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Road_Runner

Wanna Hear A Blonde Joke ?

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She was so blonde that……

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She thought that a quarter back was a refund.

She tripped over the cordless phone.

At the bottom of her job application, where it says “Sign Here”, she put ‘Sagittarius’

When she heard that 90% of all crimes were committed around the home, she moved.

It took her months to figure out that she could tune into AM radio at night.

She was staring at the frozen orange juice just because it said “Concentrate”.

She thinks that Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

She told me to meet her at the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk”.

When she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left”, she turned round and went home.

She studied for a blood test and failed.

It takes her 2 hours to watch “60 Minutes”.

She looked into a box of “Cheerios” and said “Oh look! Donut seeds”.

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She was so blonde that……

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She thought that a quarter back was a refund.

She tripped over the cordless phone.

At the bottom of her job application, where it says “Sign Here”, she put ‘Sagittarius’

When she heard that 90% of all crimes were committed around the home, she moved.

It took her months to figure out that she could tune into AM radio at night.

She was staring at the frozen orange juice just because it said “Concentrate”.

She thinks that Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

She told me to meet her at the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk”.

When she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left”, she turned round and went home.

She studied for a blood test and failed.

It takes her 2 hours to watch “60 Minutes”.

She looked into a box of “Cheerios” and said “Oh look! Donut seeds”.

Phew, quick fire!!! :o

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Good addition Artisan. Keep 'em coming.



Man goes to chemist, "I need to buy poison."

Chemist, "I can't sell you that, sorry!!"

Man digs into his pocket, pull out his purse and shows the pic of his blonde wife.

Chemist, "Oh! sorry sir, I didn't know you had prescription."

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Last Night I Went To See Basic Instinct 2



A blonde lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, ma'am. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But ma'am, you must know that you are not wearing any underwear and everything is exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 48 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,

"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

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A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

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There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

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How did the blonde mathematics student respond when she was asked to find 'x'?

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Two blonde pros (Prostitutes) talking.



"We are in the best business in the world."

"How's that?"

"We have got it ... we sell it ... and we still have it."

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A blonde went for her university final examination, unprepared.



The examination paper consisted of "Yes/No" type of questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration removes a coin from her purse and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet 'Yes' for 'Heads' and 'No' for 'Tails'.

Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The examiner, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

Blonde replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."

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A blonde went for her university final examination, unprepared.



The examination paper consisted of "Yes/No" type of questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration removes a coin from her purse and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet 'Yes' for 'Heads' and 'No' for 'Tails'.

Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The examiner, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

Blonde replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."

:o:D:D

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SHE WAS SO BLONDE

That she thought that "Moby Dick" was a venereal disease.

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A guy walks into a bar asks for a beer. He notices 2 familiar faces in the dark corner. Asks the barman 'who are they'? He says thats Bush and Rumsfeld.

So he walks over and introduces him self................says 'what are u 2 dooing here' Rumsfeld answers.........we are discussing a solution to the Muslim problem............man says ahhh what would that be then?

Rumsfeld says we are going to kill 200million muslims and 1 blonde with big tits!

Man says 'why the blonde with big tits'?

Rumsfeld turns to Bush and says 'see no one gives f*** about the muslims'!

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