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Forethat

Parenting Styles

Parenting Styles   

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Forethat,

As this is your thread, if you want to publicly deny me the right to express my opinion by having the right to vote!

When I place in my choices as stated on Post #11, your system stated I had already voted, Which I have not.

I have waited politely and patiently since 8:38 PM it is now 12:00 midnight and you have failed to respond.

If you deny me the right to vote admit it, that will be my answer that this "POLL" is nothing but your attempt to save face and is intended to be a biased Poll.

By denying me the right to express my opinion in Your poll, you admit your poll was not intended to be fair as the outcome has all ready been predetermined!

Just admit it, or allow me the right to vote!

Cheers:w00t.gif

Edited by kikoman

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I have done all the mistakes possible to do. Stepfather of two.turn out great. Now both grown up ( 20 and 27) doing fine.3grandkids. Everyone in a happy family now.

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Let me point something out .Polls can't be rigged or not allow certain people not to vote.

If you have voted & you changed your mind, you can't simply delete the vote & start again.

So can we stop with the accusations please.

I never voted, I came on to the thread looked at the poll, and decided not to vote, posted that and signed off.

I change my mind about not voting, and decided to vote (at no time did I vote prior to this attempt) after I voted for point 1 and 2, did not understand point 3 and did not vote on that issue, I attempted to vote my choices and the Message came up "Oops you already voted" which I clearly did not do.

I informed the OP of that on my post #8, at 8:38 PM the post received no response I posted post #11, I followed up with my last post at 12:10 midnight, 3 1/2 hours later and still no response.

All I asked for is how I could get my right to vote, the OP needed to simply respond to that request. The information you stated would have been informative enough to allow me to vote on my opinion and there would have been no need for any accusations, As I have not voted I do not know how to be able to delete a vote I never voted. if possible please inform me how!

Thank you!

Edited by kikoman

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Read all the posts.What I can see is this poll is right and there are only some others who think they are right from previous thread. My opinion only

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I do think that you should have spent more time with the questions. It seems to troll off the other topic instead of trying to actually evaluate parenting styles.

I love how Beach always writes "IMHO"

There is nothing humble about you. You come across as a self righteous know it all.

So please change IMAO (arrogant opinion)

As to the specific questions that are asked, the questions don't deal with the real issues.

Question 1, the actual issue is about forcing consequences for choices. The specific example is the extreme that Beach posted in the other thread. I too think that he didn't handle that well and quite surprised his wife didn't divorce him, however the fundamental basis of his stance are/were well founded.

The other issue is pro-acting. THe problem was bad habits were allowed to exist, and that she have been handled before the child was staying out until 2AM.

Having firm boundaries, strict consequences but in a safe and nurturing environment are essential. The problem with the spare the rod brigade is that they fail to realize that authoritarian parents that rule too strictly without the dialogue of why and just rush into punishment and force consequenes is that inteferes with social development. They are less likely to explore the world of social relationships freely.

2. Every parent makes mistakes. Just like Teaching there are theories but no Laws in parenting. As every child is different they all need to be handled in a case by case situation. There are many parents that think that they way that they were raised was good enough and follow in their parents footsteps. They also tend to not see how bad they are messing up. Most likely our children succeed in spite of us not because of us.

Being firm is acceptable but forcing children to deal with consequences that are extreme do no service.

3. Risk is always possible. It is a delicate balance to protect but not to shelter. We all should want independant, thoughtful children who desire to explore the world around them and develop positive relationships. But how can they do it, if you your only skill is shouting and punishing your children?

I am very grateful that TV posters were not my parents.

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I do think that you should have spent more time with the questions. It seems to troll off the other topic instead of trying to actually evaluate parenting styles.

I love how Beach always writes "IMHO"

There is nothing humble about you. You come across as a self righteous know it all.

So please change IMAO (arrogant opinion)

As to the specific questions that are asked, the questions don't deal with the real issues.

Question 1, the actual issue is about forcing consequences for choices. The specific example is the extreme that Beach posted in the other thread. I too think that he didn't handle that well and quite surprised his wife didn't divorce him, however the fundamental basis of his stance are/were well founded.

The other issue is pro-acting. THe problem was bad habits were allowed to exist, and that she have been handled before the child was staying out until 2AM.

Having firm boundaries, strict consequences but in a safe and nurturing environment are essential. The problem with the spare the rod brigade is that they fail to realize that authoritarian parents that rule too strictly without the dialogue of why and just rush into punishment and force consequenes is that inteferes with social development. They are less likely to explore the world of social relationships freely.

