Issan girls good or bad

[ttthailand]

I've been reading with interest the various threads on this subject on this and other forums. I have to say, I am confused and would appreciate the advice of those more experienced than me.

I met a cute Thai girl who was just about to graduate from a three year accounting degree course. I didn't meet her as a bar-girl but through someone who is. I have photos of her graduation ceremony (it is me asking for photos, not her sending them unsolicited). Yes, she had used her looks to help pay for her course on occasion (she says four or five times) but there is something untypical of a bar girl about her, I think. Not least, and at the risk of being indelicate, in the bedroom she does not feel as though she has had multiple lovers, if you know what I mean, quite the reverse. I have known her for five months, now and she has not once asked for money. She did have to go into hospital to get her tonsils removed and I did insist on paying but I have photos of her in hospital all wired up to a drip etc, so I'm sure it wasn't a scam. She does have a father who is sick with diabetes and glaucoma who is in and out of hospital in Petchabon and she has had to take time off work to visit him but not once has she asked (nor have I offered) for money. She does talk about her mother who is not too well off and how she might need to build a house for her (and for herself when she gets old but all in the context of her life and plans. She has not, yet, hit on me for help. Yes, she has a fourteen year old son from her dissolved marriage and he is being cared for by his paternal grandparents. She ticks a lot of bar-girl boxes, yet is a sweet, very intelligent, girl who is great company and has not yet cost me anything I have not been prepared to pay and I have yet to catch her lying.

Next month I am planning to visit het mother and son in Udon & Nongkhai. At first I thought this was an indication that she trusts me and looks to the future but plenty of previous threads would indicate that this is a well trodden path to entanglement. After, we are going for a secluded beach holiday, north of Phuket. Again, I am paying but that is no more than I would expect. I am massively more wealthy than her.

I would ask for advice. Do you think she is playing the long game and that she will request the money tap to be turned on at some point, or do you think I might be paranoid and have hit upon a genuine good but poor girl? Of course my advice to myself is "wait and see". All the time I am enjoying her company for no more than I think reasonable, all is well. The only problem is that there are so many stories that abound about gullible Farangs being fleeced, that my suspicions are, perhaps unwarrantedly, aroused.

What are the thoughts of the great and good of this forum, may I ask?

Cheers

For what it's worth.... Sounds like she is just a normal Thai lady who is in her mid thirties. Being in her thirties and having a teenage child she is past her due date already as far as Thais are concerned and for most of these ladies just finding someone is a plus. I would guess she doesn't have too many options so she is playing it safe. Will she ask for money later, unless she has everything already she will ask for sure. The question is, how much will she want and how reasonable will she be. If you become boyfriend/girlfriend and she asks for a little to help pay some bills I think not a problem. If she is greedy then that's another matter.

[Assurancetourix]

Geography at birth is irrelevant to how a person behaves.

Thanks CharlieH

For those who can understand french ;

[Issangeorge]

I've been reading with interest the various threads on this subject on this and other forums. I have to say, I am confused and would appreciate the advice of those more experienced than me.

I met a cute Thai girl who was just about to graduate from a three year accounting degree course. I didn't meet her as a bar-girl but through someone who is. I have photos of her graduation ceremony (it is me asking for photos, not her sending them unsolicited). Yes, she had used her looks to help pay for her course on occasion (she says four or five times) but there is something untypical of a bar girl about her, I think. Not least, and at the risk of being indelicate, in the bedroom she does not feel as though she has had multiple lovers, if you know what I mean, quite the reverse. I have known her for five months, now and she has not once asked for money. She did have to go into hospital to get her tonsils removed and I did insist on paying but I have photos of her in hospital all wired up to a drip etc, so I'm sure it wasn't a scam. She does have a father who is sick with diabetes and glaucoma who is in and out of hospital in Petchabon and she has had to take time off work to visit him but not once has she asked (nor have I offered) for money. She does talk about her mother who is not too well off and how she might need to build a house for her (and for herself when she gets old but all in the context of her life and plans. She has not, yet, hit on me for help. Yes, she has a fourteen year old son from her dissolved marriage and he is being cared for by his paternal grandparents. She ticks a lot of bar-girl boxes, yet is a sweet, very intelligent, girl who is great company and has not yet cost me anything I have not been prepared to pay and I have yet to catch her lying.

Next month I am planning to visit het mother and son in Udon & Nongkhai. At first I thought this was an indication that she trusts me and looks to the future but plenty of previous threads would indicate that this is a well trodden path to entanglement. After, we are going for a secluded beach holiday, north of Phuket. Again, I am paying but that is no more than I would expect. I am massively more wealthy than her.

