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lovinglifeinthailand

first experince of gf isaan village

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OP, I wish you and your future family well. There are some very positive posts here to help you.

If I may add a few suggestions:

Be sure that you will have an adequate income into retirement.

Sort out health insurance while you are still young.

Consider your child's educational needs. You may agree that a private school is important and then there may well be university to pay for.

If your wife is from a farming family she may appreciate some land on which to potter. Helping her with that could turn out to be cheaper than shopping to relieve her boredom. It depends on her background and wishes. of course.

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So Matt, you came for a wife?

When I came here as a single guy I had different priorities to now. I wanted to live a care free easy life on an Island, go diving every day, hang out with cool people, party hard and sleep in bars, do water sports, learn Muay Thai, be fluent in Thai and so on. You can see how that worked out!

Now I have children obviously my priorities have changed and even though I would not do it without them, I cannot wait to move back to the UK with my missus and kids and give my children a UK upbringing similar to how I had and loved myself.

You telling me that you live in Thailand because it is cheap and you get to play golf 3 times a week makes me think that you and I have totally different priorities when it comes to our kids, but it's your kids and it's it's totally your choice to bear.

Good for you matt,while your in the uk raising your kids,i'll be here with mine.thumbsup.gif

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I recommend the OP uses his £30k to set his missus and newborn up in the UK.

Sounds like he does alright there. Why jack a good thing in?

Sent from my MotoA953 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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So Matt, you came for a wife?

When I came here as a single guy I had different priorities to now. I wanted to live a care free easy life on an Island, go diving every day, hang out with cool people, party hard and sleep in bars, do water sports, learn Muay Thai, be fluent in Thai and so on. You can see how that worked out!

Now I have children obviously my priorities have changed and even though I would not do it without them, I cannot wait to move back to the UK with my missus and kids and give my children a UK upbringing similar to how I had and loved myself.

You telling me that you live in Thailand because it is cheap and you get to play golf 3 times a week makes me think that you and I have totally different priorities when it comes to our kids, but it's your kids and it's it's totally your choice to bear.

 

Good for you matt,while your in the uk raising your kids,i'll be here with mine.Posted Image

Raising them in the bottom ranked in education of the 8 ASEAN countries.

Good call Jo, hope all that golf is worth it in the end.

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So Matt, you came for a wife?

When I came here as a single guy I had different priorities to now. I wanted to live a care free easy life on an Island, go diving every day, hang out with cool people, party hard and sleep in bars, do water sports, learn Muay Thai, be fluent in Thai and so on. You can see how that worked out!

Now I have children obviously my priorities have changed and even though I would not do it without them, I cannot wait to move back to the UK with my missus and kids and give my children a UK upbringing similar to how I had and loved myself.

You telling me that you live in Thailand because it is cheap and you get to play golf 3 times a week makes me think that you and I have totally different priorities when it comes to our kids, but it's your kids and it's it's totally your choice to bear.

Good for you matt,while your in the uk raising your kids,i'll be here with mine.thumbsup.gif

Raising them in the bottom ranked in education of the 8 ASEAN countries.

Good call Jo, hope all that golf is worth it in the end.

There will be no mohammeds is my kids classesbiggrin.png and no dole to prop them up when they fail.

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Good for you matt,while your in the uk raising your kids,i'll be here with mine.thumbsup.gif

Raising them in the bottom ranked in education of the 8 ASEAN countries.

Good call Jo, hope all that golf is worth it in the end.

There will be no mohammeds is my kids classesbiggrin.png and no dole to prop them up when they fail.

Motorbike taxi operators???

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Good for you matt,while your in the uk raising your kids,i'll be here with mine.thumbsup.gif

Raising them in the bottom ranked in education of the 8 ASEAN countries.

Good call Jo, hope all that golf is worth it in the end.

There will be no mohammeds is my kids classesbiggrin.png and no dole to prop them up when they fail.

