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Directions to the Anniversary Hash,Saturday 20th November 2010

Sorry for delay in sending out the directions but I was waiting to see whether rice crop in a particular area had been cut. As of this morning, it had not been so we will need to make use of the alternative route instead.

Starting from the Little Duck traffic lights, proceed south down the superhighway (AH2). Continue until you reach the traffic lights at Rong Khun, or the White Temple. This is the second set of traffic lights you reach after leaving lights at the Little Duck. Turn right here and proceed for one and a half kilometres until you reach a concrete factory on the left hand side of the road. Immediately beyond this factory is a cross road. Turn left here.

Continue along this small and badly holed road until you come to kilometre stone 2 (facing road) or 11 (facing you). There are not many kilometre stones along this road so keep your eyes open. Continue along same road beyond ks 2/11 for approx 750 metres and then park up on the side of the road. HHH signs will be placed at the concrete factory and at the meeting point. Note: no sign at the White Temple traffic light.

Please be at the meeting point at 2.45 so that we can start at 3 pm promptly and so finish in time to complete the circle - election of officers etc. - in the daylight.

I have arranged an On On On but need to know numbers. I will ask you whether you wish to attend before Hash starts. On On!!! Ian

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Directions to the Anniversary Hash,Saturday 20th November 2010

Sorry for delay in sending out the directions but I was waiting to see whether rice crop in a particular area had been cut. As of this morning, it had not been so we will need to make use of the alternative route instead.

Starting from the Little Duck traffic lights, proceed south down the superhighway (AH2). Continue until you reach the traffic lights at Rong Khun, or the White Temple. This is the second set of traffic lights you reach after leaving lights at the Little Duck. Turn right here and proceed for one and a half kilometres until you reach a concrete factory on the left hand side of the road. Immediately beyond this factory is a cross road. Turn left here.

Continue along this small and badly holed road until you come to kilometre stone 2 (facing road) or 11 (facing you). There are not many kilometre stones along this road so keep your eyes open. Continue along same road beyond ks 2/11 for approx 750 metres and then park up on the side of the road. HHH signs will be placed at the concrete factory and at the meeting point. Note: no sign at the White Temple traffic light.

Please be at the meeting point at 2.45 so that we can start at 3 pm promptly and so finish in time to complete the circle - election of officers etc. - in the daylight.

I have arranged an On On On but need to know numbers. I will ask you whether you wish to attend before Hash starts. On On!!! Ian

What is an On On On?B)

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Chiang Rai 7thAnniversary Hash

Hash report No.86 20th November 2010

Trial by thorn

Venue: Down a rather pot-holed road off into the countryside near the White temple.

Hares: Able Seaman and Gorf, with Allo,Allo acting as Sweeper.

Pre-Hash gathering

This anniversary Hash saw a magnificent turn-out of 49 Hashers. People had travelled from far and wide – France, U.K, even all the way from Bangkok to be with us. We had 5 of our founding fathers in attendance, and Able Seaman had organised an On,On,On to add to the enjoyment. Don’t be fooled by the photograph showing certain thin-blooded individuals wearing thick down coats, it was 29.C in the shade and a lovely afternoon.

Able Seaman called us to listen in to the pre-Hash instructions – he described our idiosyncratic symbols for the benefit of non-regular CRHashers and gave a brief summary of what we could expect. A longer route for the more athletic, and one of about 5.5km for those who choose not to become muscle bound.


Off we set, into the greenery.

A glance at Able Seaman’s lower legs before we set off had rung alarm bells. There, beneath the finest covering of down, were the tell-tale angry red spots and deep scratches from multiple close encounters with my favourite plants –** Mimosa pigra and its’ little cousin Mimosa pudica. Having decided to venture out in walking sandals and bare legs, and spotting one of the Bangkok contingency sporting brief running shorts, I knew that some of us would be regretting these fashion choices by the end of the Hash. (As I write this, my legs and arms still look like a pustular moon landscape, each septic spot marking the point of entry of a thorn. Three other Hashers met with this week also displayed evidence of these plants’ ability to act as skin flails.)

The Hares had worked hard to cut down and clear the trail, where it had overgrown onto the paths, but –short of wearing chain mail – it’s impossible not to suffer some injury from an encounter with this thorny beast.

Now I think about, maybe this was why some Hashers were wearing thick coats and trousers – had the Hares pre-warned them?

