Is Your Average Thai Woman Desperate To Get Into A Serious Relationship?

[thenoilif]

I've been living in BKK for almost two years now and I have dated quite a few women from various walks of life including shop girls, uni students, office girls with bachelor degrees and even business and high-so women with graduate degrees and ranging in age from 20 to 28. I've noticed that it doesn't take them more than 1 or two dates before they are ready to get into a serious relationship, with most knowing that they like you after just one meeting.

Given that I've experienced this from every woman I've dated here it seems to be more of cultural thing since dating in the west is much more methodical and a certain progression usually occurs that takes time before either party decides to take it to serious relationship status. It come me off guard when I first started dating women here and I actually got the whole clingy, possessive vibe and ran for the hills after a few early dates because women who get emotionally attached that early in the US are considered "psycho" and are avoided like the plague. When I try and explain this to Thai women they accuse me of being a playboy and leading them on if I don't express the same feelings.

As I stated previously none of these girls were prostitues. They were all either in college or had at least a bachelors degree. Some were Westernized, Suhk area regulars so they spoke good english, and had studied abroad and had foreign bf's in the past while others were just normal women, never even spoken to a foreigner and only had Thai bf's in the past. I would have said that they were just desperate but many of them were very confident and accomplished and I didn't get that desperation vibe from them at any time. They express these feelings straight faced and with conviction.

Each lady started saying things like "I like you", "I miss you", and even in a couple of cases "I love you" after the first date. I understand that love has a different meaning to Thai's than to Westerners but they are still expressing a high level of interest in you when they say it.

I know for a fact that more and more Thai women are opening up to the idea of dating foreign men, and not just for financial support but because they think that foreign men will treat them with more respect, and be more loving and faithful than the Thai men they dated in the past. Has this created a supply/demand problem which is prompting Thai women to be more aggressive with how they date foreigners or are they like this with all guys or do they think that is what foreign men like?

Let me know what you think?

Edited November 7, 2012 by thenoilif

[rics21]

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[David48]

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I agree 100% ... but was to shy to say that.

[wellred]

Got talking to one girl last week and within 30 mins... 'I love you'. Hmmmm

She was cute though so ill look her up when I come next.

[SeaVisionBurma]

She was cute though so ill look her up when I come next.

Groan. Very mature.

[Dancealot]

An average Thai woman is not desperate. A serious relationship is built on mutual attractive feelings and shared trust.

They are two separate considerations which are hard to compare, in any culture.

This i why i cannot vote.

[Dancealot]

She was cute though so ill look her up when I come next.

Groan. Very mature.

Who said he was mature..

[Ulysses G.]

An average Thai woman is not desperate. A serious relationship is built on mutual attractive feelings and shared trust.

They are two separate considerations which are hard to compare, in any culture.

The OP is talking about women who specifically target foreigners - mostly for monetary reasons - and who are mostly insincere about emotional attachments to these guys. They are not the norm.

One thing that a lot of newbies do not realize is that many young Thai women drift in and out of sex work and they never let on what they might have been doing a few months before. It is almost impossible for a foreigner to pick out a prostitute if they are not in that mode. Average Thai women are not telling men that they "love" them on the first few dates.

[thenoilif]

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I agree 100% ... but was to shy to say that.

Thanks for the constructive and informative posts guys.

[Spoonman]

I had to vote 1,1,1.

[thenoilif]

An average Thai woman is not desperate. A serious relationship is built on mutual attractive feelings and shared trust.

They are two separate considerations which are hard to compare, in any culture.

This i why i cannot vote.

Ok desperate was not the right word. Maybe impatient is better.

I understand what you're saying and I agree but from a Thai woman's point of view I think the list of things that attract them or much more simple than a western woman's ideals.

[thenoilif]

An average Thai woman is not desperate. A serious relationship is built on mutual attractive feelings and shared trust.

They are two separate considerations which are hard to compare, in any culture.

