How much is enough for the wife's monthly allowance?

[zierf1]

The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht a day... 300x30 is 9000 baht per month. A lot of Thai's with families are earning only that so if you are sending her 15000 a month to sit on her backside she is doing very well thanks very much.. TELL HER TO GET A JOB....

Well, I guess being a wife is her job. So I pay her. Seriously, how is any man going to get & keep a woman if he doesn't have any money?? I've tried to spot some homeless guys with women but no luck yet..

[lormakmak]

if I were the OP and there were no children of his own involved I would not send anything next month to test her reaction, turn off your phone-skype and don't answer any emails...

then come back and tell us what we already know

[FiftyTwo]

What sort of wimp needs to ask others, if he's giving his wife the right amount of money?

The OP doesn't live in Thailand, so he may not know the cost of living here.

My MIL can live happily in a village (in her own house) and with 3,500bht a month is considered quite wealthy.

How much OP gives her (as David pointed out),

Depends on where she lives, how young and pretty she is, and how old and ugly the OP is.

[FiftyTwo]

I never understand these posts..!! If you were married in your own country, would you keep all your wages and give your wife an allowance?

I budget a monthly escape fund, stashed in U.K (escape for both of us, in case the country really goes South) and the rest goes into our joint acc as do her wages...

Sounds to me like you are paying to say you are married to a Thai girl and not in a 'marriage' at all...

In the UK your wife can easily get a judge to redivide your home and wages, so a different matter entirely.

[FiftyTwo]

How do men find themselves in these ridiculous situations?

How does a man seriously get it into his head that he's gonna come to LOS, meet a girl, fall in love, tie the knot then go back to the West and send a stipend every month when he has no freakin' clue what she's doing with the money??

I mean, is it just the type of men Thailand attracts because I know I could paint this picture to any of 10 perfectly ordinary, straightforward guys back in London who would cut off their own choppers before putting themselves in this situation.

One more for HS,

And in the UK I know a hundred lonely, but not necessarily single, men who would happily send a young Thai girl far more money every month in the expectation and lifestyle fantasy of a young Thai girl to have sex with on every visit.

I also know loads of UK guys who had boats and holiday villas that cost them a fortune, but they never really had time to use them. It's all about expectation and fantasy, and maybe a little about boasting.

Edited February 13, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[reptile91602]

my wife has all of my money. She spends whatever the f she needs to spend to keep us going whether I am in the country or not. If you can't trust your wife then what the hell are you doing married. If it is just a casual girl friend don't give her anything. unless you are with her.

[larsjohnsson]

The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht a day... 300x30 is 9000 baht per month. A lot of Thai's with families are earning only that so if you are sending her 15000 a month to sit on her backside she is doing very well thanks very much.. TELL HER TO GET A JOB....

Well, I guess being a wife is her job. So I pay her. Seriously, how is any man going to get & keep a woman if he doesn't have any money?? I've tried to spot some homeless guys with women but no luck yet..

Having money is not the same thing as paying your wife a monthly salary to stay with you

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Kinnock]

Depends on which wife.

Mia Luang - cover costs of her Mercedes, beauty treatments, lunch appointments, business failures

Mia Noi - cover her costs for Mini Cooper, Swensens and shoe addiction

Gig - just give her dinner and a good seeing to once a week

[h90]

we have staff that get salary of 8000 Baht for light office work.....

[Sam Gold]

We do not know enough about the OPs position here, is he separated from his wife? If so, does he want to be with his wife? Is it the case that he does not want to be with his wife? Or maybe he does and he wants to look after her hoping she will come back so he keeps sending her money.

Is he working away from home with the wifes blessing? Did they talk about the finances between them before he left? In any case. 15.000 Baht per month is enough to keep her. He is not responsible for the wifes mother, that is her responsibility along with any brothers or sisters he may have.

I think to give the OP any help or advice, he will need to tell us more.

We're not separated. We're married. I'm just sending money to her while I'm away. I currently work for a living and hope to move to Thailand permanently in the future though.

I was hoping 15k a month would keep her happy but I don't know if it's enough. She says I at least *partially* support her whole family? I have no idea how an entire family could survive on that small amount I sent her. Seemed like a joke to me.

Neither her nor you are meant to support the whole family. 5,000 baht to the parents is enough.

All other family members should work or rely on their own children, not on you.