I would ask for advice. Do you think she is playing the long game and that she will request the money tap to be turned on at some point, or do you think I might be paranoid and have hit upon a genuine good but poor girl? Of course my advice to myself is "wait and see". All the time I am enjoying her company for no more than I think reasonable, all is well. The only problem is that there are so many stories that abound about gullible Farangs being fleeced, that my suspicions are, perhaps unwarrantedly, aroused.

What are the thoughts of the great and good of this forum, may I ask?

Cheers

Okay, from what you have said, the only thing that concerns me is the medical part. Thailand has ฿30 medical care for all Thais in their designated government hospitals, thus her father's medical care should be free, as should have hers. If she went to a private hospital when she couldn't really afford it, that concerns me about her priorities. Government Hospitals are fine, especially for something simple like tonsils. As for building her mother a house, most if not all Thai girls from anywhere in Thailand want to do that. That desire is not going to go away and if you pursue a relationship with this girl, be prepared to build one at some point in time. Remember a Thai girl, especially an older one, is looking for security, not love. Love may develop as the relationship develops, but security is first. She is also looking for someone to look after her family, be prepared for this, she is already warning you in talking about building a house for her mother. This does not make her a bar girl or a bad girl, in effect it makes her a good girl. Just be prepared that this is what is expected. Of course if the girl is hi-so, it may not be. Some girls marry for love and don't care about looking after the family etc, but if they stay in Thailand and visit their family often, the pressure, perhaps not from the family, but from the village, will eventually get too them, and they will become very unhappy, and thus so will you. Considering your friend has already expressed her desires she is subtly telling you what is expected from you. If you are prepared to do this, then that is fine, otherwise probably better to end the relationship now. Also remember, it has been my experience of coming to Thailand for 30 years now and living here for a total of 15, that the Farang Thai relationships that fail are usually age related, not bar girl related. If a man in his fifties marries a girl in her twenties, the chance of it lasting are less than if a man in his sixties marries a lady in her forties. My advice is if the girl is twenty the Farang should be no older than twenty-five, and then advancing by one year as the girl's age rises. For instance if the lady is 25 the Farang no older than 30, 30 the Farang should be no older than forty-five, 35, the Farang should be no older than fifty-five, forty the farang should be no older than 65. Of course all relationships are different, but I think a good guideline to stick to.

[rsokolowski]

I have been married to an Isaan woman from Buriram since 1993. We currently live in Hawaii and we will be retiring and moving to Thailand in the next 14 months. I love her mother and father and most of her family (issues with one sister and brother-in-law). She became a US citizen several years ago. Isaan women are just like women every where, some are good, some are bad. Find a good one and you will be a happy man for the rest of your life.

[adgilcan]

Very interesting replies fellas, thank you. Regarding the tonsil medical treatment, she went to the Camillian hospital which is not too far from her. I had suggested the Bumrungrad as they do laser oblation surgery there but it was twice the price and she protested it was too expensive and opted for cold steel at the Camillian.

Thanks for the thoughts on age difference. It is a concern as she is 32 and I am 55. Whilst I am in no way ugly, she has hardly hit the jackpot in the looks department. I also appreciate the thoughts on Thai girls seeking security. And why not? Life has no safety net in that part of the world. As long as there is give and take, alongside respect, I should be happy.

I very much appreciate all your inputs.

Many thanks

[Issangeorge]

So you fall just above my upper age limit, but as she has a son, and over 30, security will be her first priority, so as long as you understand this and except it, there should be no problem. Just take it slow. I have no idea what your plans are, whether you live here and are working and plan on returning to your own country or not. If you end up living with this lady and building her a house. Build a small one to start and then if all goes well you can add on to it. I ended up building a fairly big one, but I had been married to my wife for two years living in Canada together and knew her four years before that, so I was pretty sure everything would work out. Next month we will be celebrating 15 years if marriage together.

[somo]

Earlier this year my wife opened a beauty shop in our front garden just for something to do on occasion.

As a result she gets all the local gossip whilst cutting hair etc. She recently told me that 90% of her customers are not happy with their husbands and many have lovers on the side. This is not just the young ones either - all ages. Their main complaint is that Thai men are lazy drunks with no manners who expect everything to be done for them. They think a farang one would treat them much better and of course have more money so they would have a better life but I am not sure they would be any more faithful to him. The point is that I don't think they would more unfaithful either but be careful. The faithfulness seems independent of nationality.

The pretty ones talk to her quite openly about working in restaurants and sleeping with customers and how much they get. They are totally unashamed but of course would never admit it to close family. They also think that a farang would be a better "catch" not so much for the money but for the manners. Assuming we have lots of farang friends (which we don't) some even offer to pay for my wife to broker an introduction. Most of them have never met one but are sure they want one.

