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ryro88

My first Isaan visit.

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Everyone's story is different....I suspect the worst are probably fabricated.

In my case, I did not build a house...my wife already had secured financing and bought a house before we ever met. She had it well over half paid off when we married; I paid off the balance.

I have told at least three family members "no" when asked to "loan" money. The only person I have helped is Maae, when the stupid younger sister gave a finance company the chanote to 8 rai for land to secure a 40,000 baht loan. I paid the loan with the condition that the chanote be transferred to my wife's name, and had papers drawn up to the effect that Maae and Paaw can live there free as long as necessary.

My wife has passed the word that I will not 'loan' money. She also knows that I am not going to let anyone (family) go hungry or have to sleep in the road. On more than one occasion she has also told me not to loan/give money if asked.

I also do not buy whisky when the sloppy drunk nephew asks for it.

Same here, sort of, rarely money... if they need stuff, and I think it's necessary, we go buy it together. Last year, irrigation stuff, next year maybe a rice harvester. We always buy a Kilo or so of chicken for them when we go to Macro.

Anybody can walk in here any time and eat, they know that, the family even lent me money when my credit card got eaten, I don't usually eat rats and frogs but we can always go over and partake. They asked for and got, a duck from us last week, things seem so simple and civilised in this family group (10 people at present, it varies) that I am so lucky to be at the head of. (I think).

The aforementioned "stupid sister" incident is the only time Maae asked me for help with anything, in 9+ years that we have been associated...and that was a desperate situation; the finance company was about ready to pounce on 8 rai of choice land. That guy was not too happy when I showed up and paid off the loan.

Usually my wife and I will put in a couple thousand baht when Maae plants or harvests rice, to pay the workers. I have lost track of how many bags of rice Maae has sent home with us over the years.

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We call it "CHIANG MAI EFFECT" ! The first time you go you feel cool then you cry all the next times you will have to go again in the future as everything suxx there...

They didn't ask any money but you wanted to convince them that you are the perfect buffalo by giving them 5000 thb ? Well done ! But don't wonder why they will ask more in the future <3

Enjoy your happy time, it is not going to last long...

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Nice story.

smile.png

Be prepared, some members will soon claim all the hospitality was part of an act to make you give money in the end.

After all, it is the only country in the world where it is a national policy to scam visitors.

wink.png

Seriously pal, nice story.

smile.png

I agree with you for the nice story.... I am glad for the OP experience.

Maybe it is true that all that kindness was meant to get money in the end...so what?

They showed him their love and welcoming feelings in every way possible and he enjoyed it very much.

Was it sincere? was is not? That's not the point in my opinion.

The point is that in the end everybody was happy without hurting others feelings.

OP showed his gratitude with some little money that obviously was appreciated.

I see nothing wrong in it...

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Like any country, province or town, the success of the relationship will boil down to the type of woman you are with and the type of man you are. The majority of the bad stories I hear are from guys marrying girls who set out desperately seeking a "farang" for financial security. My wife is originally from Isaan. We have a wonderful marriage. She is adored by my family and my friends, loved by everyone she meets and truly is a genuine, honest and beautiful person. I am a very lucky man. Her family never ask me for a bean.

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I just can't see where you are coming from here the family spent quite a few thousand baht on myself. Petrol.national park fees.food.beer the list goes on 5000 was a good will gesture on my part which my girlfriend refused twice before I slipped it in the window of the car when we left to head Into the airport.

Mate, you did the right thing. If I stayed at a friends house (as I do when I go home) for a week or two at a time, I would not feel comfortable unless I bought them a gift of some substantial value, or took them out for at least several high cost meals. They save me $1,000 a week in accommodation and car costs - if I spend $400 on them I'm still winning. Arguably the cost to them is negligible, but that is definitely a moot point.

So why should it be any different here. The difference is, what do you buy a poor family from Isaan to show your gratitude? A nice artwork to hang on the wall, tickets to the latest show and a night on the town in BKK, a gift voucher at Central Festival? Yeah right, they could really use all of those couldn't they.

