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ozzy111

Giving the extended family a piece of my mind

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Right on, there are limits to everything. But still, even (at this point) the wife is on the Farangs side, family "pressure" is ever-present. Not everybody is a Henry Kissinger, but I would try to "even-out" things with the rest of the family.

Once the family-attitude towards the Farang swings from "neutral" to "negative", it's hard to reverse and this can be reason for future grief for the Farang.

Cheers.

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Been through this myself recently. Have been married to an Isaan girl for 25 years and have 2 children (she has another 3) but we are a close family which I like. The problem is from one sister and her husband who seem to think falangs should support them forever. Sometimes the other sisters side with her because another sister lives in the UK and is supposed to have loads of money. Now its a joke since my income increased at 65. I bought 2 Rai of land everyone wanted and have put money in my wifes bank. For 4 years we struggled to make ends meet without help from her family. Now it is easy to see the allegiances move.

Cheers Mike

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You did the right thing. You can't put up with that stuff, enough is enough. Your daughter can't defend herself against them, as she's younger blah blah blah.

You did a good thing, if the other people think less of you because they know they can't bully you or push you around..... hell that's the perfect reaction!

A lot of people in the villages can be very rude, sometimes without realising it, and therefore it's important to ensure that they realise that their behaviour is inappropriate.

You should try to teach your children how important it is to stand up for their rights and for what they believe in too. As it's often part of the culture here to avoid conflicts, to not disagree with people if they are older etc. But if someone is disrespecting them, then they need to stand up for themselves and not be a doormat (As when they get older, you won't always be there to stand up for them).

Thank you for this post, I will add I do teach the kids along there lines and that my two elder boys are successful junior muay thai fighters trained by there grandfather and myself (we were both successful fighters in our own right in our own time), but I feel there success is also part of the problem directed toward our family, I feel it is more about jealously and my real loving commitment to my family that annoys them.

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anyone telling a 5 year old that they are fat & ugly needs a slap, so you did well to just give them a bollocking.

I don't care who they are or what country they come from, saying stuff like that to a child is out of order. I am tiger mother where my son is concerned & my husbands family know that the rules start & end with me when it comes to my boy. They all respect that, if they like it or not I don't know nor do I really care.

I show appropriate respect to them but also expect it back. It is not a one way street. Had the same happened in my family I would have done the same as op .

Parenting achieved.

Thanks for the support and agreed!

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I would say that you had a chance to nip this in the bud 10 years ago and the opportunity is now lost. You didn't establish your place in the pecking order and have been relegated to your present position. Face was lost a long time ago but your recent outburst has just crystalised it for everybody concerned.

How to remedy it? I haven't got a clue, but I doubt the situation will improve much with time.

It was never really that bad at first just niggling really (I couldn't speak Thai back then either to understand what was being) also the missus asked me not to say anything as she did'nt want to have any "problems" so what do you do.

As for remedying the situation I'm happy with the outcome.

Well done mate, especially sticking up for your daughter, good on ya .....

You as well as i know that if you really wanted to remedy(smooth over) the situation all ya need to do is invite them over your place for free food, booze and envelope with cash for grandma and you will be back in there good graces and your misses will be the talk of the town/villiage again....

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As we stay here longer we get wiser, my wife says i know too much, i say i have only learnt a small part of what there is to learn here. Be strong and stand up for what you believe,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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Good JOB! Let em know that the Jealousy they have toward your family is their problem and they need to it leave outside of your home and Family.

We have the same problem in our family to the extent that if a Sister-in-Law should come by to help out the wife when she isn't well is all of a sudden a supposed employee getting thousands of baht a month for helping out. It never ends. I have come to the point that I make sure if I need something done that I cant do myself I hire someone OUTSIDE the family.

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Perhaps move away from Peasantville.

We live in Khao Yai hardly peasantville

Perhaps move away from Peasantville.

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never experianced any shit from the wf's family,they all know where they stand with the wf,they get f-all 2weeks before the rest.

only the wfs.sisters bloke thought he could do what he liked when coming to our house,

going into my fridge at the bar taking what he liked also giving drinks to anybody with him i soon stopped that and told him you ask me first,i dont do it in your house so you dont do it in mine.he sulked like a baby having his dummy taken away.

now he visits maybe once a month.

this also applies to anybody that thinks i am a free ride,once bitten,twice shy.

ozzy your welcome anytime.

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Perhaps move away from Peasantville.

Are u calling his wife and kids peasants,which is far worse than saying the daughter is fat

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"gave them a brake down"

Maybe you should hold onto the piece of mind you've got before putting on the brakes.

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