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How do you live with permanent depression (obesity)


armedian

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To keep this in perspective, agreeing obesity is a serious health risk, statistically SMOKING is a A LOT worse. Just saying ...

That's not just a little False it's a lot False it is not anywhere even close to "A LOT" worse , in fact depending on your criteria Obesity is worse , and before you say it , lifespan is not necessarily even reduced in one group over the other ....... in a reputable study with over 1 million people the lifespan of both groups was reduced the same amount. Here are 4 links that can help you and others learn the truth rather than make incorrect assumptions.

http://longevity.about.com/od/wholiveslongest/f/smoking-obese.html

http://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB4549/index1.html

http://healthnews.ediets.com/health-topics/obesity-more-dangerous-than-smoking.html

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/obe/risks.html

Try not to focus on the few parts that show smoking is worse in some situations and focus on the totality of the information, and any reasonable person will conclude that saying smoking is " A LOT" worse is simply Wrong

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To keep this in perspective, agreeing obesity is a serious health risk, statistically SMOKING is a A LOT worse. Just saying ...

And that makes it not a problem ? There will always be something worse.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

No, I'm saying don't panic, don't do any crash diets, don't bother rushing it (always backfires), think more about lifetime changes. I do think the public is misinformed about the relative health dangers of obesity. It's bad but not as bad as the public thinks.

It's you who are uninformed try and learn from the 4 links I posted instead saying foolish things the medical community would disagree with near 100 percent agreement

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Smoking is worse:

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2012/07/smoking_and_obesity_are_both_public_health_problems_but_cigarettes_are_worse_than_fat_.html

Fat is correlated with ill health, of course, and the one-third of the U.S. population who qualify as obese may be subject to some very real and severe consequences. An obese person is up to twice as likely to die of any given cause than someone whose body mass index is in the normal range, controlling for other factors. In medical terms, we would say that his or her relative risk of all-cause mortality is between 1 and 2. What about smoking? The analogous number for those who consume at least one pack of cigarettes per day is 3.7, meaning that heavy smokers are almost four times more likely to perish than nonsmokers, about double the risk associated with obesity. Estimates of avoidable deaths reflect this difference in the odds: According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, smoking accounts for an excess mortality of more than 400,000 Americans every year, compared to just 112,000 for obesity. That's despite the fact that there are many more fat Americans—obesity rates are now 50 percent higher than smoking rates.

Interestingly, being just OVERWEIGHT, less than level 1 obesity, is arguably PROTECTIVE to your health for many people!

There is health and there is vanity.

Again, the best hope is to focus on lifelong changes that you can LIVE with for life as opposed to crazy crash diet programs which almost always backfire (you end up even FATTER and yes even more DEPRESSED).

For the morbidly obese, the best medicine has to offer is bariatric surgery, but that's pretty horrible. However, I think it is medically justified in many cases.

Speaking of vanity, another issue with crash diets/losing weight rapidly is your skin doesn't have time to adjust. In some cases like this people end of looking a lot worse skinny than they were fat because they become walking bags of loose skin. Yes surgery is possible but not cheap and not trivial.

Edited by Jingthing
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If you thought I would be surprised you were unable to absorb the totality of my 4 links like a reasonable person OR come back with a modified statement as a rebuttal as opposed to admitting you were just wrong OR that you would find some article not even written by a doctor to post you would be wrong ...... however this post is not about you or me or some argument we might have so let's nip it in the bud like this ............

Armedian this is a question for you since this is your post and I don't want to hijack it from you but only want to help you .... read the 4 quick links I posted from actual medical professionals AND his link , think about it for as long you like and then answer this .......

After reading about the amount of possible time you might lose in your life , the problems that you would live with in both situations , the problems that you might have from either and all that sort of thing answer this question for me please.

Would you rather be of "normal" whatever that means weight and be a smoker, or would you rather continue to be depressed and obese ?

Edited by MrRealDeal
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Look around in your family tree, you might be facing some bad genes. I'm built exactly like my Grandfather, and it's not good ;) Check in with a good heart Doctor and a good hormone Doctor and make sure there are no medical reasons adding to your weight issues. If you think your eating habits could be better, keep a food diary for a while and show it to a dietician. It's amazing what we can tweak pretty painlessly and cut down on the calories.

