Expatitis in Thailand, Is Your Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

[somo]

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It's easy to form negative impressions of Thais in general. The easiest thing to dislike about them is that they don't live in an authentic experience with others. They are generally deceitful in all aspects of their relationships. To the outsider, this is not understandable. The foreigner or expat also has a negative view of Thais for their lack of responsibility and commitment. They reneg on business deals and personal promises. They manipulate the facts to suit their self absorbed interests. Thais don't read, they are not interested in classical art, music or world history.

Thais generally have little or no awareness of western culture. They live in a total state of denial about their society and its reality. They have little or no intellectual curiosity or passion about much. They have little work ethic and their sense of value is most limited to material things and money. Just look at the way Thais splay out money at any event. Random acts of truthfulness and honesty are big news in the Thai press. Thais love secrecy, exclusion, and opaqueness in society, business, and life in general. Thais rarely if ever take responsibility and never say I'm sorry, I made a mistake. When expats get together, it's easy to complain about Thais because something has always just happened that has them shaking their heads about Thais. Expats who don't complain about Thais are living in the same false reality and unauthentic life experience. Expats who never complain about Thais or Thailand are being deceitful to themselves or they've become Thai thinking in a land where Thais will never accept them for who they really are.

Wow, my respect and compliments to Noitom because this comment must be the best post in this whole thread and on this subject in general.

I think this post unfortunately is 100% especially the part about lack of intellectual curiosity or the inability to be accountable for their actions

Noitom's post succeeds in giving you a certain perspective on why the defensive expats are that way. It's the "thainess" rut they actually kind of want to fall into. Some people just plain don't mind being a pin-cushion (that much).

Noitoms post is largely correct.

Thais are largely irresponsible, unreliable, refuse to face reality, always believe they are right, unfair, uneducated in the arts and most other things, into secrecy but useless at keeping secrets, etc etc.

Bunch of kids really and I love kids. Adults are much much worse.

[micmichd]

http://www.myhealthbeijing.com/expatitis/expatitis-syndrome-are-you-infested/

That's the first definition of the term 'expatitis' I found.

It states that there expats suffer from stress after a conscious decision.

I studied social psychology, and it sounds like cognitive dissonance to me.

A stressful mental state that is not a mental defect, and it will affect even the ones that know about it. Seeking assertion is part of the cognitive dissonance process, and defending one's own position is normal.

Saying that, expatitis is not only a diagnosis, it's also a therapy.

[Luxfare]

DAVEASIA-

Where to start, I can only assume you're a troll as there are so many holes in your story and reasoning I cannot believe anyone is that intellectually challenged and as hypocritical.

1/ You were putting everyone into 2 categories...you know the sentence where you wrote " I've got quite a simple explaination for this divide into 2 camps, non-whiners and whiners" THOSE ARE YOUR WORDS. If you meant to put more detail in then you should have, you cannot blame people for not "reading between the lines" just because your literacy skills are poor.

2/ You meantion emotional intelligence......10 lines after insulting us with our "lack of intelligence" because we challenged you...do you require me to explain hypocrisy and irony to you? or can you look those definitions up yourself?

3/ The definitions of treason you say....that's your best yet. The definition of treason has nothing to do with criticism of a home nation being imperfect, if you think it does then I'll add wannabe international lawyer to wannabe Sociologist and wannabe psychologist which I have you pegged as.

4/ Belittling my home country despite it's long list of achievements you say...would those be the slave trade? the colonization and genocide or the recent illegal invasion of Iraq?

5/ What has Thailand done for me? erm, it's given me employment as a senior manager in one of it's biggest companies....so yes it does empty my pockets (It's called living expenses) but it fills them up first, I'd say that's something.

6/ And I'm currently learning Thai both written and language and when I've completed that I will be able to apply for citizenship, it may take a few years but I'm patient......maybe if you had more intelligence you could apply but hey ho...it's not for everyone.

Honestly, proving you wrong is like shooting fish in a barrel.

