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How are the women in Vietnam?


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Well,actually,it isn't really clear whether it is still illegal for a foreigner to cohabit with a Vietnamese citizen,if they are not married.There are reports here that whilst it used to be against the law,the situation was changed in 2000 (9th June),when the "Marriage and Family Law 200" law was enacted.Unfortunately I haven't been able to find a certified translation of this law,but it appears that this legislation recognised that co-habitation was not illegal,but did not afford it an equal legal status to marriage.Some hotels still apply the 1986 statute,possibly because of ignorance of the change in the law,

The 2000 law replaced the 1986 statute (see the urls below). However the 1986 statute did not have a rule that generally forbade foreigners from shacking up with or getting a hotel room together in VN with a Vietnamese citizen. So you appear to be mistaken. I assume the law that forbids that is in another piece of legislation.

Both the 1986 & 2000 acts allow for a foreigner married to a VN national to live together & make babies. So there is nothing new there. We already knew that was allowed.

Neither of the two acts comments generally upon other types of cohabitation, although the 2000 act says:

"A married person is forbidden to marry or live with another person as husband or wife and an unmarried person is forbidden to marry or live with a married person as husband or wife."

http://www.refworld.org/docid/3ae6b54dc.html

http://laws.dongnai.gov.vn/1991_to_2000/2000/200006/200006090007_en/lawdocument_view

The following site has English translations of dozens of pieces of lengthy VN legislation. Maybe there you can find the law that presently forbids foreigners & VN nationals sharing a room in VN, as per the US & other government websites.

"Foreigners who stay overnight at hotels or residential quarters reserved for foreigners..."

http://moj.gov.vn/vbpq/en/Lists/Vn%20bn%20php%20lut/View_Detail.aspx?ItemID=9148

Or you might want to contact the US government to inquire as to what piece of VN legislation the law is in & why they've said such cohabitation is against the law for at least the past 13 years. If they were wrong, with all the millions of people reading their site, i'd think in that amount of time someone would have corrected them, eh?

Edited by oldthaihand99
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Who on earth needs to spend time in a country that had a government that is as pig headed, backwards, obnoxious and ridiculous as the Vietnamese govt? Why? I do not need govt. minders telling me what is moral, and what is not. Reminds me of the morally righteous preachers in the US. Catch up with the times. Why such fear of freedoms? I am thrilled I do not live there.

Spidermike007

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I have actually spent several hours tonight in the bar(My bar in Vietnam-where I have lived for 4 years) talking to Vietnamese guys about this subject-some teachers(Vietnamese teachers who teach English),a tour guide,and a policeman/local government guy-not sure exactly what he does.Tomorrow,I will summarise exactly what they said.BUT what I have said all along is what they confirmed tonight.There is no law in Vietnam that prevents a foreigner co-habiting with a Vietnamese citizen.You can quote as many unnamed sources as you like ,but,as I have said before-you have no idea what you are talking about.I asked you on the forum a simple question-have you ever been to Vietnam? If so,how many times,where to,for how long?? As of now,you have not replied.I sent you a PM,asking the same question-as yet no reply/Why on earth would I want to contact the US government?? What are you talking about??Now=will you actually answer the question-have you ever been to Vietnam,if so when,for how long,how many times,where etc etc NO-I didn't think so.Stop posting abstruse references and come clean.

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Who on earth needs to spend time in a country that had a government that is as pig headed, backwards, obnoxious and ridiculous as the Vietnamese govt? Why? I do not need govt. minders telling me what is moral, and what is not. Reminds me of the morally righteous preachers in the US. Catch up with the times. Why such fear of freedoms? I am thrilled I do not live there.

Spidermike007

Well,I do live here,and I've never found it to be like that.I've lived in Cambodia and Thailand(and of course the UK) and Vietnam is the easiest country to run a business in,and generally live in,out of all those.I've lived here for 4 years and never experienced any problems,so why do you think it's so bad?

Edited by lekatai
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Who on earth needs to spend time in a country that had a government that is as pig headed, backwards, obnoxious and ridiculous as the Vietnamese govt? Why? I do not need govt. minders telling me what is moral, and what is not. Reminds me of the morally righteous preachers in the US. Catch up with the times. Why such fear of freedoms? I am thrilled I do not live there.