The trails themselves were easy going enough, a few muddy patches by the paddy fields, no steep ascents and the checks had been sorted out long before I got to them. Nice big clear arrows showed us the way, and both Able Seaman and Allo,Allo guided any who deviated from the chosen path with gentle encouragement to find the correct route. No sooner had three of us balanced precariously over 2 termite ridden poles to cross a ditch, than we were summoned back over it to keep on track. Five yards further on we performed an even more hazardous crossing over an even more decrepit bit of bamboo to get to the same side of the ditch we’d reached before. Helping hands from the gentlemen in the party to assist were much appreciated.

Some of the trail was over narrow and thorny paths that edged recently harvested rice paddies. Seeking to emulate the example of some of our graceful Thai Hashers (who were making quicker and less prickly progress by using the harvested paddy to glide over, barely creating a dimple), Scotch on the rocks stepped off the path and onto the paddy surface. Regaining the path 2 steps later and wiping off the mud that covered her shoes, she was heard to mention that ‘perhaps there was a bit of a weight differential’. Not wishing to disappear up to my armpits, I made sure I stuck to the official path.

The Hash performed its’ usual function, for most of us, of allowing a bit of a chat whilst getting some exercise. Most of the early part of my Hash was spent debating matters of great scientific importance with Big bang (our resident physicist) and listening to other Hashers discussing the real estate market in C.R, occasionally breaking off to exclaim ‘ooh, look at that’ as we passed some beautiful lake vista, or ‘you b*****!’ as we encountered another bit of spiny Mimosa. We were slightly bemused to be passed three times by one Bangkok Hasher, and twice by Ron, must have been on the long trail we thought, or could they have been lost???

Anyway, we all got back. Wi (On Fire)ran in first with the Hares in close attendance, in about 1 hour and 20 minutes.

The Circle

With a long agenda to get through, and with food and drink not occupying our attention too much due to the promise of an ‘On,On,On’, it wasn’t long before Namron (our master of ceremonies for this Hash), called for our attention. The famous CRH circle ( 6 people interested in extra beers gathering round into a protective huddle, the rest of the Hash crowd lounging on picnic blankets eating and chatting and hoping no-one will ask them to regain a vertical stance) was supplemented this month by the Bangkok contingency who put us to shame with their enthusiasm.

After thanking the Hares for their excellent Hash,- though we all thought it was a lot longer than they said it was going to be - Namron got down to business.

In a blur of efficiency and amidst loud cajoling for suggestions, four Hashers received their Hash names.

A very bashful young Hasher (Badmans’ daughter) will henceforth be ‘Runaway’ in tribute to her fast disappearance behind Mum and Dad in order to avoid going into the Circle.

Rea, Dutch ex- plainclothes policewoman and an unmistakable figure on any Hash, became ‘Cop out’.

Guido from Switzerland whose devotion to visiting a local supermarket is legendary, became ‘The little Big C man’’

Lastly, Ron from USA with a lifetime of working in the medical field – most recently in dermatology – became something that sounded like ‘Sore <deleted>’, a play on psoriasis – I think!

Welcoming the Virgins

We had 5 hash virgins to welcome, including 2 Thai gentlemen who looked very bemused by the circle but took their introduction with good humour, downing their beer with great skill.

Founding members- we were honoured with the presence of 5 of the original members of our Hash, including the very first G.M/Chairman, Brian Heath (Brain Death). At the suggestion of Namron – bemoaning the fact that CRHash is vocally challenged as we only know ‘one song’, -Brian led a magnificent and impromptu rendition of something called ‘All the usual’ to demonstrate there is more to the Hash hymn book than our ‘Drink it down’.

T-shirts were flying off the pile to them and new Hashers.

Election time

The Anniversary Hash is the event sensible Hashers make sure they miss, in order to avoid any possibility of being forced onto the Mismanagement Committee for the next year. Worn down by the onerous responsibilities from the last 12 months, most of the current committee members had forgotten what month it was and turned up.

Needless to say new ‘volunteers’ were thin on the ground and the Hash pack was not willing to accept excuses – a minor terminal illness - writers’ cramp, no battery in the Hash Cash calculator, a tendency to drink any left-over beer between Hashes- all failed to deter the ruthless pack from re-electing most of the present incumbents. However – some relief was available in the form of people going ‘sharees’ over roles. And we have new G.M’s/Chairmen, serenaded into post with a tuneful rendition of ‘where is the paper’ in schoolboy French.

2011 Mismanagement Committee

Hash Beer – Titanic (and Do it yourself will take on role when ice floes are around)

Hash Cash – Doesn’t Matterhorn will have to manfully soldier on alone.

