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Chiang Rai ‘Start slowly and taper off’ HashMarch 19th 2011 No. 90

Trail set by Dirty Dancer and Shocking (based on an idea from Able Seaman)

At the briefing Shocking revealed that the trail contained a few checkpoints, some of which were tricky and would leave us running around like headless chickens. The consensus amongst the hashers was, “heard it all before and a piece of cake”. However ten minutes later at the first checkpoint we were proved wrong. There were hashers searching to the left, hashers searching to the right and even some going round in circles. The more experienced just stood and admired anything (birds, trees, pebbles and even weeds) whilst we waited for the hares to arrive and to give guidance. Shocking arrived, shrugged his shoulders and proudly pointing to a rough track announced “You will find paper within 50 metres in that direction”. (I found it at 52.5 metres.) We were then reminded of the rules and thoroughly chastised we went on our way.

The trail led us through a mixture of woodlands, arable plots and of course paddy fields. At one point we came across a stream that had to be crossed by way of a rickety bridge. An evil person suggested that if we were to weaken the structure a bit and then hide, we could watch the hares get an early bath. We decided that this was too risky as a wet hare might go home taking the food and drinks with them.

After about an hour of following paper I looked ahead and saw a shady figure lurking in the undergrowth. Was it Bigfoot or even a lost Yeti? No, it was Shocking anxiously awaiting our safe return. The first runner in was Belly dancer, a visitor from Chiang Mai who was closely followed half an hour later by the usual Chiang Rai super athletes.

Even before the return of the last hasher the food hamper, generously supplied by Pat On The Back, had been broken into. We followed the Saint Trinian’s battle cry “trample on the weakest and glory in their plight”. Chicken, spring rolls, sweetcorn followed by mango and sticky rice to good to wait for.

The circle.

Shocking stepped forward into the GM’s slot.

The hares and supporters were thanked for a wonderful time.

Hares are always in short supply and it was a great surprise when Sven spontaneously volunteered to set the trail in May. There are only a few vacant slots available this year so people need to act quickly.

It was announced that Scotch on the rocks was departing to the warmer weather of Arran for four months by a saddened GM, who then went on to add that an excellent house and pickup were available for a short let.

A tee shirt was sold to Another (Chiang Mai visitor) who was ordered to partake in a downer after she passed comment on the tailored fit of the GM’s tee shirt.

The April hash will be held near Don’s restaurant, where an on on on will be held in the form of a buffet. More details to follow.

On on

Oddjob (substitute scribe)

Photographic evidence of this month’s Hash can be found at:


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Directions to the Songran Hash (no 91) Saturday 16th April Start 4-00 pm prompt


The April Chiang Rai Hash is timed to start at 4 pm on the 16th. It is relatively flat and all on tracks to take account of the hot, or the wet, weather!

Starting from the Shell garage at the top of the Old Chiang Mai Road (Highway numbered 1211) in Chiang Rai, proceed south until you reach the second set of traffic lights, after about 1.5 kms. Turn right here. Carry on along this road until you reach Don's Cafe on the left side of the road. I do not know how far this is, but it is probably more than 5 kms.

(If approaching from south of CR, turn left at the first set of lights after the 1211 six lane stretch).

At Don's Cafe, there is a slip road to the left. There will be a HHH sign here. Take this slip road and continue for about 400 metres. You will then see a sign pointing to the left to a temple. This sign incorporates a white statue of Buddha carrying a parasol. Turn left here. There will be another HHH sign. (By the way, there are a few other white Buddha statues along this road so do not be confused by them). Continue for a further 300 metres. On the right, you will see a temple. Facing you another white Buddha statue! To the left, there is a turning which will be marked with a HHH sign. Turn left. Proceed for 100 metres and take the first turning to the right. Continue until you reach the meeting point.

My telephone number is 083 762 3267 in case of problems.

I am trying to organise an On on on at Don's cafe but this is not yet a done deal. Do not put out your cooking fires therefore!

On on.

Hare of the month

Able Semen.

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Chaingrai (families Welcome) HHH

Songkran Hash Report no 91 April16th

Otherwise known as the French Revolution

Location, vicinity of the very scenic Doi Hang nr Dons Cafe

Due to a Technical hitch, i offer my humble contribution

There was a good turnout for the normally quiet Songkran hash attendance, this year we missed

Wild Womans welcoming sprinkle of water as we arrived.