Motorbike taxi operators???

Forty acres of land to work as punishmentlaugh.png

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Your story almost mirrors mine from 3 years ago, I can give you a heads up for the next 3 years if you like.

You need to think long and hard about building or moving in Isaan because the novelty you experienced on your first time here will wear off but the financial commitment will be much more than you anticipate. Any money you spend here is spent and you will never get it back, Thais don't buy second hand houses so this house is either yours forever unless you give it away to a family member.

I was 32, my gf a couple of years younger than me, and just like you I visited my gf's parents in a large village in the rural part of Ubon. Everyone here are farmers and at the time I felt like I was in an episode of the Flintstones it was so basic. I loved that everything was so simple and communal here and within a couple of weeks I was talking about building a small house in this village so we could have a home and a base here after a year of just bouncing all over Thailand living out of suitcases. My gf's parents were (still are) fantastic and I dreamed up a wonderful life I could have here if I built my own den with aircons, a PS3 room, hot showers, a pool room, a swimming pool, a gym and so on. Well I now have most of that and more but I can tell you already to forget the pool table, it's just a beautiful pipedream: a table is about 200k and that doesn't include shipping it to Isaan. You also need a 30m2 room for a full size table so that is 300k from the house budget to build so you are looking at a minimum of 0.5m baht for a pool room that you in all practicality won't use cuz nobody in the village will know the game apart from you and your missus, and you'd be much better off using that space as a kid's playroom.

I was also expecting to pay a maximum of 1m for a decent house here, it ended up costing me 2m for the house then you have to buy a Thai kitchen (outside), a Western kitchen (inside), a carport, a gate and the surrounding walls and fence, all the furniture, generator, water tanks and pumps, aircons and so on. I think I've probably dumped about 3m into this place so far and I still have to build the carport and the surrounding fence. It would've been MUCH cheaper to rent a decent condo in BKK and just visit the family once a month or have them stay in BKK with us. A car will set you back at least 1m too. You think your family is going to let the farang buy a old bucket and show them up in the village when other locals have a new car? Think again.

So how did it work out? Well for one I have no friends here. Zero. People are really nice to me and I've had no real dramas that I can think of apart from some petty gossip from people who I don't even know. I regularly drink with my gf's family and have parties all the time but there are no other expats in this village and no locals my age who share any of my interests in the slightest so I am totally isolated here. Also, I speak Thai/Isaan to everyone but whenever and wherever I go in this village there are always people still pointing and shouting "farang" at me after 3 years, and I'm talking about my neighbours and their kids who have seen me daily for the last 18 months, they have been to my son's birthday party, drank my booze and eaten my food in my house and they know my name, but I am still just looked at as the stranger here who needs to be shouted at every time I walk down my road so being treated as a 2nd class citizen after everything I've done here does irk me a little.

As for the local culture, well I dislike Isaan food to say the least; I love Thai food but hate eating raw meat in cold blood soup or offcuts and bones or anything with Pla Raa after seeing how it's made here, so apart from the occasional Som Tam I don't share any food likes with anyone and at any get-togethers I eat Thai food while everyone else eats their Isaan food. I soon got bored of that one Isaan song which differs slightly that is played all the time here too.

The highlight of my week used to be playing PS3 games online with my mates in the UK but now we have 2 kids I rarely get the time any more so now my favourite day is Sunday when I get up early and spend all morning cooking a huge Sunday Roast lunch for me and my gf's family, drinking beers by myself while I listen to my local home radio station over the internet, basically simulating my Sundays I had when I was back in the UK. I stream UK TV over a UK VPN because local TV is the worst of the worst. I'm sure as a young guy you will feel the same, with nothing to do and nobody to do it with you will soon get bored like I was/am. It's not like this is my first time away from home, I've constantly lived outside of the UK since 1999 in various places all over Asia, some much more remote and isolated than here, and I have not been as homesick or bored as I am now.

