MobileContent Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I would have done exactly the same as the OP did. No one messes aroud with my kids, but thanks god the family including extending family doesn't show any gossip at least in front of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manxninja Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 For face read jealousy and ignorance. don't buy in to feudal thinking the human being has progressed for a reason. n a nutshell don't put up with any shit in thailand that you wouldn't put up with at home. The main problem with thai farang relationships is the man usually has the backbone of a jellyfish, it's sad to see them in big c all hen pecked and subserviant. grow some balls and be a man is the golden rule when dealing with a thai woman, if she genuinely respects you there will be no problem, if on the other hand you are her ATM be very carefull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klikster Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 At the risk of getting flamed .. I mentioned this to the wife who is an Isaan native, member of a large extended family, and in her late fifties.Her comment went something like, "Thai people do this often. It's their way (of teasing)" So I would suggest asking your wife what she really thinks about the issue. Do you really want to estrange your wife and children from their family? Will you take them to Australia or will they grow up in Khao Yai? I'm not suggesting that you are took the wrong, although your wife apparently feels she has lost face. Just something to think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Teasing or not, telling a 5yo they are ugly & fat is out of order. It may ve the way someone teases a child but regardless of who they are or what country they come from, my response would be similar to the op's. Just because it is the way someone does something, doesn't make it right or acceptable. Some Thai people also think it is ok to laugh at downs syndrome, I will never allow my son to follow the same mentailty. Simple really. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy111 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 At the risk of getting flamed .. I mentioned this to the wife who is an Isaan native, member of a large extended family, and in her late fifties.Her comment went something like, "Thai people do this often. It's their way (of teasing)" So I would suggest asking your wife what she really thinks about the issue. Do you really want to estrange your wife and children from their family? Will you take them to Australia or will they grow up in Khao Yai? I'm not suggesting that you are took the wrong, although your wife apparently feels she has lost face. Just something to think about. Not going anywhere, she backs me face lost or not, they will get over it or it is their problem! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 #94 and 95. you sure you understand Thailand? Laughing at people with disability is a fairly serious indictment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 #94 and 95. you sure you understand Thailand? Laughing at people with disability is a fairly serious indictment. eyeroll & giant sigh..... lets not do the whole, I know thailand more than you schlep m'kay. This is about basic manners & kindness. Plenty of Thai wont ever say something like that to a child. The op has the misfortune of having a nasty in law & has dealt with them the same way any parent would hopefully deal with a nasty relative anywhere. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I take objection to your statement: " Some Thai people also think it is ok to laugh at downs syndrome." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Do you. That's too bad for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 good evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espen Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You guys actually have the same opinion. (SinglePot and Boo.) Maybe SinglePot should read what Boo wrote in his post #93 again. You both mean that laughing at downs syndrome is wrong. (Funny to watch your bickering though.) My opinion is the same, of course. The thing is that many of the thais, where I live, make jokes and fun of people and call it "teasing". Where I come from it is called bullying. I will never think that this "teasing/bullying" is ok and I am sure that the recipients of this "teasing/bullying" are not ok with it either. From your posts I believe that you both agree that OP did the right thing. Am I right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 OP, envy in what ever form brings out the creatures from the woodwork. Many of us have got the T-shirt. You did well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You guys actually have the same opinion. (SinglePot and Boo.) Maybe SinglePot should read what Boo wrote in his post #93 again. You both mean that laughing at downs syndrome is wrong. (Funny to watch your bickering though.) My opinion is the same, of course. The thing is that many of the thais, where I live, make jokes and fun of people and call it "teasing". Where I come from it is called bullying. I will never think that this "teasing/bullying" is ok and I am sure that the recipients of this "teasing/bullying" are not ok with it either. From your posts I believe that you both agree that OP did the right thing. Am I right? no. klickster wrote #93 having discussed it with his Thai wife. Boo is a woman. My wife and extended family are Thai. Looks like I live in a different part of Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espen Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You guys actually have the same opinion. (SinglePot and Boo.) Maybe SinglePot should read what Boo wrote in his post #93 again. You both mean that laughing at downs syndrome is wrong. (Funny to watch your bickering though.) My opinion is the same, of course. The thing is that many of the thais, where I live, make jokes and fun of people and call it "teasing". Where I come from it is called bullying. I will never think that this "teasing/bullying" is ok and I am sure that the recipients of this "teasing/bullying" are not ok with it either. From your posts I believe that you both agree that OP did the right thing. Am I right? no. klickster wrote #93 having discussed it with his Thai wife. Boo is a woman. My wife and extended family are Thai. Looks like I live in a different part of Thailand. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 laugh out loud. Get your facts right before you start getting clever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You guys actually have the same opinion. (SinglePot and Boo.) Maybe SinglePot should read what Boo wrote in his post #93 again. You both mean that laughing at downs syndrome is wrong. (Funny to watch your bickering though.) My opinion is the same, of course. The thing is that many of the thais, where I live, make jokes and fun of people and call it "teasing". Where I come from it is called bullying. I will never think that this "teasing/bullying" is ok and I am sure that the recipients of this "teasing/bullying" are not ok with it either. From your posts I believe that you both agree that OP did the right thing. Am I right? no. klickster wrote #93 having discussed it with his Thai wife. Boo is a woman. My wife and extended family are Thai. Looks like I live in a different part of Thailand. Not sure what point you are trying to make. Do you agree the op was right in standing up for his child ? Or do you think he should have kept quite for the sake of appeasing the face of a bullying relative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espen Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 laugh out loud. Get your facts right before you start getting clever. Well, the