Hash Scribes – Ooh matron and Oddjob will have the original (and best) scribe Wirgin Bruce back at the writing desk when required.

And lastly…..

‘Allo, Allo’ and Handcock will share the prestige of chairman. (They got off to a magnificent start by stating they both intended to be away for the next couple of Hashes.)

Next month’s Hash

Wirgin Bruce and Wild woman are the Hares for our Christmas Hash. In honour of the festive occasion, Wirgin Bruce requested that Hashers bring along a wrapped present (costing no less than 100baht and no more 200 baht) for Father Christmas to distribute. He also suggested that any Hasher bringing along children who wants to ensure that they receive an appropriate present, bring along something for them for Santa to hand out.

An invitation from Gorf (Frank)

Frank is due to be married this week and had very kindly invited any of the CRH to attend. Details should have reached you via an e-mail this week. Congratulations!!

The Circle activities drawing to an end, we had one last bit of excitement to deal with. The normal occupants of the Hash trail ground wanted to return to pasture. Two bullocks and a cow with well-grown calf were stunned to encounter our noisy and motley crew on their bridge to home. Deciding that passing between us was outwith their criteria of ‘things we can cope with’, the more skittish of the beasts turned tail and fled. One well meaning Hasher grabbed hold of its’ trailing rope in a vain attempt to control its’ departure. Now, in a previous incarnation Oddjob and I had been in daily close combat with livestock and know that it’s hard enough to control a bolshy blackface ewe, never mind a whopping ¾ ton stirk so we didn’t rush to his assistance. Needless to say, the beast took off down the road and into a field, pulling said Hasher at such speed it looked like he was skiing along the road surface.

The rest of us played the ‘we’re not looking at you, so we don’t exist’ game to allow the other animals to trip-trap over that bridge to safety.

A few minutes later, our heroic Hasher reappeared, sans beast, clothing akimbo, looking nonchalant and apparently un-harmed. However, rope burns to both hands were severe enough, we learned later, to curtail at least one game of golf this week. We hope you’ve recovered now.

Exhausted after all this, it was time to head off to the On,On,On or home.

On,on, ooh Matron and Oddjob

Don’t forget to look at the photos at:

** Mimosa pigra

Introduced into Thailand in 1947 for use as a green manure and to restrict access to river banks thus reducing erosion. Now covers massive areas of the Mekong delta and is considered a weed of ’national significance’. Likes a wet/dry climate.

Apart from being thoroughly unpleasant to try and walk through, it also:

Blocks irrigation systems by causing sediment build-up and completely alters floodplains

Harms farming livelihoods by reducing pasture – ungulates can eat it but prefer not to, and will actively avoid areas where it grows. It converts natural grassland floodplains into unproductive scrubland. Grows in fallow rice paddies making reclamation more costly.

In infested areas there are significantly fewer birds and lizards.

Hinders native tree regeneration and forms vast stands where nothing else grows.

Makes access to waterways more difficult, affecting fishermen’ livelihoods and hindering livestocks’ access to drinking water.

Makes access to electricity poles for repair difficult, and reduces road traffic visibility.

Spreads via animal dung, on vehicles/ machinery/ clothing, animal hides, and its’ buoyant seed pods ensure easy spread by flood water.

It has been placed on the ‘100 world’s worst invaders’ list. In its’ native habitat of tropical America it is kept in check by 200 species of insects and fungal pathogens. In Thailand, (as in many other countries where it was introduced), there are no natural controls. Thailand has now introduced four of these natural biological control species to try to combat the weed. Control by aerial spraying of gelled gasoline followed by fire kills large stands but it enhances buried seed germination – so has to be followed up by herbicide spraying.


Photographs of the hash can be found by following this link


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Here are the directions to the Christmas hash on Saturday December 18th

Starting at the Big C head south along the Super Highway until you reach the first traffic lights and then turn left. This is Highway 1020. Go about 6 km along this road until you reach the first major turning to the left. This is Highway 1152 headed to Phaya Mengrai. Turn left here. Travel along this road 2 km until you see the Santiburi Golf Course and turn right into this complex. Shortly after passing the gate you come to a T-junction. Turn right here. You are now on a ring road that circles the exterior of the complex. Travel 2 km never turning left until you come across a HHH pointed towards a house. Park here.

Plan on 25 minutes to reach this spot from the Big C. Please plan to arrive by 2:45 so we can begin at 3:00 pm promptly.

Wild Woman is going to put on an On! On! On! (supper) after the run. In order to help organize the food, would you please indicate if you are planning to come and how many people you will bring by email to Wirgin Bluce at [email protected] or phone 089 635 3224.