Finally, the last time I lost weight I was playing tennis. It was very painful at first. Find some money in your buget and hire a trainer, or someone to shoot hoops, or play tennis, walk in the park, whatever. Make the exercise more fun and you are more likely to do it.

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In the end it is a matter of wilpower even though JT says it is not it is. JT is in denial however he is right about part of it after reading a lot and following studies it seems that some people have a harder time coping with the urge to eat then others. So part of what he says is true, however that does not mean your destined to fail it means you have to make some lifestyle choices.

Exercise and diet work good together and id say exercise is the easy part it only last an hour or 2 a day but diet is 24/7. But together they are great at keeping your weight down.

I had a hard time loosing weight but in the end I lost it I am always battling fat but that is a vanity issue because I am well below what normal people would consider lean. I learned a lot of things and one of the things that I learned is that you have to find for yourself what works. There are million of tips out there some work for you and others wont. For me when I get the urge to eat I now go for an apple. I eat healthy and workout a lot but still i get the urge to eat at times even when im not really hungry. I think it will take time to really change that and it might never go away. But in my mind I rather be the guy that I am now then the semi fat slob that I was. Life is a lot better when your in shape, people respond more positive towards you, and you get a better self image.Cloths shopping is much easier and many things are better.

Everyone can do it but in the end you will have to stand behind your choice and give it all you have. You will have to sacrifice some things for it that is a fact of life you cant have it all. It will be harder for some people as others but everyone can do it. People like JT have largely resigned themselves and set themselves up for failure. Any great athlete will or even soldier will tell you not to think about defeat too much as it will become a self for-filling prophecy.

You can see how JT actually does not admit he is wrong even when Mr real deal comes with evidence and immediately he starts to downplay it. If you want to succeed don't become like him.

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Being fat is so difficult for me to bear, it's a constant bad feeling and a permanent fight with myself whether I should accept myself as is or try everything I can to regain a kind of life and decency...

I'm 25 years old, I weighted about 120 Kg (265 lb) and lost more than 50 Kg one year ago. It was the result of a life changing courage, countless efforts and strong discipline. I was able to maintain this weight for more than 6 months but then slowly I regained all the weight and I'm back at my original weight.

For the few months that I was skinny, I felt like another person, I had the confidence to speak in public, I was feeling good in my body, light, a true well being.

To loose all this weight I used a few techniques like EFT and Low-GI nutrition, in addition to life events and changes.

I often try to regain control and to eat correctly again, but it is very difficult as results aren't coming as fast as the first time, I get discouraged after a few weeks, and then regain it all in a few days only. It is a disturbing true.

Am I alone in this situation?

I can't even find any shirt for my size: BigC, Lotus, street markets, etc. all sell "XXL" at most which is equivalent to an "M" in the U.S. ... where do you buy your 5XL-thai-sized shirts?

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Of course I agree obesity is a health risk.

However just being overweight (not even level 1 obese) is not a massive health risk.

Thin people who make just overweight people feel bad about just being overweight, not obese, are not doing the overweight any favors for making them feel bad for no great reason.

On the other hand morbid obesity is indeed a severe health risk. So severe that in many cases, bariatric surgery turns out to be the ONLY answer modern doctors have to help.

Happily, I think the OP is not morbidly obese and I think it's obvious the OP desires to lose weight. That is a given. But I am just suggesting, successfully tackling this for the LONG TERM comes from the INSIDE, not from moralistic lectures, not from doctors screaming at you, and the methods used should be more focused on making LIFETIME health promoting changes rather than unrealistic crash diet level expectations (which again statistically almost always backfire).

I speak for myself. The toxic characterizations about what I believe about weight loss by others wanting to play personality games do not reflect my actual opinions about this, which are of course VERY SUPPORTIVE of people trying to make the life changes needed to make a real long term difference in their lives.

Edited by Jingthing
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You wrote how you have lost weight before. So you back to that routine and walk minimum 1 hour a day. Write down all you eat on a day with the number of calories next to it. I lost 17 kgs on that way in 4 months. Drunk some beers regularly as well and ate snacks and sweets limited. Do not weigh yourself everyday/week. On that way slowly but sure you loose weight. DISCIPLINE !!!!!!!!!!!!

