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My first Isaan visit.


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The OP is on the right track...one can be generous without becoming an ATM.

If the relationship continues, rest assured that some family member will ask to "borrow" some money. It is on you to evaluate such requests and say 'yea' or 'nay'. A refusal will likely result in a bunch of talking and you being asked again...just stand your ground and set the precedent.

I guess your crystal ball is 100% accurate?

Been living with my wife for nearly 5 years, legally married for 3 years. Very large extended family. No one has asked for a handout or a loan. Everyone works. Neither do I pay my wife a "salary".

Maybe you have been reading TV too long?

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We call it "CHIANG MAI EFFECT" ! The first time you go you feel cool then you cry all the next times you will have to go again in the future as everything suxx there...

They didn't ask any money but you wanted to convince them that you are the perfect buffalo by giving them 5000 thb ? Well done ! But don't wonder why they will ask more in the future <3

Enjoy your happy time, it is not going to last long...

Really?

The Chiang Mai Effect??

Not a make belief word you come up with?

And everything suxx there?

let's ask the other CM members, shall we?

biggrin.png

A few days in CM, probably Pattaya and Kho Somewhere, then you stumbled over this web site just a few weeks ago, and voila' you are the expert on the rural areas of this country.

Glad you came along.

5555555555

There really should be a "LMFAO" button next to the "Like" button!

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Lets be honest though apart from a few nice towns like roi et and ubon, issan is one hell of a boring place to live, bit like an open prison, Most falangs who claim to live in issan do not live in villages miles from anywhere they live in places like those mentioned or KK or Udon, not really the same experience. Life in a village where the highlight of the week is insect hunting or fishing (emptying a pond) is not very attractive. There are falangs of course who live in nice houses they have built insulated by sat tv, internet and a bike ride into a town for sanity and maybe eatable food. But this is not the issan of wooden shed houses, nothing to do and being surrounded drunken lazy villagers. issan sucks, that my opinion after 20 years of visiting the place, towns excepted.

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Yeah, I remember this thread from before. I think what you did sounds alright. 5k isn't an insane amount, especially if you are seriously interested in the girl. nice gesture.

Really, I find you can't win either way in the short run. If you spend a bunch, you will be an ATM; if you don't spend anything, you will be "ki niao." So, I don't pay much attention to that junk.

Now just realize that, even though I think your 5k gift was fine, what others are saying is true. You are expected to set limits when it comes to money--NOBODY ELSE WILL DO IT FOR YOU. They will take and take and take. I have seen it between Thais. People are just always on take mode, but in the village it mostly turns out to balance out (although some take more than they give, for sure). Since you are a foreigner, you are definitely seen as having more to give.

Anyway, here is a suggestion: next trip, stop by spend regularly and then NO GIFT at the end, or like 500 for mom and 500 for dad. See how that goes down. Don't make a thing of it, but try it. You will get some idea of how they will adjust.

Honestly, my wife and family will spend whatever you give them. It is an endless, gaping maw of need. My wife even knows it and gives me what she earns and lets me divvy it out to her as needed (I keep it separate from my money).

I figured it out, though, several years ago when my wife was talking to me about finances and said "I know you would never let us run out of money." After some clarification, it turned out that she meant that she trusted me to use the money appropriately--even if it meant saying "no" to her or her family.

This will sound bad, but many Thai ladies are like that. They like to spend their husbands' money, but they also expect the husband to manage the money. You lay down the law. Say no when it is overboard. Say yes when you want to and it is reasonable.

I still give money to my in-law (the parents) and sometimes to brothers and cousins and nephews, but I don't feel bad if I can't (or don't want to) and they recognize that and don't make trouble about it.

Set boundaries.....sorry, rambling over.

I agree with you.This seems to be how I have seen it.

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I just can't see where you are coming from here the family spent quite a few thousand baht on myself. Petrol.national park fees.food.beer the list goes on 5000 was a good will gesture on my part which my girlfriend refused twice before I slipped it in the window of the car when we left to head Into the airport.

It was nice of you to do that and I am sure they appreciated your generosity. Thais have been raised to help out their family when they can. Taking care of their parents is a must when the parents are getting older; It is part of their culture, so you should know that if you want to be with a Thai woman.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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Lets be honest though apart from a few nice towns like roi et and ubon, issan is one hell of a boring place to live, bit like an open prison, Most falangs who claim to live in issan do not live in villages miles from anywhere they live in places like those mentioned or KK or Udon, not really the same experience. Life in a village where the highlight of the week is insect hunting or fishing (emptying a pond) is not very attractive. There are falangs of course who live in nice houses they have built insulated by sat tv, internet and a bike ride into a town for sanity and maybe eatable food. But this is not the issan of wooden shed houses, nothing to do and being surrounded drunken lazy villagers. issan sucks, that my opinion after 20 years of visiting the place, towns excepted.

I don't "claim" to live in Isaan. I LIVE in Isaan. Granted, I'm a relative Isaan newbie, only 5+ years now (17 years full time in Thailand).

And I plead guilty to living in an area that doesn't give me your Isaan " .. experience ..". But that's personal choice. So Isaan doesn't necessarily "suck". Your choice of lifestyle "sucks" -- in your opinion.

For me, at my age, KK is my smartest and most comfortable choice.

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Lets be honest though apart from a few nice towns like roi et and ubon, issan is one hell of a boring place to live, bit like an open prison, Most falangs who claim to live in issan do not live in villages miles from anywhere they live in places like those mentioned or KK or Udon, not really the same experience. Life in a village where the highlight of the week is insect hunting or fishing (emptying a pond) is not very attractive. There are falangs of course who live in nice houses they have built insulated by sat tv, internet and a bike ride into a town for sanity and maybe eatable food. But this is not the issan of wooden shed houses, nothing to do and being surrounded drunken lazy villagers. issan sucks, that my opinion after 20 years of visiting the place, towns excepted.

Define the bit you don't like, criticise it, conclude that the whole thing sucks and imply that everybody agrees with you or that they are deluding themselves ("let's be honest").

Typical - we see that technique used on Thai Visa about Pattaya and Phuket also.

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I don't go to bars but still think Issan is the mostly ghastly area with probably the worst corruption, poor infrastructure, boring landscape and decidedly primitive health care. Oddly there is more Issan music in Bangkok than Issan, if you like it there then good for you.

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I don't go to bars but still think Issan is the mostly ghastly area with probably the worst corruption, poor infrastructure, boring landscape and decidedly primitive health care. Oddly there is more Issan music in Bangkok than Issan, if you like it there then good for you.

I don't disagree with you. I am kind of disappointed that people think of my home these ways. It is not the most desire place for most Falangs but it is a good enough place to live a comfortable life. Wonder what it is going to take to make Falangs desire Issan cities, obviously Issan girls is not enough, lol.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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I don't go to bars but still think Issan is the mostly ghastly area with probably the worst corruption, poor infrastructure, boring landscape and decidedly primitive health care. Oddly there is more Issan music in Bangkok than Issan, if you like it there then good for you.

There are an increasing number of Farangs who do not share your view.

There is more corruption per square kilometre in Pattaya than you can shake a stick at - and that is just the Farangs - never mind the imported Thais.

If you think Isaan is ghastly just come and have a beer on my patio, watching the sun down with khao Phanom Rung on one side and khao Pribad on the other.post-190508-0-45977400-1385917957_thumb.

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