What makes Christmas special is the exchange of gifts. So we are asking that everyone bring some wrapped present costing not less than 100 Baht and no more than 200 Baht to be distributed by Father Christmas in a random way. If parents would like their child to receive something suitable to their age and gender, please that gift with the child's name on it and we will ensure that s/he receives it in the general distribution.

Those interesting in swimming with the fish in the lake or paddling the kayak are welcome to do so at their own risk. Bring your own bathing suit and towel. We will provide life preservers for the children.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

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Chiang Rai ‘Start slowly and taper off’ Hash

December 2010 report no.87

‘Jingle bells’

Venue; inside the Santiburi golf course estate way off to the left of the Thoeng road, at the Hare’s lair.

Hares: Wirgin Bruce and Wild Woman.

With a fair few winter visitors, including another representative of the Dutch police force to keep us under control, and others lured out of hiding by the news of an ‘On,On.On’ provided by Wild Woman and Co., we had a great turn-out of 57 -though about ten sluggards didn’t actually expend any energy by taking part in the Hash. There were quite a few children amongst us – Santa was rumoured to be going to drop in later and the sense of anticipation was palpable. The weather was cool (21.c) and overcast, and coats, cardigans and even a few Santa hats were worn for their thermal qualities.

A fair bit of finickity sorting out of the Christmas gifts by ‘Santa’s little helper’ a.k.a Wirgin Bruce prior to the start and then we were ready for the Hares’ advice. I think he was eager to get us on our way when he realised the general conversation had moved from just admiring a beautiful Jade vine (puang yok) in the driveway, on to how and where we could best take cuttings from it.

Lots of checks were promised, and as the assistant Hare had got lost on the course that morning, we could look forward to many opportunities for displaying our infamous CRH group stance of total befuddlement when faced with a choice of paths.

There were 2 routes, the one for the FRBs being about a kilometre longer than the more popular one.

The Hash

Off we set, following the trail – one of delicately scented talc inside the estate grounds – reverting to paper outside. Only Doesn’t Matterhorn set off at anything more than a fast walk, he and Do it yourself also being the only ones to tackle the longer course and lead us all back in.

It proved to be an easy Hash with no real challenges apart from the preponderance of checks, which allowed many opportunities for deliberate short-cutting by unscrupulous Hashers. Flat ground, a few pretty ponds and firm paths made up the course.

It was just what we needed, conversation again taking precedence over forward motion, and leaving us plenty of energy for the ‘On,On,On’. Namron was with the FRBs but turned back in search of missing children. The pace from the rest of us was so relaxed that, unbelievably, the scribes were amongst the front strollers for most of the Hash. No-one, apart from the FRB, showed evidence of even a gentle glow on their return.

After a quick raid by Nita and Noot of Wild Woman’s passionfruit harvest (to aghast cries from Hashers not ‘in the know’, who thought they were breaking one of our cardinal rules and blatantly raiding someone’s food crop), the trail took us through a hedge into the estate and back to base.

The On,On,On

We all collected in the Hares’ back garden, admiring the view over a lake and the general surroundings. No-one took up Bruce’s offer of a voluntary swim, but he did have to make use of the boat to retrieve a paddle that mysteriously found itself floating offshore, I had my camera ready to record any mishap, but he made it back safely.

Only one child managed to fall in. (Oddjob won our bet – I had guessed that all three boys would end up in the drink before the start of the meal). They had a great time feeding the huge giant Gourami (?) with bananas.

Wild Woman and a small army of helpers had prepared a scrumptious spread for us. There was passionfruit juice, Hibiscus drink, vegetarian kebabs and spaghetti with Bolognese sauce, ROAST TURKEY and gravy, samosas, Brownies, fruit cake and almond biscuits and many other dishes too numerous to mention. In other words, there was something for every palette.

After we had eaten our fill, and as the dusk settled around us, lights were lit along the lake shore, and we were called to attention.

The Circle was kept brief – both our G.Ms were missing so Namron took over.

The Hares were thanked for their magnificent efforts and Wild Woman asked us to toast those such as Noot and Pea who had helped prepare the food and to set up and serve at the On,On,On. Many thanks from all of us!

3 virgin hashers were welcomed.

Namron called in his 3 children to the circle, and the ‘missing’ children episode was explained. ‘Stay here, we’ll come back and get you’ the older brothers had said, (the words that, throughout history, those of us with older siblings have learnt are nowt but treacherous lies), leaving the youngest one abandoned on the trail. They had then headed off back to the Hare’s house to make sure they didn’t miss out on the post-hash food. Ah, brotherly love.

