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Do You Have A Best Buddy In LOS?


lostsoul49

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I've found dozens of good friends over the past decade... both expat and Thai. Engage yourself in meaningful activities... stay out of the bars.

You can make good friends in bars, both Thai and expat.

Of course it depends what sort of bars, what sort of person you are and what sort of person you want as friends.

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Thinks ng about it I have three friends I would be comfortable discussing anything with and know I was getting an honest response.

Two of them I have known since my first trip to Thailand many moons ago.

I guess I'm lucky but I've had to filter through many azzholes too.....

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Why restrict it just to LOS (Thailand), sadly you could expand it to the whole world and the truth of the matter is that the human species is ever-evolving and are becoming disassociated with reality and the need for human interaction.

Its with everything. Marriages, families or the friends we make or what we have to choose from is not what it was.

Most peoples best friend is their iPhone 5s and even then there is no loyalty when the NEWER BETTER FASTER model comes out.

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I've never had more friends than I've had here. Perhaps it's because Chiang Mai has a very active community of retired expats. There's always something going on -- bridge, hiking, community service groups, dining out clubs, travel club, computer club, etc, etc. Then there are concerts and performances nearly every day to attend. You could keep yourself very scheduled and soon make friends as a newcomer.

I love the way Hubby has about a dozen really close male friends. I don't remember my father doing that at his age. He just sat around in his La-z-boy watching TV. Hubby is always meeting up with his friends for various project, much of which involves fixing elaborate American meals of outdoor male cooking. Smoked meats, potato salad and cole slaw, etc with much argument about just the right recipes and cooking techniques. They expend much time and effort in tracking down ingredients, equipment and venues to prepare their stuff. It's good to share a hobby with friends.

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My best buddy in LOS is my wife.

I have drinking buddies, talking buddies, walking buddies but none compared with the connection and friendship I have with my wife.

Well it's just about impossible to have any serious conversation with a Thai so i can't see how the wife could be your best friend. Coming from totally different backgrounds , cultures and levels of education it's just not possible. I've never met a Thai in 11 years who would be capable of an in depth conversation. The wife ... lol , my misiss is as thick as two short planks. She's a great girl but not my best mate. More like a great shag and treats me like a Roman Prince.

^ I totally disagree that your wife can't be your best buddy.....BUT...I guess it depends on a few things. One being how old your wife is compared to you, where she was raised, her exposure to life outside Thailand and where you live in TL. I have found over my years there are very specific demographics to some folks answers on forums. Not bad but clearly a product of their environment.

I am with Costas2008, My wife is probably my best buddy when it all comes down to it. I have a few foreigner friends I chat with but they are busy as am I. I agree we all need our "Guy" time to talk our talk but I find I get that with my Thai BIL and his friends as well as the few foreigners friends I talk with. In fact I usually have an excellent time out fishing with my BIL versus any foreigner. Same goes for watching soccer. Its all what you make it.

As for your "different back grounds" comment, I find that our cultural differences is what makes our relationship fun. She learns about mine, I learn about hers. We spend a lot of time laughing on how we do things in our countries. Why would a person want to be one dimensional?

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My best buddy in LOS is my wife.

I have drinking buddies, talking buddies, walking buddies but none compared with the connection and friendship I have with my wife.

Well it's just about impossible to have any serious conversation with a Thai so i can't see how the wife could be your best friend. Coming from totally different backgrounds , cultures and levels of education it's just not possible. I've never met a Thai in 11 years who would be capable of an in depth conversation. The wife ... lol , my misiss is as thick as two short planks. She's a great girl but not my best mate. More like a great shag and treats me like a Roman Prince.

The username says it all.

You just judged 6o million odd people, putting them all in one category. Who are you, Hitler reincarnated?

I really don't think it's your wife who's thick.

Well she did marry him.

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My best buddy in LOS is my wife.

I have drinking buddies, talking buddies, walking buddies but none compared with the connection and friendship I have with my wife.

I think you have placed this in the wrong context.

There is spouse love, there is children love, there is family love and there are the companionships of best friends, a peer or people that become part of our circles outside of the family relationships. We have family; we have mates or acquaintances and one or two close friends that to me are normal. I strongly believe that most of us sometimes need people of our own kind to converse with in our own languages, those we can relate with. I also love my Thai wife and children but if I did not have my close ex –pat friends to converse with once in a while, I think I would have cracked up long ago.

