Jai Dee Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Mate... I'm here for you. Shit you've got guts man... and you've taken the first big step... to recognise and admit your problem. Searching around for an applause smilie... If you ever need a crutch buddy... you can lean on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 A big round of applause from totster totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrus Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good luck fella. redrus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jockstar Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good luck mate. You can do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerryd Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good luck tuky. I recently quit smoking (34 days smoke free so far !). I used Zyban to help with that, and a lot of motivation. I made a list of the reasons why I NEEDED to quit, and set that list where I could see it throughout the day. Every time I though about having a smoke, I looked at the list. Even now, if I think about having a cigarette, the list of reasons pops up in my head. First on the list of reasons was Health. Below that I noted what problems I was experiencing with my health, as a result of my smoking. I also noted that these problems were only going to get worse, the longer I kept smoking. Obviously, that would figure on your list as well. You would also include Family on your list. What affect is your smoking/drinking having on their lives as well as your own ? I think having that list, and seeing the reasons I needed to quit every day, has been just as much help to me as the Zyban. If you have the willpower, you can do it. The biggest thing is you have to want to quit. More than that, you have to know that you NEED to quit. I think that did it for me this time, when I switched from the attitude that I wanted to quit, to the attitude that I NEEDED to quit. I've known a few hard-core smokers that quit cold-turkey, after having a heart attack. Don't wait that long. Do it now !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good luck to you, Tuky! How's your first day been so far? LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good luck to you, Tuky!How's your first day been so far? LaoPo It has been ok mate, had some pretty crazy dreams last night. And I am dreading walking past the shop on my way home. But all in all it is great reading all the support from you folks. What a great bunch thaivisa is yeah? I will try and post some more tonight just to keep myself accountable to you all. It is pretty embarrassing having this on an open forum, but what the heck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good luck to you, Tuky! How's your first day been so far? LaoPo It has been ok mate, had some pretty crazy dreams last night. And I am dreading walking past the shop on my way home. But all in all it is great reading all the support from you folks. What a great bunch thaivisa is yeah? I will try and post some more tonight just to keep myself accountable to you all. It is pretty embarrassing having this on an open forum, but what the heck. It's NOT, Tuky, it's not. You show a lot more courage than most people who are having the same problem! It shows you have the POWER to overcome. Wish you all the strenght you need right now. Hold On!!!! LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I think one reason why 'farang' in Thailand smoke and drink too much is because they are bored. O)K, maybe they have a day job, but after work, what do you do? For many people, watching Thai TV is a killer! So you have a smoke and go down the bar with your mates and have a drink or two (or more). And then you do the same thing the next day . . and the next . . . and the next.................. When I lived in BKK I used to watch my friends, sitting at the same bar every night, gradually drinking themselves to death. I realised that boredom is one reason why people turn to drinking or smoking, because they have nothing else to do. So I understood that when I came to live in Thailand, I needed to take up some hobbies so that my empty time would be filled. I renewed my childhood interest in amateur radio and listening to radio stations. I have also started to learn to play the concertina! These hobbies mean that whenever I have an empty moment, I don't think of having a drink or a smoke. I think 'must try to learn to play that new song tonight', or 'let's tune the old radio and see what I can hear'. Get a hobby! Get two or three hobbies!! Start doing something that is interesting for you in those empty moments. Good luck - Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Postie Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good luck Tuky!!! As they have All said..."You are the one with the courage to make a stand." The creaky old saying "The hardest part of the joiurney, is the first step" Is never truer than now. Try getting a whiskey bottle. Put it on your desk. Plonk a coin in it each day. Drown your desire by oh so slowly filling that bottle, with cash and confidence. Keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiPauly Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 (edited) Good luck to you, Tuky! How's your first day been so far? LaoPo It has been ok mate, had some