15k is enough is she lives a low key Thai lifestyle, but if not, of course it isn't - could you live on 15k in Thailand?

It depends on how much you can afford, and it also depends on her and her family's view: do they put pressure on her because she has a farang boyfriend? (in which case be careful). Or do they understand being white doesn't mean you have a magic money-making wand? (in which case you might be able to build a long-lasting, meaningful relationship).

[HardenedSoul]

How do men find themselves in these ridiculous situations?

How does a man seriously get it into his head that he's gonna come to LOS, meet a girl, fall in love, tie the knot then go back to the West and send a stipend every month when he has no freakin' clue what she's doing with the money??

I mean, is it just the type of men Thailand attracts because I know I could paint this picture to any of 10 perfectly ordinary, straightforward guys back in London who would cut off their own choppers before putting themselves in this situation.

One more for HS,

And in the UK I know a hundred lonely, but not necessarily single, men who would happily send a young Thai girl far more money every month in the expectation and lifestyle fantasy of a young Thai girl to have sex with on every visit.

I also know loads of UK guys who had boats and holiday villas that cost them a fortune, but they never really had time to use them. It's all about expectation and fantasy, and maybe a little about boasting.

But there's no real need for that, is there?

If that's what a guy wants why not just land at Swampy and have at it?

Why take a contract when you can pay as you go?

Even if you feel compelled to take a contract, do you really need to marry her?

The more I try to make sense of this by tying in real world perspective, the more I realise that far from being extraordinary for not engaging in these types of extended paid relationships that seem to be all the rage here, I'm actually pretty <deleted>' normal.

Normal guys back in the real world get laid/ have relationships/ get married/ have giks without paying.

Yes I know the saps will pipe up with the time-honoured classic "you pay one way or the other" but that's just a tired old excuse they kid themselves will effectively rationalize what it is they do over here.

Hey, if it's true we pay one way or the other, tell all your friends and family that you're out here at 50+ years old smashin' 18 year old farm girls in thigh boots; I'm sure all your peoples will just shrug and say "cool".

[expatoz]

15k from you and 15k from another dont worry she is doing ok they are professionals while the cats away the mice to play

[12DrinkMore]

I wonder just how true are these anecdotal stories.

One above states one girl is getting 3 * 30k / month.

So one "husband" is paying 360,000 Baht/year.

Supposing he takes three months holiday each year to be with "distant wifey", that is around 4,000 Baht for each day's "pleasure" spent with the one girl.

What a total waste.

In Patters he could have at least 200 women over those three months, a twin pack every night.

[zaZa9]

My farang wife didnt work , we had 4 kids , so Im quite used to giving money to my partner and therefore see nothing wrong with giving an allowance to my new Thai partner.

I dont know their opinions on here dont seem represented , but every man I know who lives in Phuket or CM does this , and doesnt see anything wrong with it, as a matter of fact.

Just the same as you dont.

Surely they cant ALL be being taken for a ride as some respondents would have it...

A waitress or shop assistant around here will earn about 10k a month , some a bit more with tips, and I can understand those husbands who want their wife to earn something like that if the house needs money.

But its not for me , I am retired and dont work , and the 60 hour work week that is required for my 'wife' to bring in that amount is simply too long a work week.

Thus I give her 12k a month , about $100 US a week , when I used to give my ex $1000 a week . So it looks like a good deal to me , and of course , as I live here , all the traditional wifely duties are taken care of. They are also taken care with a good deal more enthusiasm and good nature than I had before.

Though , in fairness , this time there is only one child , her happy little grand daughter.

So I think that 15k is enough , a little too high if there are no kids , but up to you.

If your 'wife' is incapable of budgeting that , as mine was initially , spread it , as somebody wisely said, over 2 payments.

You are 'between a rock and a hard place' I know , because you are trying to save to move to LOS , and the more you send over , the less you can save for that purpose. You should ask her nicely to think about that ...

But every relationship has its tests , and by refusing to up the money , you are making a very small test of your relationships strength , as well as not making some crazy rod for your own back. Of course if you keep giving more , when you finally get here she will be expecting you to keep doing so , and thus its a pity you didnt start off lower , giving you room to at least look more generous.

My advice is to learn to grunt or remain silent about her expenditures on family. They will only mirror her behaviour and start asking for more as they see the tap doesnt appear to have any "off" valve.

