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BANGKOK 27 May 2019 18:30
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bangkok blue

Time I got sober!

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I'm happy for you BB. Don't bother too much about close friends and their thoughts. Real friends will be happy for you. Just try to be open minded about the religious angle - I found calling it spiritual helped as religious did and does my head in!

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Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

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When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

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Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

just went to the meetings. Never got a sponsor or worked the steps. I got annoyed with religious references. I know I have a problem. But don't know how to tackle it.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

just went to the meetings. Never got a sponsor or worked the steps. I got annoyed with religious references. I know I have a problem. But don't know how to tackle it.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I went to AA meetings in Bangkok and never got a sponsor, never really talked to anyone and never shared. Just sat in the back and thought that the fact that I was at a meeting would take the craving to drink away. I was puzzled when I bought a can of Singh in a shop on wireless road. That led to another binge or 3 and then I was ready to try again but this time I was willing to go to any lengths to get sober. I was dying. I would have gone to jail for 10 years if it was the only way and told my sponsor this. It was very hard for me to ask someone to be my sponsor but it was necessary as I couldn't do the steps myself. I was rebellious and deliberately didn't do the 90 meeting in 90 day suggestion. AS it turned out, it was much easier than going to jail for 10 years.

I am thankful that I had it so bad that I was, and still am, willing to do anything.

I have known many that chose not to go to any length and are still drunk or dead. It's not an easy choice for some - die an alcoholic death or adopt some spiritual principles.

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Whenever you see a reference to "God", think "Group Of Drunks". Let them be your "Higher Power" until you get past the spiritual hurdle. Works for a lot of people.

I've been told by Catholic priests and Methodist ministers that He won't mind. Don't know any Rabbis to ask, 'cause I don't run into a lot of them in AA meetings.

My first sponsor told me to write up a list of things I like about God on one page, and the things I fear about God on another. He offered me a lighter and we burned the second page.

It's "God, as we understand him", which is NOT the God I grew up with as taught by the nuns. Don't worry if it gives you the heebie-jeebies the first few hundred times you hear a reference to God.

In fact, tell someone how uncomfortable you are with the God thing, and talk it out over a coffee at a meeting after the meeting. That's where I've always gotten my best guidance.

Edited by impulse

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All too easy to way over do it living in Thailand.

Just had a very sober weekend for the first time in a while and already feeling better for it. I will be aiming to keep it up.

Everyone's different but the people i've known who have been to AA have ended up turning a mild problem into a personal crisis. No substitute for self discipline and finding an enjoyable alternative to drinking, in my opinion.

I have seen people with just a mild problem join AA and turn it into a personal problem because they were sober and able to see it for what it had really been.

That is a fact that I have witnessed and heard people who had gone through it admit it was a lot worse than they had thought and they had found a whole new way of living happy joyous and free.

I have seen some do it by them selves and I have seen some do it with religion. What ever works for you. But just remember just not drinking can get boring and unless you have managed to change your way of thinking you stand a good chance to pick up that fatal first drink again.

I would like to mention that at first it will be tough and then you will find it easier. The time frame for every one is different. The trick is to learn to enjoy life after the initial good time passes.

To all who try I wish you success and happiness.

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"I also think you are being irresponsible in glibly dismissing AA as "susbtituting one addiction for another" and being based on a concept of being"a hopeless sinner". I have never heard any of these concepts in any meetings I have attended on four continents over the last ten years. If AA was based on being a "hopeless sinner" it would have crashed decades ago. Sober alcoholics as a general rule don't want sinfulness and conventional religion even though many of us, myself included, find ways to re-connect with religion as we get sober."

