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BANGKOK 24 May 2019 22:23
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bangkok blue

Time I got sober!

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Well my quest for sobriety has failed miserably! Got the urge to go out Friday and have been binging ever since. Every time I do this I feel very guilty about how much I've let myself down. I know when I go several weeks without a drink I feel mentally and physically better, so god knows why I keep doing this. I just hope after this recent session I can regain my composure and see it through properly.

Maybe it's because of my childhood when my mother was super strict and wouldn't let me go out or have friends around. My father has been sectioned 3 times under the mental health act. It is a worry for me that I have developed or inherited some form of mental illness.

I don't know where to go from here, as I keep making the same mistakes. I don't want to cut out my friends and stop socialising with them just because they are drinkers. I do feel I'm missing out when I don't join them on a night out. Bit I also know what happens next if I do.

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Good lord if I had to stop drinking forever I 'll get drunk tomorrow lucky I only have to stop one day at a time. Been doing that for 30 yrs. good luck on your journey

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

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Well my quest for sobriety has failed miserably! Got the urge to go out Friday and have been binging ever since. Every time I do this I feel very guilty about how much I've let myself down. I know when I go several weeks without a drink I feel mentally and physically better, so god knows why I keep doing this. I just hope after this recent session I can regain my composure and see it through properly.

Maybe it's because of my childhood when my mother was super strict and wouldn't let me go out or have friends around. My father has been sectioned 3 times under the mental health act. It is a worry for me that I have developed or inherited some form of mental illness.

I don't know where to go from here, as I keep making the same mistakes. I don't want to cut out my friends and stop socialising with them just because they are drinkers. I do feel I'm missing out when I don't join them on a night out. Bit I also know what happens next if I do.

I had a very similar problem when I first kicked beer. I didn't want to lose my "friends".

One day, it occurred to me, these "friends" were people I would never associate with back in the UK. I wasn't drinking with them because I genuinely liked them and thought of them as friends, I was drinking with them because they were the only option. So there I am, drinking with a bunch of piss head wasters every day, in the worst kind of bars possible (run by fat ex bar girls, no class, rough as hell), with people that I really had nothing in common with.

I walked out one evening, and have never gone back to those bars since. And you know what? I don't miss those "friends" one bit.

This removed the single largest obstacle for me, that of peer pressure, how do you sit in a bar for several hours, surrounded by other people getting slowly inebriated? The simple answer is you don't. Cut it from your life completely.

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Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

Edited by impulse

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Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

" 100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you."

I really think it is time AA disciples removed this smug expression from their repertoire

For one thing all alcoholics out there, especially the functioning alcoholics, are not steeped in the 'misery' you appear to advise they will be returned

There are those with a reasonable life who get a buzz by drinking, but are aware that they may be pushing the boundries toward a problem with alcohol, or they are lucid enough to realise alcohol is encroaching too much into their everyday lives, all alcoholics are not flooded with misery in the gutter!

One of the lures of alcohol is the very fact that it relaxes people for a time and they feel they are having a good time, so telling these people they will be returned to 'misery' is a bit of an empty threat.............corporate style one label for all.....I'm disappointed Mr AA, if that line is the best your disciples have to offer.

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Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

" 100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you."

I really think it is time AA disciples removed this smug expression from their repertoire

For one thing all alcoholics out there, especially the functioning alcoholics, are not steeped in the 'misery' you appear to advise they will be returned

There are those with a reasonable life who get a buzz by drinking, but are aware that they may be pushing the boundries toward a problem with alcohol, or they are lucid enough to realise alcohol is encroaching too much into their everyday lives, all alcoholics are not flooded with misery in the gutter!

One of the lures of alcohol is the very fact that it relaxes people for a time and they feel they are having a good time, so telling these people they will be returned to 'misery' is a bit of an empty threat.............corporate style one label for all.....I'm disappointed Mr AA, if that line is the best your disciples have to offer.

I take alcoholism and its devastation of people's lives very seriously. Myself, I don't take too seriously any more. In fact, I have a lot of fun with life and with self deprecating humor.

Here's another one you'll hate: AA doesn't work for people who need to stay sober, just for people who want to stay sober.

The guys you're describing probably don't want it if they're still "getting the buzz" and and "feel they're having a good time". I used to be envious of those folks. Today, I like my life the way it is.

If they're still living the high life, enjoy it. I hope it never turns on them. But if and when it does, and they want to stay sober, there's a seat for them, and a lot of support from people who blazed the trail long before me, and long after me.

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Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

" 100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you."

I really think it is time AA disciples removed this smug expression from their repertoire

For one thing all alcoholics out there, especially the functioning alcoholics, are not steeped in the 'misery' you appear to advise they will be returned

There are those with a reasonable life who get a buzz by drinking, but are aware that they may be pushing the boundries toward a problem with alcohol, or they are lucid enough to realise alcohol is encroaching too much into their everyday lives, all alcoholics are not flooded with misery in the gutter!

One of the lures of alcohol is the very fact that it relaxes people for a time and they feel they are having a good time, so telling these people they will be returned to 'misery' is a bit of an empty threat.............corporate style one label for all.....I'm disappointed Mr AA, if that line is the best your disciples have to offer.