You also have to think about what is best for your kid. You want them to be healthy, safe and well educated. For me, none of those things are here in Isaan. Even the best private hospital here is 1 hour a way from where we live. We are surrounded by tropical diseases and even though we are fastidiously clean and careful, our son got hand foot and mouth disease twice by the time he was 18 months old including the Enterovirus71 which can be deadly and was very scary. Lastly any expat who makes his kids go to an Isaan school should be done for child neglect.

My gf's parent's adore my children and spend every day with them but I am starting to have issues with their discipline and lack of with my son, and the sorts of things and habits they are teaching him.

I knew when I started this experience that it was only going to be short term until my son was old enough to go to school and then we would move away and come back to this house during holidays to visit the family. Well since then I have now decided to move back to the UK when he is ready for school and raise him in the UK instead. I made up a list of pros and cons and the UK won vs Thailand 20:4. Maybe you should also have a good think about what you are going to do.

If I was you I would weigh up the following scenarios from a realistic perspective, considering cost, practicality, pros and cons;

- building a house in the Thai countryside and being isolated.

- extending your gf's parent's house to give you both a living space, which you either live in full or part time.

- renting long term in Pattaya/Jomtien and visting Isaan when you feel the urge then returning back to civilisation when you've had enough.

- Moving back the UK.

Believe it or not, I am quite happy here with our lives at the moment, but probably because I know that it is only temporary and in about 18 months we will be moving to the UK. My point is, everything that I expected from my first visit here worked out very differently and not for the best I think. If I could re-write history and my gf's family came from Chiang Mai or Koh Phi Phi or just about anywhere else in Thailand that wasn't Isaan, then I would.

Blinding post mate, tell it how it is!!!

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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Excellent post!! I to have bit the bullet and left the UK. I'm 36 my wife is 30 our baby boy is a week over four months old now. We bought some land last year, yes in my wife's name before you say blah blah. I am currently living with my inlays and have been for 6 months with no issues. We live down south in Trang so it's lush green an quiet. We have all you need in Trang centre Macro Robinson's etc etc. Our land is super quiet which is what we chose. It's 30 minutes away from the family as we didn't want to be living on top of them.

I will have to leave for a three month period every year to go work on the right contract. For me this is fine. I'm very happy here and I've been coming here now for years and staying with the in laws. Not once had a problem with them.

Theirs an awful lot of negativity on TV we all know that, that's why I don't post very often. But thought I would coment on this one good look mate fingers crossed it works for us both!! Haha.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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Excellent post!! I to have bit the bullet and left the UK. I'm 36 my wife is 30 our baby boy is a week over four months old now. We bought some land last year, yes in my wife's name before you say blah blah. I am currently living with my inlays and have been for 6 months with no issues. We live down south in Trang so it's lush green an quiet. We have all you need in Trang centre Macro Robinson's etc etc. Our land is super quiet which is what we chose. It's 30 minutes away from the family as we didn't want to be living on top of them.

I will have to leave for a three month period every year to go work on the right contract. For me this is fine. I'm very happy here and I've been coming here now for years and staying with the in laws. Not once had a problem with them.

Theirs an awful lot of negativity on TV we all know that, that's why I don't post very often. But thought I would coment on this one good look mate fingers crossed it works for us both!! Haha.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Nice post BUT your dig at negativity from members is a crap statement. Do you think all relationships here are and will always be heaven ?

AND, you stated, keep your fingers crossed. Hmmmmmm, folk post here perhaps from stuff they have learned and witnessed. But good luck to all thumbsup.gif

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I've had 13 years of them. It's been hell.

Last week I gave the old woman 4mil and said make that work because that's your lot.

I'm finally free.

Sent from my MotoA953 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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I've had 13 years of them. It's been hell.

Last week I gave the old woman 4mil and said make that work because that's your lot.

I'm finally free.

Sent from my MotoA953 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

What are your plans now? why has it been hell for you?

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