Popular Post ArranP Posted April 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) On route back from Roi Et. My girl friends mother just asked for sinsod 1 million baht and 10 bar gold, which I accepted at first at least until I read on the internet that most people pay 200,000 to 300,000 baht and then declined. Afterwards my girl friends mother ignored me, now me and my girl friend are broken up, apparently because of the fact that I offered my girl friend 20 baht to give the mother for the sinsod :-) Edited April 12, 2013 by ArranP 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Kimera Posted April 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 12, 2013 Nohing else to say you have explianed it all.. bye 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post smokie36 Posted April 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 12, 2013 Lucky escape! 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wooloomooloo Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) How long have you been together, OP? I'd ignore what you read on the internet and averages. Your circumstance is your own. Give a little more information before the generic write-off. Edited April 12, 2013 by wooloomooloo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mario2008 Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up. You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
p_brownstone Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up. You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there. Completely agree. If you did indeed offer Baht 20 as Sin Sot then it was a deliberate insult and no-one would tolerate that. Sin Sot is an age-old Thai custom - you may not agree with it but the solution is to explain your cultural objections to the practice - politely and with respect to all parties involved. Patrick 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CharlieH Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) Surely the oiffer of 20 baht was a joke which got passed on or taken literally, i suspect. Personally I have never paid a penny, explianed that I was against it and we discussed it, eventually 40k baht was used, 1 baht gold given to wife which she kept, money returned immediately after the ceremony. Family save face, everyone happy. Edited April 13, 2013 by CharlieH 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post LucidLucifer Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up. You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there. You could also explain that in your culture it is traditional for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding. Then explain how you've got a five star resort wedding in mind, at their expense of course. 19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Neeranam Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 Need to know more information. Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult. What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important. I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting. 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DILLIGAD Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 Agree with everything said but there are still greedy unrealistic Gold-digging parents out there in deepest Isaan ( or should we rename it insane?) 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Neeranam Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 Agree with everything said but there are still greedy unrealistic Gold-digging parents out there in deepest Isaan ( or should we rename it insane?)Hope you're not referring to me I'll be asking for A LOT more than 1 million for my daughters, because of their stunning beauty and good education at private schools. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Need to know more information. Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult. What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important. I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting. A good point, insulting offers do work both ways. Not sure if i would have come back with a 20 baht offer however The OP could fill in a few more details for us all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Agree with everything said but there are still greedy unrealistic Gold-digging parents out there in deepest Isaan ( or should we rename it insane?)Hope you're not referring to me I'll be asking for A LOT more than 1 million for my daughters, because of their stunning beauty and good education at private schools. As you said in a post before, 1 million can be an insulting number Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArranP Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 How long have you been together, OP? I'd ignore what you read on the internet and averages. Your circumstance is your own. Give a little more information before the generic write-off. We have been learning together since beginning of december, she lives in koh lanta, I live in Phuket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArranP Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up. You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there. Need to know more information. Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult. What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important. I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting. she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta, her education she left school early to take care of her sisters children, however she is now studying law, she is 34 with no children, I am 41 with 2 children. Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort. Mother is a rice farmer. Edited April 13, 2013 by ArranP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArranP Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) Need to know more information. Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult. What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important. I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting. A good point, insulting offers do work both ways. Not sure if i would have come back with a 20 baht offer however The OP could fill in a few more details for us all. the offer of 20 baht was made in a private conversation between me and my girl friend in the car away from the family. Edited April 13, 2013 by ArranP 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArranP Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) Need to know more information. Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult. What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important. I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting. A good point, insulting offers do work both ways. Not sure if i would have come back with a 20 baht offer however The OP could fill in a few more details for us all. the offer of 20 baht was made in a private conversation between me and my girl friend in the car. Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up. You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there. Initially I accepted. I have no issue with SinSod, it is alot of people do it, it was later when I discovered the normal fee is 200,000 to 300,000 I was shocked and then declined, I could explain SinSod to my own mother but I had no answer when it came to why I was paying so much more than other people. After I declined, I would sawadee khap mother but she would ignore me and in front of the whole family. Edited April 13, 2013 by ArranP 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AnotherOneAmerican Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta, her education she left school early to take care of her sisters children, however she is now studying law, she is 34 with no children, her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort. Mother is a rice farmer. I would say 20bht was the right price to offer. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 7by7 Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up. You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there. You could also explain that in your culture it is traditional for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding. Then explain how you've got a five star resort wedding in mind, at their expense of course. I've seen this come up many times whenever sinsot is discussed on forums such as this and accepted it as my wife and I only had the ampur registration. That is I accepted it until my step son got married. At his wedding, his wife's parents paid for the food, drink and entertainment; although my wife and I did make a contribution it was a voluntary one, we weren't expected to. He and his bride paid for the flowers and the gifts for the guests. Maybe it's different in Rayong, where his wife is from and their wedding was held, to Issan? BTW, I paid no sinsot; I didn't even know such a custom existed at the time of my marriage. When i asked my wife about it she said that as she had been married before and not lived with her parents for many years, why should I pay anything? My stepson paid 200K, half of which was returned in cash afterwards and the rest used as the deposit on a car for him. He also gave 5 baht of gold; which actually belonged to my wife and I. It was on show during the wedding, and he returned it to us afterwards. Edited April 13, 2013 by 7by7 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post maprao Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up. You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there. >Need to know more information. Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult. What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important. I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insulting. she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta, her education she left school early to take care of her sisters children, however she is now studying law, she is 34 with no children, I am 41 with 2 children. Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort. Mother is a rice farmer. This says it all run like hell and do not look back 24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaRanter Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 how much is the 4 bungalows worth? May be you will just be buying into her business. Marrying an ex farang wife? dont know about others but I ll pass. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRed Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Sinsod....i wonder how much the 76 year old payed? sow baht was realistic but obviously not enough to extend the family business/resort....funny though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Run a mile. If your financial status is all that's important, the rest of the relationship will be a failure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) Be honest........ if you only think she is worth 20 baht........there was no relationship.....my wife was always worth a million and her value to me increases all the while......however....I like a bargain Edited April 13, 2013 by 473geo 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wooloomooloo Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 It's very hard to gauge with little information. Together barely four months and no idea as to the depth of the relationship. You may have felt insulted with the sin sot opener but you made the family lose face with your riposte. You could have been gracious and slept on it. That said, ArranP, only you know if she's the one for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Thaddeus Posted April 13, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2013 she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta, her education she left school early to take care of her sisters children, however she is now studying law, she is 34 with no children, her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort. Mother is a rice farmer. I would say 20bht was the right price to offer. If it was for a prize steer.... but this is a prize steer clear. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture. But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArranP Posted April 14, 2013 Author Share Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture. But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF. yes I agree, in general I became un-sure of things. Edited April 14, 2013 by ArranP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bangkokfanatic Posted April 14, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted April 14, 2013 she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta....... Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort...... It would be interesting to know how much the last guy got fleeced for? Obviously we all can't buy them a resort! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArranP Posted April 14, 2013 Author Share Posted April 14, 2013 she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta....... Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort...... It would be interesting to know how much the last guy got fleeced for? Obviously we all can't buy them a resort! he paid 800,000 baht for sinsod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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