When I first plonked myself in Thailand over 30 years ago I had many decent friends in my circle, but over the years some died, some moved on to pastures anew and some just grew old and went off the scene. Now I am down to only a couple of what I call good mates but even those seem to be ageing fast, because most of my closest friends were older than me and it`s not the same as the good old days.

I think now days for the newbie’s or those who have only been here over the last few years have very little chance of acquiring close ex-pat friends in Thailand and can find themselves living a sort of isolated lifestyle and this is something that should be taken into consideration prior to moving here, unless you prefer to be a loner or the type like our costas2008 who don`t feel the need to have friends outside of the family unit. Whatever rocks your boat baby.

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So, according to you, I'm stupid, gay, and married to a hooker.

Anymore compliments from you?

Why are you so sad and resentful to other people?

Life hasn't been good for you?

Sorry Costos,

You've added two separate posts of mine together, and snipped some bits out.

Neither of which were aimed at you.

First post, in reply to Nanaprong. (Who couldn't understand how a Thai female could be a best friend)

Partially my fault there, I was too lazy to edit your bit out, gone back and done that now.

Second Post, in reply to Squarecircle. (Who couldn't respect a guy married to a hooker)

Nothing to do with you, we were talking about guys married to hookers.

Don't hit the nerves,it hurts!

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My best buddy in LOS is my wife.

I have drinking buddies, talking buddies, walking buddies but none compared with the connection and friendship I have with my wife.

Well it's just about impossible to have any serious conversation with a Thai so i can't see how the wife could be your best friend. Coming from totally different backgrounds , cultures and levels of education it's just not possible. I've never met a Thai in 11 years who would be capable of an in depth conversation. The wife ... lol , my misiss is as thick as two short planks. She's a great girl but not my best mate. More like a great shag and treats me like a Roman Prince.

I`m with you all the way on this. Perhaps our wife`s are sisters?

I love my Thai wife to pieces but it is virtually impossible to have any sort of deep and meaning conversation with her. My 3 children, adults now, all have their own lives and to them I am the dad and our conversations are mostly on a child to father basis. If I did not have some sort of outlet besides the family unit and other Thais, I would go completely insane, or even more insane than I am now, before anybody says it.

If some of you do have Thai wives that you can completely relate to on an intellectual level, as not only a wife but as a best friend, then that is a good thing and I envy you. But I believe on the whole these are exceptions to the rule because the majority of my ex-pats friends past and present seem to be in the same boat as me and nanapong.

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<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

nanapong, I'm happy for you and the way your wife treats you.

But, there is another world, out there that you don't seem you have noticed, being enclosed in your little "male" world.

Take my word, there are many Thais out there that are educated and can speak perfect English.

Just didn't happen for you to meet any.

I did.

Alternatively,

Stupid people can have friends too!

(Although I've only found male/female friendships work when the guy is gay)

I can respect guys who marry hookers if,

1. They don't try pretending they didn't marry a hooker.

2. They don't drag her around with them, and claim she is their best friend.

So, according to you, I'm stupid, gay, and married to a hooker.

Anymore compliments from you?

Why are you so sad and resentful to other people?

Life hasn't been good for you?

Well obviously this guy gas zero friends.

I npw I have one that I can rely on....

He is a Brit.....

Nice solid people.

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I have quite a few Farang acquaintances here in Thailand but not one that I would call a real friend. A friend to me is someone that I would have no hesitation in calling for help should I feel it necessary to be brought to a hospital in the middle of the night.

Edited by dotpoom
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My best buddy in LOS is my wife.

I have drinking buddies, talking buddies, walking buddies but none compared with the connection and friendship I have with my wife.

Well it's just about impossible to have any serious conversation with a Thai so i can't see how the wife could be your best friend. Coming from totally different backgrounds , cultures and levels of education it's just not possible. I've never met a Thai in 11 years who would be capable of an in depth conversation. The wife ... lol , my misiss is as thick as two short planks. She's a great girl but not my best mate. More like a great shag and treats me like a Roman Prince.

I`m with you all the way on this. Perhaps our wife`s are sisters?

I love my Thai wife to pieces but it is virtually impossible to have any sort of deep and meaning conversation with her. My 3 children, adults now, all have their own lives and to them I am the dad and our conversations are mostly on a child to father basis. If I did not have some sort of outlet besides the family unit and other Thais, I would go completely insane, or even more insane than I am now, before anybody says it.