My view, which is my view, and you are entitled to yours, is that people get addicted to meetings. I agree that it is better than drinking. And the dire warnings that if one doesn't continue going to meetings, they will surely slip back into drink. There is a group think element to AA, and one doesn't like to risk bringing up topics that go against the canon of AA. The twelve steps include at least two religious elements: 1. I am powerless 2. I give myself over to a higher power. Which, by extension, means you are lower, right? Christianity hasn't crashed, so why should AA? AA is like a crutch, and crutches are fine if you have a broken leg. But when the leg heals, give up the crutch. But the idea that a person will be an alcoholic always (and of course spread the word, another religious facet, come to think of it) is a bit of a stretch. AA also has no better success rate than any other recovery plan. Drinking too much is a behavior, not a disease (people don't wake up and say "I think I'll have cancer today" but they do the behavior of picking up the drink), so deal with the behavior and remove the label "alcoholic", which seems a permanent identification. The only label that fits humans is "human" or some other physical characteristic. Beyond that is behavior, which is influenced by belief systems, such as the one promoted by AA. I suggest that if you want to be free of drinking, do it in a manner that respects your individual dignity and ability to make choices and follow up on that. It is harder in that you would have to take responsibility for your life and choices, but there is an element of freedom that is worth the effort. If you want to stop a behavior, stop the behavior. And yes, I have been to meetings.

A great resource is soberrecovery.com. Really supportive forums, for both AA based and secular based minded people.

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As a recovering Alcholic myself, I am glad to hear you took the first step, there is 12 steps to this program and its one step at a time. After 28 years of being sober I have to remind myself often that I am only one drink away for being drunk. That and with the help of my higher power, I will be sober the rest of my life. Its all about the first drink. Like you, I could not quit after the first drink. Good luck to you and if I can help in any way please let me know. As this is part of the 12th step. Please go to an AA meeting, find a sponser and work the steps. You will be surprised in no time. It just keeps getting better.

Or if you would prefer a less religious approach to abstinence, you can try Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery.

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I don't know where to go from here, as I keep making the same mistakes. I don't want to cut out my friends and stop socialising with them just because they are drinkers. I do feel I'm missing out when I don't join them on a night out. Bit I also know what happens next if I do.

You have a choice to make there. Sobriety (which will most likely not include your present recreational lifestyle and friends), or continue on with drinking.

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Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

just went to the meetings. Never got a sponsor or worked the steps. I got annoyed with religious references. I know I have a problem. But don't know how to tackle it.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

The couple meetings I went to long ago had everyone chanting The Lord's Prayer at the end. Not particularly attractive to an atheist such as myself. Rational Recovery and Smart Recovery resonated much stronger to me. Also, Allen Carr's book "Easy Way to Control Alcohol" is great.

Good luck anyway!

Edited by tominbkk

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As a recovering Alcholic myself, I am glad to hear you took the first step, there is 12 steps to this program and its one step at a time. After 28 years of being sober I have to remind myself often that I am only one drink away for being drunk. That and with the help of my higher power, I will be sober the rest of my life. Its all about the first drink. Like you, I could not quit after the first drink. Good luck to you and if I can help in any way please let me know. As this is part of the 12th step. Please go to an AA meeting, find a sponser and work the steps. You will be surprised in no time. It just keeps getting better.

Or if you would prefer a less religious approach to abstinence, you can try Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery.

Where do they meet in Thailand?

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As a recovering Alcholic myself, I am glad to hear you took the first step, there is 12 steps to this program and its one step at a time. After 28 years of being sober I have to remind myself often that I am only one drink away for being drunk. That and with the help of my higher power, I will be sober the rest of my life. Its all about the first drink. Like you, I could not quit after the first drink. Good luck to you and if I can help in any way please let me know. As this is part of the 12th step. Please go to an AA meeting, find a sponser and work the steps. You will be surprised in no time. It just keeps getting better.

Or if you would prefer a less religious approach to abstinence, you can try Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery.

Where do they meet in Thailand?

No in person meetings required! There are online forums and daily online meetings as well.

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Congratulations! Firstly, you recognize that you have a problem. AS you know, it will not get better if you continue on this path. Yes, AA is a spiritual program. But, you choose a God of "your understanding" - it can be the group, a dollar bill - up to you. There are contacts in AA - see websites. Have a chat & make up your own mind. You have an opportunity at a new life, new friends. Becoming a member of AA does not make you a wowser! AA is not perfect - just like the rest of the world. I have no qualifications regarding any other avenues to attain sobriety - they may well work! Many follow the AA philosophy anyway. There are some crackpots in AA - we just do our best! I do know that the AA literature suggests that many of us try the easier, softer way - it does not work, There are no fees - contributions are voluntary. See the websites for a detailed description. Going it alone would be a huge challenge! Whichever route you choose, I wish you the best!

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