A. BOOZER Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Chemical Analysis Of Women Element: woman Symbol: Wo Discoverer: Adam Atomic Weight: accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs. Occurrence: surplus quantities in all urban areas. Physical Properties: 1) surface usually covered in painted film 2) boils at nothing, freezes without reason 3) melts if given proper treatment 4) bitter if used incorrectly 5) found in various states, ranging from virgin metal, to common 'ore Chemical Properties: 1) possess great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones 2) able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances 3) may explode spontaneously if left alone with a male 4) insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol 5) yields to pressure applied to correct points Uses: 1) highly ornamental, especially in sports cars 2) most powerful money-reducing agent known 3) can be a great aid to relaxation Tests: 1) pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state 2) turns green if placed beside a better specimen Caution: 1) highly dangerous except in experienced hands 2) illegal to posses more than one except in certain areas (Saudi Arabia etc.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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