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My first Isaan visit.


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Your story is the same as everyone's story that have come and gone here in Thailand, the family won't ask you for money (verbally) they will hint hint for you to HELP them with this and with that and then the auntie is sick then the pig then the buffalo she will tell you hospital is very expensive then you offer to pay,, just wait until the honeymoon is over, if your girlfriend is very ugly then you might have a chance otherwise start saving.

So succinctly expressed everything one must know about relationships in Thailand. This post should be made a pamphlet and given to all foreigners traveling into LOS (not that it would save them from becoming a walking ATM 555).

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I just can't see where you are coming from here the family spent quite a few thousand baht on myself. Petrol.national park fees.food.beer the list goes on 5000 was a good will gesture on my part which my girlfriend refused twice before I slipped it in the window of the car when we left to head Into the airport.

Mate, you did the right thing. If I stayed at a friends house (as I do when I go home) for a week or two at a time, I would not feel comfortable unless I bought them a gift of some substantial value, or took them out for at least several high cost meals. They save me $1,000 a week in accommodation and car costs - if I spend $400 on them I'm still winning. Arguably the cost to them is negligible, but that is definitely a moot point.

So why should it be any different here. The difference is, what do you buy a poor family from Isaan to show your gratitude? A nice artwork to hang on the wall, tickets to the latest show and a night on the town in BKK, a gift voucher at Central Festival? Yeah right, they could really use all of those couldn't they.

Giving cash was the best solution - they refused as they are bound to do, you insisted as you were socially obliged to do....regardless of what country you're in. They showed you tremendous hospitality and you repaid them in the most practical sense - a cash gift. The amount was IMHO appropriate. 5k is not loose change for a Falang, and it's not a huge fortune for a Thai farmer.

As to the future etc.....well it hasn't happened yet. You'll have to wait and see what it brings and how you handle each and every situation. Try your best to make sure the outcome/s are what you want and are happy with. No doubt you will be tested, as you would be tested in any relationship with in-laws in your own country.

Arm yourself with as much information as you can (good and bad opinions should all be welcomed), put them through the grinder and form your own conclusions. As different things happen, refine your thinking and reform your opinion, ad infinitum. It ain't all good, and it ain't all bad either. Learn from your mistakes, don't make the same mistake twice, remain in control.

$1000 dollars a week in Esaan ? Are you kidding ? This is 32,000 Baths, please explain how you can spend that in rural Thailand in a week. You can stay more than two months in an hotel in Khorat for that money.

Once again, the currency of Thailand is baht not baths.

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I agree that 500 baths is about right for accom when travelling around Isaan. You would have to pay a lot more if you want a baht in your bahtroom mind biggrin.png

[Well it wasn't me who started this thread down its road to self-destruction!]

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Good news and good story.

I married an Isaan woman 12 years ago and have lived her for a little over 2 years now and have a beautiful5 year old daughter.

Isaan people, family or not can be some of the best people you will ever meet.

Just like anywhere in the world, there will always be some that are not so good or even bad.

Like anywhere else, keep your eyes open and don't be a fool with rose colored glasses.

Take those negative comments about Isaan with a grain of salt.

Most farangs who live here are here with the woman they love and have been loved and accepted by the families and communities.

Most of us love it here!

We are respectful and courtious of the communities that we have chosen to join.

Lucky for us ,Isaan has not been invaded by rude ,self centered farang tourist who feel and act like the good people here were created to cater to and please them.

Most native people have not had bad experiences with farangs and treat us well.

I suspect that most with negative input are not those who live here.

Their knowledge of the people and culture probably comes from a bad experience with a bar girl ( most do come form here ) who has used them and MAYBE brought them here on a brief visit.

Those who need and use bar girls should really stay where they work, in the tourist towns and cities down south.

I'm happy your experience was a good one and hope you continue to have more good experiences here in the north.

Welcome to Issan!

Choke dee!

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@ Ryro88 - You stayed 4 days in Isaan, where everything is dirt cheap and you really believe village people spent close to 5000 on you ? Well, I have doubts.

A good meal cost 50 baths, how much is benzine now ? A night in an hotel cost 400-500 baths.

I see you know as much about Isaan as I do about Outer Mongolia. For a start everything is not "dirt cheap". Last weekend 4 of us went for meal and it cost 1200 baht and that wasn't being extravagant. Included 1 beer 2 bottles of water and a Sprite. Petrol is 39 baht a litre and yes you can get a night in a hotel for 500 baht but that's not the average by any means.

As I've lived in Isaan for over 7 years I'm qualified to comment.

Your other posts seem to be just as well informed!

I concur. I have also lived in Issan for the past 7 years, married, with a son. Issan is not cheap as some people assume, especially in town where we reside. My son is in kindergarten 2. I send him to a private school and have him enrolled in the EP at 20,000b per term. Petrol is the same everywhere. A night out with food and drinks is comparable with most places in Thailand.

