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Loosing control while being bored.


Dancealot

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I think a lot can be put down to the general mindset of certain villages.

I regularly travel through 6 villages from the town I call home to the wifes village. Of those villages there are 2 no matter what time of the day or night I travel through I see bored teens on stripped down motorbikes in mini gangs or older addicts looking bored, drunk or stoned.

Those 2 villages always seem to be having parties for one reason or another and stand out due to the lack of pride they take in their houses and surrounds. The money must be available to cover the cost of all the parties they have...it's just not being used to improve life.

Meanwhile in the other villages they keep their houses tidy and clean away litter. Teens don't appear bored and they lack motorbike gangs. The number of teens is also lower. I've often asked why the difference in the village lifestyles. The answer is always the same. The tidy villages are using their income wisely and sending the kids onto further education.

Interesting, Farma, so you are observing a difference between village cultures. In other words: Local village culture influences general village consensus.. And this is different in every village.

The village I know, constitutes a firm segregation between the tidy and the sloppy. Here the tidy tend to dominate the lifestyle and therefore kids are encouraged to do good, rather then bad.

Still there are some who I have lost faith in...

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I understand where you're coming from Dancealot and not having a dig at your village.

I mentioned mindset rather than income and education as I tend to believe its more the general attitude of the village. The villages I mentioned all have similar incomes and education levels and are all within 20 km of each other. I'm also cheating a little as I was privy to a recent report involving these villages.

The majority of the villages I mentioned are improving economically as the kids get educated. Education improves the kids income which then filters down to the families. These villages are showing signs of modernisation, have less drug problem and fewer health problems.

On the other hand the 2 villages mentioned are stagnating and it could be debated going backwards. The levels of HIV and TB along with yaba use are on the rise which then has a knock on effect of reducing income and quality of life.

There have been a series of education programs introduced to try and turn those villages lifestyles around but so far has fallen on deaf ears. Even the local temples have become involved to no avail.

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Thanks for the input, guys.

Question still remains why the lazy ness? Why do I keep hearing everytime, BIL's, for instance waste their time, while the girls appear docile....

My best guesses for their motivations are:

1 lack of structure and hope for a good future.

2 they are not responsible enough to handle their freedom

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There have been many posts by members of Thaivisa complaining that they are unable to get and keep staff. Why are there one and a half million Burmese and Cambodians living and working in this Country? There is plenty of work available for those that want it.

Of course millions of Isaan people do leave their homes and work in Bangkok or other industrialised areas, This often leads to social discord, how would you like to be only able to see your family twice a year at New Year and Songkran? Many are not prepared to leave their home comfort zone, or are just too plain idle.

The Thai culture of condescending towards their children does not help. Seems to me that many Thai parents just cannot say no to their offspring. I'll bet every single one of us has witnessed, time after time, at the local mom and pop shop parents indulging their overweight kids with unhealthy 'kanom' (sweets). This indulging does not end when the kids reach adulthood, young adults (usually males) sponging off their parents. This is how the family works in Asia, I look after my kids whilst I can, later they will look after me in my old age. Centuries of tradition aren't going to change overnight.

Look on the bright side. Bangkok is sinking, perhaps in the future more thought will be given to locating industries in Isaan (it's already happening to some extent) and there will be more job opportunities closer to home.

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Seems to me that many Thai parents just cannot say no to their offspring.

This is a very just and objective observation, barrybankruad. I have witnessed this, first hand, time and again and think this approach to raising children will hurt and jeapardise their develpoment.

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Nothing to do with boredom. In my wife's family, the 2 girls went out and got themselves a university education and the boy loafed (as per Thai culture), mixed with the wrong crowd and joined in a group of other like minded idiots and kicked another lad to death, costing the family a fortune in compensation (naturally none of them felt guilty). He was banished to Bangkok to work in a factory and the 2 girls now have management jobs with expat sized salaries. As they say TIT. I get along with the sister in law, but have zero in common with the murderer.

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Couple of years military service should sort them out.

Sort out what?

Teach them better aiming next time they decide to settle things with shooting?

I dont see how idling around in military would be solution for the villagers.

Getting a job would be, but there isnt that many jobs, especially in the countryside, period.

Thai stat is a big fat lie about unemployment beeing 1% in the country.

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Part of the problem is the loss of authority within the village and the family. Before the advent of relatively cheap transport, the village was a self-contained unit. The pu-yai-baan was boss, but within the family, the father's word was law. If he told his sons to go off to Bangkok and find work, they damn well went.

Now the father's authority is negligible. My neighbour is a case in point. The father told his eldest son to go off to work; the son refused (and the mother supported him). Now the boy lies around all day doing nothing.

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''The devil finds work for idle hands" don't you just love some of those old sayings that the over 50's of us grew up with.They say ''old is gold'' and they're right.I can think of too many what was taught to me and which i pass on to my 33 year old son and my 20 year old daughter may god bless them both.When i see bad kids,I never blame the kids instead I look at the teachings of the parents.FACT No baby is born bad.As a parent you have to expect to reap what you sow.

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''The devil finds work for idle hands" don't you just love some of those old sayings that the over 50's of us grew up with.They say ''old is gold'' and they're right.I can think of too many what was taught to me and which i pass on to my 33 year old son and my 20 year old daughter may god bless them both.When i see bad kids,I never blame the kids instead I look at the teachings of the parents.FACT No baby is born bad.As a parent you have to expect to reap what you sow.

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'An idle mind is a devil's workshop' if i remember correctly. Very true.

Did you know his grandpa?

Great memory. Anyway, just joking.

We get the point and its a national shame and very reflective of a lot of Thai consciousness especially in the villages. Up to you. Its too hot.

and so on . . .

Within our village family we have some very bright kids whose parents are illiterate and who are top of their school. Very studious, very driven,

and lovely natures. . .

despite illiteracy, all the parents are very active. . . industrious, with the little they have

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I am going to float a theory that will seem odd, but I think there is something to it:

A lot of this laziness regarding young men is due to the easy access to sex for the young men. Hear me out.

When I think about the guys I knew back at home, even the ones who went straight from high school to a job, their primary motivation to work was women. Sure, they wanted cars and games and excitement, but you needed money to get women--to take them out to dinner, to have transportation for that, to have decent enough clothes and a haircut, to mention a few.

Here, I see many guys like my BIL (kind of...long story). He is about 20 now. For the last 2 or 3 years, he has worked off and on, but mostly he specializes in loafing around the house, smoking the odd cigarette, making omelets for himself and cooking up some pork....maybe some whiskey with when he runs into 60 baht or whatever it costs now turns up. So, he is not a degenerate or anything...no trouble with the law or any drugs or anything and he really doesn't drink much. It is just odd that he doesn't feel the need to make money (I would estimate that, on any given day, he wakes up with somewhere between 0 and 50 baht in his pockets).

Amazingly, the guy still gets girls and gets laid! And not the paid kind. So, he has no need to actively strive to get more money or even to get a date with a woman.

Again, I am not saying that this explains the whole phenomenon, but it must play a role. I know it would have for me as well when I was that age.

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