555, couldn't help promoting yourself again in 5 and 6. Please explain to the readers of this very off topic reply how you proved me wrong. My literacy skills are poor? Lol. Says the ex-copper who made a tonne of mistakes in every reply so far(yet he says he is a senior manager these days)

Let me promote myself for a wee bit here, sure to trigger another reply from you, he who has too much time on his hands these days and trolls TVF looking for other posters to attack. I do have a degree in Law besides a PhD in Science and Philosophy, not in Sociology, but did a course in Psychology back in the day. I have worked all over the world and love living in Thailand. Even have a half Thai son. Sorry I don't fit your profile Lux. Obviously you find it so hard to understand how someone can love it somewhere and still complain about it. Oh yeah, that was the topic of this wonderful thread; expats who complain should bugger off. Good luck with your Thai citizenship!! You fit in well Lux

And yes, I like winding people up face to face too, especially in TH, where it's so easy, ex-coppers love to take the bait, 555

You've more tall tales than Enid Blyton. You want to meet face to face then I'm game. Just don't go crying to mother when it turns pear shaped for you.

There's the threat again. Did i get to you Luxfare? Lol. I'm sure you are not a full shilling mate and you spend most of your day scanning TV for people to annoy. Who else would threaten people they don't know anything about in a public forum and then challenge them to a face to face meeting? 555. Nobody in their right mind would do that, only a halfwit who is bluffing. Haven't seen your PM in my inbox yet.

Obviously we don't see eye to eye Luxfare, but still you can't accept that someone is different than you. Why do you feel so superior? You try to spin my words to suit your own agenda and make assumptions about stuff you don't have a clue about and when I don't bite you start to threaten me and challenge me for a face to face meeting. I thought coppers are always supposed to keep their calm and be a good example to everyone. I doubt your story even more now. For all you know I am a computer genius and I have your IP address now and your location. You should be really careful with making threats to people in public places. Where I am from that's a deadly sin. I recommend you to drop this challenge/argument if you know what's good for you. I'm pretty sure the other TV members are becoming very bored with your quest mate.

Just to answer your question about moving around so much because to you that sounds pretty strange doesn't it. Some people like to travel mate. Others like to stay in 1 place all their life. Simple. Nothing to do with locals chasing me down the road. I like that story though, might spin it into another short story, cheers

Because I am superior to you. Not one thing I've said is untrue. Yet PhD? Degree in Law? Not one person believes you. And if you feel I made a threat then report me to TVF moderators and the RTP. You can explain the "love to wind people up face to face bit".

You clearly don't do face to face as you're now back tracking like I expected. Watch you don't trip on that tail between your legs.

[DaveinAsia]

@ ex-copper; Who are you calling a coward and liar? 555. Did you not read the part where it said I didn't see your PM in my inbox yet? I'm ready. I'm sure I could find at least 50 other Paddy's here in BKK that would go in my place mate. The chance to take out a Pom ex-copper. That's almost an orgasm, just thinking about it. You are superior and better, that's why you joined the pig force....still you don't give up. If you are as big as you claim you are drop me that PM.

Yours sincerely

[Luxfare]

@ ex-copper; Who are you calling a coward and liar? 555. Did you not read the part where it said I didn't see your PM in my inbox yet? I'm ready. I'm sure I could find at least 50 other Paddy's here in BKK that would go in my place mate. The chance to take out a Pom ex-copper. That's almost an orgasm, just thinking about it. You are superior and better, that's why you joined the pig force....still you don't give up. If you are as big as you claim you are drop me that PM.

Yours sincerely

See how easy I got you. PhD and Law graduate are you, with an attitude like that. Tut tut tut. You're a troll and now everyone knows it.

[micmichd]

Breathtaking:

Farang authorities on stage, Expatitis live

[Luxfare]

Breathtaking:

Farang authorities on stage, Expatitis live

Oh the above messages are nothing, you should see his private messages where he's claiming to be ex IRA imprisoned in the Maze for killing two police officers, I particularly liked the bit where he said he can find me in 15 minutes and intends to kill me.

I guess his glass is half empty just like his skull. :-)

[mikeinbangkok]

After all these posts , my conclusion is that many of these are carrying around half empty, not glasses, but Skulls...ha ha.