Im leaning with the opinions here that she can always work the 60 hours , and near double her money if she cant keep up the families supply , and its a natural consequence that she may become a tad more frugal when its her hard earned going straight out the door.

I wouldnt tell her outright she has to get a job , but it could be a helpful suggestion by you once she embarked on some "Mumma needs.." story.

Finally , Do You Have a Plan? To me thats vital to keep the tg on track and looking toward a future...

[Sam Gold]

The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht a day... 300x30 is 9000 baht per month. A lot of Thai's with families are earning only that so if you are sending her 15000 a month to sit on her backside she is doing very well thanks very much.. TELL HER TO GET A JOB....

Well, I guess being a wife is her job. So I pay her. Seriously, how is any man going to get & keep a woman if he doesn't have any money?? I've tried to spot some homeless guys with women but no luck yet..

Having money is not the same thing as paying your wife a monthly salary to stay with you

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Sharing your income with your wife isn't "paying" her for a "job". In my case if my wife worked I would have to spend more time at home taking care of our son, I would work less. Basically if my wife worked we would have less money.

We share the budget and yes as my family's provider that does involve me transferring money to her account. Does that mean she is a "salaried wife"? No, that is a concept I am not familiar with, I'm afraid. Does she "sit around all day doing nothing"? Nope, while I work she takes care of all the other stuff and I can assure you there is a lot to do.

She comes from a low-income country, asking her to work doesn't put us on the same level if I earn in 2 days what she would earn in a month. It isn't fair and the "tell her to get a job" thing isn't always relevant.

Of course I'm talking about an actual life partner here, not someone just met last week.

[expatoz]

the number of guys on this site to have the wool pulled over their eyes is mind boggling they cant see the forest for the trees

[larsjohnsson]

The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht a day... 300x30 is 9000 baht per month. A lot of Thai's with families are earning only that so if you are sending her 15000 a month to sit on her backside she is doing very well thanks very much.. TELL HER TO GET A JOB....

Well, I guess being a wife is her job. So I pay her. Seriously, how is any man going to get & keep a woman if he doesn't have any money?? I've tried to spot some homeless guys with women but no luck yet..

Having money is not the same thing as paying your wife a monthly salary to stay with you

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Sharing your income with your wife isn't "paying" her for a "job". In my case if my wife worked I would have to spend more time at home taking care of our son, I would work less. Basically if my wife worked we would have less money.

We share the budget and yes as my family's provider that does involve me transferring money to her account. Does that mean she is a "salaried wife"? No, that is a concept I am not familiar with, I'm afraid. Does she "sit around all day doing nothing"? Nope, while I work she takes care of all the other stuff and I can assure you there is a lot to do.

She comes from a low-income country, asking her to work doesn't put us on the same level if I earn in 2 days what she would earn in a month. It isn't fair and the "tell her to get a job" thing isn't always relevant.

Of course I'm talking about an actual life partner here, not someone just met last week.

Sharing your income with your wife like you describe is a completely different thing. Most men that I know do that. It's not the same thing as sending a specific amount every month to a Thai wife in another country. I don't belive you have to ask in an internet forum how much of your income you should share either. I suppose you and your wife can decide that

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[reptile91602]

if you send a dime to a girl over here you had better be damn sure she is not using you or good luck with your next physical exam!!!

[Straight8]

I never understand these posts..!! If you were married in your own country, would you keep all your wages and give your wife an allowance?

I budget a monthly escape fund, stashed in U.K (escape for both of us, in case the country really goes South) and the rest goes into our joint acc as do her wages...

Sounds to me like you are paying to say you are married to a Thai girl and not in a 'marriage' at all...

I bet deep down the OP knows its all about the money and if paying more for his wife will increase the chances of her not dumping him. Why else do you think he is asking?

Pressure from all angles to give more [baht]? Very likely.

Once you start paying an allowance, a monthly stipend or whatever u like to call it, it's there for the duration [Vat and service charge excluded]

Edited February 13, 2014 by Straight8

[tyler2208]

How do men find themselves in these ridiculous situations?

How does a man seriously get it into his head that he's gonna come to LOS, meet a girl, fall in love, tie the knot then go back to the West and send a stipend every month when he has no freakin' clue what she's doing with the money??