Second this post,

1. Go buy a note pad, a mini food scale to weigh portions and a scale to weigh yourself.

2. Write down everything you eat and count the calories of each item (after a few days, you'll see a pattern and get decent at estimating).

3. Determine what your body 'burns' on average day (I estimated you will burn ~3000 calories a day, more if you do more like ride a bike or long walks, you can do the math). I used this web sight: http://caloriecount.about.com/cc/calories-burned.php

4. Subtract #2 from #3, for each 3800 calories = 1 pound.

5. Drink lots of water, eat a multi-vitamin.

Go to a grocery store, pick up a 5 pound roast, feel how heavy it is and remember this is what you'd lose (for each 5 lbs)

A friend asked me "what's the best exercise for losing weigh"? answer: pushing yourself away from the table.

PM me and I'll send you the MS Excel spreadsheet I used.

Good luck, after 5 days, you'll see the pounds start coming off. It's normal to feel hungry, get through first 5 days. Find some low calorie food you can eat regularly (apples, carrots, vegetables, etc are almost "free" of calories). Make of game of it! I include a beer a day (or 2 if I run). Keep the faith, you did it once and can do it again.

Edited by jcore
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The things you feel that need to be cut out, find things that are satisfying that are healthy replacements.

Cook more food yourself. Be in control of what's in it. Avoid processed foods. If you like spices, great, super flavor that doesn't make you fat.

Personally I favor largely increasing VEGETABLE intake, replacing other stuff. Others say too many carbs. The truth is with your ultimate lifetime health plan, one size does not fit all.

Edited by Jingthing
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rapid weight loss = rapid weight gain

how did u lose it in the first place?

your goal should be 1 kg per month ... that is manage-able

3x 30 min per day walking after a meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner) will get you to burn 300 - 400 calories

that is how i lost 25 kg in 2 years and still doing the walking as light excercise and keeping the weigh down

i have a mcdonalds at 10 min walk from my house (1 min car), does not mean i go eat there every day, or week or even month

moderation

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Of course I agree obesity is a health risk.

However just being overweight (not even level 1 obese) is not a massive health risk.

Thin people who make just overweight people feel bad about just being overweight, not obese, are not doing the overweight any favors for making them feel bad for no great reason.

On the other hand morbid obesity is indeed a severe health risk. So severe that in many cases, bariatric surgery turns out to be the ONLY answer modern doctors have to help.

Happily, I think the OP is not morbidly obese and I think it's obvious the OP desires to lose weight. That is a given. But I am just suggesting, successfully tackling this for the LONG TERM comes from the INSIDE, not from moralistic lectures, not from doctors screaming at you, and the methods used should be more focused on making LIFETIME health promoting changes rather than unrealistic crash diet level expectations (which again statistically almost always backfire).

I speak for myself. The toxic characterizations about what I believe about weight loss by others wanting to play personality games do not reflect my actual opinions about this, which are of course VERY SUPPORTIVE of people trying to make the life changes needed to make a real long term difference in their lives.

I think everyone agrees that crash diets are not the way to go. They are counter productive you need to make lifestyle changes if you want to keep weight off.

In the end its up to the person itself to make the changes and keep the weight off, but if you are the only one in a family then it might be hard if everyone is still eating crap. So there are of course reasons for it to be harder for some then for others. Working at home helps me to control my food real well.

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Half the trees in Canada are gone already from folks writing books on how to lose weight. I can only tell you my experience. I ran 2 marathons in San Francisco for fun, not to lose weight, which, in fact, I didn't lose. Then I lived almost a year in Thailand and lost 40 lbs without exercising for a single day. So, all I can say is the Diet/Exercise argument comes down on Diet, diet, diet. Exercise has benefits but weight loss is NOT one of them. Every gym in the world is a waste of money if you join to lose weight. And guess what? From what happened to me without trying, you're in perhaps the best country in the world for healthy food. Please consider switching to Thai food, totally cutting out Western fats, sugar and salt, aka as Western cooking. [Well, maybe a pizza margherita once a week.] I consider myself knowledgable about Thai food but know very well I don't know the half of it. Ask a Thai to take you regularly to a superior Thai market.

