My first Isaan visit.

[ryro88 165]

Hey guys I'm not sure if you remember my post about my first issan vist to visit my girlfriends family and how nervous I was and the board members posting how I would be Perceived as a waking atm etc etc. Well to cut a long story short I had a great time we spent 4 days in issan. Her home is in a little place call nam yeun and is very basic but it received a very warm welcome. We spent most of the time travelling around in the car as my girlfriend and her family wanted to show me as much of isaan as they could in the short time I was there they really couldn't do enough for me, we visited a few waterfalls and they insisted on taking me to pha taem national park it was quiet a drive but they insisted. These people where the friendliest people I have ever met in my entire life they didn't have much infact they had very little and not once did the ever ask me for money like lots of board members on here said would happen. On the last day I gave them 5,000B out of generosity and good will for the welcoming and love they showed towards me. I will go back and visit. Well that's how my first Isaan visit went folks. And I enjoyed every minute.

[Travel2003 873]

Nice story.

Be prepared, some members will soon claim all the hospitality was part of an act to make you give money in the end.

After all, it is the only country in the world where it is a national policy to scam visitors.

Seriously pal, nice story.

[mgjackson69 601]

The OP is on the right track...one can be generous without becoming an ATM.

If the relationship continues, rest assured that some family member will ask to "borrow" some money. It is on you to evaluate such requests and say 'yea' or 'nay'. A refusal will likely result in a bunch of talking and you being asked again...just stand your ground and set the precedent.

[ryro88 165]

Many times I offered to pay for meals when we where out and my girlfriend or her mother wouldn't let me pay. Obviously I paid for a few melas. but my point being that I did not fell like am ATM to there's people. Actually quiet the opposite. I was treated like a guest just like in the western world if not better.

[swissie 4,961]

I didn't expect that they would throw rotten eggs at you on the first visit. Not to worry, you will soon be erecting a nice house on "family-land" for the clan and be willing to live in Nakhon nowhere for the rest of your live.

Once accomplished, you will find out if the "hospitality" is a lasting factor. If yes, you may have hit the jackpot. If not, you are in good company. "V" does rarely stand for "Victory" for Farangs in Thailand, more so for "Victim".

Cheers.

[Khunmanoun 37]

Hello, a lot of members do not know Thailand at all and can hardly speak two words of Thai. Having stayed years in Pattaya does not give one the right to have a authorized opinion on everything Thai -)

Ryro88, imho you made a big mistake. The amount of money you gave to them was the equivalent of one month salary for someone in the country. The simple fact that they took the money is an indication of Thai people bad mentality versus money. They should have refused the money, simply put. It was OK to give them some money, for example pay for the car benzine. And give a small gift on departure. But 5000 baths, certainly not.

The message you have given to them is that you are in fact a walking ATM. Mgjackson69 is perfectly right. Next step is most probably to try to get more and more from you. Not that they are bad people. But because they are Thai and because of the strange relation between Thai and money. Do not show your money, refuse loans, put clear barriers, this is my advice (I am happily married for 17 years with an isaan girl).

[Khunmanoun 37]

Concerning the warm welcome you have received, I got the same treatment 17 years ago, and I am still very warmly received in the village. They are certainly sincere. But please separate money from that. You do not need to PAY for that, it is free. Certainly, if something happens to a family member, not helping at all would get you a bad reputation, but this is perfecly understandable. Do not build any house, deal with big amounts of money before a couple of years. Take your time !

[ajarnmarc 693]

What people are posting is the norm,

and that's why their posting these warning.

I can tell you what they've stated happened to me on more than one occasion,

with more than one family; as I've had several Issan ladies,

so it certainly is true in most cases, though I'm sure there are exceptions,

but they are very rare.

This is because most women luv to share their fortune stories with other in Issan families,

and they compare everything.

My visits there were good, and I had a great time, but I was still empty upon my return from there.

Once they cleaned me out so good, I barley had enough to get back to Bkk,

and they knew this, but didn't care...

That was my problem,

and they told me as much.

The family reply was just call home and have them send you some more money.

With a great smile upon their lovely face.

Bless their hearts...

NOT!

The women of Issan are great,

don't get me wrong,

but the family is another story,

and their expectations are out of this World.

The pressures they put on their daughters is crazy in itself.

They don't care to educate their children,

they just expect them to go to the city and get a farang boyfriend,

or even better husband and have them make their life better.

Easy enough.

I ended up with a lady from Chiang Mai,

and her Mom still works,

and so does my wife.

That's not something you're likely to see from the families in Issan,

most don't work after 40,

and their daughters usually don't either after they've landed you between their sweet spot.

Enjoy your wild ride while it's good, and it usually is... for awhile.

In some cases longer, if...

you set things up wright in the beginning,

and stick to it.

Which is the key of success,

as people have mentioned here already.

