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davetrout

dowery?

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l have been with my girl 4 years now. she want to marry. we have a baby boy 4 months old now. l love her very much. how much should l pay for marry her and give to parents. she stay home with family in isann.

god help me

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Been together for four years and already have a child? You are already married so no sin sot necessarily.

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If you pay nothing, as people are saying, then you are showing a complete disregard for your gf's and her parents feelings. Face is such a huge importance in Thailand and if you do not follow the old tradition of paying sinsot then they will lose face in their village or town.

My suggestion is to arrange with the family to pay an agreed amount (say 100,000) so they can display this on the day and then they return it afterwards. This system is often used and everyone is happy.

HL

Agree, by far the best option. You will be looked upon as a miser/cheapskate if you give nothing and her parents will feel belittled. By the way dowries are paid by the wife's family to the grooms for e.g in India. It is the opposite in Thailand and called Sin Sot. Good luck and enjoy the rituals.

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If you pay nothing, as people are saying, then you are showing a complete disregard for your gf's and her parents feelings. Face is such a huge importance in Thailand and if you do not follow the old tradition of paying sinsot then they will lose face in their village or town.

My suggestion is to arrange with the family to pay an agreed amount (say 100,000) so they can display this on the day and then they return it afterwards. This system is often used and everyone is happy.

HL

Agree, by far the best option. You will be looked upon as a miser/cheapskate if you give nothing and her parents will feel belittled. By the way dowries are paid by the wife's family to the grooms for e.g in India. It is the opposite in Thailand and called Sin Sot. Good luck and enjoy the rituals.

The trick is making sure it gets returned that is where they show respect to you.. if you don't get it back you know enough.

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How much you pay depends on a lot of things, but mainly on the girl you're marrying.

The weddings I've been to recently in the villages nearby, the sin sod has probably averaged around 300k. They were all girls marrying Thai guys, none from rich families, but all have university educations, no kids and no previous husbands/bfs (well at least not any that were of common knowledge).

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I put a million on the tray/bowl thingy and got it back after the ceremony.

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The trick is making sure it gets returned that is where they show respect to you.. if you don't get it back you know enough.

Well, I'll never get married so it isn't my concern. But I'd say losing US$3k in a sin sot ripoff would be a cheap enough way to get out of ever giving them anything else.

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It is up to you. If you do not pay dowry, you might be asked to pay for the cost of the wedding. By now you should be able to tell if not paying dowry could back fire you. Some parents want to show off to the neighbors how their daughter has a wealthy husband,

so they request big dowry. But I think dowry or not most parents want their daughter to be happy and marry a good, have a small, simple and normal wedding is good enough.

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I am recently married to a Thai wife after 6 years and get on well with the 'in-laws'. Instead of a 'dowry' and with the 'in-laws' agreement I decided to rebuild their house, so that my wife and I have a room inside for us to stay when we visit.

It is working out far cheaper than for us to purchase a house in the area.

Circumstances are different for every couple.

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The trick is making sure it gets returned that is where they show respect to you.. if you don't get it back you know enough.

Well, I'll never get married so it isn't my concern. But I'd say losing US$3k in a sin sot ripoff would be a cheap enough way to get out of ever giving them anything else.

That is for sure, 3k is not that much. But it was more the point, if someone says it will come back and it does not.. broken promises are never good.

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Sin sod is a thai tradition that every thai man and foreign man marring a thai lady must do. Even if you do not agree with it. Its all a matter of Face and respect for your in-laws and their traditions. When it came time for my brother in-law to get married the whole family came together to put it together. With that being said Sin Sod is usually negotiated between the 2 families with everybody in both families watching. Because you have no family to negotiate for you it is usually left up to the girlfriend to do on your behalf. Just try and remember how much you would end up spending in your own country to get married. Your girlfriend should by this time know what you can afford. Depending on what kind of parents she has, you should get most of the money back after the cost of the wedding. And if you don't then you have a real good idea of what kind of in-laws you have. I have seen the total cost vary but if you don't do it the whole village will know it. And they will look down on you and give you no respect.

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