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ozzy111

Giving the extended family a piece of my mind

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Buy a buffalo and hand them the rope so they assume that it is a gift to them. Then go to the village elder puyai and tell him you have bought him a buffalo and give him the family address so he can pick it up at his leisure.

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Forum rule 8) Not to post extremely negative views of Thailand or derogatory comments directed towards all Thais.

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any sane and loving family man would do exactly what you did. good for you for standing up for your daughter. now your in-laws should think twice about messing with you and your family. them not speaking to you doesn't seem like a great loss.

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Right on, there are limits to everything. But still, even (at this point) the wife is on the Farangs side, family "pressure" is ever-present. Not everybody is a Henry Kissinger, but I would try to "even-out" things with the rest of the family.

Once the family-attitude towards the Farang swings from "neutral" to "negative", it's hard to reverse and this can be reason for future grief for the Farang.

Cheers.

give everyone in the neighbourhood 20bht or more ,but not to the stupid family members,tell them you do this because budda ordered you to give to good people.

And than break contact with that family.

You dont know how to do this ?

Simple say that there face looks like the ass of a kwai.

Done.beatdeadhorse.gif

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you did right we had similar i blew up ,,took 2 years but the constant take take,,was enough for me we moved to ubon their still in phuket,,,they get nothing now,not even a text reply,my wifes loves her parents,but as humans there discusting behaviour,doesnt merit them ,with even an acknowledgment of respect,,they lost FACE big time all there aunts and uncles fired into them bigstyle,,its not nice to see a grown man cry,,or woman ,,but i loved every moment of it,,,weve never been happier,,granted we are all different,and handle situations as we see fit,,jealousy is an awful thing isnt it,,,,its what it boils down to with us farangs alot of the time,,,,were not all rich wide boys,,,and the liberty taking stops when i say it stops,,,i bet you got a back like a colander after them slagging you off,,trying to save there grim little faces,,enjoy the rest of your lives,,be a very happy family,,i hope it feels like a big rock taken off your shoulders,,,,,thumbsup.gifbiggrin.png ,,,,,,,,

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The message to my wife's family went out long long ago. She told them 'Don't make my husband angry - or else'. Her father and brother are already beyond the pale. I have great and loving relationships with all the rest, especially the kids who's favourite uncle I am, and they enjoy the benefits of me supporting them when they are needful.

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I'm an American, here for 12 years now, found my 1st job in Phuket as a P1 teacher, was allowed to live in the teachers dormatory and after school mixed with the Thai teachers and school workers also living on the school grounds. There was one 2 year old girl living there also with her grandma who was the school cook. The little girl was a special needs child with water on the brain, a club hand, vision problems, and left side body cordination difficulties. She was a throw-away child by her mother who would have nothing to do with her. I took the child under my wing after her grandma concented, and started teaching her English, and being she was so poor, I bought her clothes, toys, books and etc. She is insulted by her mother whenever she sees her, and she is verbally/physically abused by her grandma. I have stuck by her all these years, and she is 12 years old now, she has no friends at school and is constantly picked on and bullied by them. I am her best friend, and she's allowed to visit me on weekends and holidays. We meditate and study about the Buddha every time we're together, and she is such a great student that eventhough there's 175 students among the seven P5 classes in her school, because of her outstanding grades and respect for others, she was just awarded the Student Of The Week. Eventually she will be old enough to choose not to live among her family and will be free at last to live with me!

What a sad but yet wonderful story. I'm moved by it. Credit is due to you for your humanity and perseverance. You know, just one kind act from a stranger can save an abused child. What you are doing will achieve much more than even that and she will remember what you are doing for her for the rest of her life.

Good for you and I'm sure you will see your reward in the way she develops into adulthood.

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anyone telling a 5 year old that they are fat & ugly needs a slap, so you did well to just give them a bollocking.

I don't care who they are or what country they come from, saying stuff like that to a child is out of order. I am tiger mother where my son is concerned & my husbands family know that the rules start & end with me when it comes to my boy. They all respect that, if they like it or not I don't know nor do I really care.

I show appropriate respect to them but also expect it back. It is not a one way street. Had the same happened in my family I would have done the same as op .

Parenting achieved.

Boo, brilliant answer and spot on. I think all the advice of "when" you should have put a stop to this is irrational. Wisdom in hindsight is a marvelous thing, but sadly we have not developed the skills to turn the clocks back - yet! As a human being, the OP was pushed to his limit and by God under the circumstances, I would have felt exactly the same way. Life should be full of fun and happiness, not eroded by frequent snide remarks, gradually cutting away people's confidence, to be replaced by frustration and depression. Ozzy111, I and many others are completely on side with you and if the wider Family can't or won't understand the damage they have the potential to cause, then they are not worth worrying about. In time it might be worth testing the ground by offering the "olive branch" in some way. If it is rejected, move on and live your happy Family life without them. Good luck.

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If it was me, I would consider moving away. I wouldn't want to live among all that crap. But then I live the other side of Thailand from my 'in laws'.

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Don't invite people who badmouth you or your family into your home.

Amazing how that policy solves so many little problems.

Or into your garden, or into your car for errands, or into a restaurant for a paid meal, or................... Just block them off.

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If it was me, I would consider moving away. I wouldn't want to live among all that crap. But then I live the other side of Thailand from my 'in laws'.

Mate I'm not going anywhere, we live in a beautiful part of this country (Khao Yai) we have a nice home, my kids are go to a great international school with lots of friends, my in laws are great (her parents to be clear not some others as mentioned) why would I up root them. Generally I /we love it here!!!

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If it was me, I would consider moving away. I wouldn't want to live among all that crap. But then I live the other side of Thailand from my 'in laws'.

Mate I'm not going anywhere, we live in a beautiful part of this country (Khao Yai) we have a nice home, my kids are go to a great international school with lots of friends, my in laws are great (her parents to be clear not some others as mentioned) why would I up root them. Generally I /we love it here!!!

Yes I know, I am currently buying a holiday home in Khao Yai. I didn't necessarily mean move away from your region, but maybe to another part. Up to you, but I wouldn't want to live among people who I had strained relations with.

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