Bluecat Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 The pope is very sick with a disease the doctors can not heal. Finally, one of them came up with a cure but does not know how to present it to the pope. "Holy Father, we found a cure for your disease but I do not know how I can explain it to you" "My son, please, do not be shy, tell me" "In order for us to cure you, we need you to make love to a woman" "My son, you understand what you are asking me?" "Yes, but Holy Father, this is the ONLY solution" "For the sake of my followers, I will do it but I have three conditions" "What are they, Holy Father?" "The girl should be blind" "Why?" "So that she can not see me" "The girl should be deaf" "Why?" "So that she can not hear me" "The girl should have big breasts" "Pardon me, Holy Father, we do not understand, why this last condition?" "Because I LIKE IT!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizMe Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person." Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance." Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four-letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt'?" Only one word leapt to mind... "My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another." The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'." "Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person." Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the pontiff.Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance." Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four-letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt'?" Only one word leapt to mind... "My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another." The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'." "Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?" That one set me to giggling Tiz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 (edited) Love it TizMe, will use it to change the subject, ********************************************************************** Axel stay on topic please.. LOL Edited February 7, 2004 by IT Manager Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IT Manager Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person." Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the pontiff.Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance." Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four-letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt'?" Only one word leapt to mind... "My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another." The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'." "Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?" Me too...Tiz you are quite the funny K__t ROFLMAO again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Love it TizMe, will use it to change the subject, ********************************************************************** Axel stay on topic please.. LOL This post has been edited by ###### on Sat 2004-02-07, 15:26:27 OK IT M How about a lateral entry? If I ask him to pray for my team, am I on topic? Disgusting, to talk so abt. the pope. I mean I like him, only his opinion is sometimes a bit weird. Most of the time he talks about sex. In any situation he can think of, pre-, extra-martital, non-reproductive .... He should just not try to establish rules for a team-game where he is banned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizMe Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 The Pope had just finished a tour of the Napa Valley and was taking a limousine to San Francisco. Having never driven a limo, he asks the chauffeur if he can drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur doesn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds down Silverado, and starts accelerating to see what the limo can do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the red & blue lights of a CHP in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it is, says, Just a moment please, I need to call in. The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how to handle it. Is it the Governor? No! Even more important! Is it the PRESIDENT??? No sir! Even 'more' important! Well 'WHO' is it?!! screams the chief. I don't know sir, replies the trooper, but he's must be somebody big, he's got the Pope as his chauffeur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 Given the interest, I think we could start a thread related to the pope. Could be named "The pope and sex" What do you think of the position of the present pope about sexual matters, i.e. condoms are forbidden and you should stick to one partner, who in return should stick to you. You should both be healthy and make many, many children. But I am not sure it is relevant to this forum,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyy Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Condoms aren't forbidden. Condoms as a contraceptive device are forbidden. Birth control pills aren't forbidden, birth control pills as a contraceptive device are. Example; if you are married to an HIV positive person, condom use to prevent being infected is perfectly acceptable. If a woman has hormone irregularities, birth control pills can be used to maintain a normal hormone level and menstrual cycle. This is all fine and dandy, as the primary purpose is not contraception; it's an unfortunate (!) side-effect. The key to all this is a clear conscience. You know the reason why you are using condoms/taking the pill. It all goes back to the patriarchal structure of the early church. Maintaining power and authority over women was important to them. So they decreed that a woman could not refuse sexual relations with her husband for any reason,. Keep 'em barefoot, broke, and pregnant, and tell them God wants it that way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Condoms aren't forbidden. Condoms as a contraceptive device are forbidden. Birth control pills aren't forbidden, birth control pills as a contraceptive device are. Example; if you are married to an HIV positive person, condom use to prevent being infected is perfectly acceptable. If a woman has hormone irregularities, birth control pills can be used to maintain a normal hormone level and menstrual cycle. This is all fine and dandy, as the primary purpose is not contraception; it's an unfortunate (!) side-effect. The key to all this is a clear conscience. You know the reason why you are using condoms/taking the pill.It all goes back to the patriarchal structure of the early church. Maintaining power and authority over women was important to them. So they decreed that a woman could not refuse sexual relations with her husband for any reason,. Keep 'em barefoot, broke, and pregnant, and tell them God wants it that way... and very very close to the kitchen sink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nat Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Condoms aren't forbidden. Condoms as a contraceptive device are forbidden. Birth control pills aren't forbidden, birth control pills as a contraceptive device are. Example; if you are married to an HIV positive person, condom use to prevent being infected is perfectly acceptable. If a woman has hormone irregularities, birth control pills can be used to maintain a normal hormone level and menstrual cycle. This is all fine and dandy, as the primary purpose is not contraception; it's an unfortunate (!) side-effect. The key to all this is a clear conscience. You know the reason why you are using condoms/taking the pill.It all goes back to the patriarchal structure of the early church. Maintaining power and authority over women was important to them. So they decreed that a woman could not refuse sexual relations with her husband for any reason,. Keep 'em barefoot, broke, and pregnant, and tell them God wants it that way... and very very close to the kitchen sink. Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Condoms aren't forbidden. Condoms as a contraceptive device are forbidden. Birth control pills aren't forbidden, birth control pills as a contraceptive device are. Example; if you are married to an HIV positive person, condom use to prevent being infected is perfectly acceptable. If a woman has hormone irregularities, birth control pills can be used to maintain a normal hormone level and menstrual cycle. This is all fine and dandy, as the primary purpose is not contraception; it's an unfortunate (!) side-effect. The key to all this is a clear conscience. You know the reason why you are using condoms/taking the pill.It all goes back to the patriarchal structure of the early church. Maintaining power and authority over women was important to them. So they decreed that a woman could not refuse sexual relations with her husband for any reason,. Keep 'em barefoot, broke, and pregnant, and tell them God wants it that way... and very very close to the kitchen sink. Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen? Exactly. Fetch my whip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nat Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Condoms aren't forbidden. Condoms as a contraceptive device are forbidden. Birth control pills aren't forbidden, birth control pills as a contraceptive device are. Example; if you are married to an HIV positive person, condom use to prevent being infected is perfectly acceptable. If a woman has hormone irregularities, birth control pills can be used to maintain a normal hormone level and menstrual cycle. This is all fine and dandy, as the primary purpose is not contraception; it's an unfortunate (!) side-effect. The key to all this is a clear conscience. You know the reason why you are using condoms/taking the pill.It all goes back to the patriarchal structure of the early church. Maintaining power and authority over women was important to them. So they decreed that a woman could not refuse sexual relations with her husband for any reason,. Keep 'em barefoot, broke, and pregnant, and tell them God wants it that way... and very very close to the kitchen sink. Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen? Exactly. Fetch my whip. Ooh, kinky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IT Manager Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Love it TizMe, will use it to change the subject, ********************************************************************** Axel stay on topic please.. LOL This post has been edited by ###### on Sat 2004-02-07, 15:26:27 OK IT M How about a lateral entry? If I ask him to pray for my team, am I on topic? Disgusting, to talk so abt. the pope. I mean I like him, only his opinion is sometimes a bit weird. Most of the time he talks about sex. In any situation he can think of, pre-, extra-martital, non-reproductive .... He should just not try to establish rules for a team-game where he is banned. Thats fine Axel. I have just called him and said "Please pray for Axels' Team". His response was, "But he says all I think about is sex, which is quite untrue.. did you see the Man U game Wednesday night?" Topic now changed.. does the Pope barrack for an English Team or a Polish Team.. And speaking of English, could Man U deal with a bit of a Polish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IT Manager Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 It all goes back to the patriarchal structure of the early church. Maintaining power and authority over women was important to them. So they decreed that a woman could not refuse sexual relations with her husband for any reason,. Keep 'em barefoot, broke, and pregnant, and tell them God wants it that way... Hi Cathhy, good to see your input to the forum. My question as a Buddhist male, to a Catholic Communicant; what has changed about the patriarchal "men are more capable than women" view, taken by todays church, when everywhere else there is a move towards a much greater level of equality between men and women? This from a man who has read and maintains a close interest in Men are from Mars, Women are form Venus. I understand and accept the arguments in that book, and don't decry the psycho-social importance of the equal value of women and men, though I understand that the physical capacities of women are different, neither better nor worse, than men's. When I cry, my wife comforts me. When she cries, we all support her. We each have roles to play within the daily theatre which is life, some can do one bit, others do other bits. Every bit gets done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 .. did you see the Man U game Wednesday night?"Topic now changed.. does the Pope barrack for an English Team or a Polish Team.. And speaking of English, could Man U deal with a bit of a Polish? I missed the ManU game while Munich became the loving stock of the league, losing against No. 3 of the 2nd league. Tonight, if the pope does not help, fine, we can do it. But I need him on 25th when we say hello to Chelsea. ManU? We beat them b4 at home, although lost in Manchester but that game was not important anymore. The Pope in Manchester? Man U would be safe, he would be the first Polish who actually pays in the fan-shop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizMe Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Getting a bit off topic boys and girls... Can I borrow your whip I.T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Getting a bit off topic boys and girls...Can I borrow your whip I.T. Looks like I.T. as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 2 years ago I went on Alitalia to Rome. While crossing the Alps they served white wine. Aarg, like vinegar I complained. The hostess was not happy: "Even the Pope drinks this wine". "So" I said, "now I know why he goes down to the ground after each landing". PS: TizMe off topic or not, I need your whip, we lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 2 years ago I went on Alitalia to Rome. While crossing the Alps they served white wine. Aarg, like vinegar I complained. The hostess was not happy: "Even the Pope drinks this wine". "So" I said, "now I know why he goes down to the ground after each landing". How can you tell an Alitalia Jumbo? It's the one with the hairs under the wings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IT Manager Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 Getting a bit off topic boys and girls...Can I borrow your whip I.T. Looks like I.T. as well You said you wouldn't tell. Bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted February 9, 2004 Author Share Posted February 9, 2004 My question as a Buddhist male, to a Catholic Communicant; what has changed about the patriarchal "men are more capable than women" view, taken by todays church, when everywhere else there is a move towards a much greater level of equality between men and women?This from a man who has read and maintains a close interest in Men are from Mars, Women are form Venus. I understand and accept the arguments in that book, and don't decry the psycho-social importance of the equal value of women and men, though I understand that the physical capacities of women are different, neither better nor worse, than men's. Once made equal to men, women become their superiors. Socrates (469-399 BC) So, for more than 2000 years, men did whatever possible for "equality" not to happen,... The church knows, they know EVERYTHING about women,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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