I take alcoholism and its devastation of people's lives very seriously. Myself, I don't take too seriously any more. In fact, I have a lot of fun with life and with self deprecating humor.

Here's another one you'll hate: AA doesn't work for people who need to stay sober, just for people who want to stay sober.

The guys you're describing probably don't want it if they're still "getting the buzz" and and "feel they're having a good time". I used to be envious of those folks. Today, I like my life the way it is.

If they're still living the high life, enjoy it. I hope it never turns on them. But if and when it does, and they want to stay sober, there's a seat for them, and a lot of support from people who blazed the trail long before me, and long after me.

Correct - I dislike glib 'catchphrases'

I suggest the only way forward is the individual accept full responsibilty for their lifestyle, no more no less, if sitting with reformed alcoholics throwing out glib catchphrases assists some in this way forward, a type of community spirit, then I am pleased for them, the end justifies the means, but I don't find that approach attractive at all.

I could no more "Cheerfully refund misery" than fail to try and guide "need" into "want".....just a different perception I guess

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Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

Glad you made it to a couple of meetings.

I've met multi-millionaires in AA, and skid row bums. Some of my fondest memories are of convicted felons who had recreated their lives by following the examples set by folks in the rooms. I've met respectable, admirable women that used to do tricks for cheap wine and crack, and they have turned their lives around.

There isn't a canned slogan, jargon, or saying that speaks to such a wide diversity of people.

Some of the slogans used to drive me up a wall, too. I still don't get some of them after 24 years. I have found that the slogans that speak to me, leave some of my best friends cold. So I grab hold of the ones that work for me, and leave an open mind for the ones I don't get- yet.

Best of luck. Keep us posted.

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They say AA works for people who be leave in god and those who do not. But does not work for people who think they're god. So if you do'nt think your god you be OK

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

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Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

The book discusses many of the issues raised here. As to hanging out in bars, etc - I was told in a number of ways that there is no place I cannot go and stay sober - as long as my reason for being there is not being around alcohol. I have found that to be true, I have been to bachelor parties, birthday parties, weddings, wakes - all the places where alcohol is prevalent, but alcohol is not the reason I'm there.

I learned through AA that I do have a disease and that it is of two parts: as described by Carl Jung is is an allergy of the body coupled with an obsession of the mind. Treating one but not the other rarely succeeds.

Chok dii!!

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Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

The book discusses many of the issues raised here. As to hanging out in bars, etc - I was told in a number of ways that there is no place I cannot go and stay sober - as long as my reason for being there is not being around alcohol. I have found that to be true, I have been to bachelor parties, birthday parties, weddings, wakes - all the places where alcohol is prevalent, but alcohol is not the reason I'm there.

I learned through AA that I do have a disease and that it is of two parts: as described by Carl Jung is is an allergy of the body coupled with an obsession of the mind. Treating one but not the other rarely succeeds.

Chok dii!!

Wasn't it Dr. Silkworth who said first said it was a allergy - Step 1 .

Carl Jung was responsible for Step 2. Interesting that no alcoholic wrote the steps. I think the Oxford group wrote the rest or most of them anyway.

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I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut.

Delighted to hear you have a mainly positive experience in the rooms so far. At the risk of sounding as if I am teaching my granny how to suck eggs, I don't think this saying means you should never go into a bar or wet place again. It means you shouldn't hang out in them. The advice I got was if I have a good reason to be in a wet place, then go - like to meet friends. However if you are making the pub your prime social outlet then you significantly increase your chances of drinking again; plenty of alternatives to bars for socialising - you'll probably start drinking a lot more coffee! I would advise you to avoid other people's piss ups as they might inadvertently become your next relapse. I go out to events and functions in bars and hotels and never been bothered about the drinking. In fact the first wedding I went to sober, I realised that there was no one at it who was hammered in the way I would have been had I been drinking! Keep well and strong.

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I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut.

Delighted to hear you have a mainly positive experience in the rooms so far. At the risk of sounding as if I am teaching my granny how to suck eggs, I don't think this saying means you should never go into a bar or wet place again. It means you shouldn't hang out in them. The advice I got was if I have a good reason to be in a wet place, then go - like to meet friends. However if you are making the pub your prime social outlet then you significantly increase your chances of drinking again; plenty of alternatives to bars for socialising - you'll probably start drinking a lot more coffee! I would advise you to avoid other people's piss ups as they might inadvertently become your next relapse. I go out to events and functions in bars and hotels and never been bothered about the drinking. In fact the first wedding I went to sober, I realised that there was no one at it who was hammered in the way I would have been had I been drinking! Keep well and strong.

Many thanks for your advice. Good point.

I feel loads better at the moment. Nearly 3 weeks sober. I am anxious about upcoming events I have to attend. Close friends I hope will understand I'm doing this to be a better person and won't shun me.

There is a religious aspect to AA, which i dont like. Although the sharing of similar experiences I've had makes me realise I'm doing the right thing.

Good luck to the rest of you on the same journey.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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