Should Expats Advise Rude Tourists To Behave?

[NaiGreg]

In the lobby at Chiangmai Ram hospital today, a loud and belligerent German man (about 60 y.o.) was berating the girl at the bill counter over a trivial matter. He told her she was "stupid" and that she was to "shut up" while he was speaking [nonsense]. He went on and on.

I was sitting, infuriated, with my wife and infant son, waiting for our turn to pay. I decided to speak with him and did so. Believing that two rude people don't make a rude situation into a polite one, I respectfully asked him to refrain from using inappropraite language as he was disturbing people. (In my mind's eye, however, I was clubbing him over the head with a blunt instrument.) He grunted and then continued berating the girl.

My wife was unhappy with me for getting involved. I explained that it was very different situation from a drunken brawl in a bar and I was obliged to say something. She countered that, as a former tour guide, she dealt with these types frequently and believed that intervention was useless.

So who is right?

And one more thing ... I mentioned the idiot was German only because I am not. If encountering a fellow countryman, my respoonse would have been more harsh, I think!

[soic]

In the lobby at Chiangmai Ram hospital today, a loud and belligerent German man (about 60 y.o.) was berating the girl at the bill counter over a trivial matter. He told her she was "stupid" and that she was to "shut up" while he was speaking [nonsense]. He went on and on.

I was sitting, infuriated, with my wife and infant son, waiting for our turn to pay. I decided to speak with him and did so. Believing that two rude people don't make a rude situation into a polite one, I respectfully asked him to refrain from using inappropraite language as he was disturbing people. (In my mind's eye, however, I was clubbing him over the head with a blunt instrument.) He grunted and then continued berating the girl.

My wife was unhappy with me for getting involved. I explained that it was very different situation from a drunken brawl in a bar and I was obliged to say something. She countered that, as a former tour guide, she dealt with these types frequently and believed that intervention was useless.

So who is right?

And one more thing ... I mentioned the idiot was German only because I am not. If encountering a fellow countryman, my respoonse would have been more harsh, I think!

I too would have spoken up, I don't think that I would have been as nice though. I'd have told him that acting as he was, he was an embarrassment to himself and other foreigners. I don't think that there is ever an excuse for bad behavior.

[kat]

Yeah, I know your dilemma first-hand. A near identical situation happened to me, except the offending party wouldn't admit his nationality, but I suspect German.

Almost the same scene: loudly and harshly berating the female waitresses in Pita Pan, on Sukhumvit. I could not stand it anymore, so I intervened, which of course he then took an invitation to berate me. That didn't work out as well for him, though.

But, the waitstaff did retreat into a neutral position well away from both of crazy foreigners.

Happened another time on the BTS: young Italian backpakers were talking so loudly and rudely on the skytrain, that the discomfort and displeasure were visible on every Thai face around them. I tried to softly alert them to that fact, until they tried to get rude with me. Finally, they said they didn't care if they were offensive to people around them. I asked them why they bother to travel in that case, why didn't they just save their money and stay home?

That quieted them, but about three youngish Thai women broke out laughing, and I got the impression they were laughing at me. But, mai bpen lai, because I know from gestures after the fact that a few older Thai people on the train were grateful.

[Loaded]

In the lobby at Chiangmai Ram hospital today, a loud and belligerent German man (about 60 y.o.) was berating the girl at the bill counter over a trivial matter. He told her she was "stupid" and that she was to "shut up" while he was speaking [nonsense]. He went on and on.

Impossible for us farang to imagine how much face she lost. She may now have a negative idea about other farang and decide that before she loses her face she'll make them (us) lose theirs first - pretend she doesn't understand, smile and walk away...

[tigerbeer]

dont know about anyone else but the cashier women at chiangmai ram are kinda rude.

[johnb]

Interesting I watched a programme last night (UK) that concluded that 80% of people in the UK would not intervene to stop load and rude behavior in restraunts or on trains because;

a) they were embarrased

They were frightened about repercussions

IMHO if someone is ignorant enough to berate another person in public, especially farang to Thai female then intervention would not alter his future behavior, albeit would stop the Kno*head in that particular instance

So yes I think you are correct in getting involed

Johnb

[mallmagician]

You certainly shouldn't say anything. This was clearly an anti-semetic racial attack on a Jewish German.

Phil

[Rasseru]

You might consider starting a business instead. You could prepare a number of signs that read "No Germans" and offer, after the offending farang has vanished, to sell them, at a reasonably healthy price, to the victimized establishment.

[sbk]

Boys, behave

[Gonzo the Face]

Boys, behave

Excuse me but can girls be bad ???

I like bad girls....

On second thought I guess they can and the best of the year gets a ribbon "Miss Behave"

Edited August 15, 2006 by Gonzo the Face

[lannarebirth]

You might consider starting a business instead. You could prepare a number of signs that read "No Germans" and offer, after the offending farang has vanished, to sell them, at a reasonably healthy price, to the victimized establishment.

OK, now we're getting somewhere. Maybe a sign stating "no Germans over 50, No Israelis under 30", and if I had my way, "no children with those annoying handheld video games".

[Rasseru]

You may have missed it, Lannarebirth, but I think we have been told by the powers-that-be to drop this line of facetiousness.

[Gonzo the Face]

You may have missed it, Lannarebirth, but I think we have been told by the powers-that-be to drop this line of facetiousness.

Cheeeesse Must be the sign of the times.

Psssst No more 4 letter words ok guys...

[lannarebirth]

You may have missed it, Lannarebirth, but I think we have been told by the powers-that-be to drop this line of facetiousness.

