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Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Saturday 15th September 2012

Run No 107 Start 4pm prompt

Directions

Head south past the Big C,at the first set of traffic lights(opp Little duck hotel ) turn left

onto the 1020 road,travel this road for 500 metres then turn left at the HHH sign, aprox 1k

You will come to a sharp right hand bend,park up 300 metres after this bend HHH sign.

Allow 5 minutes from Big C, FRBS 4minutes.

Hares, Pat on the back,Flying Dutchman, Shocking.

Hurricanes/Tsunamis

At this time of the year are storm tracking duo of Wirgin Bluce and Titanic will be on 24 hour alert,

they will monitor any Hurricanes or Tsunamis within a radius of 2,000 kilometres,if they give the red light we will then put plan B into motion.

PLAN B

We will use are all weather hash trail,we will hash twice around the BigC carpark (undercover of course)

then over the bridge to the Central Plaza car park,once around the car park straight through Tops,Robinsons and of course Mcdonalds.

The long trail will take the FRBS up and down ten flights of stairs in the Little Duck hotel.

BE WARNED

Any hasher seen riding the escalator or stepping into a lift, will be punished by drinking a double downer while

standing on their head (as Bottoms up does this every hash anyway, she will be made to sing the stars and stripes as well)

The Circle

Will take place in the maternity ward of Sriburin hospital were the virgins will be toasted

On On

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We have now received the green light from our resident storm watchers Wirgin Bluce and Titanic.

Tomorrows hash is On On On

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Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 107

Founded November 2003

Location: Mockingham Palace, Behind Big C

Hares: G.M. Shocking, Pat on the Back and Flying Dutchman

The skies had poured rain all week but as our very own infalible meteorologist Thaitanic predicted (or precipitated) the skies cleared, the sun emerged and the rains ceased just in time to create yet another “family friendly” hash. This time however there were no children to make a family. Of the twenty-four hashers present, the women outnumbered the men 14 to ten.

There was no need then for the Plan B which would lead the team through the Central Plaza underground parking, up the Little Duck stairs and into the Sriburin maternity ward. However time and weather was not sufficient to dry the route so the hares offered two options: (1) for the foolish, a walk through 100 meters of mud; and (2) for the sane, a shorter route avoiding it. The group then naturally split into two equal numbers, the first group being mainly FRBs while the latter had all the Thai women plus a few farangs like Hand Cock, Alan and your faithful correspondent who gallantly followed to keep the ladies from going astray.

Our perpetual G.M. used his hare-ship to achieve many firsts in the Chiangrai Hashing world. For example this was the first hash to propose two plans A and B. It was also the first time our family friendly group had hashed along a super highway. Thirdly it was the first time the sweep used a vehicle to shepherd lost hashers along the straight and narrow. Finally this hash set a new gold standard in environmental consciousness, reducing the use of paper to well below the minimum needed to clearly show the route. As a result the saner group got thoroughly confused and had to call upon the vehicle-bound sweep to show the way forward.

Our favourite G.M. hare informed the group that the trail would pass over two bamboo bridges. He claimed that he had personally tested these bridges so he could guarantee their safety. Wiser hashers now began to look doubtful wondering if the bridges had cracked or come loose under the formidable weight of the biggest G.M. in our family friendly history. Able Seaman was so worried that he chose to deviate from the papered trial in order to cross a different bridge and then created his own parallel trial in hopes of never having to cross water again.

As the trail wandered behind Sriburin Hospital, this truthful reporter began to worry that some misinformed hashers may have mistakenly opted for the abandoned Plan B. So always thinking of others, he took it upon himself to investigate the hospital’s sanitary facilities while the others raced madly ahead.

Finally back at Mockingham Palace, Pat on the Back put out a fine meal that fully compensated the forlorn for her husband’s excesses. It was also in celebration of her birthday which the charming G.M. pointed out is no special deal in their household as everyday is like a birthday since the day she married him. Delicious odors from the fine food must have drifted to the Dutch village for shortly thereafter Cop Out’s better half appeared.

Once the crowd had eaten and were less inclined to lynch him, the G.M. called the circle to order to toast himself and the two other hares for what he considered a job well done.

The first of the Snow Birds, notably Scotch on the Rocks and her better half, Allan plus long absent Do It Better were also toasted. This being Khun Joy’s third hash, the group deliberated on a name. Wild Woman testified to No Longer Virgin Joy’s bicycling speed but the crowd refused to honour her with the name “Fast Woman,” preferring “Dynamite in a Hole” as proposed by Do It Yourself who hinted at some inside knowledge. The G.M. knighted her accordingly using a nearby umbrella.

