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:o A young blonde woman in Newport, Ky was so

depressed that she decided to end her life by

throwing herself into the Ohio River. She went down

to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid

water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering

on the edge of the Dock, crying. He took pity on her

and said, "Look, you have so much to live for." I'm

off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can

stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you

and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he

slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll

keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to

lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her

life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid

her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he

brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit,

and they made passionate love until dawn. Three

weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was

discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she

explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and

he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the

Argosy Casino, and we never leave Lawrenceburg,

Indiana."

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