Ooooh, gotcha. I did miss it, sorry. Anyway...

It's funny, when I come across a rude foreigner, especially an American (like me) I DO feel compelled to put them right regarding treating others respectfully. My Thai GF says it's not my business and I shouldn't get involved. BUT here's the thing! When she finds a Thai being disrespectful to a foreigner, she's all over them like white on rice. Meanwhile I'M thinking she should mind her own business, not knowing the context of the dispute. So, I guess none of us like others to cast our nationality (whichever) in a bad light.

[britmaveric]

Good smacking is prob what would be needed. I think anything less, prob the ignorant c*nt wouldnt get through his thick skull on what proper behaviour is and how to deal with issues without berating the thai staff.

[jdinasia]

I don't even need to chime in here .........

Edited August 15, 2006 by jdinasia

[ronw]

Good smacking is prob what would be needed. I think anything less, prob the ignorant c*nt wouldnt get through his thick skull on what proper behaviour is and how to deal with issues without berating the thai staff.

I have found that a quiet word,if possible, given away from the immediate area,sometimes works....but one must ALWAYS remember the old aphorism....."it is impossible to educate pork"

[Khleerm]

Good smacking is prob what would be needed.

How many smacks?

[britmaveric]

Good smacking is prob what would be needed.

How many smacks?

One would be sufficient.....

[toptuan]

I think anyone insensitive, rude and belligerant enough to treat someone like that, wouldn't think twice of belting you in the jaw if you confronted them as well. I would approach such a wild, irrational animal with caution.

[britmaveric]

I think anyone insensitive, rude and belligerant enough to treat someone like that, wouldn't think twice of belting you in the jaw if you confronted them as well. I would approach such a wild, irrational animal with caution.

No worries if the lad wanted more - we are quite capable of assisting his requests.

[meadish_sweetball]

Not so sure your idea of solving the problem would improve the hospital staff's general image of Westerners.

[britmaveric]

Not so sure your idea of solving the problem would improve the hospital staff's general image of Westerners.

Maybe, maybe not

[Gonzo the Face]

Not so sure your idea of solving the problem would improve the hospital staff's general image of Westerners.

Maybe not , but you might get a commission for increasing their business

[migrant]

I was in a Soi 4 bar (back in my single days) and a couple guys came in. They had obviously been there before and knew some of the ladies.

They proceeded to grab, and paw. The ladies did not say much, other than try to fend them off.

I commented to the (obviously) senior man. We got into a bit of a verbal exchange, but he eventually quieted down before anything physical happened.

They left soon after to different haunts, and the ladies actually bought me a beer (I had talked with them a lot over the last few days (no dates))

Very disrespectful.

[scubanor]

Hi guys,

I'm not a resident of Chiang Mai or Thailand in particular.. yet But I could not help replying to this post. We all have a duty to interfere or help in anyway that we can if someone is being belittled or in any similar situation where one feel it is called upon. Just the fact that one feel embarrased on anyones behalf should be a sign that the situation is not "appreciated".

I have worked as security guard and bouncer at various establishments and we have had a zero tolerance for behaviour as described here. And I have felt and interfered just like the guys here, however the best way we found to deal with these arrogant carachters was to approach them friendly at first, try to make them walk some steps with you away from the situation, then increase the tone in your voice and tell it straight to them that this is not a situation that is appreciated or that anyone would like to see escalate, least of all him..

Believe it or not, I'm not a big fellow in any respect, but this approach have softened guys that easily could have eaten me for breakfast.

Gentlemen, just imagine it was your wife or girlfriend that was embarrased, wouldn't you like that someone stood up for her...

[Blinky Bill]

Not so sure your idea of solving the problem would improve the hospital staff's general image of Westerners.

I recall a number of years ago when I was in Pattaya with my good mate the Mysterious Aussie who was once involved in The Escape. We were in an open fronted bar at about midday having a quiet beer whilst watching the world go by.

Unfortunately the peace and tranquility of the establishment was shattered by a loud mouthed drunken scandanavian who was verbally abusing his wife (also scandanavian). This abuse turned physical when he slapped her across the face. My mate the Mysterious Aussie being an ex-cop was fairly piste off by this behaviour but held back. The staff of the bar were also piste off with this clown and when one of the girls told him to leave he had a swing at her as well. That was enough to set my mate off. He confronted the guy saying if he wanted to belt someone around to try him. One swing from the scandanvian was followed by numerous from the Mysterious Aussie which resulted in the aggressor finding himself semi-conscious on the footpath outside the bar.

Not only did the wife of the scandanavian thank the Mysterious Aussie but so did all the staff of the bar and numerous shop and other bar staff along the street. Apparently this clown had been causing trouble in a number of other establishments over a few days.

[Ulysses G.]

I give the dirtbag a little credit for standing up to the Mysterious Aussie after seeing his size. He must have been REALLY drunk. Anyone who was sober would get polite quickly.

[Axel]

I have no idea about tourists, but with business people, it's easy.

If you have a German on the wrong side, just tell him that he behaves like an (US) AmErican.

That will shut him (her?) up immediatedly.

Same with the Chinese, just say they behave liKe a Japanese tourist > PEACE

Edited August 17, 2006 by Axel

[bkkmadness]

Not so sure your idea of solving the problem would improve the hospital staff's general image of Westerners.

Maybe, maybe not

Meadish, this is why the English get a bad reputation for fighting in Thailand. It's generally from the tourists trying to act the big man in front of the Thai ladies. A German is the obvious target for the typical British thug.