I mean, is it just the type of men Thailand attracts because I know I could paint this picture to any of 10 perfectly ordinary, straightforward guys back in London who would cut off their own choppers before putting themselves in this situation.

well said

[gabruce]

OMG! Have you seen how much things cost in Thailand? The rent, the food, the beauty products, the night out with a friend, the transportation, the family needs, etc. 15,000 baht wont cut it, she needs at least 45,000baht to get by per month.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

you are too funny

[tyler2208]

The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht a day... 300x30 is 9000 baht per month. A lot of Thai's with families are earning only that so if you are sending her 15000 a month to sit on her backside she is doing very well thanks very much.. TELL HER TO GET A JOB....

Well, I guess being a wife is her job. So I pay her. Seriously, how is any man going to get & keep a woman if he doesn't have any money?? I've tried to spot some homeless guys with women but no luck yet..

the issue isn't if the man has money or not.

but believe it or not, some farangs actually take the time to find a real wife/companion/girlfriend here.

many of us date and marry professional women with their own careers and therefore have there own income and often come from self families that have their own money and are quite self sufficient.

A man having money or not having money should not be the basis of the relationship.

your statement is the typical kind of nonsense you here from all the other losers that end up paying for love here and then try and tell everyone that "this is the norm"

next you will be telling everyone "it's thai culture"

well i guess maybe supporting women financially is "the norm" or "thai culture" for people like you.

[maderaroja]

I don't pay my wife anything. She has her own business and I own the business fixtures and pay the rent on the building. She pays me based on the amount of sales she makes. If she makes no sales or little sales, she loses. She could do nothing and make nothing. I would, then, find someone who was interested in really running the business. As it stands, she is ambitious and does a good job. Consequently, I do well also.

[Straight8]

How do men find themselves in these ridiculous situations?

How does a man seriously get it into his head that he's gonna come to LOS, meet a girl, fall in love, tie the knot then go back to the West and send a stipend every month when he has no freakin' clue what she's doing with the money??

I mean, is it just the type of men Thailand attracts because I know I could paint this picture to any of 10 perfectly ordinary, straightforward guys back in London who would cut off their own choppers before putting themselves in this situation.

well said

I'll second that

[homsiam]

My Thai sister in law and her husband's joint monthly income is 25k, they have a house, car and 1 child as an example.

An awful lot depends WHERE she is living, if she is running with a Hi-So wannabe pack in Bangkok, then 100k wouldnt cut it,

If she is running with other hookers and partying in Phuket or Pattaya, then no 50k wouldnt cut it, but may make her cut down on clients a little.

If she is a normal girl from a typical Thai town or village, she is taking the piss !

My opinion, no matter what the circumstances, you shouldnt be paying her ANYTHING, she wouldnt have it if you werent there, unless she's on her back, so why should she get it for sod all from you ? Wake up man !

You make a lot of post on eweryside in forum and talk fore people how to do,but do you now your one life????

[homsiam]

the number of guys on this site to have the wool pulled over their eyes is mind boggling they cant see the forest for the trees

So open the eyes and you will se the sun

[JesseFrank]

Though, we would need to see a photo of the both of you together to make a realistic suggestion.

Why is that ?

If she is beautiful and the OP ugly, will she be overcharged for her som tam ?

[JesseFrank]

The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht a day... 300x30 is 9000 baht per month. A lot of Thai's with families are earning only that so if you are sending her 15000 a month to sit on her backside she is doing very well thanks very much.. TELL HER TO GET A JOB....

Well, I guess being a wife is her job. So I pay her. Seriously, how is any man going to get & keep a woman if he doesn't have any money?? I've tried to spot some homeless guys with women but no luck yet..

You could ask your dad if he had to pay your mom to stay with him .

[khunPer]

15k/month? It’s depending of the individual situation and life-style, same-same bargirl or not…!

For example, living in a rural Isaan village in the family home with no child?

Presume around 5,000/month will do…

Living in rural Isaan village in the family home with a child?

More likely 8,000 to 10,000/month – add some 4,000/month per child…

Living alone away from family home in a rented place, study or no work?

Depending of rent and costs 15,000-20,000/month seems fair…

Working and living away from home in a rented place?

Some benefits for extras 5,000/moth, more if child/children/support family…

Contributing to family at home?

Depending of how much, but 3,000 to 5,000/month may be fair to add…

When living a higher life-style, then at least double the amounts.