Nam Ron, the Beavers along with the Flying Dutchman and Bottoms Up among others ensured that the party went on into the night so long as any hash beer stock remained.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

Hash Secmodify_inline.gif

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Here are the directions to the October 2012 Chiang Rai SSATTO Family Friendly Hash, Run Number 108.

Date: Saturday 20th October 2012

Time: start at 3.30 pm so be at the meeting point no later than 3.15 pm

Directions:

Proceed south down the Old Chiang Mai Road until you reach Kilometre Stone 18. Please note that 18 is the number facing the road and not the number facing you as you approach the stone. Also please note that the number 18 has faded so watch out for stone 17. 18 is the next one along!

0.75 kms after the stone, there is a turning to the left. It is immediately after a school, also on the left side of the road. Turn left here. There will be a Hash sign on the corner.

After 100 metres turn right. You will see another Hash sign here.

Go down this road for 4.15 kms until you reach a x roads. Turn right here - another helpful hash sign! (Note that the road to the x road takes a sharp rt turn after 1.2 kms. At this point, there is a minor road which goes straight ahead. Keep to the main road and follow it round to the right and continue to the x road).

After turning right at the x road, go on for another 0.55 kms and you will see the meeting point on the right.

Brief Descriptions:

There will be a short and a longer run of +/- 6 and 9 kms respectively. Given the rain during the early part of the month, I thought it wise to opt for a flat trail, with no natural nor man made hazards - but it does have some tricky checks!

On on. Able Semen

cleardot.gif

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Chiangrai Family Friendly Hash report Run No 108

Saturday 20th October 2012

The usual suspects met up off the old Chiangmai highway for our latest hash.

Unusually Wirgin Bluce was not present,and will therefore not be able to offer helpful editing tips for the improvement of this report,however he did email the scribe a list of the attendees,from which the scribe is able to report that the attendance consisted of 16 hashers and 2 children

(not married to any of the hashers)

Wirgin Bluce"s statistics even divulged which of the hashers sprung for beer as opposed to the soft drinks option,and upon close analysis it becomes clear that the Chiangrai hash is indeed very family- friendly,to the extent possibly, of running counter to the worldwide hashing creed.

Hmmm.The hash was ably hared by Able semen,who was able to lay a very series of checks etc,to the extent that at one point he was able to trick two groups of hashers into encountering each other going in opposite directions on the same path.

The trail was in fact so confusing that Able Semen wisely decided to drive around it on his scooter in order to offer assistance to lost hashers.

Somehow, as always,everyone made it back safely and the circle began.There was a newcomer from the UK,and Shocking,scenting weakness,

managed to rapidly sell him a t-shirt.Mercilessly,on a roll,he tried to sell him a second one.

There was also a naming ceremony for a third time hasher who will henceforth walk the earth rejoicing in the name Lone Walker.He is from

Liverpool, like Shocking,and his hash name is some kind of an in-joke from Liverpool.Shocking and Lone Walker then continued for some time with their in-jokes from Liverpool,unfortunately this was over the head of the scribe and therefore cannot be transcribed.

There was a brief business of-of-the-day debate about whether the forthcoming 111th Chiangrai hash should be a special occasion,during which it was democratically decided by Shocking that it should not be.

Comes Twice

Pro bono and pro tempore scribe for 1 more month

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chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 109

9th Anniversary Hash, Saturday 17th November 2012 Start 3-30pm

Founded 15th November 2003

The 9th Chiang Rai anniversary hash will be on November 17th. The location will be the forest park just past the police check point south of Mae Chan as you are driving north. Since it is our anniversary hash Namron has decided to do something special and has arranged an outstation at Chang Garden in Mae Chan. The cost per person to stay the night will be 350 baht with American breakfast and 300 baht if Thai breakfast. There will also be an on-on dinner at the resort and the price will be at most 200 baht per head (depending on the menu we choose.) Please contact SOAP as soon as possible by PM and let him know if you are interested in the dinner and spending the night or just the dinner. Chang Garden does have a swimming pool so bring your swimming suit whether you plan to stay or not. The hash will start from Chang Garden at 3:30. Drive to Mae Chan, turn right at the light after Tesco and drive about 2.5 km down the road and look for HHH signs on the right.

Since it gets dark at 6 pm and much of the hash will be in the forest, if you think there is a chance you will need longer than 2.5 hours to do 7-8 km, bring a flashlight. Finally, during scouting we found that although the trails are there, it is at the end of rainy season so some sections have some bush. Therefore long pants or gators are probably a good idea.