[Luxfare]

After all these posts , my conclusion is that many of these are carrying around half empty, not glasses, but Skulls...ha ha.

Yeah, I shouldn't let it bother me but jeez I just cannot help myself when arguing with trolls. Tricking them into exposing what they actually are is a challenge I enjoy......I suppose I'm giving them what they want though.....conversation.

[SoiBiker]

I swear this place is getting worse by the day.

[Luxfare]

I swear this place is getting worse by the day.

I agree, I originally joined to read news and maybe find things out but I am surprised by the sheer amount of trolls on here...I shouldn't react and take my own advice but what can I say....I sometimes have little to do at work.

I seen the abuse you were unjustly getting on the sexpat thread....I guess they're everywhere.

[DaveinAsia]

Breathtaking:

Farang authorities on stage, Expatitis live

Oh the above messages are nothing, you should see his private messages where he's claiming to be ex IRA imprisoned in the Maze for killing two police officers, I particularly liked the bit where he said he can find me in 15 minutes and intends to kill me.

I guess his glass is half empty just like his skull. :-)

555, biting again....tell everyone what you said in the PM to me.....it's been fun toying with you Luxfare. See you at the Ashton later, soi 38 was it? Such a cry baby. First you threaten me, want a face to face meeting and then when I warn you that you shouldn't threaten people you continue doing it. You shouldn't try to push people to violence, but hey, I guess that's why you were a cop.

Ps; thanks for misusing the trust I had in you

[Plutojames88]

Beautiful day for a walk .

Life is what you make it.

And sure people complain sometimes too much .

But complaining about some things don't deserve over thinking by others .

Examples said before complaints about poor service things like "bad food" resulting in food poisoning - is well worth acknowledging the guy complaining if he names the Indian restaurant near by you were thinking about trying.

It's always fair in some instances like a bar drink to acknowledge an Expat who might be disappointed the media are being given less freedoms along with popular web sites people talk on.

It might not affect your life ""for now"" but it's interesting discussing how it might later.

Certainly I am for freedom of speech even the glass half empty guy.

It's certainly better to tolerate that occasionally than some ""attitude adjustment program "" you might also end up on for what's even said above , were it brought to authorities more and more buzzing the countries landscape looking for disagreement where ever it exists .

Not everyone suffers from Stockholm Syndrome or believes generals dressed up and staring into a camera each Friday evening.

If whinging is saying why should I pay ten times more to walk in the national Park?

I guess I am catching that so called bug .

Then again who cares ?

[55Jay]

Beautiful day for a walk .

Life is what you make it.

And sure people complain sometimes too much .

But complaining about some things don't deserve over thinking by others .

Examples said before complaints about poor service things like "bad food" resulting in food poisoning - is well worth acknowledging the guy complaining if he names the Indian restaurant near by you were thinking about trying.

It's always fair in some instances like a bar drink to acknowledge an Expat who might be disappointed the media are being given less freedoms along with popular web sites people talk on.

It might not affect your life ""for now"" but it's interesting discussing how it might later.

Certainly I am for freedom of speech even the glass half empty guy.

It's certainly better to tolerate that occasionally than some ""attitude adjustment program "" you might also end up on for what's even said above , were it brought to authorities more and more buzzing the countries landscape looking for disagreement where ever it exists .

Not everyone suffers from Stockholm Syndrome or believes generals dressed up and staring into a camera each Friday evening.

If whinging is saying why should I pay ten times more to walk in the national Park?

I guess I am catching that so called bug .

Then again who cares ?

Who cares? Nobody. That's the absurdity of the OP and the pages of Exhibit (a) that followed it.

[micmichd]

A good example of trans-cultural social psychology.

[hawker9000]

A good example of trans-cultural social psychology.

'Or maybe just a case of simple denial?

Nah. Not enough syllables.

[wolfmanjack]

Most of the things I complain about my thai friends complain about also.

[Mr Somtam]

I've got quite a simple explanation for this divide into 2 camps; non-whiners and whiners.

If you are a thoughtful, considerate, philosophical, concerned and emotional being you will have a hard time fitting in here.