The OP is talking about women who specifically target foreigners - mostly for monetary reasons - and who are mostly insincere about emotional attachments to these guys. They are not the norm.

One thing that a lot of newbies do not realize is that many young Thai women drift in and out of sex work and they never let on what they might have been doing a few months before. It is almost impossible for a foreigner to pick out a prostitute if they are not in that mode. Average Thai women are not telling men that they "love" them on the first few dates.

None of the women I have dated were ever bargirls or prostitutes. A small percentage of them came from families with little means but needing money was never brought up as they had regular jobs and they supported themselves. The rest of the women had above average jobs and came from good middle class or upper middle class families. One of the women is a marketing executive for one of the major department store chains and has an MBA from Northwestern University; she comes from a conservative, traditional family and still lives at home, which is typical. We were on our first date eating dinner and after talking for a few hours she told me she liked me and started texting me "I miss you" the following day. As I stated in my OP this has been the norm with every woman I've met. They were all also above average too beautiful physically and smart.

Now, all of these women were met through acquaintances. I didn't meet any of them at bars. They were either friends of work colleagues or a friend of a friend. I'm sure they inquired about me with their friends prior to meeting but other than that we didn't have any contact prior to our first dates.

The whole point of this thread is not to self promote. I understand that the perception is that many of the women that foreigners are exposed to may be motivated by financial gain. It's been this way in the past so those women may be more "desperate" in landing a man than other women but I it appears to me that more and more Thai women are getting frustrated with a lack of truly honest, caring, and good men to choose from. Much like the West, more Thai women, not men, are going to college and getting graduate degrees. The western educated women are meeting foreign men when they study abroad and come to prefer our outlook on relationships and how we treat them better then our Thai counterparts. The women who aren't fortunate enough to study abroad are also being westernized by movies, music, TV shows that introduce them to western romanticism, which a Thai man doesn't understand. Granted the latter is overly dramatized but Thai girls believe that this is how it is in the West, which may be one of the reasons, why they are so overzealous when they date.

[lovelaos]

An average Thai woman is not desperate. A serious relationship is built on mutual attractive feelings and shared trust.

They are two separate considerations which are hard to compare, in any culture.

The OP is talking about women who specifically target foreigners - mostly for monetary reasons - and who are mostly insincere about emotional attachments to these guys. They are not the norm.

One thing that a lot of newbies do not realize is that many young Thai women drift in and out of sex work and they never let on what they might have been doing a few months before. It is almost impossible for a foreigner to pick out a prostitute if they are not in that mode. Average Thai women are not telling men that they "love" them on the first few dates.

None of the women I have dated were ever bargirls or prostitutes. A small percentage of them came from families with little means but needing money was never brought up as they had regular jobs and they supported themselves. The rest of the women had above average jobs and came from good middle class or upper middle class families. One of the women is a marketing executive for one of the major department store chains and has an MBA from Northwestern University; she comes from a conservative, traditional family and still lives at home, which is typical. We were on our first date eating dinner and after talking for a few hours she told me she liked me and started texting me "I miss you" the following day. As I stated in my OP this has been the norm with every woman I've met. They were all also above average too beautiful physically and smart.

Now, all of these women were met through acquaintances. I didn't meet any of them at bars. They were either friends of work colleagues or a friend of a friend. I'm sure they inquired about me with their friends prior to meeting but other than that we didn't have any contact prior to our first dates.

The whole point of this thread is not to self promote. I understand that the perception is that many of the women that foreigners are exposed to may be motivated by financial gain. It's been this way in the past so those women may be more "desperate" in landing a man than other women but I it appears to me that more and more Thai women are getting frustrated with a lack of truly honest, caring, and good men to choose from. Much like the West, more Thai women, not men, are going to college and getting graduate degrees. The western educated women are meeting foreign men when they study abroad and come to prefer our outlook on relationships and how we treat them better then our Thai counterparts. The women who aren't fortunate enough to study abroad are also being westernized by movies, music, TV shows that introduce them to western romanticism, which a Thai man doesn't understand. Granted the latter is overly dramatized but Thai girls believe that this is how it is in the West, which may be one of the reasons, why they are so overzealous when they date.