On On

NR

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Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 109

9th Anniversary Hash, Saturday 17th November 2012 Start 3-30pm

Founded 15th November 2003

For some reason i cant copy from a email and paste here without it being to small to read.

will sort it out and post again

Edited by soap

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Let me try again.

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 109

9th Anniversary Hash, Saturday 17th November 2012 Start 3-30pm

Founded 15th November 2003

The 9th Chiang Rai anniversary hash will be on November 17th. The location will be the forest park just past the police check point south of Mae Chan as you are driving north. Since it is our anniversary hash Namron has decided to do something special and has arranged an outstation at Chang Garden in Mae Chan. The cost per person to stay the night will be 350 baht with American breakfast and 300 baht if Thai breakfast. There will also be an on-on dinner at the resort and the price will be at most 200 baht per head (depending on the menu we choose.) Please contact SOAP as soon as possible by PM and let him know if you are interested in the dinner and spending the night or just the dinner. Chang Garden does have a swimming pool so bring your swimming suit whether you plan to stay or not. The hash will start from Chang Garden at 3:30. Drive to Mae Chan, turn right at the light after Tesco and drive about 2.5 km down the road and look for HHH signs on the right.

Since it gets dark at 6 pm and much of the hash will be in the forest, if you think there is a chance you will need longer than 2.5 hours to do 7-8 km, bring a flashlight. Finally, during scouting we found that although the trails are there, it is at the end of rainy season so some sections have some bush. Therefore long pants or gators are probably a good idea.

On On

NR

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The anniversary hash is in 5 days so please rsvp Namron - <email removed> as soon as possible if you haven't already so that Chang Garden can get an accurate head count for dinner and rooms.

The hash is an A to B, approx. 8 km. There are a few rolling hills but nothing overly strenuous. Again, a couple sections with thorns will be your biggest challenge but that can be overcome with long pants. However for hashers who don't aspire to complete the whole 8 km, there are numerous places where you can bail out after 4 km.

For those who can make it to the half-way point within a leisurely hour and continue to the end, you will be on schedule to be treated to a spectacular sunset on the second half of the hash and get to the resort just as the last light fades to darkness. Namron has worked hard to set a beautiful hash that takes you into the forest, past lakes, as well along rolling hills with views of the mountains - all in virgin territory so why not take advantage of this chance to see a new place in Chiang Rai, somewhere you would have never gone to otherwise?

So far we have confirmation from the following hashers:

Mile High - B

SoreAss and Marmalaid - B

Shocking + 2 - C

Wirgin Bluce - C

Namron + 3 kids - C

Able Semen + 1 - C

Flying Dutchman - C

A = just the hash

B = hash and dinner

C = hash, dinner and stay

Still waiting to hear from the Beaver crew, Do It Yourself, Lost Samurai, Titanic, HandCock and the rest of the regulars.

Edited by onthedarkside
email address removed as per forum rules

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chiangrai Family Friendly HHH report No 109

9th Anniversary Hash,Founded November 2003

An excited band got together on November 17th for the Chiang Rai 9th anniversary hash. One of the great things about being a hasher is that every other month almost there’s something to celebrate! To mark this Special Occasion it had been decided to go outstation with the added incentives of a follow on dinner, pool and option of overnight stay at the Chiang Garden hotel in Mae Chan.

Anticipation of a Very Special Hash had been further stoked by talk of bringing flashlights and the need for protective clothing.

Certainly many of the members seemed much more equipped and outfitted than usual. Some of them looked like they were wearing parts of their ski gear.

Lone Walker (otherwise known as Long and Hard) was even carrying a back pack large enough to cater for an overnighter in the forest as opposed to the hotel, which was just as well as we shall see, but perhaps his original intention had been simply to put in some practise for his Camino de Santiago plan.

At the pre-hash briefing excitement was skilfully manipulated almost to fever-pitch by the hare Nam Ron who illustrated the new and more refined types of trail markers, which included rope as well as paper! Where will it all end?

Inevitably, after such a build-up, the stage was set for disappointment, and the hash itself seemed relatively similar to all the other hashes.

But one must not speak too soon: the situation was in fact saved at the end of the day (literally) when it became clear that there were indeed 3 hashers who had not make it back by nightfall, and were still nowhere to be seen 1 hour after everyone else including the 9-year olds had made it back.

One of them was Lone Walker (Long and Hard), but we are confident this experience will stand him in good stead for his 478 km walk in Spain. We really do wish him the best of luck in his endeavour. The other M.I.A’s were a first-time hasher couple on vacation in Chiang Rai. We hope they did not become separated from each other in addition to becoming separated from the group since the wife spoke only French with a strong Quebec accent.