Giving cash was the best solution - they refused as they are bound to do, you insisted as you were socially obliged to do....regardless of what country you're in. They showed you tremendous hospitality and you repaid them in the most practical sense - a cash gift. The amount was IMHO appropriate. 5k is not loose change for a Falang, and it's not a huge fortune for a Thai farmer.

As to the future etc.....well it hasn't happened yet. You'll have to wait and see what it brings and how you handle each and every situation. Try your best to make sure the outcome/s are what you want and are happy with. No doubt you will be tested, as you would be tested in any relationship with in-laws in your own country.

Arm yourself with as much information as you can (good and bad opinions should all be welcomed), put them through the grinder and form your own conclusions. As different things happen, refine your thinking and reform your opinion, ad infinitum. It ain't all good, and it ain't all bad either. Learn from your mistakes, don't make the same mistake twice, remain in control.

$1000 dollars a week in Esaan ? Are you kidding ? This is 32,000 Baths, please explain how you can spend that in rural Thailand in a week. You can stay more than two months in an hotel in Khorat for that money.

Oh Brother!!! facepalm.gif

Read the post again. But put your thinking cap on first.

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More details op, food, first isaan &lt;deleted&gt;, atmosphere etc

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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Someone posts a nice story, and you guys (you know who you are) just cant help posting negative and juvenile reactions to his story.

What is next, shitting on someone's wedding, or joy of a newborn baby?

On a web site where there are literally 1000s of negative loaded threads already, where we all can be as sarcastic as we want to.

Come on guys, for once have some decency.

I am touched, really by the level of emotion several posters have used in their reply's.

True, true, again Travel2003.wai.gif

In Isaan, I am comfortably sitting in my chair, watching the main street, just watching... the Thais come and go. Watching.. the Farang go and not return.

Only the few have the heart and deceny to stay: The strong ones.

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LOVELY STORY, AND ENCOURAGING TO MEET YOUR THAI LOVE(OF OR FOR LIFE) IN ISAAN.

1 QUESTION.

IF VISITING A WOMEN'S VILLAGE IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY WOULD YOU GIVE THE ( IN-LAW TO BE???) FAMILY MONEY FOR THEIR HOSPITALITY?

2. REMARK.

CAPITAL RULE (according to me!!)

DON;T ACT HERE IN A WAY YOU WOULDN'T DREAM OF ACTING IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY.

Keeps me happy (with spouse and family) and safe for more then 20 years around here!

Capital rule or not?

Up to you all.

Edited by hgma

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So glad you had a happy time, similar to my first visit. Now have been living there for over 3 yrs now in our own house. The money thing comes later. I live in a village just out of Khon Kaen.

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Khounmanoun, I would get off the bus right here, before you have no feet to leave on . . .

Ha ha ha because some people married to Udon girls don't like to know about Udon girls reputation, you think I should turn my back and leave ? But ... this is not my opinion, it is the opinion I heard from many Thai people ... Taboo ?

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Being viewed by some people as a walking ATM is not limited to Thailand, be it Issan, Bangkok, Chang mai or where ever. You will find examples of this in any country in the world. I spent 3 years working in Brazil. I speak decent Portuguese, and truly like the people. My first girlfriend there had a good job at a bank which I dealt with. We had only been seeing each other for a couple of months before the gentle hints for money to buy something for the family or to help a sick family member started. I didn't think anything about it at first, but as time went on, I began to wake up. When I declined one time (with a sad smile and an apology) she threw a tantrum, and I threw her out. I even changed the bank my company was dealing with to avoid her. She stalked me for a couple of months before finally moving on. There a certain individuals with this mindset, be they Thai, Brazilian, American or any other country. It has been said before, set limits up front. I am happily married to a Thai woman from Bangkok. During the 4 years prior to our marriage, she never asked me for a cent. During that time, her grandfather, who raised her, died, as did her mother. I offered to send money for the funerals, and she thanked me, but said that she had money in savings to pay for the costs. Not one other member of the family offered to help her with the cost. It seems to me that her grandparents, poor as church mice, raised her to be self-sufficient. You've got to respect them for that.