With that said i really enjoyed reading most of the posts on this thread, especially all of the stereotypical drivel. 'Watch out or the villagers will rip you dry" evil devils! 555555! My in laws are retired Govt. employees and never have asked for a dime. We have a beautiful son which they dote over and I couldn't ask for a better wife.

I have heard it sooooo many times and yes some situations are legit.. "Farang has the money, so the farang should pay for everything BS" , but when you hear this more as the rule rather than the exception one can't excuse such ignorance. Farangs that get conned are victims of their own lack of common sense and stupidity. IMHO. The end.coffee1.gif

Edited by mizzi39
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I'm glad to see someone else noticed that slander as well

Here's a warning about slandering Issan women,

but it's ok to slander Udon Thani women,

because of a base supposedly near by???

I have no idea if there is one,

and don't care if there was.

I meet women from all provinces in my daily business,

and can certainly see the differences in their personalities.

But I not comment on that,

just shared my experiences in Issan with the ladies that took me there,

and it was always the same experience, just slightly different approach to it.

I had one ladies father come all the way down from Issan to ask if he could borrow 1,000 bht.

I told my girlfriend at the time, it cost him that much to get here.

I knew it was just a start to get me to open my wallet,

and then would come the big question later.

Not during the same visit...I don't think.

But he would certainly be back within a few days.

I gave my G/F some money and had her buy her father a few beers,

and that would relax him, before I later set him on his way.

After dinner of course, but empty handed.

I've had women from Issan ask for a house,

but willing to settle for the wall that normally goes around the house.

Problem was I never saw a wall around a house in Issan,

but it was the ladies idea at the time.

I moved on with a quickness.

They come at all angles and beauties,

for which there are many.

Beautiful - like haiku's clap2.gif

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Just to put the money issue in perspective :

http://thainews.prd.go.th/centerweb/newsen/NewsDetail?NT01_NewsID=WNECO5611270010005

160,000 Bahts average debt per person in Thailand is a lot, especially in the rural areas, where people make, say 60,000 a year.

In the bigger village near my place, most of the businesses make more money lending money at high rates than through their businesses.

This is probably due to the "face" and "day-to-day" and festive mentality.

A long time ago, one Thai king let the Chinese immigrants come in big numbers to deal with the problem. And today, most of the economy is in the hands of sino-thai people.

This also explains why the Thai society is so clearly cut in two parts, the middle class beeing very small.

Coming back to the OP, please be aware of all that but don't become paranoid. If you ignore the wise advices from many posts in the file you will face disappointment, but if you manage the money issues well you will be very happy in Isaan, I am sure.

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Khounmanoun, I would get off the bus right here, before you have no feet to leave on . . .

Ha ha ha because some people married to Udon girls don't like to know about Udon girls reputation, you think I should turn my back and leave ? But ... this is not my opinion, it is the opinion I heard from many Thai people ... Taboo ?

No. Not that. I am not married to a Thai from any city. I have also spent some time in Udon Thani, its the closest big town to my daughter, about three hours away.

The reference to feet is rhetorical. You may wish to look it up and the reference is, as you need things s p e l l e d out. You put your foot in your mouth so often, you won't be able to walk. Because your feet will be in your mouth and its very difficult to walk like that. In case you don't know what that means, don't worry about it.

Nothing will compensate for your delusion that you are always right, until one day it proves you wrong.

And what about unnecessary aggressivity towards forum contributors ? I am just expressing my opinion, or trying to express the general opiniom I have collected from people I have talked to, doing my best to discuss in a polite way, and I do not understand at all your motivation. If someone expresses an opinion you disagree upon, please fight the idea, not the people. Generally, when a forumer goes into flaming another forumer, it is a proof of a lost point.

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Please ensure that you replies don't stray into the trolling/flaming/personal attacks.

In saying that, the existing posts seem ok.

I'm glad to hear that the OP had such a good time visiting Isaan. In my time here (3 years), most of the people I've met who also live here have loved their Isaan experience. A few are being fleeced (although still seem to enjoy their time here regardless), but mostly everyone seems happy.

A lot of the people I've met who only make short trips to Isaan have much more variety in their opinions. Hopefully you'll continue your visits to Isaan and enjoy the relaxed carefree lifestyle here :)

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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What people are posting is the norm,

and that's why their posting these warning.

I can tell you what they've stated happened to me on more than one occasion,

with more than one family; as I've had several Issan ladies,

so it certainly is true in most cases, though I'm sure there are exceptions,

but they are very rare.

This is because most women luv to share their fortune stories with other in Issan families,

and they compare everything.

My visits there were good, and I had a great time, but I was still empty upon my return from there.

Once they cleaned me out so good, I barley had enough to get back to Bkk,

and they knew this, but didn't care...

That was my problem,

and they told me as much.

The family reply was just call home and have them send you some more money.

With a great smile upon their lovely face.

Bless their hearts...

NOT!