facts you stated were beside the point. I was trying to state my opinion that it seemed to me that you both thought that what OP did was right. But some people read what they want to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I have posted on this thread previously. I will not criticise OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espen Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I have posted on this thread previously. I will not criticise OP. You totally missed my point. Never mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You guys actually have the same opinion. (SinglePot and Boo.) Maybe SinglePot should read what Boo wrote in his post #93 again. You both mean that laughing at downs syndrome is wrong. (Funny to watch your bickering though.) My opinion is the same, of course. The thing is that many of the thais, where I live, make jokes and fun of people and call it "teasing". Where I come from it is called bullying. I will never think that this "teasing/bullying" is ok and I am sure that the recipients of this "teasing/bullying" are not ok with it either. From your posts I believe that you both agree that OP did the right thing. Am I right? no. klickster wrote #93 having discussed it with his Thai wife. Boo is a woman. My wife and extended family are Thai. Looks like I live in a different part of Thailand. Not sure what point you are trying to make. Do you agree the op was right in standing up for his child ? Or do you think he should have kept quite for the sake of appeasing the face of a bullying relative. I have posted on this thread previously. I will not criticise OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 No one is asking you to critise anyone. But you have made some random comments about me & other posters so why not explain what it is your are attempting to say. If you disagree that is your perogative but just becuse some thai people might think this kind of "teasing" is ok, others, do not. it is up to the parent to look out for their own child. The op did just that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klikster Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Issues like these have so many layers and nuances that one solution will never fit all situations. I can stand up for my wife (don't have kids) without alienating whoever might offend her. Overdoing it can be really brutal. Most likely she will be here after I'm gone. So she will need good extended-family support/relationships. Up to you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Boo. I have not made random comments about any posters. I don't want to offend, criticise, or interfere with OP. He did right to defend daughter. My views on this subject raised by OP have already been said in my posts previously. I will defend Thai values in the same way OP defends daughter. For what it is worth, my relationship with my extended family is 'mediated' by my wife. She is the connection between farang husband, nuclear family and extended family. that is my experience. It is also my experience that Thai people are much more accepting of people with disabilities than farangs are. SP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espen Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Boo. I have not made random comments about any posters. I don't want to offend, criticise, or interfere with OP. He did right to defend daughter. My views on this subject raised by OP have already been said in my posts previously. I will defend Thai values in the same way OP defends daughter. For what it is worth, my relationship with my extended family is 'mediated' by my wife. She is the connection between farang husband, nuclear family and extended family. that is my experience. It is also my experience that Thai people are much more accepting of people with disabilities than farangs are. SP This is actually one of the most sensible posts I have seen all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinglePot Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Boo. I have not made random comments about any posters. I don't want to offend, criticise, or interfere with OP. He did right to defend daughter. My views on this subject raised by OP have already been said in my posts previously. I will defend Thai values in the same way OP defends daughter. For what it is worth, my relationship with my extended family is 'mediated' by my wife. She is the connection between farang husband, nuclear family and extended family. that is my experience. It is also my experience that Thai people are much more accepting of people with disabilities than farangs are. SP This is actually one of the most sensible posts I have seen all day. It's from the heart 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DILLIGAD Posted July 9, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted July 9, 2013 Boo. I have not made random comments about any posters. I don't want to offend, criticise, or interfere with OP. He did right to defend daughter. My views on this subject raised by OP have already been said in my posts previously. I will defend Thai values in the same way OP defends daughter. For what it is worth, my relationship with my extended family is 'mediated' by my wife. She is the connection between farang husband, nuclear family and extended family. that is my experience. It is also my experience that Thai people are much more accepting of people with disabilities than farangs are. SP This is actually one of the most sensible posts I have seen all day. It's from the heart I have noted many times how being called "fat" is handled/understood in a different way by Thai & Farang people. A farang will understand it as an insult with the appropriate reaction/s A Thai see"s it as a funny and not rude statement. They laugh at rotund people on television, for instance. Just my 2 penneth. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy111 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Share Posted July 9, 2013 Boo. I have not made random comments about any posters. I don't want to offend, criticise, or interfere with OP. He did right to defend daughter. My views on this subject raised by OP have already been said in my posts previously. I will defend Thai values in the same way OP defends daughter. For what it is worth, my relationship with my extended family is 'mediated' by my wife. She is the connection between farang husband, nuclear family and extended family. that is my experience. It is also my experience that Thai people are much more accepting of people with disabilities than farangs are. SP This is actually one of the most sensible posts I have seen all day. It's from the heart I have noted many times how being called "fat" is handled/understood in a different way by Thai & Farang people. A farang will understand it as an insult with the appropriate reaction/s A Thai see"s it as a funny and not rude statement. They laugh at rotund people on television, for instance. Just my 2 penneth. The comments are not/ were not just about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DILLIGAD Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 The comments are not/ were not just about that. Ozzy I realise that but felt it relevant to mention that 'fat' is sometimes not seen as rude by many Thai's that I have met. Hope things get sorted out to your satisfaction 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy111 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Share Posted July 9, 2013 The comments are not/ were not just about that. Ozzy I realise that but felt it relevant to mention that 'fat' is sometimes not seen as rude by many Thai's that I have met. Hope things get sorted out to your satisfaction Understood mate, Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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