Spidermike007

Well,I do live here,and I've never found it to be like that.I've lived in Cambodia and Thailand(and of course the UK) and it's the easiest country to run a business in,and generally live in,out of all those.I've lived here for 4 years and never experienced any problems,so why do you think it's so bad?

Well, i have never lived there. But in three visits over a period of quite a few years i have found it to be difficult. The idea of the authorities telling me what I can and cannot do is silly. I have had most hotels refuse to allow me company in my room. How surly and childish is that? I say screw the govt.

Spidermike007

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Well,I think in most countries,essentially the government tells you what to do!! But,certainly in Vietnam,the government restrictions have been greatly relaxed over the past few years.Tonight,when I was talking to the Vietnamese guys,the main thread of their conversation was that:-Yes-some years ago,there were many restrictions in force,i,e, where you could travel ,what you could do,and where you could stay.But-when I asked them directly-can a non-Vietnamese person live with a Vietnamese citizen? their answer was completely unanimous-"Why not"And when I pressed the point,they were all in agreement,if you(as a foreigner) are with a Vietnamese person who is your girlfriend,there is absolutely no problem at all.BUT If the hotel suspects that the person you are with is a bar girl (or-as they said-a" taxi girl") then,yes,there may be a problem,because they don't want to fall foul of the police,and be accused of facilitating prostitution.When I asked them"is it against the law for a non-Vietnamese person to live with a Vietnamese citizen?"they were all in agreement,and said that-no of course it wasn't.in fact many of them had friends or relatives who were in this situation.Things are changing rapidly in Vietnam,and unless you actually have personal information about living here,and you only rely on Google to supply information which is many years out of date,then it might be better to "" With the greatest of respect of course (Spidermike-this is not aimed at you)

Respect to "Thaivisa" the "deleted" part of my post was automatically deleted by your website-I didn't know that was possible-automatic censorship,so much for criticising the Vietnamese government!!

Edited by lekatai
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Well,I think in most countries,essentially the government tells you what to do!! But,certainly in Vietnam,the government restrictions have been greatly relaxed over the past few years.Tonight,when I was talking to the Vietnamese guys,the main thread of their conversation was that:-Yes-some years ago,there were many restrictions in force,i,e, where you could travel ,what you could do,and where you could stay.But-when I asked them directly-can a non-Vietnamese person live with a Vietnamese citizen? their answer was completely unanimous-"Why not"And when I pressed the point,they were all in agreement,if you(as a foreigner) are with a Vietnamese person who is your girlfriend,there is absolutely no problem at all.BUT If the hotel suspects that the person you are with is a bar girl (or-as they said-a" taxi girl") then,yes,there may be a problem,because they don't want to fall foul of the police,and be accused of facilitating prostitution.When I asked them"is it against the law for a non-Vietnamese person to live with a Vietnamese citizen?"they were all in agreement,and said that-no of course it wasn't.in fact many of them had friends or relatives who were in this situation.Things are changing rapidly in Vietnam,and unless you actually have personal information about living here,and you only rely on Google to supply information which is many years out of date,then it might be better to "" With the greatest of respect of course (Spidermike-this is not aimed at you)

Respect to "Thaivisa" the "deleted" part of my post was automatically deleted by your website-I didn't know that was possible-automatic censorship,so much for criticising the Vietnamese government!!

The last time I was there was about four years ago, so hopefully my information is out of date, and hopefully things have changed, and the country is moving forward, into the modern ages.

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There is no law in Vietnam that prevents a foreigner co-habiting with a Vietnamese citizen.

[snip]

Why on earth would I want to contact the US government??

They might be able to steer you in the right direction re VN law & the subject at hand. After all you are not a lawyer & missed the mark in your previous comments re the law & the 1986 statue.

Moreover they probably have lawyer contacts in the country as well as contacts with high ranking government officials.

Furthermore BTW such contacts, which are sources of info to the US government, have spent many hundreds of years more than you in the country of Vietnam. So they just might know a thing or two about the law there.