This is what I see and experience too, you won't get many in agreement on this forum though, as a good majority of posters are either barflies, whore mongerers or already in a relationship and therefore are not in the dating scene.

Thailand is a fantastic place to be a single man actively dating intelligent, stunningly beautiful women. Speak the language, brush your teeth, smarten up your appearance and have a good job and they are like flies round sh*t

The L word is used far too liberally in Thailand IMO

[Honkie]

Photos , can U guys upload some photos of these 'Desperate Ladies' , preferably in company with your good selves for us WhoreMongers to drool on ........

[thenoilif]

Photos , can U guys upload some photos of these 'Desperate Ladies' , preferably in company with your good selves for us WhoreMongers to drool on ........

Spoken like a true whoremonger.

[TPI]

Not moving in the "modern" areas of Bkk it strikes me that most Thai women I meet are friendly and quite approachable, but, out of town it's a different story...most don't have the language skills even if you speak Thai they assume that at some point you'll want them to speak English! They've usually been screwed around by a boyfriend or husband and are really coy about getting serious. If you're just looking for a quicky then forget it, unless she's a working girl or you're connected (very closely) to a well known Hi-So, then maybe...perhaps it helps to be working as an exec. with a merchant bank or the UN? IMHO

[thenoilif]

Not moving in the "modern" areas of Bkk it strikes me that most Thai women I meet are friendly and quite approachable, but, out of town it's a different story...most don't have the language skills even if you speak Thai they assume that at some point you'll want them to speak English! They've usually been screwed around by a boyfriend or husband and are really coy about getting serious. If you're just looking for a quicky then forget it, unless she's a working girl or you're connected (very closely) to a well known Hi-So, then maybe...perhaps it helps to be working as an exec. with a merchant bank or the UN? IMHO

Out of town girls love foreign guys. The language barrier matters little. Where do think most of the bar girls originate from. Do a round about trip through the NE, Chang Mai or the southern beach provinces and I guarantee that you'll find several women who will die to be your wife and will be more willing to get into bed with you just to have a chance for a serious relationship. The kicker is be ready to support an entire family in process. The only place high-so matters is BKK and to some extent Chang Mai as the country girls will accept a teachers salary as a comfortable lifestyle.

[ccarbaugh]

As things are today, being a foreigner means

that for the most part, (there are always exceptions,)

the only available "ladies" for us are gold-diggers,

older-bargirls, (skanks,) and ladyboys. Sure, you

might meet a young lady that is curious, or that wants to

practice her English skills, but to have a close, honest,

meaningful, intimate relationship with one is "not-in-the-cards."

It was summed-up to me beautifully by an Austrailian chap that

told me a few years ago- "I give up, I've been here over 4 years

and I haven't been able to find anything near a "normal"

relationship."

Thai ladies have no idea - Possession is NOT love!

[lovelaos]

As things are today, being a foreigner means

that for the most part, (there are always exceptions,)

the only available "ladies" for us are gold-diggers,

older-bargirls, (skanks,) and ladyboys. Sure, you

might meet a young lady that is curious, or that wants to

practice her English skills, but to have a close, honest,

meaningful, intimate relationship with one is "not-in-the-cards."

It was summed-up to me beautifully by an Austrailian chap that

told me a few years ago- "I give up, I've been here over 4 years

and I haven't been able to find anything near a "normal"

relationship."

Thai ladies have no idea - Possession is NOT love!

Nonsense.

Perhaps the Australian chap wasn't "normal"

I find it hard to believe that when it comes to Thai women some farang insist they are some kind of alien being who are only after their money. Sure, there are gold diggers, bargirls, scammers etc etc out there as there are in any country in the world, but the vast majority are hard working, decent, honest women just looking for someone to care for them and their families.

Obviously, it depends a lot on where you are meeting these women.

