My first Isaan visit.

[meatboy 4,155]

I can understand the point that you are all making but when I look back on my time in Isaan the girlfriend and her family spent quite a bit of money on me too so I thought it appropriate to pay back the favour and It made me happy to do so.

surely youve heard the saying TO DANGLE THE CARROT IN FRONT OF THE HORSE i have been married 23yrs and lived together for 2yrs at first,but,better still a big but,three yrs before i met my wife there had been plenty of carrots dangled in front of me and by what you have said i too took the bait,and me being a fisherman i took it hook,line but not the sinker,so when the line starts to get tight let it go before you get pulled in the deep end.if you do manage to stay afloat and cast aside any bait snatchers it can be a wonderfull life here.

good luck and remember the signs throw those greedy one's back in.

t.i.t. taffy in thailand

[possum1931 12,682]

Nice story.

Be prepared, some members will soon claim all the hospitality was part of an act to make you give money in the end.

After all, it is the only country in the world where it is a national policy to scam visitors.

Seriously pal, nice story.

Good post, except for one thing, although Thailand has it's share of scammers, a very small minority, it is nowhere near the only country in the world who will scam visitors.

[possum1931 12,682]

The OP is on the right track...one can be generous without becoming an ATM.

If the relationship continues, rest assured that some family member will ask to "borrow" some money. It is on you to evaluate such requests and say 'yea' or 'nay'. A refusal will likely result in a bunch of talking and you being asked again...just stand your ground and set the precedent.

I have been here for about eight years, my wife has four brothers and one sister, there are her parents and aunt who live nearby, and I can honestly say that never once has any of them ever even hinted that they wanted to borrow any money from me. I have never even had a fall out with any of them.

[nearlynormal 1]

same all over the world ...buyer beware

[thehelmsman 1,446]

I can understand the point that you are all making but when I look back on my time in Isaan the girlfriend and her family spent quite a bit of money on me too so I thought it appropriate to pay back the favour and It made me happy to do so.

Sounds like you had a good time. Don't overthink all this. I'm not advocating throwing money around but it sounds like no harm done showing you're not a complete miser. Go your own way and don't get lost in TV advice.

[jpmerlin 2]

Concerning the warm welcome you have received, I got the same treatment 17 years ago, and I am still very warmly received in the village. They are certainly sincere. But please separate money from that. You do not need to PAY for that, it is free. Certainly, if something happens to a family member, not helping at all would get you a bad reputation, but this is perfecly understandable. Do not build any house, deal with big amounts of money before a couple of years. Take your time !

really!!!

[Bazt 73]

@ Ryro88 - You stayed 4 days in Isaan, where everything is dirt cheap and you really believe village people spent close to 5000 on you ? Well, I have doubts.

A good meal cost 50 baths, how much is benzine now ? A night in an hotel cost 400-500 baths.

I see you know as much about Isaan as I do about Outer Mongolia. For a start everything is not "dirt cheap". Last weekend 4 of us went for meal and it cost 1200 baht and that wasn't being extravagant. Included 1 beer 2 bottles of water and a Sprite. Petrol is 39 baht a litre and yes you can get a night in a hotel for 500 baht but that's not the average by any means.

As I've lived in Isaan for over 7 years I'm qualified to comment.

Your other posts seem to be just as well informed!

Well, I am married to a Khorat girl for 17 years and I think I know Esaan quite well, but if you say yours is longer than mine you must be right ;-)

1- Hotel. I totally disagree. Last time we made a long trip from Khorat to Vientiane, visiting Nong Khai, Khon Kaen etc and we paid 450-550 Baths, maybe 600 Baths once, for nice rooms with air con all the way. Even if I had wanted I am not sure I would have found more expensive rooms.

2- Food. I totally disagree. In every big shopping mall in Thailand you have a food court and you eat very well for 30-50 Baths including drinks. Even in Bangkok I eat for that price, for example 7th floor of Platinum. OK, if you want the fresh mango with sticky rice you have to fork another 60-100 Baths.

You say you are qualified to comment, fine, congratulations for self-appointing yourself, but are you hopping from Pizza Hut to Mac Donald or are you eating like normal Thai people ? This is the point ! You can spend huge sums of money in Thailand if you want. You can easily pay 8000 a night in Samui (two times the monthly salary of the maid in one night). You can go to a very expensive resort in Krabi ...

I'm confused, what is the currency of Thailand , bath or baht ?