Allo Allo was in the HOT seat as GM, and after one or two choice words (to say the least) we were handed over to our hare

for the day Able Semen. With arms outstretched he advised the hashers to be on the look out for the BIGGEST Eagle he had ever seen when setting the trail that morning,also he had come across a herd of cattle but reassured us they would have finished grazing, he concluded by saying there was a long trail of about 7 km and a shorter trail of 5k

The pack set off,the FRBS quickly opened up a gap over the rest of the field,yours truly who reluctantly stays at the back of the pack making sure we did not lose anyone,having to look down at the floor for paper and to look skywards for this biggest eagle ever seen, imagining that this eagle would come swooping down at any minute and knowing my luck make a

B line for me and carry me off by the scruff of the neck with the Eagle saying to its self "the size of this fella,he will keep the kids fed for a fortnight"

At the half way stage i was confronted by, Dirty Dancer, Sperm Bank with the Powder Puff girls and Namron feeding Wild Bill through a water bagpack, with Bushwacker making a welcome return, i was told in no uncertain terms that i had taken a short cut and was now in the middle of the pack. "would i do that"

MEANWHILE at the finish line and with the FRBS near to home and our brave Hare convinced that the beer stocks were in Titanics pickup, he tried in vain to pick the lock with no success, he once again set off on the trail to retrieve the key off Titanic only to be told by Do it Yourself that he had the beer stocks in his pickup and did not need a key to open.

The first home was Paddy Boy,he had ran the long course then got mixed up and ran the shorter course twice and still arrived back in 55minutes,

Allo Allo trailed in 2nd followed by Belly Dancer from the Chiang Mai Hash,Belly Dancer was seen walking at one stage by the hare but after crossing the hares hand with money his secret is safe from the Chaing Mai FRBS.

MEANWHILE your truly having crossed over the only obstacle on the trail a small ditch and now only to cross one more field and then home and beer,

at this stage we came across a marauading herd of cattle,yours truly bravely tried to direct the hashers to safety but when the hashers went to the left the herd followed, when the hashers went to the right the herd followed, the herd carer who looked as if he had been on a 2 day bender was neither use nor ornament

HOLY COW i looked down only to find i have red trousers on, i looked up only to find this enormous bull staring me in the eye,i bravely beckoned the other hashers to safety then looked this enormous bull in the eye and ready to cross swords with this animal.

And if you believe that BS

I ran like hell across the field as fast as my legs would carry me

The Circle

The Gm called in the hare Able Semen and thanked him for a sterling effort setting the trail,we welcomed one virgin fired ups niece (nice girl) she also became a member of our "Theres one born every minute club by buying a hash shirt.

There was no 3 hash names to be given and we attempted to have a June Hare volunteer,the only name that was thrown in the ring was brain health who now confirms himself as the June hare,the trail will start from his house in Huay Sac off the 1020 rd .

The ever jovial Paddy boy finished the circle with a 5 minute stint by kneeling and trying to drink a downer with no hands.


Took us to Dons Cafe,the food served of BQ ribs Steak, chicken, Pizza etc finished off with ice cream was superb

We would like to thank Able Semen for organising the event and Dons Cafe for their service

On On

Shocking with help from Able Semen

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Directions to May Hash (no 92) Saturday 21st of May 2011 Start 4.00 pm prompt


Starting from Big C (or Robinson if you prefer that) going south on Superhighway no 1 at first trafficlight turn left towards Toeng on road 1020. Be aware of the roadwork so keep far on the left side 100 m before trafficlight else you have to go straight towards BKK, cannot turn at the trafficlight!.

Go on 1020 and at milestone no 9 (just outside the restarea) you slow down and after another 300 m turn left (just 5 m before a shitfactory, thai word for recyclingplace.) I will put up a HHH-sign there.

After 200 m, park the car where there might be a HHH-sign.

The Hash will be a normal Chiang Rai style Family Hash and just normal Front Running Bastards. There will be a circle, everyone wear Hash-shirts and of course all swearing in the circle is banned! If someone break that rule he will have a doubble kneestanding down-down!

So everyone are welcome and I hope that everyone will come!

On on.

Hares of the month

"Do it yourself" and "Do it Better"

(yes, she will be there this time ! )


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Directions to May Hash (no 92) Saturday 21st of May 2011 Start 4.00 pm prompt


Some extra information.

For the hashers that want to have a meal after the Hash I can reccomend The Ostrich Farm that is only 1.3 km from the Circle on the way back to Chiang Rai.

We were there tonight for dinner and they have mostly thai dishes but also Hamburgers, Porkburgers and Ostrichburgers.

They also have 6 different small buffetsets for 5-6 people with prices between 167 to 197 baht per person.

There are many different animals, they have a western village with a Casino and for the more adventures hashers they have Ostrich-riding! I think I saw some horses there too!

And some very good shopping so there is something for everyone!

On On


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Some more info connected to the Hash coming Saturday (2011-05-21):

Are you brave enough to ride an ostrich? It starts off easily enough. You put on a

helmet and mount a platform where a hooded bird is waiting. Climb on its back and

slide your legs under its wings and hold on tight. Then the attendant removes the hood

and the bird begins to buck. It’s like the bucking bronco rodeo. After some 20 seconds

of sheer terror it unexpectedly stops. Nothing you can do will prod the ostrich to do

anything. Then without warning it starts tearing around the courtyard at high speed.

