades more experiences than me. It's always a plus to have wise men giving advice to young guy who has less experiences in life.

By the way, some of you are confusing my previous thai girlfriend and current thai girlfriend. They are 2 different person. The first one has married her "brother"(boyfriend in reality). No more contact.

At least there's some glimmer of hope for this relationship to work out. For example, post 72. Thank you for the hope.

The point about soap opera is so true. When she is watching soap opera, I'm as good as invisible.

Sometimes in a relationship, one has to sacrifice a little to achieve something, isn't it? The important thing is she loves me and I love her too.

To answer the questions about whether I would buy 2 houses, 1 condos etc for a girlfriend from my country, the answer would be no. Why? Because of the different currency being used. I can buy a meal with a dollar in Thailand but not in my country.

I haven't factored in the sinsod, life insurance, marriage expenses etc. Now accomplishing what she wants seems like mission impossible. I think I will continue this relationship for another 3 or 6 months or 1 year to see if things change for the better.

Anyway, thank you all for being so helpful. I have never thought of she blackmailing me etc. I only know that she loves me and I love her.

Edited May 3, 2012 by AngelofDeath

[TommoPhysicist]

I don't know why so many people want to call me troll. I know I rarely post here but that doesn't make me a troll. Besides, this forum is mostly catered for things happening in Thailand. Point number 2 would be that there are a lot of posters who has decades more experiences than me. It's always a plus to have wise men giving advice to young guy who has less experiences in life.

I think you are getting called a troll because nobody believes a real person can be as stupid as your post makes you appear. Unless you are Rod Stewart, nobody considers buying two houses for a woman who doesn't like them very much.

(and I think even Rod limits it to one house)

Edited May 3, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[kevjohn]

It's always a plus to have wise men giving advice to young guy who has less experiences in life.

So what is the advice received from these wise men?

[Semper]

Sometimes in a relationship, one has to sacrifice a little to achieve something

Probably, but 10 million Baht ?

.

Edited May 3, 2012 by Semper

[TommoPhysicist]

Sometimes in a relationship, one has to sacrifice a little to achieve something

Probably, but 10 milion Baht ?

I like to place that limit at 1,000bht

[Nowhereman60]

Why do I feel troll when I read this. Oh also why didn't see add the sin sot to the list. I love to see that cost.

[Styx]

probably this discussion doesn't make any sense anyway. At the moment you can't provide the lifestyle she demands, so just don't think too much as Thais say, have fun and see how it goes. And in case the relationship doesn't work there is plenty of other girls.