Good luck.

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Thanks for your message smile.png The weight I feel comfortable with for my size is about 70 Kg, so even if I weighted 100 Kg I'd be far from it!

You asked in your opening post about T-shirts

I buy my T-shirts at a street vendor at Bangkok, Sukhumvit, near Soi 15 corner, near to THERMAE Night cellar Bar.

I have since many years only T-shirts from there! Last year he was still open. Every BIG size also to order.

Also used custom maid shirts and trousers made, produced in Isaan village to my liking and colour.

Not think so much, just live! thumbsup.gif

Edited by ALFREDO
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We all struggle with different stuff: looks! height! shyness! skin condition! willy size! confidence, memory etc.. Your weight is your primary life challenge. Meet it head on and never let it take over. Tackle it every day and keep on top. It's a battle and you must allocate enough resources for battle. Enough time, enough energy, enough money.

And to the first replying poster who's only words were, "There's a separate forum for fat people", I hope you suddenly develop 10 stone testicles.

> Your weight is your primary life challenge.

No depression is much more important.

Get busy and productive better attitude to life maybe even some happiness sometimes and probably the weight problem will start to correct itself without a special program.

Exercise to fight depression yes but don't let it make you think you can keep eating junk.

Cut down sugar and fat alone will make a big difference, arguments about carbs - veggies are great most fruit too fibre fibre fibre from non factory food can't go wrong.

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I agree, it is the depression that makes it hard to tackle the other factors. Although the weight problems and depression are closely entwined.

Need to feel better/less depressed first and then can start to deal with the other issues.

From my reading, counslling with a good therapist is very much needed and should be the very first step. Once the therapist has gotten to know you well enough, s/he can advise whether or not there is also a need for medication and, if so, refer you to a doctor for it.

Once the depression has lifted, you can discuss with your therapist the weight issues.

What may seem to non-depressed people as simple obvious solutions, are not so for someone who is depressed. And weight issues can have intense emotional significance to the person suffering from them which also complicates things. Often people overeat in an effort to comfort themselves ,and equate food with emotional reassurrance. Dieting in that situation is experienced as a witholding of emotional warmth and support and very hard to tolerate. All of this has to be dealt with effectively before real change can occur.

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rapid weight loss = rapid weight gain

how did u lose it in the first place?

your goal should be 1 kg per month ... that is manage-able

3x 30 min per day walking after a meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner) will get you to burn 300 - 400 calories

that is how i lost 25 kg in 2 years and still doing the walking as light excercise and keeping the weigh down

i have a mcdonalds at 10 min walk from my house (1 min car), does not mean i go eat there every day, or week or even month

moderation

Don't go to McDonalds -- and avoid the need for so much walking. They are probably one

of the unhealthiest fast-food chains on the planet. Once a year is more than enough.

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Indeed, obesity and depression are closely linked, and social attitudes about fat people contributes to depression.

Regarding the will power morality theory of weight loss (in other words fat people are just weak and it's all their fault, all their choice to be fat), well, that theory is totally specious, and that is backed quite well with scientific evidence.

Fat people ALREADY want to not be fat. That is not the problem. Will power is not the answer. You have to look a lot deeper and you have to look lifetime health changes, and you have to accept slow progress. You can't starve yourself for life. It won't work. It will backfire ... BIG TIME.

If you feel deprived, if you feel you are STARVING for any length of time, your body will fight you, that is normal. If you've ever been fat, your body wants to fat for life. Think of it like alcoholism that way.

In my view to succeed long term in fighting obesity (for those who have ever been obese) you have a journey to find a way to be SATISFIED with your food (and your life) and not live everyday starving and feeling deprived. That is very hard. The solutions are going to be different for different people.