I didn't set it up clear enough,

but I tried,

and in the end I had to end my relationship of four years with a lady from Issan.

It was just to much for me to bare any more.

It took her six years to replace me after our breakup,

and now she's stuck in Finland bored out of her mind.

But at least her family got the golden egg they were after,

only problem was it was just once,

and then their daughter was out of the country,

not likely to return any time soon.

While I'm still living her after 13 years,

and have never left, other than a visa run.

Edited November 25, 2013 by ajarnmarc

[ryro88 165]

I can understand the point that you are all making but when I look back on my time in Isaan the girlfriend and her family spent quite a bit of money on me too so I thought it appropriate to pay back the favour and It made me happy to do so.

[Maggusoil 1,150]

Hello, a lot of members do not know Thailand at all and can hardly speak two words of Thai. Having stayed years in Pattaya does not give one the right to have a authorized opinion on everything Thai -)

Ryro88, imho you made a big mistake. The amount of money you gave to them was the equivalent of one month salary for someone in the country. The simple fact that they took the money is an indication of Thai people bad mentality versus money. They should have refused the money, simply put. It was OK to give them some money, for example pay for the car benzine. And give a small gift on departure. But 5000 baths, certainly not.

The message you have given to them is that you are in fact a walking ATM. Mgjackson69 is perfectly right. Next step is most probably to try to get more and more from you. Not that they are bad people. But because they are Thai and because of the strange relation between Thai and money. Do not show your money, refuse loans, put clear barriers, this is my advice (I am happily married for 17 years with an isaan girl).

Right so that makes you a Dr of Thai Sociology right?

That only goes to prove like most academics, you are only aware of your tiny sector of reality.

What utter small minded rubbish.

Thais and their strange relationship with money?

Perhaps you would feel more comfortable on Wall Street? Or even in Nigeria?

[mrdome 401]

I would agree with Khunmanoun here. I would not have given a blanket cash donation like this and established myself as the "cash dispensing buffalo". Down the road if I felt they had a strong need for a certain item, I would have seen that it would get provided (without making a big deal out of it). It all depends on the relationship, of course but I reject blanket giving just because we have met.

[elwood 304]

Nice story.

Be prepared, some members will soon claim all the hospitality was part of an act to make you give money in the end.

After all, it is the only country in the world where it is a national policy to scam visitors.

Seriously pal, nice story.

And sure enough, your prediction comes true; who else but Swissie, with his inevitable Isaan-bashing twaddle.

[Khunmanoun 37]

@ajarnmarc - Isaan is big, and I have seen many problems with farangs but also a great number of beautiful stories. I would be careful to make a generality. Except for Udon Thani girls, who have a very bad reputation, certainly because of the US base.

[Khunmanoun 37]

Hello, a lot of members do not know Thailand at all and can hardly speak two words of Thai. Having stayed years in Pattaya does not give one the right to have a authorized opinion on everything Thai -)

Ryro88, imho you made a big mistake. The amount of money you gave to them was the equivalent of one month salary for someone in the country. The simple fact that they took the money is an indication of Thai people bad mentality versus money. They should have refused the money, simply put. It was OK to give them some money, for example pay for the car benzine. And give a small gift on departure. But 5000 baths, certainly not.

The message you have given to them is that you are in fact a walking ATM. Mgjackson69 is perfectly right. Next step is most probably to try to get more and more from you. Not that they are bad people. But because they are Thai and because of the strange relation between Thai and money. Do not show your money, refuse loans, put clear barriers, this is my advice (I am happily married for 17 years with an isaan girl).

Right so that makes you a Dr of Thai Sociology right?

That only goes to prove like most academics, you are only aware of your tiny sector of reality.

What utter small minded rubbish.

Thais and their strange relationship with money?

Perhaps you would feel more comfortable on Wall Street? Or even in Nigeria?

Well, I think I know Thailand quite well, my friend, and I speak the langage, which is a great help to talk and understand the people. Yes, Thai people have a relation with money which is very strange for most foreigners from the western world. Most of them (in the 2 square meters of area I know) have no idea about sparing money. They make money, they spend it the same day. They all borrow more than they can. How many plots of land in my village have been taken by the bank ! They see a farang around, they try to get some money because they are always broke and they have a lot of ideas to make good and funny usage of the said money ...

This beeing said, I love Thailand !

[mrdome 401]

I can understand the point that you are all making but when I look back on my time in Isaan the girlfriend and her family spent quite a bit of money on me too so I thought it appropriate to pay back the favour and It made me happy to do so.

Some posters here are so anti and so extreme that they distort the picture. This worked like reverse psychology on you and you thought "Oh, not at all like they said".

But you are just at the beginning, can't really judge the journey until you have arrived - and may you have good long trip

The warning voices came & come from people who want to look out for you, do take that into consideration.