It was remarked upon to the scribe that on this hash he (the scribe) was among the FRB’s, a highly unusual event. The uncharacteristic enthusiasm may have stemmed subconsciously from his exuberance in the knowledge that following the hash would be the AGM during which positions are reallocated to “volunteers” and that this was therefore his last time being a scribe.

Given that the largest demographic in the hashes after retirees seems to be English teachers it should be no problem to find an excellent replacement.

As the scribe left the Circle early (after obtaining confirmation that all the positions were going to be reallocated), he is unable to report on the dinner itself and whether or not there were any drunken brawls like at the last outstation and will have to leave any additional reporting to the ever-present, dependable and diplomatic Wirgin Bluce.

Comes Twice

PS The circle concluded with an election of new officers on the Mismanagement Committee. Shocking was finally kicked out as GM after 4 years unforgetable service and replaced by Able Semen. Shocking will remain a huge presence in our group as Sex Advisor. Nam Ron successfully campaigned for the post of Hash Scribe which entitles him to the last say on every subject through the medium of the written word. Fired Up hangs on to the money as Hash Cash but the relatively sober Wirgin Bluce spends as much as he can as Hash Beer. Long departed founding member Square Rooter returns spasmodically as Religious Advisor.

Thirty eight people showed up for the hash, ten of whom were virgins. Four of these virgins teach at Mae Fah Luang University and threatened to come back again with their friends. So be prepared.

Next month will be the Christmas hash to be held at the Wirgin Bluce/Wild Woman house. As WW will be putting on a dinner it is important that people who intend to come let us know in advance. There will also be the usual anonymous gift exchange where no gift exceeds 200 Baht in value. Parents can bring gifts for their kids of any value. More about this later.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

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Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run no 110

Saturday December 15th Start 3-30 prompt

Christmas Hash

Hi all

The Christmas hash will be held on Saturday, December 15 as previously announced. We plan to start running (walking) around 3:30 pm so everyone is back before sundown so please be sure to get here before then.

The hash will begin and end at the Wild Woman/Wirgin Bluce house in the Santiburi golf course complex. To get there from the Big C drive south along the Super Highway and then turn left at the first traffic lights. Go along that highway 1020 for six kilometers and then turn left at the t-junction of the first set traffic lights. Go 2 kilometers along this road and then turn into the golf complex on your right. It is impossible to miss. Once in the complex you will immediately come to a t-junction where you turn right (HHH sign). This puts you on a ring road which goes all the way around the complex. Go 2 km along this road, never turning left and then you will see a lake on your left hand side. The Wild Woman house is a two story structure on the shore of this lake exactly two kilometers from the t-junction (HHH sign).

As this is a Christmas party we invite people to bring wrapped presents for a gift exchange. The gifts should not exceed 200 Baht in value. Parents can bring presents of any value for their own child marked with that child's name for distribution by Santa Claus. Yes, Santa Claus has promised to visit at the appropriate moment but the rest is still a mystery.

Wild Woman has promised to put on a dinner. As some people have commented in the past that they do not like to eat turkey twice in a week, turkey will not be on the menu.

. Wild Woman is putting on this HHH dinner at no cost to you beyond the usual fees (i.e. 50 non drinkers; 150 Baht beer drinkers) but in order to organize the food efficiently we need to know who is coming. please PM Soap as soon as you know for certain if you plan to come.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

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Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH

Christmas Hash December 15th 2012

Would just like to thank the Christmas hash hares Pe Daeng (wild woman) and Bruce (wirgin bluce)

for their hospitality given freely to the 60 hashers that attended yesterdays hash at Santiburi golf complex.

Our normal menu of a packet of crisps was replaced by Turkey, Salmon,Spare ribs,

delicious home made pavlova, and currant cake etc etc.

Even Father Christmas commented," it was the best start to his Christmas he could have had"

Thank you

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Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH run No 110

Christmas Hash Report

The 2012 Chiang Rai Family Friendly Christmas Hash, held at the royal golf estate of Wirgin Bluce (WB) and Wild Woman (WW), turned out to be the gala event of the year. Recognizing real value for money, approximately sixty people showed up to feast upon grilled salmon, turkey, sate’, deserts, other delicacies, stuffing themselves with fine food and high quality beer for a meager 150 baht. Many of the attendees were not regular hashers but were willing to endure the long walk for the bounties at the end. The mix of attendees included all ages, from young children up to retirees with a large group of 20 something teachers and 50 something retirees.