pretty crazy dreams last night. And I am dreading walking past the shop on my way home. But all in all it is great reading all the support from you folks. What a great bunch thaivisa is yeah? I will try and post some more tonight just to keep myself accountable to you all. It is pretty embarrassing having this on an open forum, but what the heck. It's NOT, Tuky, it's not. You show a lot more courage than most people who are having the same problem! It shows you have the POWER to overcome. Wish you all the strenght you need right now. Hold On!!!! LaoPo I did start by writing the words to "Everybody Hurts" by REM I am sure you are familiar with them anyway. I like all your mates look forward to seeing how well you have done today Edited June 19, 2006 by ThaiPauly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaipwriter Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Take it one day at a time dude. Keep on keepin off Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VTR1000 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Tuky, you've had some great advice and I'm sure there are hel_l of a lot of other people out there in a similair position. Just remeber that you will never see 'HAPPINESS' at the bottom of a bottle. signed: kettle calling pot black! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 signed: kettle calling pot black! It is all a lot easier said than done though isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dive_mistress Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 signed: kettle calling pot black! It is all a lot easier said than done though isn't it? Hi. The reason I keep going to meetings is so its not a struggle. I dont go to meetings to stay sober I go so I dont want to drink and use. If it was a daily struggle not to drink I would have drank by now and every day in between would be miserable. Give yourself your break, there seems to be a few AA people in this forum. Find one who lives in your city (im assuming your in BKK?)and meet up and go to a meeting together. Or call the hotline number on teh website. YOu dont have to walk in alone, Nothing but a bunch of ex-drunks anyways, surely the majority have tried the will power - I will not go to AA- way. YOu know you dont have to do that walk home alone by the liquer store everynight. In AA the obession to drink can be lifted. Imagine the freedom? There is no rules except the desire to stop using. You dont have to believe in God, you dont have to be sober to show up a meeting, you dont have stay for the whole meeting and you dont even have to stop drinking! I got sober in Bangkok and Ill celebrate 5 years on Saturday. Since you mentioned your problem on a public forum, Ill mention my recovery. (and I usually guard my anonymity ferousciously) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaipwriter Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 So your gonna put a red coloured cross through the Chang logo in ur avatar then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxexile Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 i dont drink alcohol , ever since i had a bout of hepatitis when i was a student , so i dont really know what is required to stop and stay stopped , or how difficult it is. going on what others have said here , and having seen a couple of friends struggle with it , i just wish you all the strength and will power that it takes to succeed. and succeed you must , because you are the father of two kids. follow the good advice you have been given by those who understand the crossroads you are at in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRIPxCORE Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 It is pretty embarrassing having this on an open forum, but what the heck. Nothing to be embarrased about man. The only different thought I have about you now is, "Wow, this guy has a lot of strength!" I am sure everyone here thinks so much of you to be able to do this. You will probably wind up being a great inspiration to a few others here as well. The best advice I've seen on here for you is to get some professional help and try AA. If you ever feel yourself getting weak, concentrate on your kids. It's all about the kids man! You can do it Tuky!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiPauly Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 signed: kettle calling pot black! It is all a lot easier said than done though isn't it? Hi. The reason I keep going to meetings is so its not a struggle. I dont go to meetings to stay sober I go so I dont want to drink and use. If it was a daily struggle not to drink I would have drank by now and every day in between would be miserable. Give yourself your break, there seems to be a few AA people in this forum. Find one who lives in your city (im assuming your in BKK?)and meet up and go to a meeting together. Or call the hotline number on teh website. YOu dont have to walk in alone, Nothing but a bunch of ex-drunks anyways, surely the majority have tried the will power - I will not go to AA- way. Anyone that says different plainly does not comprehend what the definition of an Alcohoic is YOu know you dont have to do that walk home alone by the liquer store everynight. In AA the obession to drink can be lifted. Imagine the freedom? There is no rules except the desire