Perhaps you need to venture away from the places where "gold-diggers, older-bargirls (skanks,) and ladyboys" frequent.

[tingtongfarang]

As things are today, being a foreigner means

that for the most part, (there are always exceptions,)

the only available "ladies" for us are gold-diggers,

older-bargirls, (skanks,) and ladyboys. Sure, you

might meet a young lady that is curious, or that wants to

practice her English skills, but to have a close, honest,

meaningful, intimate relationship with one is "not-in-the-cards."

It was summed-up to me beautifully by an Austrailian chap that

told me a few years ago- "I give up, I've been here over 4 years

and I haven't been able to find anything near a "normal"

relationship."

Thai ladies have no idea - Possession is NOT love!

Nonsense.

Perhaps the Australian chap wasn't "normal"

I find it hard to believe that when it comes to Thai women some farang insist they are some kind of alien being who are only after their money. Sure, there are gold diggers, bargirls, scammers etc etc out there as there are in any country in the world, but the vast majority are hard working, decent, honest women just looking for someone to care for them and their families.

Obviously, it depends a lot on where you are meeting these women.

Perhaps you need to venture away from the places where "gold-diggers, older-bargirls (skanks,) and ladyboys" frequent.

Have been dating here almost 7years now, CC come close to the problem but not quite,

Even without a language barrier i find it impossible to find one that i can have a meaningful conversation with about any subject, Regardless of their physical appearance or english language skills i get bored, i dont expect them to converse with me about quantum physics but they just dont have any idea whats going on in the rest of the world.

[Honkie]

Photos , can U guys upload some photos of these 'Desperate Ladies' , preferably in company with your good selves for us WhoreMongers to drool on ........

Spoken like a true whoremonger.

You don't get it, do you ?

[belg]

if love you( r ) (money), you handsome man (for an old fat fart)

...

[lovelaos]

As things are today, being a foreigner means

that for the most part, (there are always exceptions,)

the only available "ladies" for us are gold-diggers,

older-bargirls, (skanks,) and ladyboys. Sure, you

might meet a young lady that is curious, or that wants to

practice her English skills, but to have a close, honest,

meaningful, intimate relationship with one is "not-in-the-cards."

It was summed-up to me beautifully by an Austrailian chap that

told me a few years ago- "I give up, I've been here over 4 years

and I haven't been able to find anything near a "normal"

relationship."

Thai ladies have no idea - Possession is NOT love!

Nonsense.

Perhaps the Australian chap wasn't "normal"

I find it hard to believe that when it comes to Thai women some farang insist they are some kind of alien being who are only after their money. Sure, there are gold diggers, bargirls, scammers etc etc out there as there are in any country in the world, but the vast majority are hard working, decent, honest women just looking for someone to care for them and their families.

Obviously, it depends a lot on where you are meeting these women.

Perhaps you need to venture away from the places where "gold-diggers, older-bargirls (skanks,) and ladyboys" frequent.

Have been dating here almost 7years now, CC come close to the problem but not quite,

Even without a language barrier i find it impossible to find one that i can have a meaningful conversation with about any subject, Regardless of their physical appearance or english language skills i get bored, i dont expect them to converse with me about quantum physics but they just dont have any idea whats going on in the rest of the world.

CC stated that "the only available "ladies" for us are gold-diggers,

older-bargirls, (skanks,) and ladyboys."

You are saying you cant have a meaningful conversation with a Thai female.

In 7 years of dating, have you never found a female with whom you can have a meaningful conversation? Seriously?

I wonder if you frequent the very same establishments as CC...

[End]

Is the OP Brad Pitt or something? Hordes of woman ranging from university students and upper class royalty throwing themselves at his feet. Wander what his secret is.

[thenoilif]

Is the OP Brad Pitt or something? Hordes of woman ranging from university students and upper class royalty throwing themselves at his feet. Wander what his secret is.

Nice interpretation. It's pretty obvious why you're not having much luck. You're a hater.