The trail was a 7 km trek, mainly on dirt roads, through the bowels of Santiburi Golf Course’s overgrown, underdeveloped, outlying lands. Most of the veterans anticipated that the trail wouldn’t be as much of a hash as a re-hash of one of WB past trails. True to form, the first false trail caught the young gun teachers off-guard but the old veterans knew better than to follow the trail out onto the 16th hole. Even though Cop Out and Scotch on the Rocks have spent much searching for their miss-hit balls in this area of Santiburi, their familiarity of the terrain was not enough of an advantage to get them to the front of the pack. WB’s next checks turned out especially devious, luring the veterans up false trails used on previous hashes. Their leg-up of assumed familiarity was quickly neutralized and even proved to be a disadvantage . The dirt trails finally exited out on paved road at about the half-way point, close to Naan Luang, the large lake on the east side of Santiburi. By the time the FRB’s assembled on the pavement, there were at least 8 vying for the lead including dam_n Beaver, Bottom’s Up, Oral Blaster, Able Semen, Namron, and three others who have yet to earn hash names – Katie, Alex and Devin. (As an aside, Katie a young American teacher, failed to notice an untied shoelace in time and one miss-step sent her crashing into the loose gravel, embedding small stones and dirt under her skin and cutting her knee. Showing true grit, she got herself off the ground and continued to run with the FRBs without as much as a whimper, even though she had a steady stream of blood trickling down her leg. Remember this since she will gets a hash name next month!) WB took everyone back towards the golf course on a long stretch of dirt road and then set numerous checks that brought all the FRBs back together again and again except for Bottoms Up and Devin who managed to lose the FRBs as well as the trail. Able Semen proved he is a very able indeed and was able to penetrate even the most devious checks, the ones that confused the younger and more virile FRB’s, and was the first to impregnate the on-on party with his presence. He also proved to be very wily by ensuring that he had at least a 400 m. advantage before calling “on-on.” Excellent hash behavior indeed! The walkers had their fair share of adventures too. Curly Beaver whose parents had flown in from the American version of City of Angels just for the hash were enjoying the trail until Curly Beaver decided it was time to start running – in the wrong direction! Blindly following, CB’s parents and all the other walkers took the same wrong turn, went right through an X and were heading towards Wieng Chai until WB realized that ¾ of his guests weren’t going to show up at the party unless he took drastic action. So he mobilized a rescue squad by commandeering Santa’s sleigh (conveniently parked on his roof) to set the errant hashers in the right direction. Luckily Rudolph’s red nose was able to cut through the fog and save the day.

The circle turned out to be one of the shortest circles in hash history as the newly elected GM Able Semen was only able to give 3 splashes – one for the hares, one for the cooks and one for the virgins – before the temptation of getting a present from Santa proved too much and the circle was quickly closed. (However Shocking did use his brief circle time to ‘flog a dead horse” to everyone’s amusement.)

Behind the scenes there was some confusion as to who would play the role of Santa for the gift exchange (since the real Santa was away trying to find his stolen sleigh.) Assuming that the slight Namron would make an appropriate Santa, Shocking and Wirgin Bluce pointed him to the red suit and Wild Woman even offered her personal pillow as a stomach stuffer. However since Namron was stone sober and there were no vixen elves in sight, he used his FRB skills and quickly made himself scarce. The ever astute Wirgin Bluce had already recognized that this situation might occur and had three other potential Santas lined up including Do It Yourself, Sore Ass I Has and Special Needs but these veteran hashers also knew what was in store and were able to extricate themselves from this potentially warm and uncomfortable situation. So after suitably lubricating the virgin hasher Walter with alcohol and promises of sugar plum fairies and leggy rein “dears”, WB finally found a victim. Santa entered the party to a big round of applause and assuming he was the guest of honor was completely unprepared to be affronted by the young boys No Name, Ranger Danger and Buffalo Bill who were OD’ing on the sugary sweets served by Wild Woman. They called Santa a fake and tried to pull off his beard to expose the fraud they were sure they were witnessing. Santa’s only weapon was the bag of presents in his grasp and the threats of not receiving a gift soon had the rowdy boys back in line. Curly Beaver also assisted by baiting the little terrors, having them play chase through the estate.

For the sake of brevity the scribe will end the report here but in conclusion WB and Wild Woman had a very successful hash, even though they never got to show off the Gangnam Style dance steps they had been practicing. And if you do see Santa’s lost sleigh please report it to the local authorities as soon as possible because Christmas is only 1 week away!

Scribed by: Namron

Edited by soap

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