"...Every guest in a hotel room must be registered, and it is illegal for a foreigner to share accommodations with a Vietnamese national."

http://travel.state.gov/content/passports/english/country/vietnam.html

Edited by oldthaihand99
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"CO-HABITATING WITH THE VIETNAMESE - The attitude to the law is relaxing over recent years, but the laws are still on the books. It is illegal for a foreigner to share a room with a Vietnamese of the opposite sex without a certificate of engagement or marriage.

http://visitingvietnam.weebly.com/laws.html

"Remember that under Vietnamese law, it is illegal to take a Vietnamese national to a hotel
room. While this law is rarely enforced, you could find yourself in even deeper water if you
report a crime disclosing that you shared a room with a Vietnamese national.

http://en.wikivoyage.org/wiki/Vietnam

"All the hotels we stayed at in Vietnam had notices in their information guides stating that
it is illegal to have a local Vietnamese stay in your room. This of course is aimed at the sex
industry and preventing tourists from taking advantage of the locals, but it may make things
very difficult for you. There was absolutely no ambiguity in these notices.

"If your girlfriend is still a Vietnamese citizen both of you may find yourselves with a lot of
explaining to do. From reading these forums I've seen that the Vietnamese people can be

very nasty towards one of their own if they so choose.

http://www.tripadvisor.com.sg/ShowTopic-g293921-i8432-k4977959-Unmarried_couples_sharing_a_hotel_room-Vietnam.html

"Yes its officially against the law, but most hotels do not care so much as one hotel put it -
we are out to make dosh not worry who is in your hotel room. wink.png

http://www.tripadvisor.com.sg/ShowTopic-g293921-i8432-k4977959-o10-Unmarried_couples_sharing_a_hotel_room-Vietnam.html

"Occasional crackdowns from police on adult entertainment establishments and an antiquated law that makes it officially illegal for a Vietnamese national to stay in a hotel room with a foreigner haven’t done much to put a damper on things, but it can be a real pain finding a place that will let you retire to your temporary quarters with a local friend (or two) in tow.

"Unofficially, the usual advice given to visitors is that one and two star hotels will allow local guests in the rooms while better facilities will not. That is not a hard and fast rule however. There are exceptions and sometimes a little monetary lubricant can ease things up. No matter what the star rating of the hotel, local guests can usually visit without problem before 10 or 11 PM.

by Rockit 20/01/2014

-----

"Well, when I was in Vietnam the police would come into my hotel room around 2 a.m. to check for hookers! Since your passport is turned over to the desk clerk when you check in the police can confiscate that passport until you pay a huge bribe! The inspection was thorough, they (police) looked under beds, in closets, behind doors, in bathtubs, etc. They seem disappointed when they leave and find no VN citizens!....

A few hotels got raided by police very often, like almost everynight or every week, at least....

Technically its illegal for foriegner to have vietnamese gf spend the night in the room....

http://www.travelblog.org/Topics/10525-1.html

Edited by oldthaihand99
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Listen "Oldthaihand" I have asked you several times if you have been to Vietnam,and if so-for how long,how many times etc etc.You haven't responded at all,so I assume you have never been here.I really don't understand why you keep on posting the same old re-hashed inaccurate information.What is the point you are trying to make.All you are doing is posting "information" on sites such as tripadvisor and wikitravel,which are all sites where the content is provided by contributors from the internet.All of this content is completely unchecked by independent people.I am not going to respond to any more of your asinine postings,unless you can tell everyone the truth-have you ever been here-or are you just posting bizarre and inaccurate information from a basement somewhere in your village?? Tell the truth Please

Edited by lekatai
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"I have asked you several times if you have been to Vietnam,and if so-for how long,how many times etc etc."

The questions are irrelevant & off topic to the subject of the OP, namely women in Vietnam.

In my home country, a Western nation, i had a Vietnamese lady who ran a shop & cut my hair on a regular basis. She talked about Vietnam, had lived there for years, visited often, kept in contact with relatives in Hanoi. She probably had no clue about the subject of the illegality of foreigners sharing a room with a VN citizen in VN. Just as a 50 year old rice farmer in VN would probably have no clue, either, even after living there for 5 decades.