[adgilcan]

So you fall just above my upper age limit, but as she has a son, and over 30, security will be her first priority, so as long as you understand this and except it, there should be no problem. Just take it slow. I have no idea what your plans are, whether you live here and are working and plan on returning to your own country or not. If you end up living with this lady and building her a house. Build a small one to start and then if all goes well you can add on to it. I ended up building a fairly big one, but I had been married to my wife for two years living in Canada together and knew her four years before that, so I was pretty sure everything would work out. Next month we will be celebrating 15 years if marriage together.

Again, good advice, thank you. I agree that in all things romantic it is best to take it slow. May I ask how much it might cost to build a small house might be in the country? Somewhat less than in Rosedale, Toronto I would hope!

Very much appreciate everyone's views! Thank you all

[adgilcan]

Oh, and many many congratulations on 15 years of happy marriage. That's a pretty good statistic in anyone's country!

[MaeJoMTB]

Are they good ........ for what?

[rocketboybkk]

To Answe the ops title

Isaan girls

Good in bed

Good in kitchen

If been in the bar then both the above true but BAD in the truth department

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[manxninja]

George where do you get your age difference calculations from, bizarre.

[thaiduncankk]

George where do you get your age difference calculations from, bizarre.

I agree, in fact it is more than bizarre !

You meet a lady, getting on fine together, then you say, 'excuse me a minute, I just need to check if you are in the correct age bracket'. 'Oh I'm sorry my dear, you are 2 years either side of my acceptable limit', but it was nice meeting you anyway'.

He has already stated that almost all of them are looking for security and not love, so WHY, OH WHY, get married ?

[Issangeorge]

The age bracket just comes from my thirty years experience in Thailand and what couples seem to be together. When you think about it, it's not just for Thailand, but all over. When a girl is young in her early twenties, she probably is looking for Prince charming and love, usually she is looking for this in someone her own age or close to it. As she reaches her 30s she starts to think of security, and thus age isn't as important as the security factor. Of course every situation is different and everyone is different, I know older Thai school teachers, and business ladies who are comfortable and financially are secure and single, and have no desire to get married. They don't want to share their wealth with a husband, so they aren't looking for one, if they did get married it would only be because if love. However I still feel my age brackets are a good guide, but that may be more a personal thing.

As for the price of a house, you could probably build a small cinderblock, rendered plaster house with tiled floors and concrete tiled roof, for around ฿800,000 maybe a little less maybe a little more. It would be pretty basic, but comfortable. To build a farang style house with proper brick or the insulation type blocks, and farang type fixtures etc, you are probably looking at ฿15,000 to ฿30,000 a square metre, maybe more. Depends on the quality. Still considerably cheaper than Toronto prices.

[Scott]

An inflammatory post and reply have been removed.

[MaeJoMTB]

.

As for the price of a house, you could probably build a small cinderblock, rendered plaster house with tiled floors and concrete tiled roof, for around ฿800,000 maybe a little less maybe a little more.

And if you weren't so gullible and everyone wasn't stealing from you, it could probably be built for 300kbht.

But still essentially a waste of money unless you like farming, are totally insane, a hermit or are an elderly drunk waiting to die (soon).

[Issangeorge]

Even if you built it yourself and bought all the materials from a name brand store that doesn't double price, you would be hard to build it for ฿300,000. I was trying to give a reasonable bench mark price. Some if us like living in the middle of nowhere, we don't have to put up with the abundant negativity that's out in Farang ghettos. Yes I am in my seniour years, but I'm not a drunk, or drug addict, although I do get together with other non-negative farangs twice a week for a beer or two. I don't drink the rest of the week. I walk everyday though, and love it that I have so many different directions to go and routes to take, the walk is never boring.

[sirineou]

Issan girls good, Troll threads bad

[Sutty]

These Issan girls normally come from a poor family and are looking for some security. I think most will make an effort to extract a few dollars from their farang so they have something to call their own. It is however up to the farang how things will workout. He can give or resist and see where it goes. These girls do however have a way of getting all sweet or making you feel guilty and breaking you down until you give in and open the ATM. If the relationship started with a barfine then I think you already know the answer.

Not having a pop here at all just want to know why he would know the answer if it started with a bar fine !!!! I know several people who's relationship started with a bar fine. And to my certain knowledge not one has been fleeced or robbed and are still happily married I find it hard sometimes that genralizations are made which for the most part are unfounded. Yes sure there are girls looking for a fast buck I would suggest they are in the minority but as they get the most coverage on here it suddenly becomes ALL. When you pull a women in a bar in UK you pay for there drinks all night (costs a dam sight more than here) so are they ALL scamers as well????. Do you really think they want to work in bars here !!! Do the maths most work in factory's 8000bht a month 3 night in bar if there lucky 3000 bht a night 9000 bht not hard to see why they are drawn to it. Given there circumstances I think they are brave ladies doing what they have to to support there family or kids which before the knockers start they have usualy had before they start work. So please no more genralizations please

[edd]

Well!!

I met my wife when I was 41and she was 21.