The women of Issan are great,

don't get me wrong,

but the family is another story,

and their expectations are out of this World.

The pressures they put on their daughters is crazy in itself.

They don't care to educate their children,

they just expect them to go to the city and get a farang boyfriend,

or even better husband and have them make their life better.

Easy enough.

I ended up with a lady from Chiang Mai,

and her Mom still works,

and so does my wife.

That's not something you're likely to see from the families in Issan,

most don't work after 40,

and their daughters usually don't either after they've landed you between their sweet spot.

Enjoy your wild ride while it's good, and it usually is... for awhile.

In some cases longer, if...

you set things up wright in the beginning,

and stick to it.

Which is the key of success,

as people have mentioned here already.

I didn't set it up clear enough,

but I tried,

and in the end I had to end my relationship of four years with a lady from Issan.

It was just to much for me to bare any more.

It took her six years to replace me after our breakup,

and now she's stuck in Finland bored out of her mind.

But at least her family got the golden egg they were after,

only problem was it was just once,

and then their daughter was out of the country,

not likely to return any time soon.

While I'm still living her after 13 years,

and have never left, other than a visa run.

As usual, I have however not read all posts, there is a huge lot of experts and people that have failed completely with the socializing with the thais and

in particular the isaan-people, I am sad to see sop many of you fail, and I see it in most cases as failure from your own part.... Words like clean up and other words

is sad to see.

Maybee you guys that have experienced this also was unable to handle yourself in the falangcountries, because someting is really wrong with you guys. Me myself I

cant find it even remotly like that in Isaan. If you play your card correct, if you have choosen something else than a "playing tuna" from Pattaya, Than you should be

fine... or if you choose wronglybe out of there within one year at most....

My wife and my family we all have agreed with the money all together, everyting in the open. I take care of my wife 100%, take care 100% of my wifes sisters 2 children

and finally give my molther and father in law each month 2.200 baht.... Thats all. For 6 years now I have NEVER been asked for any money.... But theyhave been given me

dinners and parties at many many times each year.... And these isaan people are just villiager, nothing more....

17 years and still doing VISA-RUNS.. not to hard to clean up there I guess,, What´s wrong with extension of stays???

Glegolo

Edited by glegolo
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Khounmanoun, I would get off the bus right here, before you have no feet to leave on . . .

Ha ha ha because some people married to Udon girls don't like to know about Udon girls reputation, you think I should turn my back and leave ? But ... this is not my opinion, it is the opinion I heard from many Thai people ... Taboo ?

No. Not that. I am not married to a Thai from any city. I have also spent some time in Udon Thani, its the closest big town to my daughter, about three hours away.

The reference to feet is rhetorical. You may wish to look it up and the reference is, as you need things s p e l l e d out. You put your foot in your mouth so often, you won't be able to walk. Because your feet will be in your mouth and its very difficult to walk like that. In case you don't know what that means, don't worry about it.

Nothing will compensate for your delusion that you are always right, until one day it proves you wrong.

And what about unnecessary aggressivity towards forum contributors ? I am just expressing my opinion, or trying to express the general opiniom I have collected from people I have talked to, doing my best to discuss in a polite way, and I do not understand at all your motivation. If someone expresses an opinion you disagree upon, please fight the idea, not the people. Generally, when a forumer goes into flaming another forumer, it is a proof of a lost point.

I objected to your original statement.

But because they are Thai and because of the strange relation between Thai and money.

The way you later explained it, showed that it was at worst ambiguous.

The fact that I objected to it, should or could have alerted you to the ambiguity of it, particularly as, the "so-called' Thai relationship with money is a subject of much comment on TV.

You later cleared up the ambiguity of it, to my utter satisfaction. Thank you, but then you went on to another subject of the disreputableness of Udon Thani women, where you leapt from ambiguity to clear and unadulterated bigotry.

OK. Fine. Your opinion is bigoted. Very common on TV.

I believe I have a right to comment on it. When you reply to my comment by asserting that your bigotry is justified, because you have

consulted others with bigoted opinions and your collective bigotry should not be disputed because they were or are Thai nationals, then I

believe I am entitled to reply to that also and to point out how fallible it is.

Just because you speak the language and have been married to a Thai national for 17 years does not necessarily give you

an entitlement to the 'realm' of indisputable authority on Thai/ Farang relationships or Udon Thani women.

Because I can see your tendency to "imagine" that I have in some way defended Udon Thani women that implies I am having a relationship with an Udon Thani woman, I can re-assure you, I am not.

You have now accused me of 'flaming' you. Is that an attempt to alert moderators to my post?

Let me ask you this. If being a bigot in public is not inflammatory, then what is?

My objection to it?

If you don't like mirrors, don't stand in front of them.

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'On the last day I gave them 5,000B out of generosity and good will for the welcoming and love they showed towards me.'

So you gave them a months income just for smiling at you and being pleasant, now you will be expected to do it every time, foolishness.

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