If some of you do have Thai wives that you can completely relate to on an intellectual level, as not only a wife but as a best friend, then that is a good thing and I envy you. But I believe on the whole these are exceptions to the rule because the majority of my ex-pats friends past and present seem to be in the same boat as me and nanapong.

I have to ask, what kind of "deep and meaning conversation" are you looking to talk to a friend about that your wife does not grasp?. Just trying to understand.

I am one who enjoys my conversations with my wife as I am one of those few that you mention as an exception. Now My wife is college degree'd, has done some traveling outside TL to Japan and the U.S. She was a manager in BKK for a large medical institution. She speaks English quite well and is older. So again I think a a lot may stem from the lady you are with. I want to be clear that I am not saying that anyone has a lesser or greater wife. I am however saying your ability to communicate with them to a level you might like is probably (as I mentioned in a previous post) related to age, environment and exposure . An example if I may; you cannot expect to have a deep meaningful discussion about say your home country when she was born and raised lived in way out Issan and has minimal education and always worked on the farm. it would be unfair to expect an awful lot from her. Just saying.

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I have met many farang in Isaan and can honestly say 99% of them I wouldnt p#ss in their mouth if their teeth were on fire. They are constantly trying to scam each other of money, full of bullsh#t of how good they were and still are and full time drunks married to bar girls and treat them poorly. Certainly not my idea of some one I could ever call a friend. Once a year and for one beer only and that is more than enough for me. Have met one German bloke who is honest, caring for his family and can hold a decent conversation. He is a friend.

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If having friends, or even best friends was important for me, then I doubt I would be living here. Had many people that came and went in my life, some good, some bad, some dead. Since I weaned myself at 17 years old and left home, I have had a great adventurous life, getting by using my wits, instincts and learning by my mistakes (often unsuccessfully). The best part is feeling no pain, remorse, loneliness or pathetic self pity for the past. No regrets for things I've done, only for things I should have done. Right now, I am happy with my TGF and the small circle of people that I socialise with. I like my own company and that keeps me happy and satisfied.

Edited by watso63
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I have to ask, what kind of "deep and meaning conversation" are you looking to talk to a friend about that your wife does not grasp?. Just trying to understand.

Well,

I was talking to my bird about the universe and asked her if she favored the MOND (Modified Newtonian Dynamics) or the Dark Matter theory to explain away the inconsistencies, her reply was &lt;deleted&gt;!

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I have to ask, what kind of "deep and meaning conversation" are you looking to talk to a friend about that your wife does not grasp?. Just trying to understand.

Well,

I was talking to my bird about the universe and asked her if she favored the MOND (Modified Newtonian Dynamics) or the Dark Matter theory to explain away the inconsistencies, her reply was <deleted>!

Well Geee I can see why you would have some angst about it all. Its a shame she did not know that. I mean how many people do. I would need a couple of long deep draw bong hits before I could enter into a discussion like that...5555

When the car makes noise do you tell her not to worry, Its only the muffler bearing?biggrin.png

Cheers

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If having friends, or even best friends was important for me, then I doubt I would be living here. Had many people that came and went in my life, some good, some bad, some dead. Since I weaned myself at 17 years old and left home, I have had a great adventurous life, getting by using my wits, instincts and learning by my mistakes (often unsuccessfully). The best part is feeling no pain, remorse, loneliness or pathetic self pity for the past. No regrets for things I've done, only for things I should have done. Right now, I am happy with my TGF and the small circle of people that I socialise with. I like my own company and that keeps me happy and satisfied.

w63 how true,yes I have been there and once had a suitcase full of the T-SHIRTS.

now I have 2 best buddies,MY WIFE AND MY DOG that's in any order.

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Hubby and I definitely are each others best friends and I know many other expat couples in the same situation. As I said earlier, Chiang Mai is probably unique in that there is so much for retired expats to do. You can keep yourself very busy with healthy activities with a wide circle of friends. We're both very involved with many activities.

We talk a lot, mostly about what we did during the day and what our mutual friends are up to. Some evenings we decide to go out to eat, rather than stay home, mainly so we can talk and have someone else cook dinner. Recently we were at a neighborhood restaurant, chatting away, when an acquaintance came up and commented. "What is it with you two? You've been married for something like 75 years, yet you've been talking together non-stop all evening." I guess I hadn't thought about it. Many long-time married couples go out to eat and have nothing to say to each other. How awful.