Two ‘namings’ were postponed to the next meeting to allow us to proceed swiftly on to the final part of the evening’s entertainment.

Santa comes to the Hash.

I don’t know what strings they had had to pull, but the Hares had managed to get Father Christmas to come along to the Hash. The presents had been left piled up on a Xmas tree and light festooned buffalo cart and had been prodded and shaken by an admiring group of children for some minutes. Then, from the darkness, came Santa. The children were first in the queue for presents and we all enjoyed the experience.

After Santa had finished his duties, further fun was organised by the Hares in the form of Hula hoop races and a rather naughty game of hitting the ball down a course. I’ll let you look at the photos to get the real picture.

There was a bit of controversy surrounding Santa’s visit. Amongst the discrepancies in his paperwork were: no work visa, no immigration arrival or departure cards or completed import duty forms for presents, his reindeer had been impounded at the customs border in MaeSai and – Shock! Horror! Khun Noot revealed she knew him intimately. What would George say?

All in all, an excellent Hash.

Hares for next year

January- Stuart P.

February- Titanic and Nita

October – Fired up and On fire

November- Ooh Matron and OddJob.

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I have received this message from the January 15th hare (The Best Man)

Stuart,the hash will be in the Bandu area close to the Cafededoi he

will finalise directions on Thursday or Friday.

As a coincidence there is a concert very close to the start of the

Hash, if any Hashers would like to stay for the concert details below

On On

i dont have the directions for the Hash just yet, I will meet Jeff on Thursday

so can I email you with them then or is it too late? I thought I'd let you know

more about a concert that will be at the Cafe which will be the start/finish

point so that people have time to think about whether they'd like to attend

afterwards, maybe you could email this info out first with the directions to

follow on Thursday.

It will start at 5.30pm until Midnight and tickets are 250baht each, if we buy

10 we get 1 free. (I can't be held responsible for the quality of the food or

music though, it's just a coincidence that there is a concert there the same

evening of our hash.)

Choose one food + one drink from followings

>BBQ.pork ribs /w french fried ( for one person )

>Grilled Sausage /w mashed potato

>Fried Chicken wings

>French Fried

>Onion Rings

@ Baht 60, 100 for the next sets.

>Small Bottle of Leo or Heineken

>One Glass of Wine

>One glass of liquor /w mixer

@ Baht 60 for the next drinks.

The music featured will be

* Classical Guitar Ensembles

* Solo Classical Guitar

* Solo Violin

* Chiangrai Blues Band

Below is a link to the Cafe's website




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From Big 'C' head North on highway 1, direction Mae Sai , go over the river bridge, keep travelling North past MAKRO and the Airport turn off until you come to Bandu Municipality Market, the concrete over bridge is a good marker. Still heading North and ignoring the two small roads off to the left, approximately 0.3 km past the market is a left hand turn through an arch that says long live the King in Thai it's the 1151 road according to the sign on the road, but Google Maps shows it as 1511, it's the same road to the Pong Phrabat Hot Springs and the Pong Phabat Waterfall, the turn off is 9.5 km from Big 'C'.

Hopefully you will see a HHH sign here from about 13.30 , there are several other signs as well including one that says "Pong Phrabat Hot Springs 2.7 km".

Carry on along the 1151 or 1511 for 7.2km where you'll see x2 HHH Signs, here turn right up a small hill for about 500mtrs which is where you can park your car/bike on the left hand side

By the HHH sign



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The Chiang Rai ‘start slowly and taper off’ Hash

January 2011 Report number 88

‘You’ve caused chaos and confusion’ said the Fat Controller

Hare: Stuart (The Best man) was Hare –this was his first time at laying a trail for us.

Venue: Along the 1151,near the Café de doi in the vicinity of the Pong Phrabat waterfall, north of town.

By the time we all gathered at the start, the slightly overcast sky of the morning had burnt away to clear blue and the temperatures were in the balmy mid-20.C, a more pleasant day for a Hash could not have been asked for. There were 47 of us, the usual culprits including 11 children, a few ‘returnees’ and 3 eager virgin hashers who knew no better at that stage.

Stuart gave the briefing – thanking Namron, Shocking and Able Semen for their assistance in setting up his first hash trail. Apparently, ignoring exhortations from Namron to try to kill us off by making it a very challenging course, he had opted for one about ‘6….or 7…..or 8 km’ long and of medium difficulty, with ‘about 8 checks’. I didn’t like the sound of this at all, we were right up against the hills, would we be aquaplaning down the waterfall, was it going to be one of those no- level -ground -found Hashes? Ah well, I’d recover in time for next month, and Shocking gave me hope as he had managed to get round it 2 days before with a heel injury.