Also sorry to say the majority of obese people are NEVER going to find the solutions in their life (although for the morbidly obese bariatric surgery is always an option but even that doesn't always work!). We know that from statistics. That doesn't mean fat people shouldn't TRY to find the solutions that work for them. Of course they should. But medically speaking just staying fat would be better than doing the YOYO again and again and again. So I suggest the lifetime changes philosophy to do all you can to minimize the chance that any "diet" is just another episode of the YOYO.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/08/03/obesity_and_health_care_punishing_fat_people_is_not_the_answer.html

Yes, I know the rejoinder to this: Fat people should just lose weight! But the scientific evidence basically makes that solution impossible. Most fat adults have been highly motivated for most of their lives to lose weight, and yet they can't do it. Theoverwhelming scientific research shows that obese adults who diet will lose a bunch of weight and then gain it all back, and usuallly more.

http://phys.org/news94906931.html

Dieting does not work, researchers report
Edited by Jingthing
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JT, obesity came when we started eating more its really not rocket science fat people do put too much food in their mouth. (or drink too much) I know I eat a lot less and healthier then when i was overweight. Research shows that before when we started eating so much we were not obese so it is just too much food.

Now I will agree with you that its not easy for everyone to loose weight but its just true that is is caused by eating too much.

Problem is that some people just have the urge to eat more then others and now food is more available then it used to be.

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JT

"Eating in moderation is a good idea for everybody, and so is regular exercise," Mann said. "That is not what we looked at in this study. Exercise may well be the key factor leading to sustained weight loss. Studies consistently find that people who reported the most exercise also had the most weight loss."

Read more at: http://phys.org/news94906931.html#jCp

so not all is lost if you want to loose weight you have to make choices to your diet and exercise its that simple. Diet as such and later going back to what you were doing will never work. Its so logical because what you ate before made you fat, you don't even need a study for that. You just need to change your life to keep it off and that is what most people don't want to do because its hard.

People sometimes ask me if its hard to exercise as much as I do to stay in shape.. i always tell them exercise no matter how hard is the easy part as its only 1 1/2 hour per day and eating healthy is 24/7.

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That is way too simplistic but we can agree to disagree, as usual.

Its simplistic and I agree other things play a role too like latent diabetic and bad stuff in food.. but in the end there is overwhelming evidence that Americans are eating more and more and getting fatter. So in the end its food and the fact that they consume too much of it. Food is much more and easier available then when I was young (and that is not even that long ago)

  • Calories consumed in this average American diet continue to rise, averaging 1949 in 1994 versus 1839 in 1990 (this is why Americans continue to gain weight).10
Edited by robblok
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You are overlooking the whole psychological element which is very pronounced in the case of this OP. Granted not for everyone - in some cases it is as simple as eating too much/eating the wrong things/not enough exercise and no deep or profound reasons behind any of it. Those people are fortunate and they will be able to lose weight effectively if and when they firmly decide to.

But for many people -- I would say the majority of those who are significantly obese, and certainly those who also have history of depression or anxiety (like the OP), it is much, much more complicated than this. The amounts they eat and they type of foods they eat aren't random choices or the result of just not thinking, they stem from deep cravings and are serving an important short-term pyschological function. Of course, the long-term consequences are overall negative for health once it gets to a certain level of obesity and there is thus reason to need to break the cycle, but it is far from easy to do and needs help.

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You are overlooking the whole psychological element which is very pronounced in the case of this OP. Granted not for everyone - in some cases it is as simple as eating too much/eating the wrong things/not enough exercise and no deep or profound reasons behind any of it. Those people are fortunate and they will be able to lose weight effectively if and when they firmly decide to.

But for many people -- I would say the majority of those who are significantly obese, and certainly those who also have history of depression or anxiety (like the OP), it is much, much more complicated than this. The amounts they eat and they type of foods they eat aren't random choices or the result of just not thinking, they stem from deep cravings and are serving an important short-term pyschological function. Of course, the long-term consequences are overall negative for health once it gets to a certain level of obesity and there is thus reason to need to break the cycle, but it is far from easy to do and needs help.

Yes, sure in the case of the OP he should first get help to get over his depression else it will never work. But loosing weight isnt fun for anyone as it always involves hunger. Many people love to believe everything should be easy.. it is not.

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Well, I have been losing weight and I am having fun. I am eating delicious satisfying often very spicy tasty meals and I never feel hungry. You'd be surprised how filling BROCCOLI can be! Shopping for ingredients and cooking is a great pleasure ... totally fun .. and of course eating out, also VERY FUN.