2. Every parent makes mistakes. Just like Teaching there are theories but no Laws in parenting. As every child is different they all need to be handled in a case by case situation. There are many parents that think that they way that they were raised was good enough and follow in their parents footsteps. They also tend to not see how bad they are messing up. Most likely our children succeed in spite of us not because of us.

Being firm is acceptable but forcing children to deal with consequences that are extreme do no service.

3. Risk is always possible. It is a delicate balance to protect but not to shelter. We all should want independant, thoughtful children who desire to explore the world around them and develop positive relationships. But how can they do it, if you your only skill is shouting and punishing your children?

I am very grateful that TV posters were not my parents.

IMAO....Well thought out post...

Not sure how you come to the conclusion that I am arrogant....but that's your opinion ....and as such your entitled to it....Maybe we should take a Poll?

Cheerssmile.png....

Edited by beachproperty

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The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

Then the opinions might possibly have some impact.

I voted the same way as kikoman just to see if the vote was counted. I guess it was.

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The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

I posted a comprehensive reply to Beachproperty and kikoman in one of the other threads where they hinted that only people in this exact situation should be considered knowledgable; all other opinions were useless because the posters didn't know what they were talking about.

I believe modern epistemology is quite clear on whether experience is required or not. John Locke would have agreed with you, but he passed away 1704 as one of the first (and last) proponents of your view above. But you're of course allowed to an opinion; it's as good as mine, or Locke's.

In a modern world isn't it rather shocking to notice how individuals treat there peers, when a couple of searches on the internet could have enlightened them.

In that post I mentioned I included links to authors, research and definitions and provided proper citation.

The post was removed for being "irrelevant", so I'll learn from my mistake and stop making irrelevant posts where some useful information is actually generated and shared with others.

HOWEVER, and here i'm dead serious:

This thread could be the best example I've ever seen that Kant's theories are spot on; He was proponent of a view that people be given the freedom to use their own intellect in order to acquire the experience required, and then enlighten themselves. He could be right.

Perhaps it is time to abolish TV-paternalism (when TV-posters tell others how and what to do)...

Edited by Forethat

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The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

Then the opinions might possibly have some impact.

I voted the same way as kikoman just to see if the vote was counted. I guess it was.

so what was your real vote .some people might not have children but they might have nieces or nephews and they would have some idea how to raise children dont you think or be babysitters.as many people hire babysitters to look after their children who dont have children themselves

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... (He) was proponent of a view that people be given the freedom to use their own intellect in order to acquire the experience required, and then enlighten themselves. He could be right.

Perhaps it is time to abolish TV-paternalism (when TV-posters tell others how and what to do)...

Some wise words there young man ... thumbsup.gif

.

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The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

Then the opinions might possibly have some impact.

I voted the same way as kikoman just to see if the vote was counted. I guess it was.

so what was your real vote .some people might not have children but they might have nieces or nephews and they would have some idea how to raise children dont you think or be babysitters.as many people hire babysitters to look after their children who dont have children themselves

Some people believe what they learn from a psychology book is much more important that what the real world teaches someone. I don't happen to believe that theory out performs experience.

I helped raise two when I was in the US, another child as a single parent from her age of 6...she is now 21. I am now helping my current wife with raising a 15 year old boy.

My two in the US are doing fine. The son has a family and owns a very profitable business in the South and my daughter is married to a recently retired US MIlitary officer with three grown girls, all attending college.

The daughter I raised alone is living in the home in Pattaya I bought for her and is working full time for a real estate development company and attending classes to further her education.

The 15 year old just had the procedure of "grounding" explained to him last night after a little stunt he pulled.

Since this thread is based on the thread about locking a daughter out of the house, I would suggest, since nobody on this forum knows beachparty, his daughter or her mother, anything we might advise would be purely speculative and, frankly speaking, not worth a warm bucket of spit.

Hence, my opinion about how beachparty handled this particular and uniquely individual situation doesn't matter...nor does the opinion of anybody else that wasn't personally involved in it.

Beachparty's method worked in this particular situation. End of story.

PS: Forethat, I presume you are saying, by the way you responded to my earlier post, that everything you know was learned from a book and you never raised or helped raise any children. Tell us otherwise and I will happily admit my presumption is a mistake.

Cheers.

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