Many “ifs”, if don’t know details.

Presume making a budget may help finding the right amount.

Before I could settle here I wanted my GF to learn/study (more) English and computor (Word, Excell etc.), and of course I needed to provide for that. We made a budget together – or rather I did and she commented if she could live on it.

Posts to concern about can for example be:

Rent for home/room/bungalow etc. (fx 8,000/month)

Tuition fees; study iso working (fx. 7,000/month)

Daily allowance for food etc. (fx. 200/day = 6,000/month)

Extras like telephone card, clothes, and time out with friends etc. (fx. 2,000/month)

Transportation, motorbike rent + gasoline, public transport (fx. 3,000/month)

Child/children to support (fx. 4,000/month each child)

Family to support (fx. 3,000/month)

Together the posts can easily sum up to 30,000+/month…

Only yourself – or yourself and your GF together – can judge if 15k seem fair.

I have two friends sending money to GF in village. The one sends 5k/month (two grown-up kids) ; the other sends 40k/month (1 child about 7yo) plus all the extras coming up all the time, like money for a new motorbike, money for a new house for mum, money a new car for her, money for two baht more gold – presume next will be regular school fees for EP or International for a couple of kids…

[tyler2208]

My farang wife didnt work , we had 4 kids , so Im quite used to giving money to my partner and therefore see nothing wrong with giving an allowance to my new Thai partner.

I dont know their opinions on here dont seem represented , but every man I know who lives in Phuket or CM does this , and doesnt see anything wrong with it, as a matter of fact.

Just the same as you dont.

Surely they cant ALL be being taken for a ride as some respondents would have it...

A waitress or shop assistant around here will earn about 10k a month , some a bit more with tips, and I can understand those husbands who want their wife to earn something like that if the house needs money.

But its not for me , I am retired and dont work , and the 60 hour work week that is required for my 'wife' to bring in that amount is simply too long a work week.

Thus I give her 12k a month , about $100 US a week , when I used to give my ex $1000 a week . So it looks like a good deal to me , and of course , as I live here , all the traditional wifely duties are taken care of. They are also taken care with a good deal more enthusiasm and good nature than I had before.

Though , in fairness , this time there is only one child , her happy little grand daughter.

So I think that 15k is enough , a little too high if there are no kids , but up to you.

If your 'wife' is incapable of budgeting that , as mine was initially , spread it , as somebody wisely said, over 2 payments.

You are 'between a rock and a hard place' I know , because you are trying to save to move to LOS , and the more you send over , the less you can save for that purpose. You should ask her nicely to think about that ...

But every relationship has its tests , and by refusing to up the money , you are making a very small test of your relationships strength , as well as not making some crazy rod for your own back. Of course if you keep giving more , when you finally get here she will be expecting you to keep doing so , and thus its a pity you didnt start off lower , giving you room to at least look more generous.

My advice is to learn to grunt or remain silent about her expenditures on family. They will only mirror her behaviour and start asking for more as they see the tap doesnt appear to have any "off" valve.

Im leaning with the opinions here that she can always work the 60 hours , and near double her money if she cant keep up the families supply , and its a natural consequence that she may become a tad more frugal when its her hard earned going straight out the door.

I wouldnt tell her outright she has to get a job , but it could be a helpful suggestion by you once she embarked on some "Mumma needs.." story.

Finally , Do You Have a Plan? To me thats vital to keep the tg on track and looking toward a future...

I understand what your saying but there are a few differences.

before you were supporting your wife, who was the mother of your four children, so i guess she was a full time housewife.

I understand what you are saying about the 60 hour week thing, especially if you are retired you would rather have the company of your wife for those 60 hours than the 10,000 baht she would bring to the table whilst being away from you for those 60 hours.

but the op lives abroad and sends money, why?

it is not getting them anymore quality time together is it?

in my opinion he is just encouraging laziness...

thats be honest, if the op's wife is healthy, not taking care of a baby, then there is no reason she should not be working.

otherwise she is no different to people in the west that sit around watching daytime tv and getting handouts from the state.

you say the men you know in cm and phuket don't see anything wrong giving an allowance.. but maybe they are in the same situation as you, possibly retired and therefore want there wife with them rather than out working.

but giving somebody an allowance who is quite capable of working, especially when the two people don't even live in the same country is just retarded... sorry.