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Goodbye From Me


sunholidaysun1

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Ok , here goes. I went to the hospital today to have the steel staples removed from my abdomen , the Dr said it looks fine but a little bit hard due to swelling , I just hoped it wasnt an infection . I then asked one question , Benign or malignant , he said malignant . Next question was how bad is it , VERY . How long have I got ? He said he wanted me to speak to another specialist at 1pm . So , the staples are out , I went away knowing its very serious and then went back to see the other Dr at 1pm.

He read through everything , said you have stage4 Cancer and its EVERYWHERE . That came as bit of a shock other than finding out the cancer is malignant . So what is going to happen , how long have I got Dr , I asked . 3 months . If you take any form of radiation / Chemo you can possibly extend your life if you are lucky to 6 months or possibly to the end of the year. Percentage of making it to Christmas - 20%. I asked about if he thought it would be worth while taking any form of possible life extending treatment , his answer was NO, its gone too far , without anyone knowing and nothing shown up on any of your hospital blood tests taken over the years . The Cancer that I has hides itself until the last minute and then causes the host , being ME, to experience something unusual , and in my case , the pain in the chest where I thought I might be having a heart attack.

So my friends, thats about it in a nutshell . Over the next 2 days I have to be in the hospital again for another test to find the source of the Cancer. If it has started lets say in the stomach , then I will be gone sooner than later , so each organ has a different time frame . If its the Liver and considering my Liver is in pretty good shape other than the cancers attached to it , I may live slightly longer . So thats the tests for tomorrow and I have another to check the colon also , im not sure why .

Then after getting all that news , I headed off home and went to sleep for 3 hours ,. woke up and put on my shorts and in doing so my stomach started ousing from the wound. I grabbed some tissue and stuck that on , along with some gause that I had in a medical box, taped it down with yellow tape and headed back to Sri Burin . The cleaned the wound , put those strip things across to hold it together then dressed the wound with gause . I was then told to take anti-biotics , 2500 bht . I just went home and took what anti biotics I have here and wil go to the Chinese Pharmacy in town to get some stronger ones, as the last thing I want to do is die of a <deleted> infection , grin.gif. The pain from the wound isnt so good either but at least I am back there tomorrow for them to look at it again .

So my friends , I am oviously a little bit sad that its coming to an end but what I will say is that right throughout my life I have had fun , I have done so much in my life , achieved some things but lived outside of the box . I have always lived every day where ever I have been in the world and anything I have done has been done to the MAX.

At least now I can try and get a few things sorted out here and see people I want to see and organise my own funeral and wake . I was thinking about having my wake before my demise , so I can at least see who turns up, hahahahahahahgrin.gif

I am not allowed to drink alcohol but I am sure I wil fit in a couple of beers somewhere down the line but not just yet .

Please when you see me , treat me as you always have , I feel ok , I look good as always , thas what the ladies always tell me , so let me be . I appreciate all of your heart felt wishes and good luck but I dont want you lot depressing me every day when you see me grin.gifI will be as strong as I can , do what I can and let time take its course until the end.

I do intend to go to a few places out of Thailand with possibly some close friends , such as the Philippines and Cambodia , they have always had a spot in my heart , so I think to have some fun there maybe will be just what the Dr ordered , so to speak .

I will update you over the next couple of days to what the hospital finds out .

regards to all

Sun.smiley.gif

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wow - what a situation to be in - I have thought a long time about writing something or not and even longer about what to write apart from my commiseration (sorry if the formulation might sound strange, English is not my native language).

I wouldn't wish such thing to my worst enemy.

I hope that everything will evolve as well as possible.

Does this type of cancer have a name? How old are you?

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Steve, we never met and I live a 1000 km away from where you are. Give you my respect for sharing your personal story and emotions and thus in this way coming close to me, specially after your latest message. Sometimes you get friends without even knowing it...

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Hope you make the most of what you have. You cannot turn the clock back and make it go away so just do what you can.

Only thing I would say is while you can still get there you should head back to England. It will not make life more enjoyable but I know for sure the pain etc you may have later is handled which it may well not be here.

Another thing I will add is someone else with cancer wa in hospital here a few years ago. After a lot of delays he went down to the care home at McKean Hospital. They looked after him well. As I saw him there he told me that his stay in CR hospital was hell but that staying there was heaven.

I know they charge about 30000a month for room and care plus medical costs etc.. If you do not go back to the UK keep it in mind.

Edited by harrry
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Mate, there is bugger all anyone can say to make you feel a bit better, you do that yourself, it sounds like you are going for it ok, Steve there will be times when you want and need to be alone so people should understand and respect that so just tell them, i do wish you all the best in everything, put a copper in you pocket for the bridge toll, just in case...

Bob

Edited by briboy
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Hope you make the most of what you have. You cannot turn the clock back and make it go away so just do what you can.

Only thing I would say is while you can still get there you should head back to England. It will not make life more enjoyable but I know for sure the pain etc you may have later is handled which it may well not be here.

Another thing I will add is someone else with cancer wa in hospital here a few years ago. After a lot of delays he went down to the care home at McKean Hospital. They looked after him well. As I saw him there he told me that his stay in CR hospital was hell but that staying there was heaven.

I know they charge about 30000a month for room and care plus medical costs etc.. If you do not go back to the UK keep it in mind.

My friend was there for a short time before he die and they where great Harry.

They have a facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dok-Kaew-Gardens-Assisted-Living-Facility/123719217654892

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Yes, if you don't want to go back to the UK for hospice care (which would be my first rec) then McKean is a good choice. Suggest you make arrangements now for an unspecified date of admission. You'll know when it's time.

I'm sure it is scant comfort but you are fortunate in having doctors who were willing to be frank (and sounds like you did a good job and asking the right questions). It is not unusual for Thai doctors not to be, creating a lot of doubt and confusion and leaving the patient to figure out on their own what the prognosis is.

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You know OP, I think it's an excellent thread, as you have shown the degree of fortitude and spirit at this time that I think all of us would hope to have. It's been an education reading your posts and humbling too.

I've always preferred the idea of being given a time frame before I go, just so that I can make sure that the people who have loved me and helped me through life know exactly how much I love them and appreciate them. Modern life has a way of stealing words from your tongue that should be said.

Others are in a position to advise about the medical problems you are facing, all I'll say is at this time, you are showing us all the way, and even we strangers to you will always appreciate that. I hope you make the journeys that you wish before you go, and Bon Voyage Sir. wai.gif

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