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@ Ryro88 - You stayed 4 days in Isaan, where everything is dirt cheap and you really believe village people spent close to 5000 on you ? Well, I have doubts.

A good meal cost 50 baths, how much is benzine now ? A night in an hotel cost 400-500 baths.

I see you know as much about Isaan as I do about Outer Mongolia. For a start everything is not "dirt cheap". Last weekend 4 of us went for meal and it cost 1200 baht and that wasn't being extravagant. Included 1 beer 2 bottles of water and a Sprite. Petrol is 39 baht a litre and yes you can get a night in a hotel for 500 baht but that's not the average by any means.

As I've lived in Isaan for over 7 years I'm qualified to comment.

Your other posts seem to be just as well informed!

Well, I am married to a Khorat girl for 17 years and I think I know Esaan quite well, but if you say yours is longer than mine you must be right ;-)

1- Hotel. I totally disagree. Last time we made a long trip from Khorat to Vientiane, visiting Nong Khai, Khon Kaen etc and we paid 450-550 Baths, maybe 600 Baths once, for nice rooms with air con all the way. Even if I had wanted I am not sure I would have found more expensive rooms.

2- Food. I totally disagree. In every big shopping mall in Thailand you have a food court and you eat very well for 30-50 Baths including drinks. Even in Bangkok I eat for that price, for example 7th floor of Platinum. OK, if you want the fresh mango with sticky rice you have to fork another 60-100 Baths.

You say you are qualified to comment, fine, congratulations for self-appointing yourself, but are you hopping from Pizza Hut to Mac Donald or are you eating like normal Thai people ? This is the point ! You can spend huge sums of money in Thailand if you want. You can easily pay 8000 a night in Samui (two times the monthly salary of the maid in one night). You can go to a very expensive resort in Krabi ...

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Being viewed by some people as a walking ATM is not limited to Thailand, be it Issan, Bangkok, Chang mai or where ever. You will find examples of this in any country in the world. I spent 3 years working in Brazil. I speak decent Portuguese, and truly like the people. My first girlfriend there had a good job at a bank which I dealt with. We had only been seeing each other for a couple of months before the gentle hints for money to buy something for the family or to help a sick family member started. I didn't think anything about it at first, but as time went on, I began to wake up. When I declined one time (with a sad smile and an apology) she threw a tantrum, and I threw her out. I even changed the bank my company was dealing with to avoid her. She stalked me for a couple of months before finally moving on. There a certain individuals with this mindset, be they Thai, Brazilian, American or any other country. It has been said before, set limits up front. I am happily married to a Thai woman from Bangkok. During the 4 years prior to our marriage, she never asked me for a cent. During that time, her grandfather, who raised her, died, as did her mother. I offered to send money for the funerals, and she thanked me, but said that she had money in savings to pay for the costs. Not one other member of the family offered to help her with the cost. It seems to me that her grandparents, poor as church mice, raised her to be self-sufficient. You've got to respect them for that.

Sure, but in Asia, I know a bit of Japan, Korea, China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, and Thailand is really a special place. The way the average Thai people deal with money is totally different from the way the average chinese people do, for example. The behaviour is quite different too.

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Khounmanoun, I would get off the bus right here, before you have no feet to leave on . . .

Ha ha ha because some people married to Udon girls don't like to know about Udon girls reputation, you think I should turn my back and leave ? But ... this is not my opinion, it is the opinion I heard from many Thai people ... Taboo ?

I've heard from many Thai people that you'll lose an important body part that enables(d) you producing a child when continuing talking about their campfire stories on real Whiskey, free cigarettes, peanut butter in a nutshell, etc.. about the good old times with the weird GI's...

The bad bad girls back in 1960 something.. The offspring must have those genes inside them, at least the females..Or did the gf work for them?-coffee1.gif

Edited by lostinisaan

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