I generally have a delicious light breakfast, cook one meal, and eat out one meal.

So there goes that theory!

In my view, the lifetime "suffering" model is a total horror show, and BTW, statistically it does NOT work for MOST obese people.

The science backs me up. It isn't simple math and scientists have known that for years.

Don't look for a way to suffer for life.

While that might work for a small minority of people, it will never work for the VAST MAJORITY of obese people, and yes, that is backed up by science.

Look for a way to have a great time and that includes ENJOYING YOUR FOOD and also promote your health ... FOR LIFE.

The OP admits he is depressed. Let's make him more depressed and suggest he must now submit to a lifetime of STARVATION which surely if he was a strong "moral" man (rather than a weak fatty who has "chosen" to stay fat) he would have the "will power" to do ... for LIFE. That's lovely. (I actually can't even imagine a poorer approach.)

Edited by Jingthing
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Well, I have been losing weight and I am having fun. I am eating delicious satisfying often very spicy tasty meals and I never feel hungry. You'd be surprised how filling BROCCOLI can be! Shopping for ingredients and cooking is a great pleasure ... totally fun .. and of course eating out, also VERY FUN.

I generally have a delicious light breakfast, cook one meal, and eat out one meal.

So there goes that theory!

In my view, the lifetime "suffering" model is a total horror show, and BTW, statistically it does NOT work for MOST obese people.

The science backs me up. It isn't simple math and scientists have known that for years.

Don't look for a way to suffer for life.

While that might work for a small minority of people, it will never work for the VAST MAJORITY of obese people, and yes, that is backed up by science.

Look for a way to have a great time and that includes ENJOYING YOUR FOOD and also promote your health ... FOR LIFE.

The OP admits he is depressed. Let's make him more depressed and suggest he must now submit to a lifetime of STARVATION which surely if he was a strong "moral" man (rather than a weak fatty who has "chosen" to stay fat) he would have the "will power" to do ... for LIFE. That's lovely. (I actually can't even imagine a poorer approach.)

Its not suffering for life the hunger is gone once you are in the maintenance phase. Plus im talking a bit of discomfort from hunger not starving like they do in some places in the world.

I tried broccoli i wish i liked it as it is real healthy, unlike you i still work so food also has to be easy.

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Obese people in GENERAL are facing this.

Starvation for life unless in a gulag is not a realistic expectation for anyone.

Thin people don't get that. Obese people live in a very different world once that has happened.

So how to beat this reality ... for MOST?

There is no one answer.

It's a huge challenge ... for MOST obese people.

I don't pretend my answers will work for everyone or even me in the long run and certainly nobody ELSE has such an answer for everyone either.

But I do feel that I KNOW suggesting to most obese people to starve themselves for life is not good enough advice, because for the most part, that FAILS.

(I feel I should probably mention here something that most regular Fat Place forum readers already know. I am relying on a crutch -- garcinia combogia -- and without this I personally would not be feeling so optimistic about where I'm at now on my obesity "journey" and where I think I can go. My food choices alone are not the main reason I don't feel hungry anymore or get cravings -- it is definitely the garcinia but I combine that with better choices of foods. I don't pretend this crutch will work for everyone of course but I am suggesting for MOST obese people, they're going to have to figure out THEIR way not to be STARVING for life, because for the most part if you're like most obese people dealing with the prospect of the lifetime starving, your body will win and make you fatter again ... even MORE fat).

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/08/03/obesity_and_health_care_punishing_fat_people_is_not_the_answer.html

Tara Parker Pope at the New York Times ran down the explanations of why this is: Your body basically fights to stay the highest weight you've ever been. If you lose weight, your body floods with hormones that make you hungry. Your metabolism is also set at the point it was at your heaviest, meaning a person who weighs 150 pounds who used to be fat has to eat significantly fewer calories to stay at 150 pounds than someone who has always weighed 150 pounds. For a fat person to become a thin person, they have to embrace a lifestyle of constant starvation. Feeding a feeling of starvation is one of the strongest urges people have; faulting someone for eating when they feel they're starving is akin to faulting someone for wetting themselves if they've been denied a bathroom for 12 hours.
Edited by Jingthing
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