Point is living in a country does not necessarily mean you know more on a specific topic re that country than others who haven't lived there. Neither does living there all your life make you more knowledgable in that regard than one who has been there only a few years or a relatively short time.

BTW how long do you think all those people i quoted, all who agreed re the law in VN, have spent in the country? How long have the contacts of the government websites i posted?

As to your remarks lightly dismissing the internet quotes i posted, your opinions re VN are also on the same medium and therefore subject to the same remarks you made about those quotes. The difference being they are many & more reliable sources, while you are but one person whose credibility is, for obvious reasons, questionable.

Edited by oldthaihand99
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  • 2 weeks later...

I lived in Vietnam from 2006 - 2012 and had a fair bit of experience with this issue. The laws there are not clear and are enforced selectively (leaving maximum room for payoffs no doubt). In the case of this issue it doesn't really matter if it's illegal or not if the hotel or the police wish to say it is. Vietnam is not a country where one has any rights to argue the finer points of Vietnamese law.

I was refused accommodation on 2 occasions in 4/5 star resorts/hotels (I was with my long-term gf in both instances) and on a third occasion we only were allowed to stay after we swore we were married but had forgotten our birth certificates. I have several friends who had the same experience. I was in a 2 star hotel during a police raid/shakedown because the hotel was late in their payments but luckily they stopped at the room next to mine.

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I lived in Vietnam from 2006 - 2012 and had a fair bit of experience with this issue. The laws there are not clear and are enforced selectively (leaving maximum room for payoffs no doubt). In the case of this issue it doesn't really matter if it's illegal or not if the hotel or the police wish to say it is. Vietnam is not a country where one has any rights to argue the finer points of Vietnamese law.

I was refused accommodation on 2 occasions in 4/5 star resorts/hotels (I was with my long-term gf in both instances) and on a third occasion we only were allowed to stay after we swore we were married but had forgotten our birth certificates. I have several friends who had the same experience. I was in a 2 star hotel during a police raid/shakedown because the hotel was late in their payments but luckily they stopped at the room next to mine.

Antiquated nonsense by a completely ridiculous government that is totally out of step with the rest of the planet, attempting to preach a false morality and imposing their silly childish, petulant views on all who visit. Who needs it? Best to avoid the country altogether. Mostly surly people anyway.

Spidermike007

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  • 3 months later...

One of the biggest differences there, is there is a very powerful taboo against western men being with a local woman. Very unlike Thailand. So, you will find the woman will not even be willing to be seen in public with you. If she does, loads of scorn will be heaped on both of you. Vietnamese are largely a very cold, distant, closed minded people. They do not carry the level of fulfillment and happiness that the Thai people manage to manifest on a daily basis. Sometimes, it feels like each soul there is carrying the burden of the last two centuries on their shoulders. Not a happy lot by any stretch of the imagination. And I have been there several times, in both the north and the south, though I will say the south is infinitely more pleasant than the north, where an oppressive pall hangs in the air constantly.

For a moment I thought you were referring to Thailand...

Have you ever been out lately with your mrs/gf?

..and I don't mean central BKK,Pattaya/Phuket etc.

...in 'real' Thailand.

My gf even avoids talkin to me at the gym out of fear of thai monkeys teasing her..maliciously teasing that is..

It took a few years, but my fiancé no longer cares about the local monkeys. She realizes their opinion means less than zero. They are silly, petty baboons. We walk around out in public, and the only bad looks we get are from western women, who resent the fact that I do not have to endure their daily torture, and I am with a younger woman who is beautiful and charming, and gives me very little grief. She seems quite proud to be walking around with me, actually.

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I lived in Vietnam from 2006 - 2012 and had a fair bit of experience with this issue. The laws there are not clear and are enforced selectively (leaving maximum room for payoffs no doubt). In the case of this issue it doesn't really matter if it's illegal or not if the hotel or the police wish to say it is. Vietnam is not a country where one has any rights to argue the finer points of Vietnamese law.

I was refused accommodation on 2 occasions in 4/5 star resorts/hotels (I was with my long-term gf in both instances) and on a third occasion we only were allowed to stay after we swore we were married but had forgotten our birth certificates. I have several friends who had the same experience. I was in a 2 star hotel during a police raid/shakedown because the hotel was late in their payments but luckily they stopped at the room next to mine.