We have been married for over 27 years.

1 or 2 arguments over the years, mostly my not understanding the culture.

Like most men I Do not understand the female mind.

Anyone that says that they do is self delusional.

I love her family & they seem to have feelings for me.

We have brought up 3 children after their mother got killed in an accident and father ran off.

All the girls consider me DAD.

So I have another family.

When we go back up to the house in the village its great.

[buji]

So many threads paint a picture about the "Issan Girls" and their families.

Do they really view the farang as a walking ATM machine or are the guys in this forum just painting every Issan girl with the same bush because they had a bad experience based on their own stupidity....i.e....

Promised the world and more to the girl but just another case of "Champagne taste but lemonade pockets"

Personally I think they are a really genuine breed of people !!!

-RandomSand-

Lots based on stupidity &/or bar girl trust but other on the ignorance of Issan culture. Issan was a richer providence once upon a time & still carries the 'face'. The obvious is too avoid bar girls but otherwise you still need in one way or another, a big bank account. If had a do-over, would of gone to Chiang Mai & made my Stand there.

[RAZZELL]

Biggest troll post out.

As "Isaan" is nearly half the land mass and 1/3 the population of Thailand it rules out a hell of a lot of women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isan

RAZZ

[DILLIGAD]

[mcfish]

Nearly every one who married a thai girl on this thread is deliriously happy. I'm not buying it

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[mcfish]

So many threads paint a picture about the "Issan Girls" and their families.

Do they really view the farang as a walking ATM machine or are the guys in this forum just painting every Issan girl with the same bush because they had a bad experience based on their own stupidity....i.e....

Promised the world and more to the girl but just another case of "Champagne taste but lemonade pockets"

Personally I think they are a really genuine breed of people !!!

-RandomSand-

Lots based on stupidity &/or bar girl trust but other on the ignorance of Issan culture. Issan was a richer providence once upon a time & still carries the 'face'. The obvious is too avoid bar girls but otherwise you still need in one way or another, a big bank account. If had a do-over, would of gone to Chiang Mai & made my Stand there.

Why Chang Mai?

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[somo]

Nearly every one who married a thai girl on this thread is deliriously happy. I'm not buying it

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Why not?

[buji]

Biggest troll post out.

As "Isaan" is nearly half the land mass and 1/3 the population of Thailand it rules out a hell of a lot of women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isan

RAZZ

Biggest idiot...quoting wiki on such a simple posting. Yes, a stupid topic but not a troll post. The guys a tourist.

[MAJIC]

I'm posting this from the company apartment in lower Suk paid for by my wife's employers. We've been married 14 years with a 9 year old daughter.

When I messed up my money transfer from the UK to buy a car in LOS my father in law gave me a bridging loan until it was sorted.

My wife's from Khon Kaen. Her dad's from Roi Et.

A vague acquaintance of mine gave his Thai girlfriend 200,000 baht towards opening a restaurant. She gave half to her mum and they both blew the lot playing cards.

She's from Minburi.

Go figure.

Basically if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck it's a duck no matter where it was born.

Unfortunately many blokes seem to latch onto somebody and all there baggage simply by the virtue of they've got a sexy arse and give "oral pleasure" on demand.

"A vague acquaintance of mine gave his Thai girlfriend 200,000 baht towards opening a restaurant. She gave half to her mum and they both blew the lot playing cards"

It's a fact some people can't handle money and will always be in debt,and will never learn. how can you help them? you can't, until they sink to bottom and fight to come back up !

[rocketboybkk]

I'm posting this from the company apartment in lower Suk paid for by my wife's employers. We've been married 14 years with a 9 year old daughter.

When I messed up my money transfer from the UK to buy a car in LOS my father in law gave me a bridging loan until it was sorted.

My wife's from Khon Kaen. Her dad's from Roi Et.

A vague acquaintance of mine gave his Thai girlfriend 200,000 baht towards opening a restaurant. She gave half to her mum and they both blew the lot playing cards.

She's from Minburi.

Go figure.

Basically if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck it's a duck no matter where it was born.

Unfortunately many blokes seem to latch onto somebody and all there baggage simply by the virtue of they've got a sexy arse and give "oral pleasure" on demand.

"A vague acquaintance of mine gave his Thai girlfriend 200,000 baht towards opening a restaurant. She gave half to her mum and they both blew the lot playing cards"

It's a fact some people can't handle money and will always be in debt,and will never learn. how can you help them? you can't, until they sink to bottom and fight to come back up !

The only way up for many Isaan ladies with no prospects is the bar.

But if they work, stay off drugs & learn to play the falang then land, a house built & paid plus a motocy will only be 5 years away.

Granted they'll have to be lookers & ride falang as much as possible but who know, they might like the ride!

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[KC 71]

My x girlfriend said- 'i have 1 heart , but many rooms' !!!