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Edited November 26, 2013 by Bazt

[rct99q 795]

Glad you had a good time in Isaan. My wife always gets a kick out of some of the posters on this forum. In any advice there is a grain of truth so it is up to you to filter out all the other stuff. Those that have been scammed, those that have long loving relationships, and those that are themselves trying to scam people.

On the terms of the gift you provided. It was a warm gesture on your part but be careful. Up here in Nong Khai the average wage is about 8,000baht per month. Now there are many making more than that. It is not the "dirt" poor region it once used to be. But 5,000baht is still a lot of money. yes the family spent money on you but do you know their financial status. This is important. My father in law is not a rich man but he will spend more than he earns on things that are important in showing "face".

Hate that term but it is reality. In many cases it is about what they ...show....which usually can mean spending more than they can afford. By you putting up 5,000baht could be seen as a slap in the face of the parents and family. If they wanted to show you a good time and spent their money on you that was up to them. You splashing around 5,000baht was like reminding someone they are poor...

Next time instead of money buy a few gifts like food, or dvd's, cd's comic books for the kids. My first trip to the village a few years ago I asked my wife what should I bring. Standard answer..up to you! (hate this one as well). So I bought 5kg of pork (about 1,000baht) to have a BBQ with. Family loved it.

Good luck.

[NCFC 1,494]

Impossible to generalise because there are good and bad everywhere. All you can do is take your time and don't rush into anything. All will be revealed in time if you play a cautious game.

[kirstymelb101 257]

I just can't see where you are coming from here the family spent quite a few thousand baht on myself. Petrol.national park fees.food.beer the list goes on 5000 was a good will gesture on my part which my girlfriend refused twice before I slipped it in the window of the car when we left to head Into the airport.

It all comes down to your own perception and how you perceive these people. The way you regard your girlfriends family is what matters most. To me you seem like a smart enough guy to make your own judgment. I notice people on TV have a natural tendency to be 'kill joys' when this subject comes to light. IMHO - Unless you are 50yrs old and your Thai girlfriend is 16, you have nothing to worry about.

Edited November 26, 2013 by kirstymelb101

[bergen 306]

rory88

Glad you enjoyed your stay in Nam Yun!

I've been living 13 km west of Nam Yun for almost 10 years, and can confirm that it is indeed possible to meet nice and friendly locals - which is excactly my experiende over the years!

Cheers!

[Bpuumike 528]

The OP is on the right track...one can be generous without becoming an ATM.

If the relationship continues, rest assured that some family member will ask to "borrow" some money. It is on you to evaluate such requests and say 'yea' or 'nay'. A refusal will likely result in a bunch of talking and you being asked again...just stand your ground and set the precedent.

Indeed, set the rules at the start.

Wish I had been given that advice but it's working OK.

[Travel2003 873]

We call it "CHIANG MAI EFFECT" ! The first time you go you feel cool then you cry all the next times you will have to go again in the future as everything suxx there...

They didn't ask any money but you wanted to convince them that you are the perfect buffalo by giving them 5000 thb ? Well done ! But don't wonder why they will ask more in the future <3

Enjoy your happy time, it is not going to last long...

Really?

The Chiang Mai Effect??

Not a make belief word you come up with?

And everything suxx there?

let's ask the other CM members, shall we?

A few days in CM, probably Pattaya and Kho Somewhere, then you stumbled over this web site just a few weeks ago, and voila' you are the expert on the rural areas of this country.

Glad you came along.

Edited November 26, 2013 by Travel2003

[Maggusoil 1,150]

Khounmanoun, I would get off the bus right here, before you have no feet to leave on . . .

Ha ha ha because some people married to Udon girls don't like to know about Udon girls reputation, you think I should turn my back and leave ? But ... this is not my opinion, it is the opinion I heard from many Thai people ... Taboo ?

No. Not that. I am not married to a Thai from any city. I have also spent some time in Udon Thani, its the closest big town to my daughter, about three hours away.

The reference to feet is rhetorical. You may wish to look it up and the reference is, as you need things s p e l l e d out. You put your foot in your mouth so often, you won't be able to walk. Because your feet will be in your mouth and its very difficult to walk like that. In case you don't know what that means, don't worry about it.

Nothing will compensate for your delusion that you are always right, until one day it proves you wrong.

[Tycoon 246]

@ Ryro88 - You stayed 4 days in Isaan, where everything is dirt cheap and you really believe village people spent close to 5000 on you ? Well, I have doubts.

A good meal cost 50 baths, how much is benzine now ? A night in an hotel cost 400-500 baths.

Rant

The word is Baht, not baths. This is the most misspelt word in Thailand.

One more time, Baht not bath.