Off we set – and straight away spirits amongst those of us who find setting out the Scrabble board a physically gruelling activity could be heard to rise as we headed AWAY from the looming hills back down into rice paddy land. The FRBs were off, off and away into the distance before most of us had reached the car park entrance.

Almost straight away, memories of another Hash were brought to mind in vivid detail – Handcock’s infamous ‘365 ways to cross a paddy field’ was surpassed by the events of the next half an hour.

It was ‘chaos and confusion’ thought your trusty scribe.

Imagine, if you will, dry paddy fields as far as your eye can see, a patchwork of earth borders dividing each paddy with absolutely no discernable features to identify one from the other. Imagine the pale bleached rice straw left in the fields, a colour leaching sun, the pale colour of a very sparce paper trail and picture the resultant chaos. People went off in every single direction. Shouts of ‘On,on’ from the FRBs soon faded away as they wandered (albeit very quickly) around in the distance looking for paper. No-one in the Hash Pack had seen how the FRBs had got to where they were, so there were two/three/four groups looking for paper. Back and forth, everyone had their heads down searching, apart from those of us who like to watch how things develop before committing ourselves to physical effort. Sure enough the ‘wait and see’ approach worked and minimal effort achieved maximum results for this elite sub-group of CRH. The paddy fields being dry, whenever a paper trail was found, off we set across them to catch up.

Shouts for ‘John’ were occasionally heard as mischievous-minded Hashers spotted some skittish cows with ropes attached – but he had learned his lesson and made no attempt to corral them.

Criss-crossing the fields, we reached the end, a small hedge and ditch to traverse, and we faced another paddy patchwork. Such was the confusion that – until lured astray by a paper pile that turned out to be a bit of a feed bag – Titanic noted that our small group was briefly in the lead, a situation that nearly caused nervous exhaustion to set in. This error being swiftly rectified, we back tracked and followed the Hash Pack to reach another steep sided ditch with 3 bits of rotten wood pretending to be a bridge. Over this with no fatalities – though Wirgin Bruce stood by ready to capture any mishaps with his camera, and there was a respite from the paddies and a wider path to follow. Nita seemed to have acquired by this time some vegetation that required carrying home for transplanting.

Once on the paths, then clambering down, leaping over and then scrambling up a few more ditches,

( Wild Woman magnificently demonstrating the art of dyke vaulting to Cop Out at one of them) , past some ripening pineapple fields, and - with a couple of gentle inclines to raise the heart rate- it was back to base for most of us. The last part of the Hash offering lovely views to the hills, and the Café de doi where there was an evening concert and food to tempt post-Hash hashers with any stamina left.

Namron came in first, then immediately headed back out on a lap of honour to round up the children. Wi came in second, and then Able Semen. Most of us had been back for some considerable time when Wild Woman jogged in to wild applause, followed a few minutes later by Sally, then Stuart (Hare) and Shocking en famille…. It turns out that Stuart – having laid the trail in the morning had been called away and on his return had forgotten to remove the paper on what was supposed to be a false trail. The group he was with had trustingly followed his lead down this dead end for some considerable way before it had dawned on him that he had no idea where he was. This is what makes a Hash good fun. We hope it doesn’t put him off having another go at being a hare!

The Circle

Handcock carried out his first duties as one of this years’ G.Ms and thanked Stuart for his Hash.

Welcoming the 3 virgin hashers, from Australia, UK and Thailand in the traditional way, we then held a naming ceremony for three 3 times Hashers.

American Ex- teacher Debbie became ‘Ma’am – a – lade’

Our Thai teacher became ‘Nok easy’ – this was something to do with her having the ability to spot a paper trail from a great distance,

And Gus – apparently a great disco fiend and lover of Pattaya’s less salubrious areas became ‘Dirty Dancer’.

Bruce informed the Circle of an idea that had been floated to him of CRH possibly hosting a regional Hash. He invited any Hasher interested in discussing the idea to meet the following Monday.

(I can tell you now that a decision was taken at that meeting not to pursue this idea at the moment, but to celebrate our 10th Anniversery in 2013 by making it an Invitational Hash. I am sure we will hear more details after the next Hash).