Antiquated nonsense by a completely ridiculous government that is totally out of step with the rest of the planet, attempting to preach a false morality and imposing their silly childish, petulant views on all who visit. Who needs it? Best to avoid the country altogether. Mostly surly people anyway.

Spidermike007

Who on earth wants to be dictated to by a government that does not even know the difference between right and wrong? Commie freaks. No way I am going to take their nonsense. Communism has been proven to be a complete failed system. Horrific for the people involved. Of course, it does create political billionaires, as we have seen in China and in Cuba, and in N. Korea. All shining examples.

To have a freak govt. tell me I cannot stay in a hotel room with my girlfriend, because they consider it immoral? As if they even know what that means? I doubt I will ever return to Vietnam, unless their ridiculous govt. is overthrown.

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I lived in Vietnam from 2006 - 2012 and had a fair bit of experience with this issue. The laws there are not clear and are enforced selectively (leaving maximum room for payoffs no doubt). In the case of this issue it doesn't really matter if it's illegal or not if the hotel or the police wish to say it is. Vietnam is not a country where one has any rights to argue the finer points of Vietnamese law.

I was refused accommodation on 2 occasions in 4/5 star resorts/hotels (I was with my long-term gf in both instances) and on a third occasion we only were allowed to stay after we swore we were married but had forgotten our birth certificates. I have several friends who had the same experience. I was in a 2 star hotel during a police raid/shakedown because the hotel was late in their payments but luckily they stopped at the room next to mine.

Antiquated nonsense by a completely ridiculous government that is totally out of step with the rest of the planet, attempting to preach a false morality and imposing their silly childish, petulant views on all who visit. Who needs it? Best to avoid the country altogether. Mostly surly people anyway.

Spidermike007

Who on earth wants to be dictated to by a government that does not even know the difference between right and wrong? Commie freaks. No way I am going to take their nonsense. Communism has been proven to be a complete failed system. Horrific for the people involved. Of course, it does create political billionaires, as we have seen in China and in Cuba, and in N. Korea. All shining examples.

To have a freak govt. tell me I cannot stay in a hotel room with my girlfriend, because they consider it immoral? As if they even know what that means? I doubt I will ever return to Vietnam, unless their ridiculous govt. is overthrown.

that will teach the commies a lesson and perhaps even initiates free elections coffee1.gif

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One of the biggest differences there, is there is a very powerful taboo against western men being with a local woman. Very unlike Thailand. So, you will find the woman will not even be willing to be seen in public with you. If she does, loads of scorn will be heaped on both of you. Vietnamese are largely a very cold, distant, closed minded people. They do not carry the level of fulfillment and happiness that the Thai people manage to manifest on a daily basis. Sometimes, it feels like each soul there is carrying the burden of the last two centuries on their shoulders. Not a happy lot by any stretch of the imagination. And I have been there several times, in both the north and the south, though I will say the south is infinitely more pleasant than the north, where an oppressive pall hangs in the air constantly.

For a moment I thought you were referring to Thailand...

Have you ever been out lately with your mrs/gf?

..and I don't mean central BKK,Pattaya/Phuket etc.

...in 'real' Thailand.

My gf even avoids talkin to me at the gym out of fear of thai monkeys teasing her..maliciously teasing that is..

tell her to grow some ovaries and put the monkeys in their places

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Many cultural similarities with Thai women but IMHO much more beautiful and gentle. They genuinely love sex and will often indulge without there being monetary strings attached. The main difference is, as has been noted above, the attitude of others to foreigner/local relationships. It is illegal for unmarried mixed couples to stay in the same room and many hotels (certainly 4 and 5 star) will insist you book separate rooms. Also there is no bar scene like there is in Thailand (where is there?). There are obviously hookers in most hotel bars and there are several bars in Saigon (called "bier hom") where you can go upstairs for a BJ or take the girls home if you wish. You can also get happy endings (and sometimes more) in massage parlors.

Best starting point is Vietnamcupid.com

Don't believe the crap about them not being "a happy lot." While they have every reason to be downcast given their history and circumstances they are extremely resilient and friendly and respond very well to foreigners, especially away from the big cities - same as most countries.