However, if you are lacking empathy, are indifferent, self-conceited, fun loving and easy going you will fit in great.

Not saying that all Thailand lovers are sociopaths, not at all, but a lot of them are easy going, Leo drinking fun lovers.

Thailand doesn't attract too many expats (excl.expats who work in multinationals, government or NGO's) who think outside of the box because if you do you are stamped a whiner, trouble maker, depressed or bad sport by the fun lovers and that's exactly my point.

One of the reasons many farangs actually move here is to escape from being a responsible person back home, because Thailand is known for it's mai pen rai mentality.

Hence the comments if you don't like it here go back home. There is not much thoughtfulness or care for society by these ostriches. They just want to be left alone in their bubble with their glass half full and care about themselves. They automatically assume that if you complain about something Thai that you don't like it here. They can't think outside of their self-imposed box structure. I mean, who would want to complain when you can be sitting on the beach with a Leo and a nice female massaging your shoulders while you are talking bs with your mates? They can't imagine because their imagination doesn't go further than the basics of life sad to say.

They never get tired of that same old same old, year in, year out. That's something I can't get my head around. Perhaps they are easier satisfied and happy. Ignorance is bliss so they say.

They can't see the difference between caring and whining. Any criticism of society is seen as complaining. It's how they are wired. They just don't care and consider any intellectual thought as threatening to their existence in Utopia.

Bring up any interesting topic and they will try to ridicule you with dumbfounded comments.

Most of them are ego-maniacs who tap themselves on the shoulder all day long and love talking about themselves, how wonderful they are and how they have made it. If you haven't made it just as big as them or bigger you are a loser.

I've met 100's, if not 1000's of these expats over the years, from BKK to Samui to CM and Phuket. This is also how the rest of the world perceives expats living in Thailand. They see us as braindead, uncaring and useless barflies.

My advice to the farangs with half a brain who actually care about the world and other people; don't even try to convince these people and never argue with them! They are conservative in their thinking and doing and they know everything better. They are the same guys who say you should hang the mentally retarded Russian who killed the security guard.

They lack empathy and emotional intelligence and that's why they fit in better.

Anyone with a working brain who has been here for longer than 10 years can see that Thailand is not the country we fell in love with back then. I find it rather disturbing to see how greed, violence and ignorance are filling this once very chilled out nation more and more and by talking about these topics perhaps we can have more insight and then maybe do something about it. Has nothing to do with half full or half empty. Don't let them manipulate you into believing that you are negative, they don't know s-hit. Remember the 80's song by Bruce Hornsby? The way it is........ That's their life philosophy. They have convinced themselves that we can't change anything and things that we can't change should be left alone. Don't count on any of them for bettering the world, they simply don't care, only about themselves.

Been here longer than 10 years??? I have been here for 5 months (and been here 8 times for holiday) and I see all this already. But then I am the philosophical/caring/thoughtful type. I like the Thai people, I speak the lingo a little, I socialise in the village and all that but to be honest most of them are really "braindead", they don't see the consequenses of their behaviour: littering, corruption, getting into financial problems, driving like madmen... I guess me and my Thai wife will be heading back to Holland soon. She is as fed up as me about the mentality here, all naa yai, big face, but no real substance or ethics.

[luckyman]

The words that kept me here for over 3 decades: thank god they are not as good as us.

My point exactly!

Because if they were, I could never have been this succescul and build up a fantastic company specialized in a niche market thanks to the huge void Thais have left for me to operate in.

Secondly, I came here with 2000 euros for a sabbatical, found a job by luck, started a company by wit and have a very good life now thanks to the way Thailand is and to the way Thais are...!

Lastly, because I dont need lots of friends, love the beaches and adore thai women I cannot see how I could become this happy back in my cold and wet home country the Netherlands where I would be crucified for having a beautiful and loving girlfriend half my age! I guess this all makes my glass more than half full, hence my moniker 'Luckyman'.

Amen.

[luckyman]

I believe there is a lot more than either a half full or half empty glass.

Everybody is equal but nobody thinks exactly the same, proof isnwritten all over this thread. Nice topic !