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My wife opened the Lollipop bar in Chiang Mai. I have lived here for 7 years and did the bar thing about 3 times a week which means i know a lot of people. I was excited about her owning the bar. I invited my friends (not 100 but certainly 30+). Amazing the number who have never come. Probably all of them have walked by without a visit. My wife said - they were never a friend. What are they - hummmm. Don't know but they never come by to play a game of pool. (I can say about 4 have come to the bar - and not by far the 4 I would have bet on coming).

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I have met many farang in Isaan and can honestly say 99% of them I wouldnt p#ss in their mouth if their teeth were on fire. They are constantly trying to scam each other of money, full of bullsh#t of how good they were and still are and full time drunks married to bar girls and treat them poorly. Certainly not my idea of some one I could ever call a friend. Once a year and for one beer only and that is more than enough for me. Have met one German bloke who is honest, caring for his family and can hold a decent conversation. He is a friend.

Johnathan Jo

has a mouth like an O

but this is what makes him so funny

If you give him a smile

only once in a while

Then he never expects any money

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We come into the world alone. We will die alone. Usually.. . .All the in between contacts, friendships etc are a bonus.

when we have them we have them and when we don't we don't

Don't rely on anyone

Appreciate what we've got

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My best buddy in LOS is my wife.

I have drinking buddies, talking buddies, walking buddies but none compared with the connection and friendship I have with my wife.

Well it's just about impossible to have any serious conversation with a Thai so i can't see how the wife could be your best friend. Coming from totally different backgrounds , cultures and levels of education it's just not possible. I've never met a Thai in 11 years who would be capable of an in depth conversation. The wife ... lol , my misiss is as thick as two short planks. She's a great girl but not my best mate. More like a great shag and treats me like a Roman Prince.

Sad, very sad...

Yes, indeed my heart goes out to you. I have a very intelligent Thai woman. She is sharp as a tack. Nearly a photographic memory, and super smart. But, being Thai, she is not philosophical, and there are many things that simply do not interest her. So, many things we cannot talk about. That does not mean she is not my best friend. We share a lot of kindness, trust, and great times together. I have other friends who I can get intellectual stimulation from. My maturity has allowed me to see that there are few people who ever experience the all in one deal, or the person who works on all levels, kind of life companion. I am ok with that. I do not need her to be everything.

As far as meeting good people here, I would say it is similar to the west, in that great friendship is akin to great fortune. Some have it, some do not have that fortune. I have been blessed with some very good friends here. They are all ex-pats, living all over this country. What is so shocking is that in all the years I have been here, I have not established a single real friendship, with a Thai person. Not making any judgments here. Just expressing my surprise and frustration at this fact of life. And I know it is about fortune. I simply have not been fortunate to meet the caliber of Thais I would want to be good friends with. And I do not meet as many farangs as I would like either, to establish good friendships with. But, the only place in the states I have ever lived where that was the case was Manhattan. The caliber of the local population was so high, I never went more than 15 days without meeting someone I really wanted to get to know. Shallow friendships are a dime a dozen, but real friendships are a thing of beauty, and a great blessing in life.

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I have to ask, what kind of "deep and meaning conversation" are you looking to talk to a friend about that your wife does not grasp?. Just trying to understand.

Well,

I was talking to my bird about the universe and asked her if she favored the MOND (Modified Newtonian Dynamics) or the Dark Matter theory to explain away the inconsistencies, her reply was <deleted>!

biggrin.png

Sssh, you're giving clues to your secret identity. tongue.png

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My best buddy in LOS is my wife.

I have drinking buddies, talking buddies, walking buddies but none compared with the connection and friendship I have with my wife.

Well it's just about impossible to have any serious conversation with a Thai so i can't see how the wife could be your best friend. Coming from totally different backgrounds , cultures and levels of education it's just not possible. I've never met a Thai in 11 years who would be capable of an in depth conversation. The wife ... lol , my misiss is as thick as two short planks. She's a great girl but not my best mate. More like a great shag and treats me like a Roman Prince.

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We come into the world alone. We will die alone. Usually.. . .All the in between contacts, friendships etc are a bonus.

when we have them we have them and when we don't we don't

Don't rely on anyone

Appreciate what we've got

You're right,we were the fastest sperm in the shot,we've done our bit.

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