You are probably very accurate about the Vietnamese women liking sex more than the Thais. Very, very few women I have encountered here really like sex. Very few. They perform sex since it helps them to achieve their objectives, but only a small percent genuinely love it, and finish, finish, is that enough, are you ok, is something you have to get used to hearing. Of course there are exceptions. But, in ever heard this in the Philippines, and rarely in Cambodia. One hears this kind of nonsense, that leads you to believe most Thai women are not really sexual animals, quite often.

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  • 2 months later...

I know I am coming late to this forum but I come with important information. I was in Southeast Asia, primarily Vietnam for all of Sept and my last night in Hanoi at aordinary mid-range hotel in the Old Quarter of Hanoi, I stumbled in at 2 a.m. with a woman no one at the hotel had seen before. She simply presented her ID to the night clerk to copy, as all guests are required to do so the hotel has an accurate list of its occupants.The desk clerk wished us good night and went back to sleep.The next morning the hotel staff ordered up my taxi just fine mentioned nothing about any impropriety and bid me farewell. no it is true that scenario would probably have played out differently a decade ago. But I think people are greatly underestimating changes that have taken place in Vietnam. This is a country where you can get anything you might want. It is worth noting the central government is seriously considering reversing its decision to criminalize prostitution. there is not one single city over 50,000 people without at least one full service massage parlor or two. Saigon, Hanoi, Danang have hundreds. it is also worth noting police do not carry guns in Vietnam. And any kind of infraction is easily dealt with with by a couple dollars and a beer.

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  • 4 weeks later...

One of the biggest differences there, is there is a very powerful taboo against western men being with a local woman. Very unlike Thailand. So, you will find the woman will not even be willing to be seen in public with you. If she does, loads of scorn will be heaped on both of you. Vietnamese are largely a very cold, distant, closed minded people. They do not carry the level of fulfillment and happiness that the Thai people manage to manifest on a daily basis. Sometimes, it feels like each soul there is carrying the burden of the last two centuries on their shoulders. Not a happy lot by any stretch of the imagination. And I have been there several times, in both the north and the south, though I will say the south is infinitely more pleasant than the north, where an oppressive pall hangs in the air constantly.

AFAIK, the best place to meet friendly Vietnamese women in Singapore ph34r.png.pagespeed.ce.GOH20nhrx_1x6kyCr

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.I should have made it clearer that I have no personal knowledge of anything like this happening in Vietnam-only stories off the internet,and urban legends.I've traveled extensively in Vietnam over the last 8 years,am married to a Vietnamese lady,and I have lived in Vietnam for over 4 years.Whereas 8 years ago,it was sometimes the case that we were asked for a marriage certificate,that hasn't happened for years With regard to your links to other sites=firstly the Stickman story is just that-it's a story,it's not fact and sounds more like fiction/fantasy to me.The story is titled "Crazy B*itch" and the writer is "Asian Gigolo".Say no more. In any case the allegation was one of rape,which eventually got watered down to causing a disturbance.Nothing to do with sharing a room with a Vietnamese citizen

As far as the US government website advice goes-my information is that this piece of advice is outdated,the law having been changed in 2000.

In relation to the Tripadvisor link,firstly it was written in 2007-7 years ago,when the old law was still being enforced by some hotels-for whatever reason,either because they didn't know the law had changed,they didn't understand the law,or they didn't want to encourage prostitution,or have even the smallest chance that they would fall foul of the law.

Sheer ignorance on the part of ridiculous, red bellied authorities. False morality too. Who on earth needs to even spend time in such a silly country, unless of course one does not mind draconian authorities and never needs the company of a local woman?

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I heard they get sent away for re education if caught with foreigners ?

Really?

The get educated how to pronounce "Me so horny"& "Me love you long time" without an accent? laugh.png

I guess you are unfamiliar with the application of laws under a communist dictatorship. Sent away can mean being sent to a labor camp, sent to prison, or just being abused in jail for a few weeks. It is all pretty ugly stuff, being perpetrated by a foul, heinous, violent government bent on preaching a false morality. Definitely not something to joke about, especially if you are a poor woman who was dragged off by the pig headed, black hearted policemen.

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