For any of you who want to expend some more energy, Bruce is helping organise a Sprint triathalon on Saturday the 12th of February. Comprising a 750 metres swim, a 20km bike ride and a 4km run, he invites any interested people to contact him on [email protected] You can just take part in one event, or enter as a group. It’s in aid of a good cause too.

Hares for the forthcoming Months

Titanic and Iceberg will be next month’s Hares.

Shocking and Pee will be March’s, but we need volunteers for April, May, June and July. Don’t be shy, the ‘old hands’ are very helpful and will advise and guide you through what to do.

P.S We have a shredder available for anyone who wishes to borrow it. Let Shocking know if you want to use it.

See you all next month in the year of the Rabbit.

OohMatron and OddJob.

Photographic evidence of this month’s Hash can be found at:


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Directions to the Chaingrai HHH 89TH hash

Saturday February 19th Start 3-30 to 3-45 pm

From Big C,take Super Highway south to the White Temple junction,turn right past the Temple

continue until you reach the Old Chaingmai road.At the T junction turn left onto the road.Shortly after

you will see the 12 KM marker on the right hand side of the road.

(Alternatively come out of Chaingrai on the old road to 12KM marker)

Continue past for approx 400 metres and turn right under an archway onto a concrete road.There will be

a HHH sign at the turn.

Follow this road through the village for approx 1.5 Km and at a T junction (Temple opposite and HHH

sign)turn right ,follow the concrete road for about 0.9 KM shortly after the concrete finishes and the

track starts turn left and you will find parking in the shade under the trees.there will be another sign there.The village is called Maesad.

It will probabably be better to start around 3.30-3-45

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Today is the day and what a nice day for it.smile.gif

You think so? Looks to me like it will be a scorcher, today. Take lots of water and sunscreen. ;)

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It was an enjoyable day. Good turnout and a lot of walking in the shade. Folks lingered a lot longer after it was over, visiting and enjoying the social part of it.. It seems to me that it is becoming more and more a nice event to meet new people and make new friends in CR.

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Chiang Rai ‘Start slowly and taper off’ Hash

Ship’s Log for February 19th 2011 No. 89

‘A Hash of the Ancient Mariner’

(with apologies to the Hares if I have, inadvertently, omitted any possible nautical phrase or allusion )

51 of us gathered in yet another of Chiang Rai’s beautiful settings to partake of Virgin Hares Titanic and Iceberg’s Hash. Four Virgin Hashers joined us, and women and children again made up well over half of our party. Scotch on the rocks and Special Services were back, as were the “powder puff “girls and parents , and Secondhand and Bangcock joined us for their last hash in CR for a while. England calls.

Nearly clear blue skies, 30oC in the shade, low humidity - what trials we Hashers have to face here. Even the air quality was very good for the time of year. This month’s Hash was to take us through a varied landscape of some little foothills, around a few well watered paddies, shady linchee and lamyai orchards and dry dyptocarp forest.

Pulling up anchor

At 15.45 hours, with only a cursory warning of ‘don’t go over the rickety bridge’ and not even a ‘head to starboard’ from the Hare’s briefing, we were cast adrift from our moorings. “Badman and Bobbin” en famille joining us just as we got underway.

The FRBs steamed full ahead before we crested the first hill, leaving not even a ripple in their wake to guide us. With no horizon at times and sextant and compass adrift, we had to rely on jetsam to chart our course. Luckily, our ship’s motley crew proved able seamen with Sally, Chris, three of the virgin Hashers, Bruce in his guise as Cabin boy all taking turns at the helm and steering us ‘steady as she goes’.

We listed to the left, and then we listed to the right, struggling to keep up a fair rate of knots and our balance. The Hash flotilla descended into the troughs and chugged up the other side like worn –out Clydebank puffers, overburdened and underpowered.

“Titanic”, (on convoy escort duty), greeted us with “Come, on you lazy land-lubbers ‘ as we topped one hill. This nearly resulted in him being holed and then marooned on the nearest “Iceberg”. Though the voyage was easy, the temperature was tiring but with two young Ship’s Doctors taken on board at Mae Sai, we were in safe hands.

We tacked through the fruit trees, occasionally got stuck in the Doldrums as we sought a route, then caught the hot breezes on the windward sides to carry us along. Fine vistas of hills, verdant rice fields were sighted along the way. The ‘rickety bridge’ didn’t tempt any of us –it was in far better condition than many we had traversed on previous Hashes. With land in sight, rascally Pirate “Ma’am a laid” commandeered a powered vessel to take her past the line ahead of us, but her plans came asunder when our crow’s nest let out an ‘ahoy’ and she was made to disembark. Next time we won’t be so forgiving – the plank awaits.