For this pleasure you pay only 100 Baht. You can ride for as long as you like but five

minutes is an eternity on a bird like that.

Children and the more sedate are advised to ride a horse around the compound. A

fifteen minute ride costs 100 Baht. Experienced riders can take the animal into the

surrounding fields for 300 Baht per hour.

The gentlest option is to take a round in a horse drawn “stagecoach.” Up to five

people can squeeze in for 150 Baht.

All this plus a shooting arcade in “Cowboy City” makes Wana Farms on the

Chiangrai – Thoerng (1020) Highway a very popular stop for the young at heart

It’s a great place to organize a party. The restaurant will produce anything you want

but ostrich dishes are its specialty. There is a campfire and musicians can be hired to

play the banjo and guitar as well as sing popular cowboy songs.

It is open seven days a week, 8:30 am to 9 pm. Want to stay overnight? Hire a tent

for 220 Baht per person or sleep in a bamboo hut (for two) for 550 Baht including

breakfast. There is also a gift shop featuring unique handicrafts made from ostrich

hides and eggs.

Khun Wana aims to expand his farm into a fun-filled agriculture education resort

covering his 24 rai plot where he will grow a mixture of organic products.

Contact Khun Wana at 089 635 7233 or drop in anytime.

This is the 3rd info about the coming Chiang Rai Hash for May!


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As someone who tolerates or endures the "Circle" out of respect for tradition and those who enjoy it, I hope last months "over enthusiam?" can be put in the past and I see you again.:jap:

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As someone who tolerates or endures the "Circle" out of respect for tradition and those who enjoy it, I hope last months "over enthusiasm?" can be put in the past and I see you again.:jap:

I don’t know Scorp, seems to me your best play is to head straight for the car after the walk, even the reported debacle of last month is not repeated. :)

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As someone who tolerates or endures the "Circle" out of respect for tradition and those who enjoy it, I hope last months "over enthusiasm?" can be put in the past and I see you again.:jap:

I don't know Scorp, seems to me your best play is to head straight for the car after the walk, even if the reported debacle of last month is not repeated. :)

That is my back up plan.:jap:

Edited by scorpio1945
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I don’t know Scorp, seems to me your best play is to head straight for the car after the walk, even the reported debacle of last month is not repeated. :)

When we want the monkey.

We will rattle the nuts

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Hash House Harriers

The Chiangrai “Start slowly and taper off “ Hash

S2ATO the Family Friendly Hash

Founded 15 November 2003

Report of HHH Run# 92: Saturday, May 21, 2011

Location: Hua Doi area north of the Thoeng Road (1020) near km stone 9.

Hares: Do It Yourself assisted by Do It Better

Following the recent spate of emails discussing the nature of our group and the subsequent resignations of the GM, Hash Scribe and Hash Cash, there was considerable concern whether we would have a hash this month and if so whether anyone would show up for it. As it turned out such misgivings were misplaced. The durable Hash Beer, Do It yourself rose to the occasion and produced a fine trail with assistance of Do It Better, a motorcycle and Google Earth. Twenty seven hashers showed up including ten children.

At the word “Go,” Nam Ron aided and abetted by the other usual FRBs On Fire, Able Semen and Bushwacker, took off leaving his three boys, Buffalo Bill, Ranger and No Name in a cloud of dust. However to give credit where credit is due, he did provide the boys with poles tipped in red paint which would conveniently obscure the blood from any injuries they might incur.

The hash otherwise evolved in the usual manner. The second tier far behind the FRBs included Fired Up, Hard Wired, Special Needs, Special Services, and your faithful correspondent. The abandoned boys came next not much ahead of the four Powder Puffs. Shocking was conspicuous as ever in the middle along with Sperm Bank and the Lost Samurai in the middle. Not far behind came the ladies headed by Wild Woman, Pat on the Back and Nok Easy whose constant chatter made them easy to monitor. They had been forewarned by the hare that there was a fragile bamboo bridge to cross and everyone was eager to get over it before Shocking arrived.

Back in the circle, Shocking amply filled the place of the absent GM. He began by appointing yours truly and Able Semen, scribe and deputy to the vacant office. He himself took over the Hash Cash’s job with Fired Up deputizing. So now the Mismanagement Committtee under the awesome leadership of the most popular GM ever, consists of Nam Ron, head of trails, the Hash Beer Do It Yourself, the Hash Scribes myself and Able Semen plus the new Hash Cashes Shocking and Fired Up.

In the absence of any virgins or new members to name and with the threat of double kneestanding down down punishment for anyone who swears, hashers soon discovered that there was nothing to do in the circle. So it soon broke up. Sperm Bank reported that his four Powder Puffs complained that this was the most boring circle ever.

Wirgin Bluce

Newly reappointed Hash Scribe

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