to stop using. You dont have to believe in God, you dont have to be sober to show up a meeting, you dont have stay for the whole meeting and you dont even have to stop drinking! I got sober in Bangkok and Ill celebrate 5 years on Saturday. Since you mentioned your problem on a public forum, Ill mention my recovery. (and I usually guard my anonymity ferousciously) Tuky is not in BK right now.. but your post is SPOT ON, and thank you for sharing this with us CONGRATULATIONS on 5 years sober in LOS.. my problems started when I got here.. I was fine before then... I am having a Condo Unit built at present in BK .. maybee I should move there sooner Problem is I moved from BK to CM in the hope that it would cut my consumpyion down.. it did not.. In AA terms that would be considered as doing a "GEOGRAPHICAL".. which means that you re-locate to try and ease your burdon..it NEVER works The 12 step programme to recovery works 4 years sober says it does.. anybody want to contradict me? Simmo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 The 12 step programme to recovery works 4 years sober says it does.. anybody want to contradict me?Simmo? Everyone has their different beliefs, be they how to get sober, the big bang, evolution or the davinci code. I know from personal experience that when you believe something and someone knocks it you can feel a bit heated. Simmo has his ideas, and TP has his. What will work for TP will probably not work for Simmo and vicky vercka. Nothing is right and nothing is worng as we are all different and we deal with things differently. TripX says a few people might be inspired by what is taking place here, lets hope so. I for one have been inspired by all the PM's I have received. Plus the interest in this topic. Thanks so much to all that have sent their words of encouragement. It is not easy, I am sitting here going out of my brain. I am not in LoS right now, where I am staying I live right next door to the president of the country I am staying in. Outside my window is the police checkpoint to let folks in. Over the last few years I have built up a friendship with the police and all I have to do is open the window and call out taxi, if I buy them a bottle of vodka in the deal they will go to the shop for me. I have to admit I have succumbed (sp) and have just lent out the window to order my second bottle or Nemiroff vodka. There is no AA where I am at the moment (it is a muslim country, so I am the only one in this country with an alco problem), and my work means that I travel around so I never do get a chance to settle into a routine/help group. However, here we all are, online and talking. Howabout be create one here? We can then take it with us everywhere we go. I hope I haven't let anyone of you down, but my biggest problem is that I am alone, and here I am right now alone talking to you lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiPauly Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 You ARE NOT ALONE Hey.. I'm pissed too Lets make a start in 7 days to reverse this problem OK.. so here is where we start.. I am not a Moderator (Thank God) but anyone, wherever they be.. lets make acommitment that in ONE WEEK from now we Start to get sober.. I can quote from AA as well as anyone can from the Bilbe/Koran.. whatever. If you think you have a drinking problem we can start our own group here on TV.. that does not mean you can forsake AA meetings...but if you are unable to attend them... then we are here. I , having spent a long time as an AA Branch secretary am willing to take on the roll...but I have to get sober myself too. I am willing this date be MONDAY 26th June.. so if you want to get sober.. get drunk as much as you like before then... but REMEMBER how bad it feels , and be RESOLUTE to start next Monday Cheers..to yet another V & T TP I am just the same as you..no better no worse.. just a pisshead in the LOS Which PISSES ME OFF... I wanna better life.. Don't you If you don't want to out .. then trust me... PM me.. I have been around long enough to know how things work here and to keep secrets... It will only be between US that register as having problems that will be discussed via PM's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Tuky - any gym around? Seriously get urge go workout mate - apart from work, I have a feeling boredom is the major issue here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 Tuky - any gym around? Seriously get urge go workout mate - apart from work, I have a feeling boredom is the major issue here. Nah mate. But I have something in the works where I might end up with a better rotration in a different country on a better wage. Fingers crossed. Don't forget this is still a former USSR country where you still see shepherds and their flocks in the main street. The butchers operate from the sidewalk (literally butchering on the sidewalk, bloody head and all) and everyone looks like Saddam, moustache and all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossfinn Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 There is little I can say to help Tuky, but I have been rather humbled reading your posts. Others have said it but I will repeat you are not alone here, it would appear there are many in similar positions and I guess I have lost many days, weeks, even years to the