“On Fire” cruised into harbour first, then some swashbucklers. Most of us had been anchored up for some time before the last Hasher washed up. The log reports voyage duration of I hour and five minutes for the main flotilla, no castaways or men overboard , and that only a few sailors such as “The Lost Samurai”, ”Nok easy “and the lost boys of Namron had been sucked into that Bermuda triangle of CR Hashes -‘ the short cut’.

“Odd job” made land some time after me for once, having had to veer off course to avoid a 3metre long dark sea snake (that turned out to be black electric cabling being wound up and pulled through the undergrowth by two local farmers.) He - very sensibly - refrained from letting out a cry of “Avast behind’ on seeing me.

In port, victuals were manhandled from the hold of Iceberg’s vessel. Provisions of ale, fruit to stave off the scurvy and fruitcake for added ballast made up some of the delicious fare.

The Circle.

G.M “Handcock” led the circle.

· Loud applause and thanks to the Hares for a ‘great’ Hash – and food -, even Namron couldn’t find fault. “Shocking” presented them with their complementary T-shirts with NEW DESIGN hare badges.

· “Shocking “also broke his duck of the year and sold 2 other T-shirts and two Chiang Rai Hash S2ATO (Start slowly and Taper off)badges.

· Four Virgins were called into the Circle. Lovely to meet you all, and good luck to the 3 younger ones in your careers. To our fit but more venerable fourth hasher, I’ll just say “welcome” and that we hope you come along again.

· The Hashers who had taken the ‘short cut’ were named and shamed. The Lost Samurai living up to his name on this occasion.

· We now have a first aid box to deal with minor injuries. Hash Beer will bring it along each month with the drinks.

· Some debate was had about the suggestion of changing our next Hash date to accommodate Chiang Mai Hashers joining us for a weekend of Hashes. Our ‘normal’ Saturday Hash, a Sunday hash, and a ‘Male’ Hash for the rufty tuftys on the Monday. We would be welcome to join the Sunday and Monday (Mon =Men only) ones if we wanted. It was eventually agreed to leave our March date/Hash unchanged and see what develops. Namron and Able Semen were going to assist in setting any trails. Chiang Rai Hash is not a “normal hash” - we are very family orientated, soda drinkers outnumber the beer drinkers every time and we wouldn’t even need a ‘parental guidance’ certificate if we were a film. Viva la difference!

· G.M “Handcock “ told us about the next Bike hash to be held on the first Sunday of March - a descent of Doi Tung (repeat ‘DESCENT’) is promised. He will send out more information nearer the time.

· Namron had to be bodily removed from the Circle by Sperm bank after getting too enthusiastic about acquiring volunteers to become hares. Two sets of hashers had been pinned by Namron’s gimlet stare, but the rest managed to escape due to the intervention. Being a Hare is good fun, nothing to be scared of, and we are grateful for everyone who volunteers. The more experienced hashers are keen to lend a hand and advice to any Virgin Hares.

· The circle closed on another good afternoon of conversation and exercise.

Hares for the following months are:

March – Shocking, Pea, and Dirty Dancer

April – Able Semen

May –

June -

July – Ma’am a laid and Soreyarsis

August –

Sept -

October – Fired up and On Fire

November – Oddjob and Ooh Matron

December –

January 2012 – Cop out.

ON ON, Ooh matron and Oddjob.

Photographic evidence of this month’s Hash can be found at:


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Directions To Chaingrai HHH No 90

Saturday March 19th Start 4-00pm Prompt

Take Super Highway south from town. Proceed as far as the traffic lights at the

White Temple turning.10 metres beyond the lights there is a small soi leading

off to the left. Take this road but it is quite difficult to spot (there will be

a Hash sign here). After 900 metres the road bears sharply right; follow main

road round to right. After 200 metres, main road bears sharply left. Again

follow it to left.Take care here because there is a road which goes straight on.

After about 1.5 kilometres, there is a village. 300 metres beyond village, there

are two dirt roads leading off to the left and these are seperated by a canal.

Turn left on to the second of these roads (there will be another Hash sign

here). Follow this dirt road. After 150 metres, road turns right, and after

another 300 metres turns left (another Hash sign). Proceed for 800 metres to

Hash Meeting point. Count on 30 minutes drive from the Big C.

Ah Be Jesus

St Patricks day Thai time Hash (Its only two days late) will take place on

Saturday 19th March,start 4pm prompt.

We are extending last years "Leprechauns go Half Price offer" again


Shocking & Dirty Dancer

On On

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