No I'm not Brad Pitt and I didn't say "hordes of women" or "royalty". It's not rocket science guys. Meeting good women here is no different than meeting women in any other country, in actuality it's easier in some regards.

Here's the secret, there is no secret! If you're a decent, upstanding person, have a "real" job, are committed to actually living here and not on some extended vacation and are open to Thai cultural views than you will not have a problem meeting and dating all types of good upstanding women. If you dress smartly, clean cut, and not old enough to be her father and show that you're trustworthy and not a playboy it's even easier and things open up even more.

[Payboy]

If you're a decent, upstanding person, have a "real" job, are committed to actually living here and not on some extended vacation and are open to Thai cultural views than you will not have a problem meeting and dating all types of good upstanding women.

That's it - only the whores for me then.

[thenoilif]

If you're a decent, upstanding person, have a "real" job, are committed to actually living here and not on some extended vacation and are open to Thai cultural views than you will not have a problem meeting and dating all types of good upstanding women.

That's it - only the whores for me then.

I sense a bit of sarcasm but seriously though is that really too much?

I would imagine most of those things are givens if you want a woman that isn't driven by money only.

[Berkshire]

The OP is talking about women who specifically target foreigners - mostly for monetary reasons - and who are mostly insincere about emotional attachments to these guys. They are not the norm.

One thing that a lot of newbies do not realize is that many young Thai women drift in and out of sex work and they never let on what they might have been doing a few months before. It is almost impossible for a foreigner to pick out a prostitute if they are not in that mode. Average Thai women are not telling men that they "love" them on the first few dates.

None of the women I have dated were ever bargirls or prostitutes.

....as far as you know. I think that was UG's point.

Question for the OP: Do you speak fluent Thai?

If not, then you're in the same category as all other farangs. That is, the Thai women you're mostly going to come in contact with are the typical farang-hunters who are desperate for financial security.

If you do speak Thai, then you're in a different category and can actually compete with the Thai guys for quality Thai women.

[thenoilif]

The OP is talking about women who specifically target foreigners - mostly for monetary reasons - and who are mostly insincere about emotional attachments to these guys. They are not the norm.

One thing that a lot of newbies do not realize is that many young Thai women drift in and out of sex work and they never let on what they might have been doing a few months before. It is almost impossible for a foreigner to pick out a prostitute if they are not in that mode. Average Thai women are not telling men that they "love" them on the first few dates.

None of the women I have dated were ever bargirls or prostitutes.

....as far as you know. I think that was UG's point.

Question for the OP: Do you speak fluent Thai?

If not, then you're in the same category as all other farangs. That is, the Thai women you're mostly going to come in contact with are the typical farang-hunters who are desperate for financial security.

If you do speak Thai, then you're in a different category and can actually compete with the Thai guys for quality Thai women.

Do you think the vp of marketing at a major department store with a masters degree from northwestern univ. is an ex bargirl or doesn't speak good enough English to carry on a meaningful conversation?

Or a woman working at the UN with a law degree from Georgetown doesn't speak good English or is ex-bargirl?

Neither one needs money. They both make top salaries, and come from well educated and worldly families. As I said in my initial post I met them through friend of a friend as I did with most of the girls I've dated.

For college educated girls especially the ones that studied abroad their English is very good and in some cases dam_n near fluent so there is zero communication issues. Regardless, with some basic Thai anyone with some confidence can be charming enough to meet regular women and date them.

The whole jist of this thread basically got derailed about 4 posts in. The original question was do guys find Thai women to be overzealous in expressing their feelings when dating guys but it turned into the typical all women are bargirls and if I am unable to meet normal girls then it's impossible for someone else b.s.

Look guys I really have no reason to lie. I'm didn't start this to boast, I honestly have just been wondering if anyone of you shared the same experiences and if it made you feel hesitant about continuing to date a woman if she acted that desperate but I think it's a cultural thing.

[Dancealot]

Is Your Average Thai Woman Desperate To Get Into A Serious Relationship with a farang.