gargle. I held a job for some years where the pressure was great and I blamed that for the stinging I gave the local every night, I have lost count of the apologies I have had to make. It was only meeting my wife in LOS that has turned me around. I still like a drink but nothing as bad as it was, you have some good friends who have responded, use them, call, text, post, anything but use them. But, also in my opinion don't always beat yourself up over it, it can be a difficult life and sometimes we need an escape from that life, but that is where your friends come in. Also, give yourself some objectives, mile stones to achieve and when you have achieved them, give yourself a treat, maybe with the money you have saved buy your daughters something special and then there is something you can actually and tangibly see what you have been able to accomplish. Good Luck Tuky Moss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Red Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Tuky -- Best of luck to you, mate. If you ever need anything or a shoulder to lean on, I'm here for you. I really admire your coming open with this and wish you all the best. You don't know how many times I have wondered about doing the same thing, but I always convince myself the intake level is "social". Sometimes I am apparently more "social" than other times. I agree that tackling quitting smoking at the same time is risky. Perhaps the lesser of two evils thing ... Good luck and call, PM or email anytime. PM coming. MR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Over the years I have come to the conclusion that alcoholism is a genetic problem. I used to think it was simply a weakness and that anyone could simply quit anytime they wanted to. Being addicted to cigarettes and not being able to stop made me think about people who seemed to be addicted to alcohol. I go drink with a couple of friends probably three times a week. When I am with them I usually drink too much and feel quite bad the next day. Three or four big bottles of Chang is the norm. I VERY seldom drink at home and have had three cans of beer in the fridge that were bought the last time I had a friend come to visit. I have no desire to drink unless I am with a friend or a group of friends. I just wish I could give up smoking as easily as I can give up drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 There is no AA where I am at the moment (it is a muslim country, so I am the only one in this country with an alco problem), and my work means that I travel around so I never do get a chance to settle into a routine/help group. I think that there probably is an AA meeting wherever you are - try a google search. Where are you? I know there are meetings in Saudi/Kuwait/Bahrain - nothing to do with religion. BTW - I was working in the oil business, earnig the huge bucks but drunk and miserable. I prefer to accept what I have now, which includes little money but lots of happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen Cleary Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 (edited) Hi Tuky: There is a Chinese Confucius proverb which goes "A journey around the world the world begins with the first step". Being honest on an open forum is a huge first step. Can i take the opportunity to strongly recommend a method which hasn't been mentioned yet? You're biggest obstacle will be that mind of yours which will continually toture you until you pick up that bottle again. You are going to have to calm that ever talking mind, quieten it down and take as much control over it as you possibly can. The best technic is simply 'meditation'. The results of meditation as a cure for heavy drinking etc.... are very very impressive. Try 'Vipassana meditation'. 30 minutes day which help you enormously Good luck! Edited June 20, 2006 by stevesuphan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabaijai Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 The 12 step programme to recovery works 4 years sober says it does.. anybody want to contradict me? AA's own statisticss suggest it works for 5% of those who start the programme, same rate as for those who quit on their own, but lower than the success rates for many clinical treatment programs and other methods (and lower than Wat Tham Krabok here in Thailand). AA ranks 38 in an evaluation of 48 alcohol treatment strategies conducted by the authors of Handbook of alcoholism treatment approaches: Effective alternatives (3rd ed.), 2003, Allyn & Bacon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoCal Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Tuky, What the he!! are you thinking? Get out of that place. It sounds perfectly dreadful. No wonder you are drinking like that. Life is short, and if you keep it up yours will be all the shorter. Life also has a strange way of working out, if you release yourself from whatever fears (likely money) are keeping you there, and surrender yourself to it. It's no kind of life for you, or your family (who I believe are in Thailand.) Think about what is really important to you. Right now it sounds like a nice head stone. Do the right thing, get out of there, and begin to put your life back in order. Best of Luck, SoCal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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